Maintaining An Online Identity.

[Fabricus]

I always try to keep my comments brief here on ThaiVisa and elsewhere. That way, people have often finished reading my comments before they realize that they wished that they hadn't read them.

The thing that always makes me laugh is when people write:

Well that's four minutes of my life I'll never get back

..... and then spend five more minutes writing tedious crap about the tedious crap they've just wasted four minutes reading.

[JLCrab]

I think online identities for some are very valuable because they can write at length as to what wonderful persons that they are instead of going into therapy and buying 50 minutes of a psychiatrist's time to tell the shrink what wonderful persons that they think they are especially when they set up their own blogs to write at length as to what wonderful persons that they think they are with photos galore of their wonderful life.

[benalibina]

I think online identities for some are very valuable because they can write at length as to what wonderful persons that they are instead of going into therapy and buying 50 minutes of a psychiatrist's time to tell the shrink what wonderful persons that they think they are especially when they set up their own blogs to write at length as to what wonderful persons that they think they are with photos galore of their wonderful life.

To quote the OP; Thank you, this is exactly what this thread is about.

[geronimo]

Online forums are part of the evolution of human behaviour, which has changed beyond recognition since the Internet arrived. While many of us like to be ourselves and are not particularly bothered how others take that, there are those people who, for one reason or another, feel the need to try to be something they are not. An anonymous forum allows people to say what they want, without the social barriers that a face to face holds. If you read between the lines on TV, it is quite easy to see who is worth talking to.

[canuckamuck]

i am not quite sure exactly what this thread is about, but it made me think about me and my Thai Visa. presence.

Since coming to Thailand I have developed the habit of stopping trying to be understood by foreigners I meet here.Ii seems most never let me finish a thought in a conversation. I seldom get to get my point across. When people interrupt me and do not let me finish I just think you rude son of a bitch why waste my time with you,we are not talking you are dictating. I found it really to be a strong trait with the britishSo I write most people like that off and stop giving them the time of day. I now have few people I talk with.

On thai visa I found a new freedom of expression.I can state things as full as I like and finish a thought.I can also go back to verify what I stated.If I have something to say here I can say it as long as I keep with in rules of course. So I am different here than in public. Here I can finish a thought. I can also just as easy ignore the trolls (I think that is the right word). Can avoid being baited into things.

So yes I am different in real life than here. The only thing about me that is the same is I will say what I feel ( when given the opportunity) like saying and keep it simple by keeping it true.With people who give me respect and have true conversations I am the same as here, all others do not even get the chance.

Excellent post.

[sipi]

I look nothing like my avitar but my posts are genuine.

Who wants to befriend someone who looks like an ape with his arms dragging along the ground and 666 tattood across his forehead?

[villagefarang]

I am not very interested in how well someone can quote or copy and paste the work of others. If you can’t be bothered to pen your own thoughts then I can’t be bothered to read your post.

[JLCrab]

... and while some can pen their own thought at great length to explain why things have worked out so well for them, for others it doesn't take much:

[villagefarang]

Whereas I am quite capable of engaging in a conversation with almost anyone, that doesnt mean I always get something out of it. Some people are more interesting, intelligent, articulate, experienced, charming and inspiring than others.

An elderly foreigner retired in a rural Thai village is unlikely to be of interest to many people.

I not knocking you personally, it's just most old men don't understand how dull they have become.

Ben Bartanui would probably be much better company on a boys night out.

I agree that the elderly foreigners I meet in Chiang Rai seem very old indeed, not very current and fearful of anything new. That is why we stay in touch with our Bangkok friends who are still working, traveling and living interesting lives.

I have never liked boys nights out and find women much better company and better conversationalists. One of my friends when I was single was a former Miss Thailand finalist. Sure some of her model friends were complete snobs but she had led and amazing life, had great people skills and had some remarkable insights on that world she was part of. I miss those long conversations but sadly she got mixed up with the wrong crowd and was killed.

[BookMan]

I've found a number of people I have met in person are unlike their Thaivisa identity. Online gives them the opportunity to polish and hone their presentation and appear online as something they are not in person

[canuckamuck]

I don't know if I make some sort of conscious effort to distinguish my online persona from my everyday one. I am conscious of keeping private things private, but that is just good sense.

The best thing about forums is the level playing field and the anonymity. For many people, who are not loud overbearing extroverts, forums are a rare opportunity to make your full point.

This is a double advantage here in Thailand, where communication seems so fatally handicapped, regardless of whether or not you speak the language.

If we need information about anything, my wife asks me check on a forum because she can never get clear information in this country, despite being born here.

[JLCrab]

My modus operandi these days comes from the longtime San Francisco radio comedian and phony news show host 'Scoop' Nisker who ended his show with:

" ... And if you don't like the news ... go out and make some of your own."

That's what I hope to do without the concern of what others do with their lives whether their lives are interesting or not.

Edited April 18, 2016 by JLCrab

[Fabricus]

I've found a number of people I have met in person are unlike their Thaivisa identity. Online gives them the opportunity to polish and hone their presentation and appear online as something they are not in person

You can usually gauge people's intelligence from what they write. It's quite easy to spot pseudo-intellectuals and pretentious bores, for example.

I often see undiagnosed depression on this forum, too.

[NanLaew]

i am not quite sure exactly what this thread is about, but it made me think about me and my Thai Visa. presence.

Since coming to Thailand I have developed the habit of stopping trying to be understood by foreigners I meet here.Ii seems most never let me finish a thought in a conversation. I seldom get to get my point across. When people interrupt me and do not let me finish I just think you rude son of a bitch why waste my time with you,we are not talking you are dictating. I found it really to be a strong trait with the britishSo I write most people like that off and stop giving them the time of day. I now have few people I talk with.

On thai visa I found a new freedom of expression.I can state things as full as I like and finish a thought.I can also go back to verify what I stated.If I have something to say here I can say it as long as I keep with in rules of course. So I am different here than in public. Here I can finish a thought. I can also just as easy ignore the trolls (I think that is the right word). Can avoid being baited into things.

So yes I am different in real life than here. The only thing about me that is the same is I will say what I feel ( when given the opportunity) like saying and keep it simple by keeping it true.With people who give me respect and have true conversations I am the same as here, all others do not even get the chance.

Thank you, this is exactly what this thread is about.

So it's about identifying someone as they really are, or in the case of those that are naturally unassertive in public, someone that they aspire to be? Maybe it's not so much the identity that matters as much as having a presence which I think is pretty much the same online or in public. For example, when lovelomsak gets over talked over by a boorish Brit, he clams up and only thinks 'you rude son of a bitch'. The boor has won. Having presence means being able to hold up a hand and say, 'Let me finish...' rather than just shutting down and letting them think that their opinion has more sway. But I have to agree that in most cases when confronted with someone with overbearing opinions in a social setting, it's equally easy to ignore them as it is to use the 'ignore' function on these pages.

[harrry]

What disapoints me about this post is not that BangkokFarang has merged into VillageFarang but the sad comment that there is a derth of interesting people around here to have conversations with. I have met VF and he is an extremely nice person as I am sure many of the other people in the community are if we only talk to them. Sadly few of us do and live with the communication on forums. People here are real people too. VillageFarang is able to get about the community and I am sure there are many people here that his life experiences would enrich as would theirs him. Sadly I am unable to move about freely but I still think that many in the community would be well worth talking to.

Sorry to disappoint you Harrry but we simply don’t agree on this subject. I have great sympathy for your situation but it doesn't change my personal point of view.

Whereas I am quite capable of engaging in a conversation with almost anyone, that doesn’t mean I always get something out of it. Some people are more interesting, intelligent, articulate, experienced, charming and inspiring than others.

Instead of trying to appease the lowest common denominator by telling them how wonderful they are, I would rather be around people who are extraordinary and challenge one to dream or open doors into new realms previously unexplored. I have some Thai friends who are like that but no farang friends in Chiang Rai that fill that bill. Sure it is nice to say hello and chat in one’s own language but it is little more than civility and a social nicety.

It is clearly a more populist view to say people are people and we are all the same but that simply has not been my experience in life. People are all different and some really are much more interesting than others, especially after having spoken with them.

No sympahy needed VF. I have a rewarding life as it is. It may be richer if I could get about and talk to people but it is quite rich enough.

By the way the definition of share is:

a : to partake of, use, experience, occupy, or enjoy with othersb : to have in common <they share a passion for opera>

I guess if you have little in common with people you have little to share.

[villagefarang]

What disapoints me about this post is not that BangkokFarang has merged into VillageFarang but the sad comment that there is a derth of interesting people around here to have conversations with. I have met VF and he is an extremely nice person as I am sure many of the other people in the community are if we only talk to them. Sadly few of us do and live with the communication on forums. People here are real people too. VillageFarang is able to get about the community and I am sure there are many people here that his life experiences would enrich as would theirs him. Sadly I am unable to move about freely but I still think that many in the community would be well worth talking to.

Sorry to disappoint you Harrry but we simply don’t agree on this subject. I have great sympathy for your situation but it doesn't change my personal point of view.

Whereas I am quite capable of engaging in a conversation with almost anyone, that doesn’t mean I always get something out of it. Some people are more interesting, intelligent, articulate, experienced, charming and inspiring than others.

Instead of trying to appease the lowest common denominator by telling them how wonderful they are, I would rather be around people who are extraordinary and challenge one to dream or open doors into new realms previously unexplored. I have some Thai friends who are like that but no farang friends in Chiang Rai that fill that bill. Sure it is nice to say hello and chat in one’s own language but it is little more than civility and a social nicety.

It is clearly a more populist view to say people are people and we are all the same but that simply has not been my experience in life. People are all different and some really are much more interesting than others, especially after having spoken with them.

No sympahy needed VF. I have a rewarding life as it is. It may be richer if I could get about and talk to people but it is quite rich enough.

By the way the definition of share is:

a : to partake of, use, experience, occupy, or enjoy with othersb : to have in common <they share a passion for opera>

I guess if you have little in common with people you have little to share.

Share has several meanings, like using or enjoying things with others. How about telling someone about something or to post something on social media for others to appreciate. You see something or do something interesting and then share that experience with others by telling them about it or perhaps showing them pictures. You may have more to share with someone who has had different experiences in life.

Edited April 18, 2016 by villagefarang

[HooHaa]

I also find it interesting that no matter how popular and respected you are or how carefully you choose your words, there will be those who come to despise you, twisting everything you say and do to fit their personal bias.

Sometimes the hate of a few can send people to the exit in search of respite and that always saddens me. I have actually stuck around because I have no desire to let those negative individuals rule ThaiVisa. Someone needs to present a more balanced view of Thailand to counter the naysayers who dump on Thailand at every turn.

personally, i find your postings fatuous and overwrought unless you are talking about something neutral like cycling.

I would hope that you are quite different in real life.

[villagefarang]

i am not quite sure exactly what this thread is about, but it made me think about me and my Thai Visa. presence.

Since coming to Thailand I have developed the habit of stopping trying to be understood by foreigners I meet here.Ii seems most never let me finish a thought in a conversation. I seldom get to get my point across. When people interrupt me and do not let me finish I just think you rude son of a bitch why waste my time with you,we are not talking you are dictating. I found it really to be a strong trait with the britishSo I write most people like that off and stop giving them the time of day. I now have few people I talk with.

On thai visa I found a new freedom of expression.I can state things as full as I like and finish a thought.I can also go back to verify what I stated.If I have something to say here I can say it as long as I keep with in rules of course. So I am different here than in public. Here I can finish a thought. I can also just as easy ignore the trolls (I think that is the right word). Can avoid being baited into things.

So yes I am different in real life than here. The only thing about me that is the same is I will say what I feel ( when given the opportunity) like saying and keep it simple by keeping it true.With people who give me respect and have true conversations I am the same as here, all others do not even get the chance.

Thank you, this is exactly what this thread is about.

So it's about identifying someone as they really are, or in the case of those that are naturally unassertive in public, someone that they aspire to be? Maybe it's not so much the identity that matters as much as having a presence which I think is pretty much the same online or in public. For example, when lovelomsak gets over talked over by a boorish Brit, he clams up and only thinks 'you rude son of a bitch'. The boor has won. Having presence means being able to hold up a hand and say, 'Let me finish...' rather than just shutting down and letting them think that their opinion has more sway. But I have to agree that in most cases when confronted with someone with overbearing opinions in a social setting, it's equally easy to ignore them as it is to use the 'ignore' function on these pages.

It is about looking at and evaluating your own relationship with the internet and your online identity, whatever that might be. It is not a competition and there is no correct answer or prize to win. You just look in the mirror and see what is there.

[villagefarang]

I also find it interesting that no matter how popular and respected you are or how carefully you choose your words, there will be those who come to despise you, twisting everything you say and do to fit their personal bias.

Sometimes the hate of a few can send people to the exit in search of respite and that always saddens me. I have actually stuck around because I have no desire to let those negative individuals rule ThaiVisa. Someone needs to present a more balanced view of Thailand to counter the naysayers who dump on Thailand at every turn.

personally, i find your postings fatuous and overwrought unless you are talking about something neutral like cycling.

I would hope that you are quite different in real life.

In that case I can almost guarantee we would not enjoy each other's company. But there is nothing wrong with that and probably saves us both some time.

[laolover88]

Really just comes down to:

:

"Who do you think you are?"

I don't care. I can be anyone I want every minute.

[CharlieH]

“No man, for any considerable period, can wear one face to himself and another to the multitude, without finally getting bewildered as to which may be the true.”
― Nathaniel Hawthorne, The Scarlet Letter

“The irony of life is that those who wear masks often tell us more truths than those with open faces.”

― Marie Lu, The Rose Society

[villagefarang]

I would guess, if being honest, some would say they pick random numbers or letters and use throwaway emails because they figure they won’t last long anyway.

[laolover88]

And there is Ted Hughes: Lovesong. Last line

In the morning they wore each other's face

Or you could have that great Poet of mirrors R.S.Thomas. Google R.S.Thomas Mirrors:

" Here the mirror acts the part of echo, ironically returning to the looker a look very different from that which he intended to see.

"

Edited April 18, 2016 by laolover88

[canuckamuck]

I also find it interesting that no matter how popular and respected you are or how carefully you choose your words, there will be those who come to despise you, twisting everything you say and do to fit their personal bias.

Sometimes the hate of a few can send people to the exit in search of respite and that always saddens me. I have actually stuck around because I have no desire to let those negative individuals rule ThaiVisa. Someone needs to present a more balanced view of Thailand to counter the naysayers who dump on Thailand at every turn.

personally, i find your postings fatuous and overwrought unless you are talking about something neutral like cycling.

I would hope that you are quite different in real life.

I disagree, I think VF works hard to encourage positive and useful conversations here. I met him once, he seemed to be the same person.

[BookMan]

Not many people have the ability to view themselves as others see them

[villagefarang]

“No man, for any considerable period, can wear one face to himself and another to the multitude, without finally getting bewildered as to which may be the true.”

― Nathaniel Hawthorne, The Scarlet Letter

“The irony of life is that those who wear masks often tell us more truths than those with open faces.”

― Marie Lu, The Rose Society

“Man is least himself when he talks in his own person. Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth.”― Oscar Wilde

I think Oscar set the standard for that quote. But I think it had more to do with theater and may not hold as much truth on the internet.

Edited April 18, 2016 by villagefarang

[JLCrab]

Not many people have the ability to view themselves as others see them

Why would anybody want to view themselves as others see them when there is an IGNORE button?

Edited April 18, 2016 by JLCrab

[sipi]

Do we ever really know each other, even the ones we have known in the flesh for years?

I was at the funeral of a friend I have known for ages the other week.

"Henry was a gifted piano tuner, and he joined the circus and trained as a trapeze acrobat...." (complete with a projected visual display of photos)

Really, I never knew that.

[geronimo]

There are those who are happy with their lives, and those who are not. From my personal observations, it seems the latter group is in the majority. I have always been a great believer in PMA, you can literally be what you want to be, if you know what to do and do it with determination, coupled the knowledge that you will succeed.

Life is all about choices and choices are based on perceptions. My signature says it all.

[CharlieH]

off topic removed.