DFCarlson Posted December 4, 2006 Share Posted December 4, 2006 Second Opinion Joe had suffered from headaches for years. Finally he went to the doctor. The doctor said, "Joe, the good news is I can cure your headaches. The bad new is that it will require castration. You have a very rare condition, which causes your testicles to press on your spine and the pressure creates one hel_l of a headache. The only way to relieve the pressure is to remove your testicles. " Joe was shocked and depressed. He wondered if he had anything to live for. He scheduled the operation for the next week.. When he left the hospital, Joe was really depressed. He decided to treat himself to a pick-me-up gift. He saw a men's clothing store and thought, "That's what I need. A new suit. That'll make me feel a little better. " He entered the shop and told the salesman, "I'd like a new suit. " The elderly tailor eyed him briefly and said, "Let's see. Size 44 long." Joe laughed, "That's right, how did you know? " "Been in the business 60 years! " the tailor said. Joe tried on the suit. It fit perfectly. As Joe admired himself in the mirror, the salesman asked, "How about a new shirt? " Joe thought for a moment and then said, "Sure. " The salesman eyed Joe and said, "Let's see, 34 sleeves and 16-1/2 neck. " Joe was surprised. "That's right, how did you know? " "Been in the business 60 years. " Joe tried on the shirt and it fit perfectly. Joe walked comfortably around the shop and the salesman asked, "How about some new underwear? " Joe thought for a moment and said, "Sure. " The salesman said, "Let's see. Size 36. " Joe laughed, "Ah ha! I got you, I've worn a size 34 since I was 18 years old. " The salesman shook his head, "You can't wear a size 34. A size 34 would press your testicles up against the base of your spine and give you one hel_l of a headache. " New suit -- $400 New shirt -- $36 New underwear -- $6 Second Opinion -- PRICELESS! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pink Mist Posted December 4, 2006 Share Posted December 4, 2006 an oldie but a goodie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
suegha Posted December 4, 2006 Share Posted December 4, 2006 I have never heard this one! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayo Posted December 5, 2006 Share Posted December 5, 2006 Ouch! That has gotta hurt! Not sure if I like it enough to laugh yet... Where're my baggy boxer shorts? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Little Black Duck Posted December 5, 2006 Share Posted December 5, 2006 Ouch! That has gotta hurt! Not sure if I like it enough to laugh yet... Where're my baggy boxer shorts? I'm with Mr Bronco on this one, a very Oldie but a good one.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
baabaabobo Posted December 5, 2006 Share Posted December 5, 2006 The way I heard it he had already had his testicles removed and THEN went to get a suit to cheer himself up - funnier IMHO Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
suegha Posted December 5, 2006 Share Posted December 5, 2006 The way I heard it he had already had his testicles removed and THEN went to get a suit to cheer himself up - funnier IMHO Cruel though! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
guardian Posted December 5, 2006 Share Posted December 5, 2006 The way I heard it he had already had his testicles removed and THEN went to get a suit to cheer himself up - funnier IMHO Not pozzibul. If he had his balls removed, the tailor would have said size 34 and would have only further increased the poor fellow's awe for the tailor and his bill would have increased further . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DFCarlson Posted December 5, 2006 Author Share Posted December 5, 2006 The way I heard it he had already had his testicles removed and THEN went to get a suit to cheer himself up - funnier IMHO Actually it was originally written such that he had his balls removed before he went to the tailor. I changed it (didn't seem to detract from the joke) because how could the tailor refer to his balls if he didn't have them any more? What do you think? Better with the balls or without? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pink Mist Posted December 5, 2006 Share Posted December 5, 2006 having balls would be better believe me Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
suegha Posted December 5, 2006 Share Posted December 5, 2006 The way I heard it he had already had his testicles removed and THEN went to get a suit to cheer himself up - funnier IMHO Actually it was originally written such that he had his balls removed before he went to the tailor. I changed it (didn't seem to detract from the joke) because how could the tailor refer to his balls if he didn't have them any more? What do you think? Better with the balls or without? That's a tough call! But I would prefer to have balls! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
baabaabobo Posted December 6, 2006 Share Posted December 6, 2006 The tailor would have have not known whether the guy has balls or not - his expert eye would have just correctly guessed his underwear size. Anyway the joke works with or without balls but is more tragic with balls removed than with balls removed removed if you get my drift. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bolt Posted December 6, 2006 Share Posted December 6, 2006 Indian tailor? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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