Is it Thai etiquette for the farang to pay for everyones dinner?

[thehelmsman]

4 hours ago, seancbk said:

1900 baht for 13 people to eat and drink??    Did the 'restaurant' have walls?   




 

 

Why are walls necessary, my favorite restaurant is a garden. Typical price for a buffet style dinner.

[ThailandLOS]

Yes it's certainly in accordance to Thai etiquette to pay for everyone else's (Thais) dinner. It's also a custom to tip at least 30% in such situations.

 

Breach of etiquette is regarded as extremely rude by said Thais.

[soalbundy]

3 hours ago, Shiver said:

I thought it was the wealthiest pays.

The wealthiest would have the higher status yes and depending where you live that is usually a farang or so the Thais think,often that isn't the case

[cyberfarang]

It`s Thai etiquette that the dumb Farlang pays the restaurant or bar bill.

 

Well known scam in Thailand: Farlang gets a date with a Thai lady, she arranges a venue for them to meet. She greets her Farlang date at their meeting point, within a few minutes her friend turns up, then followed by more of her friends who are only too happy to meet the hapless Farlang. They decide to hit the town, food, drinks and festivities, Farlang pays for the entertainments throughout the night, then later he goes home alone thinking what a great time he had.

[thaibeachlovers]

1 hour ago, rijb said:

Don't forget to take de-worming medicine when you get home.

The only time I got food poisoning was when I ate at a posh restaurant in Bkk.

[tominbkk]

1 minute ago, ThailandLOS said:

Yes it's certainly in accordance to Thai etiquette to pay for everyone else's (Thais) dinner. It's also a custom to tip at least 30% in such situations.

 

Breach of etiquette is regarded as extremely rude by said Thais.

 

Not at all.  When I was one of the younger members of my group (all Thai except me), I was never allowed to pay.  Once in awhile I would sneak over and pay before others could stop me, but that was not met favorably.  Etiquette is that the elders or boss pays.  Now that the whirlwind of time has put me into an elder/boss position, I do pay (and I enjoy paying).  

 

Also, I have no idea where you get this 30% tip rule.  Most Thai people I have ever know will not tip more than 40-50-100 Baht no matter what the bill comes to.  Where have you been expected to tip 30%?  I am genuinely and sincerely curious.  

 

[soalbundy]

9 minutes ago, thehelmsman said:

 

Why are walls necessary, my favorite restaurant is a garden. Typical price for a buffet style dinner.

yes i have done the same thing in Isaan, same sort of venue, 2,000 odd Baht for 12 people and that included a bottle of whisky ( not Johnny Walker obviously)

[NickJ]

Wow...after reading this whole thread I'm never going to pay ever again. esp when it's in a super busy mall. and I can get out fast.

[tominbkk]

4 minutes ago, cyberfarang said:

It`s Thai etiquette that the dumb Farlang pays the restaurant or bar bill.

 

Well known scam in Thailand: Farlang gets a date with a Thai lady, she arranges a venue for them to meet. She greets her Farlang date at their meeting point, within a few minutes her friend turns up, then followed by more of her friends who are only too happy to meet the hapless Farlang. They decide to hit the town, food, drinks and festivities, Farlang pays for the entertainments throughout the night, then later he goes home alone thinking what a great time he had.

 

Well, I don't have experience hooking up with that kind of lady.  In that kind of situation you are trying to get something from them, and they from you.  Experiences I talk about are where there is already friendship/relationships in place of some kind.  You situation is just everyone trying to take advantage of one another for something or other.

[thaibeachlovers]

24 minutes ago, tominbkk said:

 

If he has the money and enjoys taking them out, then what's the problem?  You may feel that everyone is always trying to take advantage of you, he may have the money and be having a good time treating people to a nice meal.  It's all about the attitude.

Hmmmmm. The people complaining about someone happy to pay for his friends' dinner probably pay way more than they have to for loads of things. It's not about the money as long as one is happy after. Being EXPECTED to pay is a different thing, and that is what this thread is about, not some guy enjoying himself.

[doctorbobo]

We expect to pay for our lady and ourself when we go out to eat but when there is a crowd of people enjoying a meal we should not let them try to get a free meal because we are falangs. It should be  made clear by our lady to the rest of the people that we are paying for our portion of the meal otherwise one may find  that  they are being  made a chump and the Thais are taking extreme advantage of the situation. It doesn't matter that we can, or can not afford to pay, this is a scam to take advantage of falangs.

 

I found this out the hard way when a gf and I first went out to eat and we brought  her dad along. Little did I know that  our seafood meal was going  to include him ordering  additional crabs to take home when  we left. The  next time  she asked me if we could go to a Thai restaurant for a romantic dinner and she brought a sister and a brother (who was actually not a brother but the boyfriend of her sister). Of course mom and dad came along and  before you knew it there were 7 of us there to dine for what I was told would be a romantic dinner.

I made sure to select a nice table upstairs for our meal and after half-way thru the meal, I excused myself to use the bathroom and made a brisk exit and  hoped they enjoyed finishing their meal and picking up the check.

Edited December 2, 2016 by doctorbobo

[theguyfromanotherforum]

 
Sounds like you are promoting a "snobbish" agenda.
Are you, yourself a snob, that avoids poor people?

It's not snobbism. It's self preservation.

[tominbkk]

1 minute ago, thaibeachlovers said:

Hmmmmm. The people complaining about someone happy to pay for his friends' dinner probably pay way more than they have to for loads of things. It's not about the money as long as one is happy after. Being EXPECTED to pay is a different thing, and that is what this thread is about, not some guy enjoying himself.

 

I am talking about expectations as well.  I guess it also depends what you are expecting from the relationship.

[tominbkk]

2 minutes ago, doctorbobo said:

We expect to pay for our lady and ourself when we go out to eat but when there is a crowd of people enjoying a meal we should not let them try to get a free meal because we are falangs. It should be  made clear by our lady to the rest of the people that we are paying for our portion of the meal otherwise one may find  that  they are being  made a chump and the Thais are taking extreme advantage of the situation. It doesn't matter that we can, or can not afford to pay, this is a scam to take advantage of falangs.

 

I found this out the hard way when a gf and I first went out to eat and we brought  her dad along. Little did I know that  our seafood meal was going  to include him ordering  additional crabs to take home when  we left. The  next time  she asked me if we could go to a Thai restaurant for a romantic dinner and she brought a sister and a brother (who was actually not a brother but the boyfriend of her sister). Of course mom and dad came along and  before you knew it there were 7 of us there to dine for what I was told would be a romantic dinner.

I made sure to select a nice table upstairs for our meal and after half-way thru the meal, I excused myself to use the bathroom and made a brisk exit and  hoped they enjoyed finishing their meal and picking up the check.

 

Not much of a gf if she is taking advantage of you like that.  Or that you would do something like that to her.  In a sincere relationship you would be able to talk to her about this and she would show respect to you, and visa versa.

[csabo]

Girl invited me to her families restaurant. They ordered food and beer and had a grand time. I went to use the bathroom and when I returned everyone had left and the girl handed me the check. It was a small price to pay to know I never wanted to see her again.  Next time I was at a dinner party watching all the girls shoving steaks and chops down their throats while my gf and I just shared a charcuterie board. When the bill came they wanted to divide the check evenly (at least they offered that) . I had tallied up my meal already and contributed that amount Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice shame on me.  Farangs do it too. I was alone with a large group including two families of four and an older couple. Check came out and the tried to split it 4 ways meaning I would have paid for 2.75 meals. The older couple caught it and stood up for me preventing an awkward moment.  None of the three incidents were accidents. People run these scams all the time, just not on me.

[tifino]

 

missus and I usually go eat out my ourselves, and whatever we get, we put between us and share

 

 

so, here we were visiting some close 'rellies' in BKK. We were on our last night prior to flying out.

A crowd of endless number of unknowns also  tacked on to the other '2' rellies we were supposed to only be eating out with.

 

We sat down, and more tables were carried closer...

Wife & I ordered our usual steamed vegetarian combo (wife was doing a jay week)

The other peoples rapidly filled the tables with all sorts of gunk...

 

Wife and I sat back, as we were actively avoiding all the rich rubbish that was being ordered by the others.

Eventually, our special order turns up, and as soon as it was placed down, the crowd grabbed our dishes and gorged on it all.

 

"eat, eat, eat" they all called at us, pointing at the combined mess all over the tables.

 

We were pissed, that we didn't get to eat what we specifically wanted

 

All went silent when both of us got up to leave the restaurant...

 

(and we were still hungry from not eating anything btw)

 

We flew out and haven't returned to BKK itself since, and that as 2 years ago.

 

 

wife still gets phone calls for money, but finally she has grown some leather skin to shield herself from weakening...

[Mitkof Island]

25 minutes ago, thaibeachlovers said:

The only time I got food poisoning was when I ate at a posh restaurant in Bkk.

Have heard this often myself. I myself have eaten at hundreds of places throughout Thailand and have never been ill in sixteen years. I guess this guy does not get out much or eats at KFC or Burger King .

[louse1953]

3 hours ago, seancbk said:

I certainly don't go out of my way to make friends with people who are not even close to me on a socio economic or educational level.

Someone who is poor might be a nice person, but I'm not going to have anything in common with them, no shared experiences or shared interests.

It not being snobbish, it's being realistic.

 

 

It's being snobbish.What do you do with your friends,count your money together?

[YeahSiam]

2 hours ago, samsensam said:

 

in my experience the lower class, less educated the girl the higher the likelihood she'll ty it on. i usually date professional women, often thai chinese, and they always offer to pay or share. we usually share or she pays this time, i pay next time.

 

i have on occasion met girls from the lower class and something i have noticed they do is order far too much food. when they cant eat it all they are unable to accept responsibility for ordering so much by saying they ordered it for me - despite the fact they were sitting there when i ordered for myself. i hate this wastefulness and would rather give money to a beggar than waste it on an ignorant greedy girl.

 

'Ere we go.

The old "Thai-Chinese" chestnut.

That train's never late.

[Mitkof Island]

19 minutes ago, tominbkk said:

 

Not much of a gf if she is taking advantage of you like that.  Or that you would do something like that to her.  In a sincere relationship you would be able to talk to her about this and she would show respect to you, and visa versa.

And i wonder where he met her. yea sounds like she has been well trained from experiences with other foreign so called boyfriends.

[lostinisaan]

4 hours ago, catman20 said:

as far as im concerned there are no free lunches in my book, i would pay for her but if i dated a lady and she ask to bring her friend or friends with her i would refuse to see her.

 

 

   But you'd pay a lot of money for your cat's Whiskas, right? 

[lostinisaan]

1 hour ago, louse1953 said:

You sir are a snob.I take everybody as they come,poor,rich all the same to me.Side of the road gai yang restuarant or uppity waste your money seafood restuarant,all the same.

 

 

          He's a Supersnob who shouldn't be allowed to eat in LOS at all. 

[Shawn0000]

6 hours ago, YeahSiam said:

 

Sweeping generalisation.

It depends very much on the class of Thai you're hanging out with.

If you're cheek by jowl with peasants, you'll encounter this type of behaviour far more regularly than if you rub shoulders with better-off Thais.

 

In my experience the poorest are the most generous.

[lkv]

12 minutes ago, louse1953 said:

It's being snobbish.What do you do with your friends,count your money together?

 

I'm on Sean's side on this one. He actually gave solid and logical arguments for his point of view, which I agree with. Comments such as "why are you here with the rest of us" that I have seen from some posters only reflect self frustration about their own social status.

 

He's trying to keep it real.

 

And by the way, had the guy that created the video been....i don't know....middle management back home in Australia, he'd be associating with a different crowd here in Thailand.

Edited December 2, 2016 by lkv

[lkv]

Just now, Mitkof Island said:

The guy in the video is typical foreign trash dealing with low class Thai trash=bar girls. Watch his other videos if you want to be ill. The guy is totally out to lunch and proud of it.

 

That's exactly the point. Trash attracts trash.

[Shawn0000]

2 hours ago, samsensam said:

 

in my experience the lower class, less educated the girl the higher the likelihood she'll ty it on. i usually date professional women, often thai chinese, and they always offer to pay or share. we usually share or she pays this time, i pay next time.

 

i have on occasion met girls from the lower class and something i have noticed they do is order far too much food. when they cant eat it all they are unable to accept responsibility for ordering so much by saying they ordered it for me - despite the fact they were sitting there when i ordered for myself. i hate this wastefulness and would rather give money to a beggar than waste it on an ignorant greedy girl.

 

You get a reasonable impression of the class of the farang by how much they have bothered to learn of Thai culture and how much of their own culture they insist on imposing, ordering food for just yourself being outside of Thai dining etiquette.

[gemguy]

Many of them will try...women more so than men, especially if you invite them out then many (but not all of them of course ) will show up with at least 1 friend on a first date.

Many of them do not have money enough to be eating at a nice restaurant so getting a freebie meal out of a Farang is always a way to save a little money.

Of course many do have more than enough money...but..... the attitude is:

The man pays anyhow, if he asked the girl out ...so they bring along some friends to test the man to see how generous he is with his money.

That is how I more or less came to think about it when I ended up in the company of more than one girl that came with the girl that I asked out.

Or I would say let's go have coffee and talk and if they said let's go eat then I would say I am not hungry or I ate already but you go and eat and meet me again in 1 hour...OK........like that.

That way you test them to see if they are hoping to get a free meal when you are meeting for a first date and if they do meet you again in 1 hour it tells you something about them.

Now...if you meet them and you pay for a meal and pay for the girls friends also and later on, say that same night or in a relative short period of time, say one week, the girl is in your bed with you while you did not invite her rather she invited herself, in a manner of speaking, then the meal or meals paid for are considered worthwhile paying for as they "paid off"...is one way of thinking about it...lol

Cheers

Edited December 2, 2016 by gemguy

[lostinisaan]

6 minutes ago, gemguy said:

Many of them will try...women more so than men, especially if you invite them out then many (but not all of them of course ) will show up with at least 1 friend on a first date.

Many of them do not have money enough to be eating at a nice restaurant so getting a freebie meal out of a Farang is always a way to save a little money.

Of course many do have more than enough money...but..... the attitude is:

The man pays anyhow, if he asked the girl out ...so they bring along some friends to test the man to see how generous he is with his money.

That is how I more or less came to think about it when I ended up in the company of more than one girl that came with the girl that I asked out. 

Or I would say let's go have coffee and talk and if they said let's go eat then I would say I am not hungry or I ate already but you go and eat and meet me again in 1 hours...OK...like that.

That way you test them to see if they are hoping to get a free meal when you are meeting for a first date and if they do meet you again in 1 hour it tells you something about them.

Now...if you meet them and you pay for a meal and pay for the girls friends also and later on, say that same night or in a relative short period of time, say one week, the girl is in your bed with you while you did not invite her rather she invited herself, in a manner of speaking, then the meal or meals paid for are considered worthwhile paying for as they "paid off"...is one way of thinking about it...lol

Cheers

 

 

 

 

 

 Are you on Haldol or are you always like that?

Edited December 2, 2016 by lostinisaan

[Shawn0000]

6 minutes ago, gemguy said:

Many of them will try...women more so than men, especially if you invite them out then many (but not all of them of course ) will show up with at least 1 friend on a first date.

Many of them do not have money enough to be eating at a nice restaurant so getting a freebie meal out of a Farang is always a way to save a little money.

Of course many do have more than enough money...but..... the attitude is:

The man pays anyhow, if he asked the girl out ...so they bring along some friends to test the man to see how generous he is with his money.

That is how I more or less came to think about it when I ended up in the company of more than one girl that came with the girl that I asked out.

Or I would say let's go have coffee and talk and if they said let's go eat then I would say I am not hungry or I ate already but you go and eat and meet me again in 1 hour...OK........like that.

That way you test them to see if they are hoping to get a free meal when you are meeting for a first date and if they do meet you again in 1 hour it tells you something about them.

Now...if you meet them and you pay for a meal and pay for the girls friends also and later on, say that same night or in a relative short period of time, say one week, the girl is in your bed with you while you did not invite her rather she invited herself, in a manner of speaking, then the meal or meals paid for are considered worthwhile paying for as they "paid off"...is one way of thinking about it...lol

Cheers

 

I feel like I have just had a lesson in dating from a 15 year old.

[scorecard]

3 hours ago, DavisH said:

 

It often depends on the income / status of the payer. We will occasionally pay for the wife's family, and sometimes the brother-in-law (who also has a good income. With a doctor friend of ours, we often alternate. But if you invite, you would be expected to pay. None of this farang pays all BS for me. 

 

 

As said above, in Thai culture if you invite you are automatically saying that you will pay the bill.

 

 

A twist, we often ask my son and his wife's best friends (they are husband and wife, very sincere and friendly and respectfull and have very limited income) to a nice meal and we pay the bill.

 

But what always happens quickly, the friends turn up with a pile of not expensive but good Thai foods and cook a wonderful meal at our house for all. 

 

It's their way of saying thank you. In fact a nice balance.