Moving Home- 2 yrs on

[JHolmesJr]

Nice…wish you luck and more happiness.

[performance]

Best of luck 

2000 a month you got off light lol.

[KBsinter]

NICE,enjoyed it alot best wish"s to you and your family.

[Tug]

My wife of 30+years has assimilated well was a bit rough fore  about 6 months our daughter is thriving we raised our family here it can be done I would find the local temple so she can have thai friends soon I will be retiring then it will be my turn to learn to live in a foreign country!best of luck blessings! Tug

[formerfarang]

2 hours ago, Phaeton said:

Thank you for write up. Very interesting. Sounds like a great adventure for both of you. Appreciate your honesty a lot.

 

Anything you would do differently? For example I've read that there are "village weddings" in Thailand that are ceremonies, but legally don't mean anything. What kind of wedding did you have here? And was that accepted for you guys in the UK?

 

Thanks for the replies all. Some cant do it, some can, and a perfect life for one, would be a nightmare for others, I appreciate that. 

A couple of replies. Above, no I dont think I would have done anything differently, just perhaps had one more kid with my wife when i was a bit younger as we are considering extending the family now ! Approaching mid forties, I'm apprehensive, but You cant have it all.

Yes, there are village weddings, and it all depends on the expectations of the wife and her family as to how big or expensive that can be. I have always felt that you, as the farang husband, should always hold the trump card there and not let it get out of hand, but unfortunately for some guys,  thats not always the case. Depends on what sort of person you are, and what sort of family you are marrying into. Set you stall out early and dont be a push over I think is pretty good advice. Firm but fair. 

Our wedding was just us, and a witness, at a registry/office  in Bangkok, which cost wise really was next to nothing. The next day we had some documents translated and had it rubber stamped at the  British Embassy. I really cant recall the cost, but it wasn't  a great deal in 2006. We have always used these documents as proof of our marriage and they were accepted in Thailand for marriage visas, buying property, registering births etc, and also accepted by the UK for passports, birth certificates, proof of marriage etc. 

For the guys who slate the bar girl angle, you expect that, horses for courses. I made a number of Expat friends in Thailand, and 90% of their wives/girlfriends were ex-bar girls. Most, I must say, were nuts to be honest, and I couldnt have been in a relationship with them, but they appeared happy, so we all tolerated each other, and had more good times together as a group than bad. 

I have met some Thai wives here in the UK, and some dont take long to get itchy feet and look elsewhere. This can happen in any relationship though, and Ive had more British mates that have been shat on by their British wife than guys I know with Thai wives. Thai wives doing the dirty get stereotyped and type cast from day one, so are in for abuse as soon as it goes wrong. Some guys just marry the wrong Thai girl too, you just need a bit of luck there. 

My wife was a bar girl, and as one guy pointed out, was pretty young. She had been working less than 6 months. Not ideal, but the way it is. We are now at a stage in our lives where we are happy. I have no interest in any other women, which is another small reason I decided to leave. If I did start a relationship with another woman, I know my wife would leave me. That's where we are at the moment, and i'm comfortable with that. 

As for being in the UK, the best thing about living here is the seasons. My wife never wants to live in Thailand again, she says, because its just too bloody hot. No other reason, and also enjoys the weather changes here. Its nice to sit by the fire in winter months. Its great hearing carol singers and watching the kids faces Christmas morning. It was great watching them playing in the snow for the first time, or taking them to a Santas grotto. Its great at Easter time, or Haloween trick or treating. Its great taking them to shows, to London, to the football, and so many kids orientated activities and watch their faces light up. Its basically great doing all the things you can remember as you try and replicate all the best things from your own childhood with them. They would have been happy in Thailand, no doubt, but wouldnt have the life experiences or education they are receiving here. You cant put a price on that. 

 

[JAFO]

Good post and Thanks for sharing FormerFarang.  My wife and I met and agreed absolutely no children which makes living here  in TL easy. We met here and she quit her very good job and took a chance to go to the US with me to visit.  As luck would have it during the visit, I was contacted by a longtime colleague to join his start up company to run business operations. We discussed it and decided to get married and stay in the US until she got her citizenship. Once she did shortly after an employment opportunity was offered to me and we immediately moved back to Thailand to our beautiful house we built up North.  Again our decisions were very easy as no children. Interestingly my wife didn't really like the US (California).  Said it was outrageously expensive and she said who wants to work until they die to live here, it's nice  but not that nice   Now in fairness I am working in Thailand for more then I made in the US and reduced my COL by nearly 80%.  For us its a HUGE win/win.

 

But to the OPs point, children change everything.  Good and bad. Lots of compromises and sacrifices.  

 

You are good man OP.

[ray richards]

Well done my friend,im trying to do exactly the same thing,me & my girlfriend have been in a genuine relationship for over 3 yrs,she came back with me to England on a general visitors visa for 3 months to see if she liked it? she really enjoyed the English lifestyle & she would love to stay in England with me but i think the visa is a problem?? would it be any easier if we got married? then we are hoping to live in u.k & just have the occasional holiday in Thailand.

Any suggestions to which would be the easiest way??

I am a 70 yr old male,my girlfriend is a fantastic lady of 45 yrs old.

[formerfarang]

10 minutes ago, ray richards said:

Well done my friend,im trying to do exactly the same thing,me & my girlfriend have been in a genuine relationship for over 3 yrs,she came back with me to England on a general visitors visa for 3 months to see if she liked it? she really enjoyed the English lifestyle & she would love to stay in England with me but i think the visa is a problem?? would it be any easier if we got married? then we are hoping to live in u.k & just have the occasional holiday in Thailand.

Any suggestions to which would be the easiest way??

I am a 70 yr old male,my girlfriend is a fantastic lady of 45 yrs old.

 

Hi ray. There are so many options open to you, and would be wrong of me to start listing them here, as I wouldnt get that completely right. When we relocated I always looked at the posts in the Migration to other countries forums, and in articular the section that is linked below. It really can be a drawn out process, that takes time and effort to muddle through, but if you're pretty organised and dont mind a bit of head scratching, its not too bad.

 

 

[Aussieroaming]

Good interesting post..cheers.

[The manic]

9 hours ago, theguyfromanotherforum said:

Most people don't like prostituting themselves.

We are all prostitutes. We all sell ourselves. Grow up and judge yourself not others.

[theguyfromanotherforum]

3 minutes ago, The manic said:

We are all prostitutes. We all sell ourselves. Grow up and judge yourself not others.

 

Speak for yourself.

[theguyfromanotherforum]

2 minutes ago, The manic said:

We are all prostitutes. Some people just won't admit it or don't realise it. 

 

OK. I'll pay you fifty bucks.

[55Jay]

A rare, nice post, OP.  Thanks.

[sirineou]

6 hours ago, phinick said:

My experience is just the opposite.  My wife and I were married and immediately moved to the U.S. (Las Vegas).  A bit of a cultural shock, but she adapted well, made Thai friends, got a job,, driver's license, and car.

A year after her arrival, we returned to Issan to get her 3 kids and bring them to the U.S.  As time went by they all learned to speak perfect English, and became citizens.

Eight years later I started having a large house built in my wife's village for the day I was no longer around, (there is a 30 yr difference in our ages).

We got almost weekly photos of the progress of the house, and then decided to relocate and retire in Thailand. We liquidated everything and my wife, 14 yr old step son and I came to Issan.  The other 2 kids were now legally adults, and chose to stay in America.

Although the boy came here as a Thai who only spoke English, he has done quite well now in school, I worry about keeping him from a better education,  At this point however, I could not afford to relocate all of us back.  I love living here, but if I had it to do over, I would not have built in a village, but near a city.

My marriage has turned out quite well, my wife now sees her family every day, and yesterday we celebrated our 10th anniversary.

 

Some what similar story, we dont have kids

Living here in the US for about seven years now, wife loves it , is a US citizen , has her own car, and own a business, made many Thai friend, but by now only relates with one, too much drama with all the others, we come to Thailand where we own property every year. wife is there now, I am in the US working 

I will be retiring in three years, and we will give Thailand an other try, but I am not selling my american house. After living and getting used to the US , I don't think my wife will be happy there long term, especially after her parents pass away. Also aside from the fact that we might not be willing to put up with the "intricacies" of Thailand, I know that when I get older I might need to come back to the US to have access to my medical insurance.

Congratulations to the OP, I know a few Americans here in the US married to Thai ladies, and they all seem to have similar stories as you, no marriage is with out problems , but they all seem to be very happy.

My Thai wife is the best thing that ever happen to me.

 

 

[212Roger]

9 hours ago, louse1953 said:

If i go there do they have hotel.

"You can checkout, but you can never leave."

[Top man]

12 hours ago, thai3 said:

 

Far more such relationships end up in divorce though, the odds are against it working, but good luck to the ones where it has.

I would also like to see your statistics for your comment. I know  many that have gone back and been very  happy. Difference is the op is speaking honestly though TV. 

[free123]

great success story hope it continiuos that way for you and ur family....

 

the susal story goes more like this

mostly thai ex prosts <deleted> up in europe dump the guy as soon as they have the permanent resident or pp...empty the accounts sell the house if they can manage and back to thailand with the new gik....many are brainless loosers raped in cildhood from theyr brothers or fathers their smile is false to get money out of farang men...

[Dagnabbit]

14 hours ago, Agent Sumo said:

Married a bargirl?

 

Took her back to his country??

 

Brave

 

She's just a woman now, not a bargirl.

 

I was a petrol pump attendant when I was 16 but that doesn't mean I am one now.

 

Edited September 3, 2016 by Dagnabbit

[alwaysrainsinUK]

Our story much the same as your own .We came back  for the UK schooling for our daughter been back now 5 yrs and we absolutely <deleted> hate the UK with a passion ......

    Wife runs 2 shops works really hard brings in good money but then theres all the bills and your left with <deleted> all. pay pay pay ,its not worth it .

    Living costs back in the UK are crazy and the NHS is a joke (dont get sick in the UK)

   The weather is just pathetic rain rain rain.

   Plus im a stock trader an the CGT is a killer even tho i trade an ISA also .

 

We miss the weather and the food an relaxed lifestyle an growing stuff in the garden all yr round... Moving back asap

[bkk_mike]

Moved back a few years ago (also for the kids....)

Although we did it a bit later as they'd been in International School up to that point. It was to get them resident in the EU long enough to qualify for things like student loans as although I could "just" afford International school for 3 kids - I knew I wouldn't have been able to afford to pay international fees for University for 3 kids (although with the drop in the pound since the Brexit vote - it would have been a lot closer to doable than I thought).

 

As with the OP - we had an easier time moving back to the UK as we hadn't sold the house when we moved out to Thailand (we lived in the UK for a couple of years first - my wife got her ILR back before you had to pay for it... - but then my wife lived in London when we met, and moving to Thailand only became an idea a couple of years after we were married and had a child together). We also didn't sell the house in Thailand, so once we retire, I can see us doing summers in the UK, and winters in Thailand - at least while we're able enough to do that...)

 

If I'd had the income - I think we'd have been better off staying in Thailand and letting the kids move back on their own to go to University (and pay the International fees and rental accommodation at the University). That's just because the kids seemed happier in Thailand (it's maybe that they'd been in the same school from nursery/reception, so had a lot of friends..., or that they miss their grandmother, or... I don't know... - They're doing fine academically, but state schools in the UK seem to have more "issues" with pupil behaviour than the International school in Thailand ever did.)

[GOLDBUGGY]

21 hours ago, Agent Sumo said:

Married a bargirl?

 

Took her back to his country??

 

Brave

Well it was not like he just met her in a bar and after a week he decided to marry her and bring her home to the UK, like some tend to try and do.. He has known her for 12 years and married to her for 10 years and in which they spent most of their time in Thailand. I am assuming she was not working in a bar all this time.

 

I know it is difficult for some here to realize that it is possible to marry a Bar Girl and still have a long and happy relationship with her, but it does happen a lot. It is just that the ones that do don't come here and talk about it much. So we only here from the ones who have problems. Nice to read a different positive post on this subject for a change.  

[Berkshire]

I can never understand what those like the OP means when he says "kids education" as being the primary reason for moving home.  University education and education in general isn't just about what's learned in the classroom, it's also about building a network and essentially how to excel in the society that you're in.  Which means that it's best for the kids to be educated in the country that they'll be living in.  If it's the UK, that's fine.  If Thailand, then that's where the bulk of their education should be, perhaps with some post-grad education overseas.  

 

So will his kids get the best education in the UK, relative to his peers?  If anything, I'd say raising your kids in the place where you'd have the highest standard of living is the way to go.  Regardless, good luck to the OP.

[lannarebirth]

3 minutes ago, Berkshire said:

I can never understand what those like the OP means when he says "kids education" as being the primary reason for moving home.  University education and education in general isn't just about what's learned in the classroom, it's also about building a network and essentially how to excel in the society that you're in.  Which means that it's best for the kids to be educated in the country that they'll be living in.  If it's the UK, that's fine.  If Thailand, then that's where the bulk of their education should be, perhaps with some post-grad education overseas.  

 

So will his kids get the best education in the UK, relative to his peers?  If anything, I'd say raising your kids in the place where you'd have the highest standard of living is the way to go.  Regardless, good luck to the OP.

 

I assume that to mean he can't or doesn't want to pay for international school, which is about the only decent education to be had in Thailand.

[GOLDBUGGY]

15 hours ago, theguyfromanotherforum said:

 

OK. I'll pay you fifty bucks.

Why not offer fifty thousand bucks and see what happens? The point being that everyone has a price.

 

Consider for a moment you were very rich and as rich as Bill Gates. Where One Million Dollars was only one tenth of your days wage that you earn on Dividends alone.  I think most people would agree that by offering One Million Dollars for one night, most women in the world would sleep with you for a night. Baring of course the rich women who don't need your money, and the obvious religious ones. 

 

So does that make almost every woman in the world a prostitute because they would except this generous offer?

 

 

[SaintLouisBlues]

2 minutes ago, GOLDBUGGY said:

I think most people would agree that by offering One Million Dollars for one night, most women in the world would sleep with you for a night. Baring of course the rich women who don't need your money, and the obvious religious ones. 

 

So does that make almost every woman in the world a prostitute because they would except this generous offer?

That is the classic definition of prostitution,so, yes, it does

[GOLDBUGGY]

34 minutes ago, SaintLouisBlues said:

That is the classic definition of prostitution,so, yes, it does

I agree with you and yes by definition it does mean that. Meaning everyone has a price.

 

But I do stand corrected in my statement.  I said most women would sleep with you for One Million Dollars. What I should have said most Women (and Men) would sleep with you for One Million Dollars. Even if they were not Gay! 

 

But somehow to me the word prostitute does quite fit in for a man who would do this, and like it does for a woman. Maybe because the men I knew who would do this were managers I knew, who got to the top by Bag Licking, and yet we never called him a prostitute. We called him a lot of other names behind his back, but never that. 

[Krataiboy]

On 03/09/2016 at 0:05 PM, Agent Sumo said:

 

 

Only on Thaivisa would you find knuckleheads that consider gainful employment as a teacher or a labourer to be on par with accommodating penises for a living.

1

 

I suppose it depends on what you mean by "on a par". All three jobs mentioned are gainful and provide a valuable service.

 

Why shouldn't an individual sell any part of their body they wish in order to make a living, providing they do so voluntarily? Pianists and singers do so with impunity and not a little admiration, as do footballers and fiddlers,

 

Unfortunately, we knuckleheads have not been informed whether your whorephobia is based upon moral, practical or legal grounds - or is simply the result of irrational fear and prejudice.

 

If the latter, I strongly  recommend a leisurely rub-down in the nearest soapy massage parlour - with the happiest of endings.

[Agent Sumo]

20 minutes ago, Krataiboy said:

 

I suppose it depends on what you mean by "on a par". All three jobs mentioned are gainful and provide a valuable service.

 

Why shouldn't an individual sell any part of their body they wish in order to make a living, providing they do so voluntarily? Pianists and singers do so with impunity and not a little admiration, as do footballers and fiddlers,

 

Unfortunately, we knuckleheads have not been informed whether your whorephobia is based upon moral, practical or legal grounds - or is simply the result of irrational fear and prejudice.

 

If the latter, I strongly  recommend a leisurely rub-down in the nearest soapy massage parlour - with the happiest of endings.

 

I have no objection to prostitution on any grounds. An individual should be able to sell any part of their own body to make a living.

 

My objection is to your asinine suggestion that doing so is conceptually comparable to earning a living selling one's aptitude as a teacher, a pianist or a vocalist.

 

Ask those women at your local soapy if they're proud of what they do; ask them if they'd be perfectly happy for their children to follow them into the same profession; ask them if they'd be selling their bodies to some old dinosaur for a few baht if they had an alternative that provided them with a similar income.

 

I'll bet you any money you over 90% would give a resounding "no".

 

Go ask the teacher, pianist or vocalist the same questions and come back to report your findings

 

What I find so amusing is the fact that you're obviously incredibly ashamed of what you do with these women and you're just trying to make yourself feel better by insinuating there isn't (or at least shouldn't be) any stigma attached to it. Sadly, for your conscience, there is.

 

If you use hookers, fine; be on the level about it. Stop trying to justify it in your little head

[4MyEgo]

22 hours ago, free123 said:

great success story hope it continiuos that way for you and ur family....

 

the susal story goes more like this

mostly thai ex prosts <deleted> up in europe dump the guy as soon as they have the permanent resident or pp...empty the accounts sell the house if they can manage and back to thailand with the new gik....many are brainless loosers raped in cildhood from theyr brothers or fathers their smile is false to get money out of farang men...

 

Always love a good story, man meets bar girl and they lived happily ever after.

 

Alas free123, an expert on Thai women has spoken.

 

The usual story would actually go something like this:

 

They don't end up in Europe dumping the guy as soon as they have permanent residency, emptying their accounts and sell the guys house, where are you getting your misleading information from, raped by their fathers and brothers, for crying out load mate, talk about generalisation at its best ! 

 

You only go on the information you want to hear, why not put in some good stories too ?

 

Women in general, including Thai women, would only fleece a guy if its in her nature, and if the guy is stupid enough to allow himself to be exposed financially, then well what can I say. If its not in her nature and the guy is not supporting her, or her family, is mistreating her, is possessive, has played up on her, or has broken some agreement, she might try to and fleece him for what is owed to her, people will do desperate things to survive and I know of a lot of Thai women who had been promised the earth and been given nothing but heart ache, once things change, the love starts to die. This happens in western partner/wife situations daily, ditched you at any time, if a woman is not happy and the guy cannot satisfy her as a female, you can work that out in whatever way you like, its all over, don't narrow it down to Thai bar girls. 

 

1st thing one must understand is that most Thai bar girls (refrain from using the word prostitute/s please), are uneducated and have made their way to BKK, Pattaya or Phuket to make money to send back to ma and pa, because things are and have been pretty tough back in Issan, just go there if you haven't been, it would be educational at the least, I have seen this 1st hand.

 

There are the hardcore bar girls and the not so hardcore bar girls, most bar girls know nothing about falangs, except that they pull out and blow the equivalent of a Thai's monthly salary on drinks in "one night", night after night, and stay in nice hotels with air conditioners, something these girls can only dream of, let alone afford to pay the electricity bill for an air conditioner if they had one, which they don't, not knowing that most falangs (newbies) are stretching their Mastercard/Visa etc etc, to beat their ego's, ringing the bell at the bar, look out Tarzan is a coming, they think these guys are loaded, so why not try and get some for themselves, they have never been exposed to this kind of behaviour before, after all, they are pissing it up the wall, so to speak, while most of these bar girls go without food or money for days on end.

 

It's one big circus, and everyone works together to fleece the falang for what he's worth, because he means nothing to them and he probably won't be seen again, don't believe me, just step out of your shoes next time your in a bar and play a watchful eye on the falangs, and the girls, and the ones behind the bar, the hardcore ones will go the jugular, the not so hardcore ones will look at getting a better life, selling themselves is not something they want to do, so please lighten up on the word prostitute/s, everybody sells their services everyday for money, so we are all prostitutes, bar girls offer a service for guys, so why put them down, its a fricken service, would you put a waitress down, or a taxi driver down for the service they provide you, what because the bar girl gives you pleasure for a period of time, you have to put them down, (she's a prostitute), FO, hope you feel good, no one should put anyone down, we are all here for a period of time and should treat one and other with respect, not stereotype each other, black/white/Indian/whatever,  if they had the choice, they wouldn't be doing it, like you, if you had a choice, you wouldn't work, but they have to look after their parent's, its the law of the land, and opportunities are very very very limited, especially in Issan, most of these not so hardcore ones have a good nature, and "hope" to meet Mr Falang to give him and her a better life, only to also be given false hope a lot of the times, its a viscous circle and unfortunately the guys that think with their hearts end up on the scrap heap, the ones that think with their heads 1st, gut 2nd, then allowing their hearts to come into play, "survive".

 

I personally have met hundreds of Thai bar girls, they are no different to any western women at a pub, actually they are easier to strike up a conversation with, because they accept that life dishes out crap and you have to shake it off and move forward, unlike most western women who carry their emotional baggage/wall up with them were ever they go.

 

So please think before you write, that way you would at least save me the trouble to try and correct you.

 

Respect

Edited September 4, 2016 by 4MyEgo

[4MyEgo]

On 03/09/2016 at 5:38 PM, Tug said:

My wife of 30+years has assimilated well was a bit rough fore  about 6 months our daughter is thriving we raised our family here it can be done I would find the local temple so she can have thai friends soon I will be retiring then it will be my turn to learn to live in a foreign country!best of luck blessings! Tug

 

Just make sure you speak to an accountant before you exit your country, as some countries don't like you leaving to retire overseas, e.g. have a cheaper life and take money out of the country, so they will tax you differently and or make you return for 2 years to get your old age pension, if you qualify.

 

Might best start reading some forums here on immigrating, because your life will change for sure, and be prepared for the hot ones.

 

Good luck, if I can give you an insight, let me know, just message me