How much do you give your wife/gf to spend for food and stuff

[Naam]

12 minutes ago, SmartJoe said:

Short time 800 Long time 1500

dat's 'spensive to mutt! 

[ttthailand]

See how she spends the money you currently give her and if you approve decide based on that how much is enough. Some will spend all no matter how much and others will save or give away.
We are all different and have different ideas regarding are ladies but for me give her enough to buy her basic needs and some shopping and lunches. Control the major cash ! If the girl is taking advantage or is only with you for the money time to look for new. It is a terrible feeling to know that it is only about money and not about love ... don't fall into that trap !


Sent from my iPhone using Thaivisa Connect

[sandrabbit]

Mr bates has run away, he's not following this topic anymore

[dentonian]

If your picking up the Condo bills, transport and entertainment costs, and she's just buying the weekly shop and some personal spending money, I'd suggest 15,000bht a month should suffice. 20,000bht per month should keep her really sweet.

 

 

[JoeBloe]

34 minutes ago, Get Real said:

20 years of marriage and a kid, and you still don´t have a clue about shared economy or how much a waman need to use. Not even know how much it is for food per month.
By the way sorry for my poor english as you mentioned before. It´s just not my native tounge. However, I am so happy that you understand anyway because there seems to be so much in life that you missed.

Down, to the point anyway. You wanted to know how much you should give her per week. As you have a lot of money, it can´t be a problem with around 10-15K. That would keep her happy for a while. Waddaya figure, homie?

This is NOT a shared economy, dork!

And had you read, there is a specific reason for not having living expense details - we are talking about Thailand, not the other 7 countries I've lived in.

[JoeBloe]

8 minutes ago, sandrabbit said:

Mr bates has run away, he's not following this topic anymore

MrBates went for a shit

[1FinickyOne]

2 hours ago, MichaelBates said:

I don't mind if she works, I did not say I did not want her to. I expressed a preference for my partner to be there when I am, i.e. all the time.

 

Nouns are not unique to English and exist in Thai. It is however strange to hear "something", "someone", "somewhere", "that", "it" and so on, in sentences that are context free (no nearby noun). It is an observation, not a complaint, but it makes communication very imprecise - unless like the TV commentarderie, one can read minds.

 

I have been to BigC and the markets often enough. However do you know the ingredients for the 27 different Thai dishes she might like to cook or what they cost? Thought not, neither do I. The one item I know pretty much exactly is "water by the bottle". Shit, I don't even know what a can of beer costs at BigC (I don't drink that much).

 

Not knowing something is not a crime. Asking others for a ballpark number as advice here isn't either.

 

Half (made up statistic) the posts in this thread do not address my initial question or my subsequent posts.

Do you speak any Thai? And is your conversation with her in English? I am not trying to be rude here, but unless she has done this before, had such arrangements, she is probably not sophisticated enough to estimate what your expenses together might be as she really doesn't know... you don't know and I expect you are better educated and more sophisticated than she... what it costs to go to the supermarket is not the same every time as certain ingredients last longer than others and are not needed each trip, you might prefer better quality than she is used to buying. I am sure she is very confused and probably afraid of making a mistake and catching flak for it. 

 

And welcome to Thai visa. I once asked a question about a condo in CM and it turned into a major argument about the noise from the airport... which had nothing to do with my post... 

 

Not knowing something is not a crime. But you were kind of rude to people trying to help you. Calling me illogical when your question is to have others estimate your expenses w/o knowing you, your eating habits, and offering very little information, and asking others expenses, is a bit illogical itself. 

 

I can only recommend this for you and hope it helps. Go with her to the supermarket and pay the bills. Help make the choices. You might want to spring for the big shrimp when she would buy the smallest. Eventually, if you have more trust in her, you will let her go on her own if you don't want to go...

 

BUT - really this figuring the precise cost of things is superficial stuff. If you want a happy companion, treat her with kindness and respect and caring - - work it out together so that you can both be happy. It may take time to get the finances sorted out and communication as well. These languages do not translate well and you might be best focused on intent. My Thai is pretty good and I can have misunderstandings with my wife, it happens. It is never important as there is never ill intent. I think most people can tell you about communication problems when using the same language. 

 

You sound frustrated. She is likely confused. I expect that this is someone you like and she is wanting to make it work too.. don't negotiate, but work it out and most importantly, be kind. I hope it will pay dividends in the end. 

 

 

[elliss]

On 1/27/2017 at 11:05 PM, 473geo said:

Standard living - Ball park 5k baht a week and you pick up the big ticket items, if she is good with food she will save out of this

 

20,000 bht  a   mounth is all  i pay her ,  peanuts .  

  Plus i pay for our  nightly meals out .    CC and proud of it .

     NO ,  buy   house for she , or  pickup .555

[sandrabbit]

8 minutes ago, MichaelBates said:

This is NOT a shared economy, dork!

And had you read, there is a specific reason for not having living expense details - we are talking about Thailand, not the other 7 countries I've lived in.

wow 7 countries, when in a ditch stop digging ....

[JoeBloe]

7 minutes ago, kenk24 said:

Do you speak any Thai? And is your conversation with her in English? I am not trying to be rude here, but unless she has done this before, had such arrangements, she is probably not sophisticated enough to estimate what your expenses together might be as she really doesn't know... you don't know and I expect you are better educated and more sophisticated than she... what it costs to go to the supermarket is not the same every time as certain ingredients last longer than others and are not needed each trip, you might prefer better quality than she is used to buying. I am sure she is very confused and probably afraid of making a mistake and catching flak for it. 

 

And welcome to Thai visa. I once asked a question about a condo in CM and it turned into a major argument about the noise from the airport... which had nothing to do with my post... 

 

Not knowing something is not a crime. But you were kind of rude to people trying to help you. Calling me illogical when your question is to have others estimate your expenses w/o knowing you, your eating habits, and offering very little information, and asking others expenses, is a bit illogical itself. 

 

I can only recommend this for you and hope it helps. Go with her to the supermarket and pay the bills. Help make the choices. You might want to spring for the big shrimp when she would buy the smallest. Eventually, if you have more trust in her, you will let her go on her own if you don't want to go...

 

BUT - really this figuring the precise cost of things is superficial stuff. If you want a happy companion, treat her with kindness and respect and caring - - work it out together so that you can both be happy. It may take time to get the finances sorted out and communication as well. These languages do not translate well and you might be best focused on intent. My Thai is pretty good and I can have misunderstandings with my wife, it happens. It is never important as there is never ill intent. I think most people can tell you about communication problems when using the same language. 

 

You sound frustrated. She is likely confused. I expect that this is someone you like and she is wanting to make it work too.. don't negotiate, but work it out and most importantly, be kind. I hope it will pay dividends in the end. 

 

 

You were illogical (regarding apartment and living time in Thai).

 

I asked "how much people think is a reasonable amount for this (per week/month)". That is a fair question, and I could personally give you a ballpark figure in other countries, so I asked what others who might be in similar home style situations (not expats living in an expensive rental and on expense accounts and eating out 7 days a week).

My only frustration is with the inability of almost all of the posters to address the simple question. You included.

 

Oh, and while we are at it I speak several languages and my former marriage was cross cultural (not in my home country). I really don't need homilies about cross culturalism. Her English is better than yours as far as I can observe from your posts - not a criticism of you, just a comparative observation.

[smotherb]

On 1/27/2017 at 10:29 PM, MichaelBates said:

So, are you saying you "give her all your money"? It is unclear to me from your posts where the source of funds is

I do not know where Ahab's source of funds resides, but I agree with his philosophy.

I have been with my wife for 38 years. She has always taken care of the bills, had good jobs, and contributed to supporting our family and saving for our future. She even has a pension now, and all I have is social security. Our funds and investments are communal; always have been. She is on-draw with our assets, just like I am. You know, like we had a relationship in which we are equal partners who love each other, each respects the honesty of our liaison, and cares about the well-being of the other.

I know that entire concept may be foreign to many of you, but some relationships are not just based on money.

 

Now, to answer MichaelBates’ question. Since it is apparent your partner has no money, I would simply calculate what I think it takes to run the household, and give her extra money to maintain herself for you. The household expenses seem rather easy to compute, especially if you take care of the big items like rent and utilities. Will you eat at home more often than going out? What do your household expenses entail—food, drinks, laundry, toiletries, tuk-tuk, various and sundry other expenses? How much you give her has to take into consideration whether or not she is high maintenance, is sending money home, has kids to support, and how you like her to look.

You have to know the answers to those questions

 

[JoeBloe]

4 minutes ago, sandrabbit said:

wow 7 countries, when in a ditch stop digging ....

Countries lived != Relationships had

[sandrabbit]

2 minutes ago, MichaelBates said:

You were illogical (regarding apartment and living time in Thai).

 

I asked "how much people think is a reasonable amount for this (per week/month)". That is a fair question, and I could personally give you a ballpark figure in other countries, so I asked what others who might be in similar home style situations (not expats living in an expensive rental and on expense accounts and eating out 7 days a week).

My only frustration is with the inability of almost all of the posters to address the simple question. You included.

You refuse to listen keep banging your head against the wall, just get a good internet connection and beat the meat it would make your life so much easier.

[1FinickyOne]

Just now, MichaelBates said:

You were illogical (regarding apartment and living time in Thai).

 

I asked "how much people think is a reasonable amount for this (per week/month)". That is a fair question, and I could personally give you a ballpark figure in other countries, so I asked what others who might be in similar home style situations (not expats living in an expensive rental and on expense accounts and eating out 7 days a week).

My only frustration is with the inability of almost all of the posters to address the simple question. You included.

Really- - if I tell you too little, I will be wrong or too much... just to ask people how much groceries might cost is a pretty silly question to begin with - - isn't it? And your tyrannical demands that people here only address your needs when they enjoy fighting with each other, is a bit much too... 

 

ok - you will spend 15,000 a month on groceries, a Thai can spend less, and if you too spend less, just credit your account... though of course, you don't mention where you are, which does matter. BKK & Phuket being more expensive... 

[JackThompson]

7 hours ago, Naam said:

personally i find it ridiculous to have a wife and children and then send the wife working and make money to contribute to the finances. if you can't afford a wife who takes care of the household and family don't get married.

Agree with this when children are involved - especially when they are young.  But unless/until there are children, she should work. 

 

Absent kids, what is going to "do" all day?  Is she a painter, a writer, or something?  Otherwise, just sitting around trying to decide how to spend (your) money.

[ELVIS123456]

1 hour ago, MichaelBates said:

Jesus H. <deleted> Christ. All I am trying to do is get an idea of the budget for managing the household. Billions of people do this.

 

I don't need relationship advice. I spent almost 20 years married and have a kid. That's all in the past, I starting again. Neither I nor the girl are children, unlike half of the commentarderie here apparently.

I hear you MB - they are unbelievable aint they?  Most of them are not married I think.

 

Suggestion (I did this) - Pay for everything yourself at first and keep a tab on how much it all costs. If she asks for money to pay, say no and that you want to manage the money yourself (I assume she has no income). If she cant accept that and argues about it - think again.

 

If she accepts it and is happy with you (and you with her), then after a couple of months ask if she will manage and pay for the weekly/monthly regular items - like groceries and electric/water - and give her what you know will cover it - and also add a little bit for her (round up to next 1000 baht). Tell her to spend anything left over at end of month on herself (haircuts/clothes etc.) or to buy things she wants for the home (remind her to 'save' each week so that when monthly electric/water comes she can pay - and get the receipts and file them). You pay when you go to movie or restaurant or holiday etc. etc. and you pay the rent and any other larger irregular items - eg. medical or plumber etc etc.

 

Make it clear and be consistent. As things develop you will know what to do and what not to do. Transfer money to her account - or give cash - up to you. Never give her (or family) credit/debit cards or access to your bank/money - not a matter of trust - it is common sense. 

 

I give the wife 4000 baht a week budget.  When I was adding them all up it averaged 3200-3500 a week.  I never ask how she spends the 4K baht - up to her. Been a few years now and never a problem. 

 

PS - we shop weekly at Makro - we buy just about everything there in one go. We sometimes also go to Tops/BigC for additional items. 

[Get Real]

10 minutes ago, MichaelBates said:

This is NOT a shared economy, dork!

And had you read, there is a specific reason for not having living expense details - we are talking about Thailand, not the other 7 countries I've lived in.

Maybe take the safer road. Choose another one as number 8. Also, thanks for the compliment. Dork is actually the nicest thing a heard this year. Good Luck and Cheers, homie!

[Get Real]

Just now, MichaelBates said:

Countries lived != Relationships had

Yes, there must be a reason why. Did you ask other people the same question in all the other countries too? Still LMAO!

[Get Real]

15 minutes ago, MichaelBates said:

MrBates went for a shit

Feel better now?

[JoeBloe]

10 minutes ago, smotherb said:

Now, to answer MichaelBates’ question. Since it is apparent your partner has no money,

 

Another logic failure. No longer working != has no money

 

10 minutes ago, smotherb said:

I would simply calculate what I think it takes to run the household, and give her extra money to maintain herself for you.

That is in fact a paraphrase of my original question

 

The traditional, implicit social contract is that "running household" obvioates that partner from contributing to those costs. Ask the several billion people in the world who have this implied contract.

[JoeBloe]

9 minutes ago, ELVIS123456 said:

I hear you MB - they are unbelievable aint they?  Most of them are not married I think.

 

Suggestion (I did this) - Pay for everything yourself at first and keep a tab on how much it all costs. If she asks for money to pay, say no and that you want to manage the money yourself (I assume she has no income). If she cant accept that and argues about it - think again.

 

If she accepts it and is happy with you (and you with her), then after a couple of months ask if she will manage and pay for the weekly/monthly regular items - like groceries and electric/water - and give her what you know will cover it - and also add a little bit for her (round up to next 1000 baht). Tell her to spend anything left over at end of month on herself (haircuts/clothes etc.) or to buy things she wants for the home (remind her to 'save' each week so that when monthly electric/water comes she can pay - and get the receipts and file them). You pay when you go to movie or restaurant or holiday etc. etc. and you pay the rent and any other larger irregular items - eg. medical or plumber etc etc.

 

Make it clear and be consistent. As things develop you will know what to do and what not to do. Transfer money to her account - or give cash - up to you. Never give her (or family) credit/debit cards or access to your bank/money - not a matter of trust - it is common sense. 

 

I give the wife 4000 baht a week budget.  When I was adding them all up it averaged 3200-3500 a week.  I never ask how she spends the 4K baht - up to her. Been a few years now and never a problem. 

 

PS - we shop weekly at Makro - we buy just about everything there in one go. We sometimes also go to Tops/BigC for additional items. 

Thank you for your insight.

 

What is Makro? I have never even heard of it, and it's been mentioned a couple of times.

[JoeBloe]

11 minutes ago, JackThompson said:

Agree with this when children are involved - especially when they are young.  But unless/until there are children, she should work. 

 

Absent kids, what is going to "do" all day?  Is she a painter, a writer, or something?  Otherwise, just sitting around trying to decide how to spend (your) money.

I don't work either. We spend our time together doing whatever we feel like.

[alien365]

15k-20k. Any less and I'd say it'd be tight for her to feel comfortable, anymore and it would be overly generous in my opinion. You know your gf better than any of us though so use your gut instinct.

 

My missus does her hair, pays for yoga, massages, buys food, coffee, clothes (for her and me), shoes, shoes, shoes, shoes and spends 20k a month. She'd be more stressed and less happy if she had any less. 

[dentonian]

Makro are food wholesalers, but open to public as well as trade.

You need to apply for a card.

[ELVIS123456]

Makro is the biggest supermarket chain in Thailand - stores everywhere. They sell just about everything. 

[JoeBloe]

9 minutes ago, Get Real said:

Yes, there must be a reason why. Did you ask other people the same question in all the other countries too? Still LMAO!

Well, my wife lived in most of them too and most of the others were before I was married. Does that make you feel better?

[AlexRich]

1 hour ago, sandrabbit said:

1st movie was good, 2nd was rubbish .....

"My Thai Bride" Ted ... not the Wahlberg movie.

[JoeBloe]

13 minutes ago, Get Real said:

Maybe take the safer road. Choose another one as number 8. Also, thanks for the compliment. Dork is actually the nicest thing a heard this year. Good Luck and Cheers, homie!

The ad hominem approach was begun by you, mine was a measured response.

[sandrabbit]

1 minute ago, AlexRich said:

"My Thai Bride" Ted ... not the Wahlberg movie.

lol I know, sound of screaming reel ........................

[AlexRich]

1 hour ago, Get Real said:

20 years of marriage and a kid, and you still don´t have a clue about shared economy or how much a waman need to use. Not even know how much it is for food per month.
By the way sorry for my poor english as you mentioned before. It´s just not my native tounge. However, I am so happy that you understand anyway because there seems to be so much in life that you missed.

Down, to the point anyway. You wanted to know how much you should give her per week. As you have a lot of money, it can´t be a problem with around 10-15K. That would keep her happy for a while. Waddaya figure, homie?

10-15k per week?

 

Get real Get Real!