my gf want me to buy her a house.

[scorecard]

54 minutes ago, louse1953 said:

Just because that is your personal situation,don't think the rest of us let family walk all over us and treat us as fools.

 

Actually your direct assumption is wrong.

 

I'm fortunate to have a very good situation with all of this. And it's been good for several decades and looks like it will continue to be good.

 

I've been in Thailand close to 4 decades and I've therefore seen many configurations of this subject and I've seen many examples of what I posted. 

 

Is every Thai extended family what I posted? No of course not, and I didn't suggest every Thai extended family was like this.

[thaibeachlovers]

Just now, catman20 said:

i agree with you 100% 1. it will properly end up costing you more. 2. you wont want to stay there long term so wouldn't worry about that. she sounds like a nice girl go for it you will get a lot of pleasure seeing her little face light up when you say you will do it. GO FOR IT.

In my sad experience that is the only time her face will light up. That would happen when I agreed to give my wife money for something, but that was the only time, till the next time she wanted money.

[fulhamboy]

Seven years ! if you can afford it she  deserves it,

I will buy my GF a house but still rent a condo for the swimming pool and the bars ! 

[catman20]

9 minutes ago, speckio said:

if you have been together for 7 years i think its reasonable for you to build her a house she is in it for the long haul. and chances are if she kicks you out... more than likely you did something wrong and deserved it.

 

Also ask yourself why you arent married yet after 7 years? If you don't see  future with this women tell her no on the the house building.

 

OK i lived with a great girl for 6 years never interested to marry again not necessary in Thailand after we finished i still continued to see this lady and 3 years down the road i bought her a house in Bangkok in her name as a gift that was 3 years ago i still see her and stay at the beautiful house i bought her. i live alone and do my own thing and we are still very special to each other 12 year on.

 

[catman20]

13 minutes ago, thaibeachlovers said:

In my sad experience that is the only time her face will light up. That would happen when I agreed to give my wife money for something, but that was the only time, till the next time she wanted money.

maybe your with the wrong women. dont get married

[jobin]

You are getting old, mate.  Look to your future and those folks who will be willing and able to care for a geriatric farang; your extended Thai family.

My advice: put up half the dough, and let the extended family find the balance.

[Mansell]

Why do you have to buy a house, where are you living now? You could probably find a nice sized house for your needs and rent it. Why do you have to buy or build.....just rent. Most of these small towns and villages have empty houses at low monthly costs available for rent.....you can even get a discount and pay a year in advance. If you are paying 10,000 baht a month, or more it will be cheaper than flushing 400,000 baht down the toilet.....gone forever. And if it doesn't work out.....bye bye baby.

[ChrisKC]

The "deal" sounds reasonable at face value. Building houses anywhere have a habit of costing a lot more that was first thought. Surveying the land, an architect and a lawyer could cost a quite a chunk of B400,000.

[amykat]

1 hour ago, thaibeachlovers said:

Are you living with/ married to a Thai? Have you bought a Thai lady a house? Do the family live nearby?

If not, I doubt you understand what is at risk.

 

Hey, Thaibeachlovers, I thought we were becoming friends?  Do you really have so little respect for my intelligence that you think I can't understand the problems here?  I wasn't addressing all issues involved in the problem of living in a village, living near family, buying a house in a Thai name, living or marrying a Thai person and it may shock you, but it is possible to understand these things without having done each and every of them yourself.

 

 

1 hour ago, thaibeachlovers said:

BTW, he's not married to her, and her family are not his responsibility. The land will never be his, so how can he get free land?

 

 

Well I have a usufruct and a mortgage against someone (who I don't live with and who didn't own this house or land) and I paid full market price for my house and land. They didn't discount the purchase price by 1.5 million baht because I will never be able to own the land.  In my example, they can't use the land for something else, if his house is on it for 30 years, or until he dies, can they?  He didn't pay them for use of the land that he is controlling.  Do you know of a way to build a house without land on which to put it?  If you put a house on land for which you do not pay ...how would you phrase that?? FREE LAND.

 

1 hour ago, thaibeachlovers said:

 

 

Do you not understand that once the house has been built, he is at HER mercy. Unless he dreamt that one day he could move to Thailand and spend his money helping a poor Thai family to own a house there is no obligation on his part to do so.

 

Of course she wants something out of the relationship. The point is if he will continue to get what he wants if he does what she wants.

In my experience, gratitude isn't something that lasts long, especially where money is concerned.

 

I understand that she is asking for a gift.  This isn't the typical case of buying yourself a house but putting it your g/f's name for lack of  other choices.  If he decides to make this gift into a set of handcuffs and a leash and collar for her to wear, then I wouldn't call it a gift. It is like when a man "buys" a car for a woman but puts in his own name ...that isn't "buying" a car for a woman ..yet you always call it that. What that is, is allowing a woman to drive your car, until you won't allow it any longer.  That might be nice, but let's just call things what they really are.

 

 

 

[Straight8]

On 15/10/2016 at 11:02 PM, Deepinthailand said:

Am I missing something !!! Where in the op was Issan mention? ???.

 

for 400k, where else would it be. Out in the sticks, Issan, Nahkon nowhere, what's the ******** difference?

[Dumbastheycome]

If the land  has a chanote  issued in the name of a  co  signitory then a lease is possible. No chanote...a 30 year lease is  not  valid.  Until a chanaote is issued  land is deemed to be  in pending stages of squatters rights  and thus not permitted to be sub leased for  any period longer than  3 years. Such lease agreements  are   made  but the leasee can be laughed off  anytime.

[Deepinthailand]

On 17/10/2016 at 9:47 AM, realenglish1 said:

This is the dream of lots of poor Thai girls Farang comes along buys house for them then she kicks them out

Be very careful my friend I have been here 15 years  I know

Can you tell us your story how it happened to you. 

[Deepinthailand]

45 minutes ago, Straight8 said:

 

for 400k, where else would it be. Out in the sticks, Issan, Nahkon nowhere, what's the ******** difference?

Well as it happens lots of diffrence and as the op has responded to this question it's now sorted.

[muzmurray]

2 hours ago, lostinisaan said:

 

 Better intro a slot than a slut? 

 

  A 7-year holiday relationship where she could always manage to be off when you arrived?

 

      OP, you didn't really understand what she really wants. I don't think that she'd like to live with you in a house.

 

   Maybe  with her Thai partner? How much do you know about the woman who gives you free clothes? 

 

Nice of you to call the OP's GF a "slut", you are a special kind of stroker.

[Shiver]

I have a friend that found someone nearby that wanted a concrete house, so he bought the wood of the existing house which was quite large, and had some people plane the wood and it looked like new. All he had to do then was pile drive and put some non load bearing cinder block walls and base on the ground floor and they ended up with a fairly large house for a couple of hundred grand (this was about 6-7 years ago).  He lived there and didn't ask for ownership.  The relationship ended for other reasons (not money grabbing) and he moved out, but it was money that he was capable of losing.  Might be one option for going forward if 400K doesn't hurt your viability too much.

 

Personally I prefer wood as it doesn't hold nearly as much heat, and if it is planed true there are no slots for moquitoes to get in.

 

 

Edited October 18, 2016 by Shiver

[Brer Fox]

My advice to you would not be helpful. So I will refrain from saying get out while you can before you lose the lot.

[peterb17]

Bloody hell - it's half the price of a car. 

 

No more comment 

[bamukloy]

Ive travelled many locations around the globe and ive never seen this phenomena thats so popular here.

Foreign men sweeping in and buying a house for some girl they dont know from a bar of soap.

 

I could kinda understand if they had some land ownership rights..but..

 

I just shake my head again and again.

 

Maybe theres some truth in the rumour that these Isaan ladies are in touch with black magic.

 

Either that or they have invented the worlds biggest idiot magnet  

 

 

[elliss]

On 10/15/2016 at 11:24 PM, Deepinthailand said:

Don't listen to the doomsayers most had your lass wrongly tagged as issan. 400000k not a lot can build a thai style house for that if you have labour in family. No point in my opinion of trying to get any sort of agreement re land or house. If it goes belly up you wouldn't want to live there anyway. Not sure if the law here covers boyfriend girl friend relationships ie if you are entitled to half the house but I doubt it very much. 8 years is long enough to make up your own mind. Has she ripped you off in the 8 years?? I suspect not otherwise you would not be a asking on here so just go for it.

 

        Issan tagged  ,   doomed to fail ,  i should know .555

[tomyumchai]

Back when i was green and nieve i dated a girl from udon thani. On my 4th visit to the village then grandmother barked a load of crap at me when i arrived and my girlfriend stupidly (but much to my advantage) translated it.

"Why this stupid foreigner come to the village again? Tell him to build us a house this time or dont come again". That was probably the game changer that showed me what theyre truely like and a decade later ive still not been taken for a mug.

.....she found her mug, in australia!

[elliss]

19 minutes ago, bamukloy said:

Ive travelled many locations around the globe and ive never seen this phenomena thats so popular here.

Foreign men sweeping in and buying a house for some girl they dont know from a bar of soap.

 

I could kinda understand if they had some land ownership rights..but..

 

I just shake my head again and again.

 

Maybe theres some truth in the rumour that these Isaan ladies are in touch with black magic.

 

Either that or they have invented the worlds biggest idiot magnet  

 

 

 

       Known  locally  as ,  Stupid farlang ,  and  may i add there are many ,    

              I should know. 

[ableguy]

On 10/15/2016 at 1:54 PM, phetphet said:

Usufruct maybe?

The only way is a usafruct, however you still run the risk of the relationship going pear shaped, as the house is on her land and her mother and sister are some where in the picture they inc your then ex will want you out.

Could you continue to live there in the village alone under these circumstances, the answer must be no, however in life sometimes we have to take risks , this is a decision you have to make so good luck.

ps  I bought mine a house with a usafruct but a three hour drive away from her family.

[Confuscious]

On 10/15/2016 at 2:14 PM, jonw8uk said:

but whatever legal protection you may have, do you think that if you do break up, you'd still be living in the house with your ex and her family?

 

Sounds like an awkward living arrangement that you'd soon walk away from

 

If you and your girlfriend breakup, you will leave.
The choice is up to you.
Leave walking or leave as ashes.
Life is cheap in Thailand.
Specialy in remote farmer villages.
 

[Penefattore]

anyway , to the OP : if you think she deserves a gift of 400,000 baht and you can afford it , give her ; if you are just trying to save money , change girlfriend (and mobile number and address or it won't work)

[Penefattore]

5 hours ago, jobin said:

You are getting old, mate.  Look to your future and those folks who will be willing and able to care for a geriatric farang; your extended Thai family.

what makes you assume he is willing to get euthanasia ?

[Matej]

Don't hesitate at all and spend your hard earned money on your girlfriend's house.

Don't forget about her siblings.

 

[thaibeachlovers]

8 hours ago, catman20 said:

maybe your with the wrong women. dont get married

True, but where were your wise words when I was still single?

The answer is to rent, never buy.

[Mangkhut]

Just make sure that she buy you a Ferrari first....

[akentryan]

Consider also what will happen if your wife dies before you. She should make a will naming you as Executor and the Inheritor. Otherwise you will be dealing with the GF's parents for 1/3 and you will pay tax on the 2/3 you inherit. You will then have to have a Plan B as you can't own land. Had this happen to me two years ago and still haven't got it all sorted out. I did buy the 1/3 interest in house in Pattaya for 1.4 million and my car for 1/3 its value. The house in Bang Sue is still for sale because the family wants more than it is worth.

[Paul Catton]

Gift your girlfriend the 400K so she can provide a better accommodation for her parents and sibling if you see a future together.

You have been with this girlfriend for 7 years, the price for this companionship to date has been 156 baht per day, and ever reducing while in unison.

Presuming of course 400K is not the only egg in your basket.