JJGreen Posted October 2, 2016 Share Posted October 2, 2016 (edited) I find this anomaly interesting Expats who are careful with their spending are disparagingly referred to as being a ‘cheap ass’ or ‘tight’ with their money; using the term about another is viewing them unfavorably Yet, when speaking of Thai partners, their exact same carefulness with money is seen as a massively positive trait; something to proudly tell others about. Why the difference in attitudes when it comes to gender? Are farang guys expected to be more free spending and reckless with their spending? Both the man and woman are showing caution with their spending so why is one derided and one celebrated? Edited October 3, 2016 by metisdead Profanity removed from topic title. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
piersbeckett Posted October 2, 2016 Share Posted October 2, 2016 1. I don't think it's gender related. 2. Yes. 3. Because foreigners have a reputation for wasting money particularly in beer bars where Thai 'girls' normally take advantage of them. There's also the 'provider' thing; a good provider isn't tight and a good person that is provided for is not wasteful so as one, to impress the provider i.e. to show that his/her providing is not in vain and two in so doing to keep the provision coming. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shadmo63 Posted October 2, 2016 Share Posted October 2, 2016 Spot on, but one is an outside perspective looking at you, and the other is your perspective looking at your partner. I don't think these perceptions are any different in any country. Generosity is usually a valued trait, as is being a frugal wife. I think what is more important is having a similar attitude to money as your partner. If one is tight and one spends freely there will be friction, especially if she is the one spending your money freely. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tifino Posted October 2, 2016 Share Posted October 2, 2016 you will never win. - spend, give and donate all you have, and what do you get hit with next... "you got no money" "Is that all?" "I can look after myself, don't need the man" - for she who rules has all of the money by now. I am always being accused of spending, wasting it all.. yet for the last 3 years at least, I only ever have about 30 baht (as in cash) in my pocket (or, as in right now: AU$1) I buy all the groceries fuel etc etc and the lovely one gets the LV bags, Pandorra, and goes out of her way to find people who need her $ help Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chrisinth Posted October 2, 2016 Share Posted October 2, 2016 My missus has been known to drive up to 20 kilometers to save 2 baht on a packet of washing powder. She knows a bargain when she sees it, bless her..................... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
samsensam Posted October 2, 2016 Share Posted October 2, 2016 this seems a foreigner in thailand obsession. to be honest it isnt anyone else's business what someone spends their money on or how much they spend. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
khunpa Posted October 2, 2016 Share Posted October 2, 2016 (edited) Farang guys are generally seen as ATM machines with Money-Trees growing in their garden. (from a rural Thai-woman point of view) The Thai-woman celebrates the Farang spending, if spent on her, but at the same time disrespects him for throwing away "her" money. Kind of a dilemma. When a Thai-woman then saves money later in the relationship, it is looked upon as good (like she really loves him)... BUT only because most Farangs, really do not have money to be big-spenders in the long run. And since the money she saves is actually HIS money, he can celebrate that their relationship will last longer than when in "spending-mode". Of course when the money runs out, all the "celebrations", opinions and the relationship usually comes to an end. The woman thinks he is an idiot for throwing away his money and he blames her for not helping him save more from the beginning. Edited October 2, 2016 by khunpa Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tifino Posted October 2, 2016 Share Posted October 2, 2016 (edited) 2 minutes ago, samsensam said: this seems a foreigner in thailand obsession. to be honest it isnt anyone else's business what someone spends their money on or how much they spend. but's not always their money to begin with (even though I play the game - that's what is mine is ours) Edited October 2, 2016 by tifino Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pgrahmm Posted October 2, 2016 Share Posted October 2, 2016 No - actually my wife takes me to task any time she see's me spend on what she might think as frivolous..... She has her own money that I've never seen her spend unwisely.... Her parents taught not to buy big things - but to always save her money for food..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sanemax Posted October 2, 2016 Share Posted October 2, 2016 Is the term "Cheap Charlie" used by anyone other than bar girls or mongers ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JJGreen Posted October 2, 2016 Author Share Posted October 2, 2016 Is the term "Cheap Charlie" used by anyone other than bar girls or mongers ?No idea...u are the first to mention the term Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JJGreen Posted October 2, 2016 Author Share Posted October 2, 2016 Spot on, but one is an outside perspective looking at you, and the other is your perspective looking at your partner. I don't think these perceptions are any different in any country. Generosity is usually a valued trait, as is being a frugal wife. I think what is more important is having a similar attitude to money as your partner. If one is tight and one spends freely there will be friction, especially if she is the one spending your money freely. Interesting observation about the 2 different perspectives...and quite right Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pgrahmm Posted October 2, 2016 Share Posted October 2, 2016 Nothing goes to waste around our house..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tifino Posted October 2, 2016 Share Posted October 2, 2016 heh heh, missus has just begun her next hour-long call back to LOS. This is the 4th today, to the same... She's been trawling Facebook for friends (a lot), and (a month ago) found some cousin twice removed, that she's not seen since a child. Three weeks a go I did the right thing and clicked for her to Request as a Friend. Cousin no doubt saw the request ages ago, and only just accepted this, last night. Trouble is that, on becoming a friend, the security feature now lets it be revealed that missus is mrs falang. Now - all cousins family are on messenger with (sick water buffalos) calls This means that ( yes again) Mrs Pennypinching's good habits of late - take a backstep We are pennypiching, in the wake of recently deciding to upscale to a bigger house. ( so the falangs' concern has just become real again) It happens a lot - (this helping her Instant Friends) I had already added up the 'recents' into our Budget - so far the last 12 months tally = AU$17000, and counting... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JDGRUEN Posted October 2, 2016 Share Posted October 2, 2016 I am a bit envious of you guys who have found a Thai woman who is trustworthy with money, who is grateful that I provide her with money that I have and is willing to provide her portion of work and money on some sort of pro rata arrangement. I just haven't found any ... whether they have a good education and a good job and benefits or whether they are of low education and low level job or no job. I am a generous man with what I have to give... a long way from a cheap charlie ... But I find Thai ladies - high and low who want nothing but my money ... want it now - not later and a lot of it - all on a proportionate scale to their life experience ... I could be even more generous with the right Thai lady - IF she could possibly understand the 5 year plan of how we get to living a very good life ... I have reduced it to the 3 year plan -- but no takers... I can't find it in myself to be overly generous to a woman I barely know. And for me - it would take 6 months to a year to say I know her. WAY too long for most I have met. (Again - all over the map of education levels and job levels)... I see and know Farangs with nice Thai wives and girlfriends ... it seems to be working for them... BUT in all cases my analysis I see that he has much more money than I do and provides it generously to her... Wish I could do that.... I am not stone broke poor ... I live okay -- but no extravagant living for me - okay apartment - nice motorcycle - a little of this and that. It will happen some day ... I am optimistic ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bendejo Posted October 2, 2016 Share Posted October 2, 2016 I've come across more than a few American guys who enjoy spending too much. It's their way of saying to the world "I spend it because I have it" and is part of the live like a king shtick. I would guess this is not restricted to just Yanks. When the Thais (or anyone in SEA) sees this attitude the first thought is to find a way to get in on the receiving end. Ever notice the first question a bar girl asks is "where you stay?" Marriot=jackpot, Dingleberry Arms on Soi 7.5 = "cheap charlie." Kind of funny when someone who's every sentence is to extract money from you calls you cheap. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kaalle Posted October 2, 2016 Share Posted October 2, 2016 I would never support any one. Make it clear from the start. If you cant find a lady who can support herself I'm afraid the problem lies with you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SOUTHERNSTAR Posted October 3, 2016 Share Posted October 3, 2016 (edited) 13 hours ago, pgrahmm said: Nothing goes to waste around our house..... You can make money from this by advertising for Philips. 555 Edited October 3, 2016 by SOUTHERNSTAR Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sanemax Posted October 3, 2016 Share Posted October 3, 2016 Yeah, Phillips rice cookers tend to break and can then be used as plant pots :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dotpoom Posted October 3, 2016 Share Posted October 3, 2016 The difference is....in your second instance , it is their own money that is not being spent. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
williamgeorgeallen Posted October 3, 2016 Share Posted October 3, 2016 13 hours ago, JDGRUEN said: I am a bit envious of you guys who have found a Thai woman who is trustworthy with money, who is grateful that I provide her with money that I have and is willing to provide her portion of work and money on some sort of pro rata arrangement. I just haven't found any ... whether they have a good education and a good job and benefits or whether they are of low education and low level job or no job. I am a generous man with what I have to give... a long way from a cheap charlie ... But I find Thai ladies - high and low who want nothing but my money ... want it now - not later and a lot of it - all on a proportionate scale to their life experience ... I could be even more generous with the right Thai lady - IF she could possibly understand the 5 year plan of how we get to living a very good life ... I have reduced it to the 3 year plan -- but no takers... I can't find it in myself to be overly generous to a woman I barely know. And for me - it would take 6 months to a year to say I know her. WAY too long for most I have met. (Again - all over the map of education levels and job levels)... I see and know Farangs with nice Thai wives and girlfriends ... it seems to be working for them... BUT in all cases my analysis I see that he has much more money than I do and provides it generously to her... Wish I could do that.... I am not stone broke poor ... I live okay -- but no extravagant living for me - okay apartment - nice motorcycle - a little of this and that. It will happen some day ... I am optimistic ... fair points. i have kids with a thai girl. and 5 years in we are getting along very well. money breaks most thai/western relationships. often because the thai get more and more demanding, i see it over and over again. my advice is set a salary and stick to it. they will try every story to get more but dont give in. for sure i am going to now get people asking 'would you pay your thai girl a salary?' well no i would not, because there is no way i would ever date a western woman. actually i would not date a thai woman either unless she was raising our kids. only thing better than being single is having kids. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JSixpack Posted October 3, 2016 Share Posted October 3, 2016 (edited) 5 hours ago, bendejo said: I've come across more than a few American guys who enjoy spending too much. It's their way of saying to the world "I spend it because I have it" and is part of the live like a king shtick. I would guess this is not restricted to just Yanks. Most 'Mercuns have never been to Thailand before (most have never owned a passport) and so are easily impressed and seduced by the unaccustomed, heady charms of Thai women. Moreover, they've likely worked hard for their little 2-week holiday (NOT 5.6 weeks) & saved a certain amount and intend to blow it all, besides which there are the ol' credit cards, ha. The intention isn't to impress other farangs--though of course every rule has exceptions--but the women. And we know that does work well while the money lasts. But the OP isn't concerned with actual spending you see. It's the disparaging references towards the frugal. Where? On this forum mainly. That ain't the 'Mercuns, a small minority here who don't care one way or the other. I think you'll find the disparagement coming mainly from the Brits, a large group indeed of Big Spenders here in the virtual world at least--particularly when it comes to other members' money. So your analysis might be best directed towards them. Edited October 3, 2016 by JSixpack Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sendintheclowns Posted October 3, 2016 Share Posted October 3, 2016 (edited) OP would have been more interesting/inclusive if it had asked for opinions, included all partners; i.e. 14 hours ago, tifino said: heh heh, missus has just begun her next hour-long call back to LOS. This is the 4th today, to the same... She's been trawling Facebook for friends (a lot), and (a month ago) found some cousin twice removed, that she's not seen since a child. Three weeks a go I did the right thing and clicked for her to Request as a Friend. Cousin no doubt saw the request ages ago, and only just accepted this, last night. Trouble is that, on becoming a friend, the security feature now lets it be revealed that missus is mrs falang. Now - all cousins family are on messenger with (sick water buffalos) calls This means that ( yes again) Mrs Pennypinching's good habits of late - take a backstep We are pennypiching, in the wake of recently deciding to upscale to a bigger house. ( so the falangs' concern has just become real again) It happens a lot - (this helping her Instant Friends) I had already added up the 'recents' into our Budget - so far the last 12 months tally = AU$17000, and counting... Edited October 3, 2016 by sendintheclowns mis-posted Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sendintheclowns Posted October 3, 2016 Share Posted October 3, 2016 It would have been a bit more interesting if the OP has referred to both Thai and non-Tha partners. Are there ANY farang couples here at TV ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mikiea Posted October 3, 2016 Share Posted October 3, 2016 (edited) 17 hours ago, piersbeckett said: 1. I don't think it's gender related. 2. Yes. 3. Because foreigners have a reputation for wasting money particularly in beer bars where Thai 'girls' normally take advantage of them. There's also the 'provider' thing; a good provider isn't tight and a good person that is provided for is not wasteful so as one, to impress the provider i.e. to show that his/her providing is not in vain and two in so doing to keep the provision coming. in beer bars ? not in vain ? read your dribble before you post . you will avoid people like myself wondering what you are talking about . Edited October 3, 2016 by mikiea Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mikiea Posted October 3, 2016 Share Posted October 3, 2016 54 minutes ago, dotpoom said: The difference is....in your second instance , it is their own money that is not being spent. 16 hours ago, sanemax said: Is the term "Cheap Charlie" used by anyone other than bar girls or mongers ? only leeches , Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
4MyEgo Posted October 3, 2016 Share Posted October 3, 2016 (edited) In the village were I reside, I am apparently known as a kinot falang (cheap Charlie), suffice to say, most in the village know nothing of me, however know of my worth, I do nothing to make myself out to be a cheap Charlie, or anything to show I have money, however I have seen falangs come and go and throw money like it is going out of fashion, to only find out later that they had to go back to work in the country they came from to pay off the money that they threw around to show off. The wife here in the village is looked upon by the locals as a good village girl, because she has a brain, she didn't change her status when she married a falang, she doesn't have her nose up in the air, she is still down to earth with the locals and constantly jokes with them daily, she still dresses like a village girl (in her PJ's till afternoon) and always says, my husband doesn't give me money when she is asked for a loan, you know the one that you never see returned, and when her family has in the past put plans/suggestions forward to extract $'s from the falang, she had to always refers to her rule book titled "Extracting $'s from the Falang", which I gave her when we got married 10 years ago, which has 100 rules in it. Rule 1: My family comes 1st and has to eat, if her family has trouble understanding that, she then has the option to refer to rules 2 to 100, which state, refer back to rule 1: My family comes 1st and has to eat. Her saying to me has always been on the lines; "your money, is a my money, and a my money is a my money", cute, but just a saying, she never asks me for money, and if she does, its for something small, she knows she has won the lottery, and knows how to make the most out of her future fortune, a rare diamond, I dare say. No matter what you as a falang have e.g. zero $'s or 20 million baht, Thai's will always have a go thinking otherwise, stay low, family 1st, if no family here, you are 1st, and if your Mrs wants to be a show Pony, you can always trade her in, as for the jealous Thai's, they are no different to our western friends, really, jealousy is within those that possess it. Live life, stay positive and away from the negative energy, as it appears to be almost everywhere..................and always spend within your means. Edited October 3, 2016 by 4MyEgo Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
1FinickyOne Posted October 3, 2016 Share Posted October 3, 2016 15 hours ago, JDGRUEN said: I am a bit envious of you guys who have found a Thai woman who is trustworthy with money, who is grateful that I provide her with money that I have and is willing to provide her portion of work and money on some sort of pro rata arrangement. I just haven't found any ... whether they have a good education and a good job and benefits or whether they are of low education and low level job or no job. I am a generous man with what I have to give... a long way from a cheap charlie ... But I find Thai ladies - high and low who want nothing but my money ... want it now - not later and a lot of it - all on a proportionate scale to their life experience ... I could be even more generous with the right Thai lady - IF she could possibly understand the 5 year plan of how we get to living a very good life ... I have reduced it to the 3 year plan -- but no takers... I can't find it in myself to be overly generous to a woman I barely know. And for me - it would take 6 months to a year to say I know her. WAY too long for most I have met. (Again - all over the map of education levels and job levels)... I see and know Farangs with nice Thai wives and girlfriends ... it seems to be working for them... BUT in all cases my analysis I see that he has much more money than I do and provides it generously to her... Wish I could do that.... I am not stone broke poor ... I live okay -- but no extravagant living for me - okay apartment - nice motorcycle - a little of this and that. It will happen some day ... I am optimistic ... JD - I believe you are sincere with your 3-5 year plans, but from what I have seen, Thai will not appreciate this. They live more on the moment. I knew a fellow in Bkk some years ago who gave the same rap to the bargirls... I give you little money now, but if you are good gal and still with me after 2 years, I will buy you a house and a car etc... most girls only lasted a month... which was fine with him, but the girls by now have surely heard this line before... That said, through the years here, I have seen many ladies go and stay with guys who do not have a lot of money, and they seemed like lovely ladies too. Of course, these ladies were in an appropriate age range, though often 15 -20 years younger... but if you are 60 and looking for a 20 year old, it is probably going to cost a lot and be short lived. In short, I would go easy on the story of future generosity - they know the difference between cash in hand and a gentle breeze... it can almost seem disingenuous. Though I believe you - good luck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
4MyEgo Posted October 3, 2016 Share Posted October 3, 2016 15 hours ago, tifino said: heh heh, missus has just begun her next hour-long call back to LOS. This is the 4th today, to the same... She's been trawling Facebook for friends (a lot), and (a month ago) found some cousin twice removed, that she's not seen since a child. Three weeks a go I did the right thing and clicked for her to Request as a Friend. Cousin no doubt saw the request ages ago, and only just accepted this, last night. Trouble is that, on becoming a friend, the security feature now lets it be revealed that missus is mrs falang. Now - all cousins family are on messenger with (sick water buffalos) calls This means that ( yes again) Mrs Pennypinching's good habits of late - take a backstep We are pennypiching, in the wake of recently deciding to upscale to a bigger house. ( so the falangs' concern has just become real again) It happens a lot - (this helping her Instant Friends) I had already added up the 'recents' into our Budget - so far the last 12 months tally = AU$17000, and counting... I would imagine that you have a Vodaphone infinite prepaid plan or something like that which allows free calls to Thailand ? Not unusual to be calling home a couple of times a day when in another country, home sick, but 4 a day, might be stretching the friendship and maybe a bit fishy ? Facebook is a good tool and yes she will get the invites, mine loves it for the food pages. You are going to have to give the Mrs your rule book with rules 1 to 100: Rule 1, we come 1st, if her family and friends can't understand that, then she can refer to rules 2-100, which state; refer to rule 1. Mrs Pennypiching has to stand firm, meaning you have to make her stand firm, or you will go backwards. If she makes her own money and wants to help her friends, then up to her, but make it clear, she has to contribute to your expenses and future as well, after all, its your future. If you think she isn't getting the picture and you cannot turn her around, and its costing you, start looking for a new model. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
4MyEgo Posted October 3, 2016 Share Posted October 3, 2016 6 hours ago, bendejo said: I've come across more than a few American guys who enjoy spending too much. It's their way of saying to the world "I spend it because I have it" and is part of the live like a king shtick. I would guess this is not restricted to just Yanks. When the Thais (or anyone in SEA) sees this attitude the first thought is to find a way to get in on the receiving end. Ever notice the first question a bar girl asks is "where you stay?" Marriot=jackpot, Dingleberry Arms on Soi 7.5 = "cheap charlie." Kind of funny when someone who's every sentence is to extract money from you calls you cheap. All over you like a rash, duck and weave, not sure of name of hotel, but I show you after, by the way, how much for short time and bar fine, no no no I said short time ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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