new Thai GF - what can I expect?

[The Deerhunter]

Expect to get screwed some more. I would have been more impressed if she had played a big hard to get but you never know.

[Rayk]

She'll love you for as long as it takes her to spend all your vast Western wealth.

[ryanhull]

haha, you ask the internet what to expect from a women?, or do you think Thai women are any different from other nationalities your own included?... I rekon if I asked my grandad who has been married 60 odd years he would'nt know.. if you ever find out will let me know please. Have a word mate

[steve73]

Next time you visit T/L plan to arrive a week before she thinks you'll be arriving... You can say when you get here that you managed to get off work early as things were slack, or some similar story.

If she's happy to see you early then it's good news (but still be on the lookout for other signs).. But if she's angry that you surprised her or "unavailable" then odds are you're being played.

Edited March 18, 2016 by steve73

[rocketboybkk]

Don't feed the troll!

Why not?

It's good fun

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Jeddah Jo]

Next time you visit T/L plan to arrive a week before she thinks you'll be arriving... You can say when you get here that you managed to get off work early as things were slack, or some similar story.

If she's happy to see you early then it's good news (but still be on the lookout for other signs).. But if she's angry that you surprised her or "unavailable" then odds are you're being played.

Yeah but the lie why she cannot come right now will be so good and so convincing he will just wait in his hotel room like a good little boy.

[steve73]

Next time you visit T/L plan to arrive a week before she thinks you'll be arriving... You can say when you get here that you managed to get off work early as things were slack, or some similar story.

If she's happy to see you early then it's good news (but still be on the lookout for other signs).. But if she's angry that you surprised her or "unavailable" then odds are you're being played.

Yeah but the lie why she cannot come right now will be so good and so convincing he will just wait in his hotel room like a good little boy.

Give her 24 hours to get from wherever she is... and enjoy a couple of soapies while he waits. If she's keen & genuine she'll make the effort - but if she's playing him like a fish, and not otherwise busy she may still make the effort...

Edited March 18, 2016 by steve73

[fey]

Go to the Stickman Bangkok website and you'll get a pretty good idea.

OP: the above is what you need.

On that website you want to find 'Reader's Submissions' and start with the 5 star ones, then dip into some from years gone by before a lot of more recent ones. You'll be there for hours, surprised, fascinated, entertained, shocked and feeling happy for a few and sad for many.

Also be aware the biggest danger for guys like you - it's a very well trodden path - is denial and not recognizing red flags when they come up.

a further danger is finding evidence for what your expecting to see.

one of the big negatives of spending to much time around negative people either in person or in writing.

approach everything with a clean slate as much as you can, bit not naively.

otherwise your going to sabotage every relationship before it starts.

[montrii]

Hey guy, please don't be too put off by the huge number of cynics here. Most of them have been through the school of hard knocks, which you may or may not be about to enter. The trouble with their advice is that their bad experiences have outweighed the good. I have run the gamut of experiences here and have ended up happy, seriously happy, for a number of years now. I've also been screwed over in just about all the other ways at one point or another . . . live and learn. The reason most guys are attracted to the women here is that there truly is something different going on, and it does have potential that's very hard to find elsewhere. So just keep your eyes open, but have courage. Go for it, and good luck. If it doesn't work out, you've learned something. Be prepared to be disappointed, but try to take away something positive. If the chemistry's right, and you're VERY lucky, you might have something really cool this very first time. But be prepared to come down from your high. Just don't let the bastards grind you down. Some of the finest women I've met in the world have been women with stories similar to yours. The cynics will scoff at that, but it's as true as anything I know. And I've been around Thailand a lot longer than practically anyone on this board. Seriously. My regret is that I had to choose only one, but that's how it goes in this life, can't really get away with more than that.

[Lenscraft]

Wow, havent been on these forums long, but wow there are some bitter guys here

Very much so. I'm constantly shocked by the amount of distain posters here for the Thai people in general. I wonder what they're doing in Thailand?

That said, Apostate should use caution moving forward. Spending time in Pattaya is definitely a red flag ?. While I haven't been to Pattaya, I know that a "nice girl" would probably avoid the place, especially for a romantic week by the sea. Why not suggest Hua Hin instead? (The beaches are nicer and it's where the nicer Bangkokers go.)

I'd suggest reading a book about Thai dating. The Thai culture is very different, and worth your time to understand. I've really enjoyed reading the Kindle books by Tim Blether, including "The Vicious Truth About Thai Hookers" & "How to Meet a Good Thai Lady". (This book bundle is also good.) (I'm gay, but I think that the scams are pretty much the same.)

I thought that LemonJelly's post was a good idea. Though I hate the idea of entrapment, it's a good way to tell if she's playing you. (My gut tells me that she is.)

There are good women in Thailand, and I have met some very happy Thai-Farang couples. I've been lucky enough to find an amazing boyfriend who keeps insisting on paying for things. But as with many developing nations, there are a lot of people looking for any path that they can find out of poverty, even if that path is at someone else's expense.

I wish you luck, Apostate, but I strongly suggest that you educate yourself.

Ron

[Jay1]

Hey guy, please don't be too put off by the huge number of cynics here. Most of them have been through the school of hard knocks, which you may or may not be about to enter. The trouble with their advice is that their bad experiences have outweighed the good. I have run the gamut of experiences here and have ended up happy, seriously happy, for a number of years now. I've also been screwed over in just about all the other ways at one point or another . . . live and learn. The reason most guys are attracted to the women here is that there truly is something different going on, and it does have potential that's very hard to find elsewhere. So just keep your eyes open, but have courage. Go for it, and good luck. If it doesn't work out, you've learned something. Be prepared to be disappointed, but try to take away something positive. If the chemistry's right, and you're VERY lucky, you might have something really cool this very first time. But be prepared to come down from your high. Just don't let the bastards grind you down. Some of the finest women I've met in the world have been women with stories similar to yours. The cynics will scoff at that, but it's as true as anything I know. And I've been around Thailand a lot longer than practically anyone on this board. Seriously. My regret is that I had to choose only one, but that's how it goes in this life, can't really get away with more than that.

With all due respect mate, this ain't a case of being cynical and it certainly isn't a case of something positive may come out of this (apart from getting a good screw).

The facts as stated by the op himself are as follows:

-more gorgeous than could get back home

-Slept together first date

-just the word pattaya

-Asked to send money

-young son who lives with her parents out in the sticks

There is no maybe about it, the minute he gave her money without hardly knowing her means it's already doomed!

And again, with all due respect, I couldn't give a damn how long you've been here.. Because in this case it's completely irrelevant! I lived in England for 30 years (home country) does that mean i am more qualified to identify an English hoe than someone who is a foriegner in England? I think not. A hoe is a hoe

Edit: minor addition

Edited March 18, 2016 by Jay1

[naboo]

Buy her a house, buy her "brother" who doesn't look like her (but looks surprisingly like her kids) a new pick up, and she will love you in a very special way.

Pay in advance for her kids international education as well. Ultimately, they're your kids as well, so its a good investment.

[TJR4ASR]

She will try to bleed you dry.keep yourwwallet close and bone her all the time. She is isaan? I bet.

[bbbbooboo]

Lol .....change your nic to "Aprostate"

[uthaithanirules]

<blockquote class='ipsBlockquote'data-author="peterb17" data-cid="10544528" data-time="1458306793">peterb17, on 19 Mar 2016 - 00:13, said:<p><p>Also very good evidence that half of us will end up with cancer pretty much no matter what we do epsecially around mid 60s.That its mostly about how well cells copy after the umpteenth time, and a certain element of random chance once the end of those rna strands start to dissapear...independant of all external factors.That is, for some of us, throat or lung cancer are just the first ones to appear....and that if you go your whole life not eating pussy or smoking...you will still have a high chance of getting some other dumb cancer

[uthaithanirules]

How many falangs are there though that hook up with a thai girl, have a kid or just get bored, then disappear.

I suspect a lot of these guys just make up excuses for how evil she is, although every time they flew over to meet her snuck in a couple days in pattaya first, she knew this. The family knew where she worked, they are not that dumb, they know what pattaya is, thus the family knew what you are.

Why does she have the secret thai boyfriend? Becuase she doesnt believe any falang is going to give a crap about her past 30.

I also dont believe for a second Thais are the best to be objective about their own culture, with some things they have been brainwashed since they were young, and thus are totally clueless in some respects.

And there are still certain laws of nature you cant escape, no matter where you are, no matter what the wealth ratio is. Money comes first it always does, but you still have to shag them properly, if for no other reason than to cut down the mood swing. And if you are one of several part time buffalo, there is still one she is going to prefer over the others, likely the one thats the least drunken controlling dbag.

Falang or thai, male or female, you cant really trust anything anyone says

With the thai boyfriend, its not the regular one you may see that you really have to worry about. Like everywhere else in the world, its that 1 in 100 guys, the one that all the girls want to shag, the one no guys ever see, thats the one you have to watch out for

[overherebc]

Hope you took precautions during your stay.

Can you still buy Industrial strength condoms ???????

[Straight8]

Oh Dear --------------------------------Another one . !

Please fellow members be kind and do not tell him what is coming, he will not believe you.

Best the OP discovers Thailand for himself.

Come on spill the beans! I want to know how these things normally pan out. What's her next move!?

This basically gave it away...TROLL ALERT!!

[Straight8]

Wow, havent been on these forums long, but wow there are some bitter guys here

Don't worry, we can tell!!!

[Kiwiken]

But to add to what I posted earlier. Like many I have been on the merry go round but on the other side I have met plenty of People happy and in good relationships. Like anywhere it is a game and sometimes you win. Maybe you are lucky but be always be wary

[jacko45k]

What to expect.... some major heart wrenching event at home that separates you from a chunk of money other than and as well as the monthly sponsorship.

Papa gets sick (read mama or child)

Someone has a motorcycle accident.

Rice crop fails due to drought.

She needs a new phone.

[willyumiii]

[uthaithanirules]

Go to the Stickman Bangkok website and you'll get a pretty good idea.

I went and had a read.

Pretty much all stories written by supposedly superior regular thai girls go along these lines....

- I wanted my falang boyfriend to show respect to my family by taking 20 of them out to dinner and paying for all of them, he got cross, I cant understand why

- I wanted to make sure he respects me, we havent had sex yet in 6 months, I went out with my friends came back to the apartment, he wasnt there, he got back at 3am, he'd been to a go go bar...all falangs are whore chasers

- Im so superior to all Isaan girls, Im rascist and dont even listen to myself talk

- We go out with my friends and speak Thai all night, he gets bored, I cant understand why

- We always do what I want to do, not what he wants to do, he got very disrespectful to me and my family, I dumped him, married a nice asian man (translation- she got too old for any falang to give a crap, he worked out its only 1000 baht a pop for younger, hotter girls with less silly hang up, asian guy some dwebe that hands over all his pay)

That is, same kind of crap you get from western woman.

Geez

[whiterussian]

If she washed your underpants by hand, it means true love... not even Thai men get such treatment. Farang are special.

[Balance]

The biggest problem is that Thai women employ a strategy that I call "extraction by small withdrawals." It is also very difficult to find out what her and her families finances are; what is their income. The second difficulty, related to the first sentence is to get a clear statement of her financial expections from you. If you have a lot of money, it does not matter much what this is so don't worry about it. if you do not have a lot of money, you need to know. Setting aside the sick buffalo that needs treatment, the most ubiquitous need/request is getting you to build them a house. In the countryside this could cost from $30,000 to $60,000, including the land. The next is help for her parents, brothers and sisters, cousins (loosely defined), etc. You need to be clear about the total amount of support you can and are willing to provide and do not backtrack. My wife's family has more money than I do so it never came up.

Best of luck.

[bgrassboy]

What is it they say? when you go home,you dont miss your girlfriend,you miss your turn.

I heard it was "you never lose a Thai gf, you just have to wait your turn"

[Khon Kaen Dave]

Same,same

[jadee]

Take the negative replies with a grain of salt, the main reason they reply is for their own amusement.

The parents live in rural Thailand, means the immediate family had been previously surviving on at most 10,000 baht a month

Never ever buy any rural land, its worthless as an investment.

Likely she is able to rent some land from a family member foras liitle as 1000 baht a month, 300 baht a month in some cases.

Dont get sucked into any start up business idea for more than 20,000 baht. Ducks or buffalo or whatever, get them to start off small and have the family prove they will work there asses of for it, more likely, the brothers wont - work 3 days a week and sit around eating and drinking whiskey the rest of the time.

Pretty much just ask yourself everytime - have much would all this cost me back home, 3,4 times the amount, 10 even 20 times the amount once you factor in real estate

That's a brilliant post, well put. Everything you wrote is accurate, especially your point about the rural land - I think this point more than others is less obvious to us foreigners. I had an Australian friend who spent 3+ million baht building his wife a house in Surin, in north-east Thailand. He explained that were he to sell, buyers would only pay what the land was worth as rural land, quite a grim situation but obviously only an issue if you want to sell!

[neverdie]

I wonder how many women were on the OP's list to meet with?

I wonder if he met all of those women on his list, if the same thing would of happened. With each of them?

What are the odds?

[khunpa]

OP you should first of all ignore all the negative comments here. They are just jealous because you found the "special" and "different" one.

In the months to come you should expect the following:

- Mother is sick and needs hospital bills paid.

- Brother has motorbike accident and needs help to solve that.

- Buffalo get sick and need a vet.

- Sisters kids needs help with school money.

- Girlfriends son needs help with school money too.

- and the list goes on....

Since she is the one, then of course you should help her out. Next time you come to Thailand, you can then both visit her home village and plan where to build the new house. You will be so happy!

Best of luck. Sounds like you hit gold!