My marriage crash and burn in Thailand?

[ThaisGood]

A lot of older 50+ farang men get a fresh start in Thailand after a life in farangland. Is there a likely success rate for farang/Thai couples that raised a family 25+ years then go live in Thailand together? 

 

Like many couples at my age, I'd say my marriage is not as strong as it could be. Call it midlife crisis or whatever, I need to make a change. That means I want to move away from this cold climate.  I would prefer staying together with her. 

 

There are a lot of options. Mexico would be nice. Costa Rica. Ecuador. Or within America.  

 

I'm thinking Thailand could be the place where our marriage crashes and burns if we go there. I would probably fall for a younger Thai lady (irresistible) and my wife picked on by her family endlessly for money.  

 

Having said that, I feel most comfortable in Thailand, having lived there 1990-94, and quite decent with the language. 

 

Sorry to bother you with this but any feedback welcome. 

[happylarry]

I can give you one for and one against for moving to Thailand without giving it too much thought.

For is the weather, I used to get the usual aches and pains that come when you get a bit older but this warm weather keeps them all at bay.

Against is that the pension is not index linked so whatever you get when you reach the age then that's what it stays at for life.

But I would say that if you are already thinking about younger women over here then I don't think you will last long mate....lol

HL

[JAS21]

On Wednesday, November 23, 2016 at 10:05 PM, happylarry said:

I can give you one for and one against for moving to Thailand without giving it too much thought.

For is the weather, I used to get the usual aches and pains that come when you get a bit older but this warm weather keeps them all at bay.

Against is that the pension is not index linked so whatever you get when you reach the age then that's what it stays at for life.

But I would say that if you are already thinking about younger women over here then I don't think you will last long mate....lol

HL

The last sentence is highly probably ... we moved from the UK in 2007...fortunately I have no longing for anyone but my wife ...lucky I suppose as she is a wonderful person and still looks 'quite' good at sixty.

 

The big disadvantage here is that I don't speak Thai so MrsJ is lumbered with sorting most things out.

 

Another is that MrsJ plays golf so my golfing bill is double and several times more than it was in the UK.

 

The heat is bad but on balance cold is worse ..

 

You want to get old in the UK ..FYL

[Cook my sock]

@jas21 she is lovely, you are a lucky man!

[petermik]

7 hours ago, Cook my sock said:

@jas21 she is lovely, you are a lucky man!

But she likes to play around a bit as JAS has pointed out 5555...................

[williamgeorgeallen]

sounds like a good move if you are cashed up. also if it falls to bits your girl has her family to run back too. thailand is on a bit of a downward slide but the retirement visa is still on of the best and the climate and prices are ok. just remember to rent and move around a bit.  if someone asked me if they should move to thailand first thing i ask them is how much cash they have. still need 50k a month to live properly.

[elgordo38]

On 11/23/2016 at 10:05 PM, happylarry said:

I can give you one for and one against for moving to Thailand without giving it too much thought.

For is the weather, I used to get the usual aches and pains that come when you get a bit older but this warm weather keeps them all at bay.

Against is that the pension is not index linked so whatever you get when you reach the age then that's what it stays at for life.

But I would say that if you are already thinking about younger women over here then I don't think you will last long mate....lol

HL

You could maybe work on your wife's tolerance level and casually bring up the word Mia Noi and gauge her reaction. If you have enough money maybe even shoot for 2 of them. 

[DSJPC]

what a stupid question to ask of others!!!...only YOU can determine the answer...get a life!

[Kabula]

It sounds like your marriage has already crashed and is on life support.

 

Who suggested the option of Thailand, you or your wife?

 

These days most marriages fail so the odds are not in your favor.

 

If you haven't already,  I would ask your wife what she wants?

 

Trust me, you don't want to live in Costa Rica. I lived there for 11 years and everyone I knew that live there left because of high crime, inflation, horrible air quality in the cities from cheap Diesel exhaust,  high taxes and more.

 

If you and your wife both want to come here that's good.

 

But, as you know if she leaves for a week at a time with the same old excuses you need younger backup for the next chapter!

[catman20]

will crash and burn anyway 

[laislica]

It might depend where you live?
In the boonies, you could just die of boredom.

Near the night life - you could be tempted away...

What will you do if you choose Thailand, need a car but you cannot drive any more?
Does your wife drive?

 

[csabo]

If you have the ability set up 6 months stays at your top 4 locations. In that 2 years you will learn a lot.

[Cook my sock]

To the OP - we don't need a crystal ball here.. really you've already decided what will happen

[Wazza1]

go to Thailand, get a younger model, you don't keep a car once it's got too many miles on it do you?

[MyFriend You]

I have been telling everyone that even thinks of it  -  "If there are any cracks in your Marraige - don't come to Bangkok or the Philipines"  These girls put a spell on you and soon you will be divorced with everything you own going to the ex-wife, once you are destitute, your new squeeze will abandon you as well.   Fact, not Fiction. 

[jacko45k]

Only item I can recommend is consider where in Thailand you would like to live. Pattaya may tempt you particularly if the wife is away playing golf. If the wife's family live in a rural area do not consider there, too much of a culture shock. Generally I would advise not living near her family.

[lungnorm]

It looks like you are in between a rock and a hard place. No advice would be good advice.If you go to Thailand be prepared to lose a lot of money to the family even if you do not settle anywhere near them as they will come to you. I suggest you lock some of your funds away in reserve in case the worst happens. Do not let your wife be aware of your stash as she will find a way to extort it from you to give to her family. Just have a throw away allowance for them. A younger model will surely drain your finances. Sorry to say I would hate to be in your shoes.

[Deepinthailand]

Thought you had got your answers in the other very similar thread you started

[Beats56]

5 hours ago, TunnelRat69 said:

I have been telling everyone that even thinks of it  -  "If there are any cracks in your Marraige - don't come to Bangkok or the Philipines"  These girls put a spell on you and soon you will be divorced with everything you own going to the ex-wife, once you are destitute, your new squeeze will abandon you as well.   Fact, not Fiction. 

It's a 50/50 split now days not 100% to the wife.

[4MyEgo]

If you feel that your marriage is or has been on the rocks now that the kids have grown and left, perhaps you should both have some time away from each other, i.e. ask her if she wants to go to Thailand for a holiday, her departing 1st to go and spend some time with family, she may will feel free, family is everything to Thai's in my opinion.

 

Then you can follow her after a week, but take time out for yourself, i.e. stop at Phuket for a week, empty those sacks a few times, hook up with some young things and relive your youth, but remember, they are only entertaining you for their survival, not for you, last thing you want to do is fall for a young pretty Thai girl, accept the fact that your getting older, and that you want to eat something else for a little while and digest it, as I am sure it will wear off.

 

Go to the village and hook up with your wife after Phuket, see how the mood is, see how you have been feeling about her being away and how she has been feeling about you being away, especially with you being in Phuket for a week, sometimes being apart brings home your fears, or makes love grow fonder as the saying goes.

 

Some might not agree with you playing the field, but the way I see it, as you said, its on the rocks anyways, so why not see for yourself, as I am sure you will know one way or the other after your week in Phuket, after all you only have one life, you don't need to live inside each others pockets, and after your week in Phuket, you might feel you need your wife in your life because you actually love her, not because she might feel like a piece of furniture, you on get what you put in your marriage, so maybe give a little more of yourself as you did when you 1st met, otherwise face the music. 

 

If you feel that you still love her and feel she still loves you, perhaps a week in a nice resort or hotel in Krabi or Hua Hin away from bars, as you don't want any distractions, remember, its about rekindling.

 

As for living in Thailand or anywhere else for that matter, see how things pan out after your holiday in Thailand and then go one step at a time.

 

Be interesting to see how things go if you take my advice.

 

Good luck, my invoice is in the mail 555

[Khon Kaen Dave]

Catman 20

Crash and burn anyway.

I have to say that each time i read one of your posts,i am convinced that you are the Harbinger of death,doom,and gloom.Your last post on another topic,convinced me that you arent really the soul of the party or the milk of human kindness and compassion.

What happened to you man? what happened to you along the road of life that you have this Christopher Robin, Donkey's attitude? Or "we're all going to die anyway"attitude.

Do you have any friends?and if you do are they a bunch like you.I bet you even depress the bar girls where you have a pint,Do you see the glass as half empty rather than half full?

I would have hated to be the soldier standing next t you on the boats in the D Day landings.

C'mon man lighten up,thats why we came here.Forgotten already have you?

[GOLDBUGGY]

There is an Old Saying which goes with living and working overseas, and it goes like this:

 

"If you have a problem before you come here, it will only get worst once you are here".

 

So I guess if your marriage is on shaky ground already, it will only crash and burn when you get here, and like you said.

 

Personally, and please don't take this the wrong way, but I think that before you decide on where you are going to move to and live, you first need to decide on who you are going to live with.   

[GOLDBUGGY]

22 hours ago, Wazza1 said:

go to Thailand, get a younger model, you don't keep a car once it's got too many miles on it do you?

Some "Antiques Cars are Priceless". 

[Wazza1]

On 26/11/2016 at 10:20 PM, GOLDBUGGY said:

Some "Antiques Cars are Priceless". 

Yeah but like women they are old and rattle and don't handle very well.

 

[Emster23]

" I would probably fall for a younger Thai lady (irresistible) and my wife picked on by her family endlessly for money. "

   If you have that weak a will, if you lack moral compass, inability to behave like an adult, your word and commitments are  meaningless, then by all means don't come to Thailand.

  Jeez.... whatever happened to personal responsibility? "It just happened..." BS. Be a man with some ability to control yourself. We are in charge of our behaviors, we choose whether to do the right thing or not. If you want out, then get out of the marriage, but do it with a bit of self respect and respect for your partner. Amazing have to even tell people this sort of thing. As I used to tell my students: "You're only young once, but you can be immature forever"