Disrespect me or not ?

[pumpjack]

i have been with thai girl for about 4 years now on-off.  she has had boyfriends in between and i see her when i come back to thailand so a mutual feeling between us and certainly no marriage on the cards. 

today we were in minibus and i feel some connection between her and the driver ( speaking thai ) but i understand a little.  he seems to ask her lot of questions, seems they flirt together  ,  ok, we are only singles, she does her thing i do my thing when i go home. 

 

one thing stands out thought in this conversation between them,   she gets out of mini bus and he helps her out, but breaks her nail on finger a litlle,  i hear them laugh , she says something to him and he replies " idok "  i kind of know this word to be an insult and im wondering what is said,  after some more laughing on the way  and the driver looking constantly at me in his mirror we get off bus,  i press her about the conversation and what was said,  yes im a little paranoid,  she says this " tirak he not say idok " he say    " kidok "     which she roughly translates as  ( how many times do you want me to f....k you )  

 

ok,  so can anyone tell me, drop this girl now for disrespecting me in front of my face   ?  or carry on ?  

 

she says she dont want me to be "  jai ron  "  and argue or yak  with people.   she says tis is normal behavior from a thai man as he thinks she is working " bar "       but im sure you get my meaning.      i just dont want to be with someone who can disrespect me like this,  im not a lealous person and of course she is single as i am  but its all about disrespecting me right in front of my face,   a thai thing against a farang or normal thai man behavior towards a thai girl .

[Jip99]

I think that, with the relationship arrangement you have, you are on stoney ground talking about respect.

[jvs]

Is there really a mutual feeling when you do what you do and she does what she does?
I guess in a way there is.

If she would have real feelings for you she would not be talking to a stranger with you there.

What do you consider respect in this case?

Jip99 makes a point.

[Berkshire]

5555555555...this is classic.  Farangs on TV are always criticizing the Thais about "face."  Well here we have a farang who starts a thread about losing face.  So it does matter afterall.

[HauptmannUK]

You are using her as a 'holiday girlfriend' and there is 'no marriage on the cards'. I don't think respect comes into it...

[kannot]

i tire  of  words  like "respect" totally misused  in  today's  world

[Get Real]

Just carry on! You seem to have a wonderful life. LMAO!

[pgrahmm]

She's a girl about town....You're an intermittent good time....He probably sees her & knows more about her life than you do......

 

[samsensam]

 

if you want to know what she's saying then learn to speak the language

[daveAustin]

She sounds like a keeper.

[klauskunkel]

So, Pumpjack, what have you done to earn her respect? 

[catman20]

27 minutes ago, daveAustin said:

She sounds like a keeper.

[catman20]

what dose the OP expect shes a hooker and working. get over it man.

[Acharn]

Just as a guess, what you write as "idok" I would write as "ee dawk," which is shorthand for "ee dawk thawng," "golden flower" which means "whore," but can be used playfully between friends (I think). From what you say she said, what you write as "kidok" might have been what I would write as "kee yoke". "Yoke" here (meant to rhyme with "joke") is a round in a boxing match, or sexual intercourse one time. "Kee" is "how many." "Ee" is an honorific from the old days which was how you (a free person) addressed a female slave and is complicated. In many circumstances it would be insulting, but might be used affectionately between friends. Trying to use Latin letters to transcribe Thai words is fraught, because there are no standard ways to show phonetics. There is a system approved decades ago by the Council of Pundits, but nobody knows it or uses it.

[dotpoom]

"i just dont want to be with someone who can disrespect me like this"

    

  Are you asking for our permission to leave her?

[lucifer666]

Find a dictionary, look up the word "Respect" then re-read your post.

[leither69]

Grow up and grow some b@#®s

[1FinickyOne]

So, she can have other relations, but they should only be behind your back so that you can pretend that she doesn't? I think you must more clearly explain your fantasies as reality seems to be intruding here. 

[licka]

Show her a large bank balance and give her an ATM card if you want her true love 

[TheFishman1]

Get over it TIT

[mettech]

If she give you great pleasure while you are on holiday here with her that mean she has got her schedule book in order and carry on what you doing and never mind with respect or not.

[williamgeorgeallen]

better to keep your relationships shorter time. i prefer 1 hour as i go. not sure why any one would date a 'woman about town' unless you have kids with her whats the point?

[Docno]

Interesting to see people here trying to impose their definition of a normal/acceptable relationship on someone. These two have found a modus vivendi that was working for them... it may not be your cup of tea. That doesn't mean it's wrong.

 

But I get what the OP is saying. I've seen both men and women in fairly casual relationships become angry at their partner for flirting with others in their presence. And they do see it as an issue of respect just like the OP. I think that the understanding these couples have is that when they are together, they are really 'together'. Respect is about acting in a way that demonstrates you consider the other person to have the same value/worth as yourself. Flirting with someone else in your presence does not demonstrate this... it does the opposite.

 

The mature way for the OP to handle this (the first resort) is to talk it out with the other person and perhaps make the 'shared understanding' of the relationship more explicit so both of you have the same expectations. The less mature way (second resort) is to do the same thing to her so she better understands how you felt. Though that one might blow up in your face, so tread carefully...  

 

[Rc2702]

Lol. hilarious so was the driver constantly looking at you or vice versa?

 

 

[chicowoodduck]

She has exceeded her shelf life...move on....?

[Dexlowe]

I think you've misconstrued the whole thing. Here's what is happening: She is teeing YOU up with the driver, not herself. Now that is respect.

[geriatrickid]

A grown man asking why a woman in the flesh trade does not respect him. What's next,  the question as to why  he is treated like dirt by those around him?

 

[lungnorm]

You seemed to have hooked up to a no good type. Hooker or not she is acting like she is. Get rid of her like she is not the only loose woman in Thailand. Plenty more to pick from.

[jonwilly]

"Plenty more to pick from."

 

Think you right there, like London buses there's always one more coming around the corner.

 

john

[NanLaew]

3 hours ago, Acharn said:

... the Council of Pundits, ...

Now formally know as Thaivisa forum.