Midweek rant: In Defense of Thai Men

 

 

BANGKOK: -- To read the content of some online forums about Thailand you would be led to believe that Thai men are the devil incarnate.

 

They have no redeeming features, or so the comments expound.

 

In short, Thai men are beer swilling, Ya Ba taking, wife beating misogynist layabouts who beat their own children then abandon them at the drop of a hat to go off with the mia noi.

 

They gamble and cheat and live off the earnings of Thai women, without whom, the whole country would fall apart. They enjoy a superior position in society which is not merited, we are constantly reminded.

 

When one of their own attacks a woman in the street they turn the other way ignoring her plight. They only spring into action, the detractors continue, when the odds are about ten to one in their favor attacking with fists flailing and boots connecting with heads as their defenseless victims writhe on the floor pleading for mercy.

 

Give it a rest.

 

The comments seen continually from many in the foreign community smack of nothing more than ignorant and belligerent racism. For some reason the females of Thailand have been endowed with all the blessings while the men are castigated for everything that is wrong with the country.

 

Occasionally you will see someone who speaks up for Thai men, but it is a rarity.

 

The reality is that a great number of foreign men are engaging in the very same pack mentality bullying that they accuse the Thai men of. In this it is the classic behavior of the bully – they hide behind their keyboards spouting some kind of western superiority.

 

We are constantly reminded of how they are braver, stronger, more moral, smarter…superior in every way.

 

And of course if it came to a fight, a fair one, one on one with fists, the Thai would go screaming home to mummy while the westerner would cover himself in glory for saving the day and preserving everything that is right and good in the human race.

 

Many have repeated this nonsense so much that they take it as some kind of home truth and they drag more relative newcomers to Thailand down to the same level with their banal rhetoric.

 

The root cause is probably inadequacy. Deprived of the rights of their homeland and struggling with not just the language but the intricacies of the culture they feel the need to attack and like the bully they pick on Thai men. They also choose to believe stories they hear from bar girls without questioning the latter’s propensity to have an axe to grind.

 

They point to the sensationalism of the news as a justification for their views for is there not always a Thai man behaving badly towards a woman, a step-father beating his children to a pulp or a lying, cheating husband pumping his wife full of lead for having a go at him, causing him to lose face.

 

Of course these stories exist, but do the detractors not stop to think that these occur anywhere. Do they not ponder for a second of all the good that the great majority of Thai men do for their families? Has it not crossed their mind that there might be better if they only looked?

 

Because, just like the vast majority of people the world over, there are good and bad but the largest number of Thai men are like those anywhere…good, honest people. People worth getting to know.

 

Where does the bias come from?

 

Many western men gravitate to the bar scene in Thailand – it is not only the women of the bars that blight their view of the Thai

population. It is the men too.

 

They see bouncers. They see men delivering their girlfriends to work at night. They see a part of society that is hardly representative of the whole. They have almost no contact with the Thai middle class, let alone the hi-so elements who they tar with the same brush even though they have no contact with them either. And as referred to earlier – they trust the views of Thai prostitutes as somehow representative of the opinions that Thai women have of their men.

 

Really, littlehas changed from the days of the 1960s when the Americans thought they could go to Vietnam for an easy win. Tooled up with overwhelming military superiority they went in to kick some Gook Butt only to get their own derriere’s thoroughly whooped by the little fellas.

 

The excuses came out of course and with it resentment seethed. Now Americans and everybody else are back at it, expounding their supposed superiority on a new target. Accuse them of racism and they deny it, saying that it is the Thai men who are racist.

 

In much of the first decade I was here I was influenced by the bar scene and that caused a lack of knowledge of Thai men. I must admit though I kept it to myself, I thought Thai women superior to the men. I learnt Thai but always from women – I had to be careful I did not sound like one when I spoke.

 

But that was before I really met any Thai men. In the last twenty five years I have met hundreds more Thai men than women, men mostly from the middle class; and I have learnt to respect them greatly.

 

Of all the people I have ever met in my life in the west and in Thailand I would put more Thai men in my ‘top ten’ than any other

nationality.

 

Why?

 

Because I have met smart Thai men. I have met family oriented Thai men who care about their wives and children. I have met Thai men who care about others, care about their country and society; Thai men who are moral, well-adjusted and basically, just plain likeable.

 

To the point now where I wouldn’t make any major distinction between the men and women of the country. Of course there are bad as well as good but in my view the good far outweigh the bad.

 

Of course, this writer is not a Thai man but neither am I what some call a Thai apologist. I am as much a critic of the society as the next man, perhaps more so. But in nearly four decades in Thailand I have tried to understand the people and their  perspectives. All people. I have tried to gain a broader idea of the society. And I am still trying.

 

So I would just like to say to those who are constantly having a go at Thai men.

 

Do you really know any? Have you tried to talk to any? Have you made any effort to get to know your fellow man or are you just happy to display your ignorant superiority complex because that is the easiest way to look good beside your western mates?

 

Try and meet some Thai men. Make some friends. Get some balance away from the hype of your little bubble.

 

And you may just start to see another side to Thai men.

 

-- © Copyright Thai Visa News 2017-03-22

5 minutes ago, webfact said:

Of course there are bad as well as good but in my view the good far outweigh the bad.

Probably the same wherever you go, however, only the bad, usually, gets the publicity.

There is a real divide between people that live (actually WANT to live!) in places like Pattaya and Phuket and those of us that live out in the sticks. Consider the kind of remark you occasionally see excusing the writer from learning the Thai language, along the lines of "They only say bad things about us so why bother?". 

I myself have even been insulted for trying to live like a Thai because I have a few animals about the place. I take advantage of what Thai society has to offer as far as I can and that includes finding out who to trust and who not.

Thai Men? I met just as many, if not more, a*******s in Farangland as I do here. They are different, that's for sure.

Not totally untrue, but after soon 17 years in Thailand not even this article is going to change my opinion of the thai man.

There are of course men that are ok, and I have many thai friends too.

What is the problem is that too many people are scared of a discussion when you must solve a dispute with words. Istead they resport to violence as a quicker and more easy way to get rid of the problem at the moment.

 

Of course it depends on what you compare with. If that i Monaco, then it´s a catastrophy. If you compare to Libya it´s like heaven on earth.

 

Fake news aka alternative facta is i think the current buzz word for rambling opinion articles.

Zzzzzzzzzzz.....Oooooooo........Zzzzzzzzz..........Oooooooo

The stereotypes don't just drop from the sky. They tend to emerge from experience. The decent bloke type is the minority around here.

Boring... Move on the the next topic.

Policeman's son beats man to death.

Yes Thai men are really nice.

Sent from my BLL-L22 using Thaivisa Connect mobile app

This bloke defends Thai males by trouncing Western males; nice counter. I too have many Thai friends (and have nothing to do with any bar scene), from peasants to hi-so business owners and everything in-between. Many of them are wonderful, but I am under no illusion that if they were made to lose face a lot of them would lash out and lose all reason. His spending serious time here means nothing if all he is seeing is the placid good side. Generally, they can be the nicest blokes in the world to be around when at peace (and I prefer to be around Thais than my own)... just don't wind them up. And don't play snooker.

Notice the writers name is not displayed. My guess is that he is not a thai basher but instead, a foreigner basher. This article only points to a several few whom he has met which, if compared to how many bad thai man make the headlines each week, is incomparable. I also had done the bar scene for several years. And if you actually talk to thai ladies either in a bar or online. They do not want a thai man for the very same reasons he quotes in the first 2 paragraphs of this ridiculous story. If course I am sure he also may have met a good thai man or 2. But i am just as sure he didn't know those men so personally to be sure they were not the same as the typical thai man.
I am neither a thai basher not prejudice. But i believe what i see and have learnt from experiences. This article is rubbish

Since I started living abroad I have come to realise that the world is indeed small. Although culture and tradition can vary a lot from country to country, people on the whole are very similar where ever you go. The only difference with between a foreigner and a Thai is the language barrier. Once you can speak a little Thai you can see that Thai's are the same as you. But there are some differences that I would put down to culture. Most of the time Thai men are easy going and chilled out, only acting agressive in extreme cases. Where as the western man is very macho and uses agression a lot more to get his way although it's not meant to upset anyone as underneath they are just also easy going and nice guys.

 

The coward factor when gangs beat up one person or vunerable people is also not just a Thai man trait. It happens globally. But when a Thai man fights it's months of stored up agression released and can be over violent. Usually when a western man fights its a bop on the nose and thats it.

 

The question I hope the OP writer will ask in a future article is the difference between Thai women and western women. I have many positive things to say on that.

 

 

 

 

So not so much in defense of Thai men as having a pop at Western men?

Thais are the same as us? 

 

well Mr. Experts...... THEY don't think so.... and maybe they might know themselves better than some of us.... eh?

 

imagine you, as well as everyone in your family, and all your friends, and friends of your friends... and friends of friends of your family... etc.... have never ****read**** even ****one**** single novel.

 

novel. read. as in thoroughly enjoyed. enthralled. can't wait to pick up another book and read that one too.... a Love of Learning... and sharing. 

and that in most any survey.... the 1st or 2nd favorite pastime of almost all of us..... regardless of culture..... is a close call between either travel or....... reading books... with everything else way down the list.  

the same? books are the most important SOCIAL activity we share with each other. they extend our perspectives, our Theory of Mind... they enable us to think and share.... and send 2 folks around the moon again next year. by reading a book (according to Elon Musk).
 

now ponder.... and imagine.... using the IPA or Webster's Guide to spell out every one of our 40 plus vowels (in English) instead of using a,e,i,o,u.... and no spaces between words.... with additional dohdads for syllable stress and intonation... for your first as well as second language (diglossia).

just to get started.  because we left out "school".... 

http://newsletter.thaivisa.com/l/80JvQpy4F763IZJWxIvkNCXQ/EILACSI776Mnyh7YqULrCg/DfiQYYpHqUcgy2cPLcqsNA

 

Need we say any more..........

Can't agree with the OP I'm afraid.. I've known quite a lot of Thai men and don't live in the main cities but out in the sticks. There is a underlying anger and resentment simmering under the surface with most young Thai men.late teens and in there 20's . It's nothing to do with Falang it's all about face and feeling they are always compromised in some way. The class system effects everyone so much and the constant hand to mouth and the need to have the latest everything is just not sustainable . It's sad but it's inherent in all the guys I've met. They do also have no sense of responsibility generally which can't lead to happy times and I'm sure will mean loads of animosity from previous partners .

Bottom line though is the lack of education and awareness of the need to learn. That's not there fault though it's the authorities fault for continuous failures to address the education setups . Again loss of face and reluctance to fail anyone or pull them up is a major issue. Another is the unjustified level a Thai male is held in by family . Almost seems like they can be a protected species which they clearly haven't earned . 

Around where I lived outside Lamphun there was maybe 15 or more young late teen or mid 20's males who basically only got there ass into gear when really pushed and none held a regular job and there was work available . Spending all there evenings from around 5 sitting in little pop up bars on the roadside etc drinking whisky and getting stupidly drunk . 

Sorry in my experience the younger Thai males most are useless . The older ones in there 50/60's I know all seem fine and have a good work ethic although of course also like the whisky .

 

who wrote the article?  what a load of BS the problem is there is no extensive law to protect women and the men who continually don't live up to their responsibilities. I have met some very nice Thai guys but they are the exception

Aren't they also known for having the 2nd shortest Willies in the world, right after the Indians ?

oh shoot...

I was reading about the policeman's son who beat someone to death with a snooker cue and now I don't have time to read this story. Maybe I can get back to it later.

of course we have all heard the stories from our thai girls about how bad they were treated by their ex thai boyfriends. needs to be taken with a grain of salt of course as most of them continue to see thai guys on the side.

Writing that article on TVF, is a bit like going to a KKK rally and loudly saying that some blacks are OK

41 minutes ago, Nigeone said:

Can't agree with the OP I'm afraid.. I've known quite a lot of Thai men and don't live in the main cities but out in the sticks. There is a underlying anger and resentment simmering under the surface with most young Thai men.late teens and in there 20's . It's nothing to do with Falang it's all about face and feeling they are always compromised in some way. The class system effects everyone so much and the constant hand to mouth and the need to have the latest everything is just not sustainable . It's sad but it's inherent in all the guys I've met. They do also have no sense of responsibility generally which can't lead to happy times and I'm sure will mean loads of animosity from previous partners .

Bottom line though is the lack of education and awareness of the need to learn. That's not there fault though it's the authorities fault for continuous failures to address the education setups . Again loss of face and reluctance to fail anyone or pull them up is a major issue. Another is the unjustified level a Thai male is held in by family . Almost seems like they can be a protected species which they clearly haven't earned . 

Around where I lived outside Lamphun there was maybe 15 or more young late teen or mid 20's males who basically only got there ass into gear when really pushed and none held a regular job and there was work available . Spending all there evenings from around 5 sitting in little pop up bars on the roadside etc drinking whisky and getting stupidly drunk . 

Sorry in my experience the younger Thai males most are useless . The older ones in there 50/60's I know all seem fine and have a good work ethic although of course also like the whisky .

 

Yes-that is a very good description of what happens around here with the added proviso that they are fully aware of the ineluctable fact that they will be totally nurtured in their dysfunctional behaviour by grannies,mothers ,sisters and daughters who will feed and support the co-dependent,non working,whiskey swilling males for their entire lives.

3 hours ago, Get Real said:

Not totally untrue, but after soon 17 years in Thailand not even this article is going to change my opinion of the thai man.

After going on for 30 years living and working here the article is not going to change my opinion either.

 

I blame the education system, the Thai males I have met that have a good education are good people, the Thai males that come from poor community's and have endured the exceedingly poor education system tend to be as per the article, thats the way its meant to be isn't it?

1 hour ago, LannaGuy said:

who wrote the article?  what a load of BS the problem is there is no extensive law to protect women and the men who continually don't live up to their responsibilities.

Who? A guy who's been here only 40 years, never met a policeman but who suffers from SWS (small willy syndrome)

 

having said that I have been here as long, or longer, met a very broad cross section of Thai society and have to agree that there is an issue with many Thai men... but then men are only small boys in long pants....

Interesting stats here regarding violent crime nation/per capita etc. Whilst not gender specific it does give us an insight, given that world wide most violent crimes are perpetrated by males.

 

http://www.nationmaster.com/country-info/stats/Crime/Violent-crime/Murder-rate-per-million-people#2011

We got our April's 1st earlier this year???

The truth is you get ass... in every society. I have met great foreign and Thai men and I have met ass..... I have read about foreigners killing Thai men/women/gf/wives and I have read about Thai's killing foreigners. I have read about foreigners killing each other and about Thai's doing the same. To generalise about Thai men narrows ones vision and makes one subjective towards them. Much better to evaluate each person on his own.

4 hours ago, jonclark said:

Fake news aka alternative facta is i think the current buzz word for rambling opinion articles.

For your information,  truth has been labeled, "fake news." An "alternative fact," on the other hand, would be the term reserved for ideas that individuals such as yourself have rattling around in their heads, euphemistically referred to as "opinions," which apparently compel individuals to attack edification in all its forms, while blindly attempting to nullify knowledge by calling it anything other than what it actually is.

 

This results in an act that reveals a great deal more about the perpetrator's paranoiac state of mind, than anything else. Marginalizing others, even were it possible to actually do so, is always done in vain. The truth concerning the would-be character assassin is the only thing made more apparent by doing this. You see, a well-balanced individual would grasp for knowledge much in the same way a drowning man would a rope. Which, for most of us, is the go-to response.

Lamentably for some, thinly veiled ad hominem attacks work only slightly better when time is taken to apprehend the terminology attempting to be used, though you might want to give that a go. Just bear in mind holding opinions will not usually do you in, while ill-advisedly sharing them most certainly will. Also, the term you were looking for was, "commentary." You also might want to look up "rambling." You're welcome. Enjoy your new president.

Hmm, all I know is there seems to be a sweet spot for retired farangs with many Thai ladies, having children, needing some financial help after their breakup with aThai guy (bless their hearts). I am here to help!

7 hours ago, webfact said:

Midweek rant: In Defense of Thai Men

 

-- © Copyright Thai Visa News 2017-03-22

I do agree with everything you have stated, very good of you to state this.  I am assuming that Webfact wrote this or, just published it. No byline. 

2 hours ago, CGW said:

After going on for 30 years living and working here the article is not going to change my opinion either.

 

I blame the education system, the Thai males I have met that have a good education are good people, the Thai males that come from poor community's and have endured the exceedingly poor education system tend to be as per the article, thats the way its meant to be isn't it?

Been here around 20 years and I completely agree.  I've met,mixed and worked with quite a range of Thai men from various socio-economic backgrounds. The majority have one thing in common, they  have great difficulty taking and accepting responsibility. I think this can be traced back to the way they are treated as children i.e. as little emperors.I'm no psychologist but that is my take on it. Their treatment of women, in general, is appalling.