Job Performance Evaluations

[wowpow]

>

> > 1. "Since my last report, this employee has reached rock bottom and has

> started to dig."

>

> 2. "I would not allow this employee to breed."

>

> > 3. "This employee is really not much of a has-been, but more of a

> definite won't be."

>

> > 4. "Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat

> in a trap."

>

> > 5. "When she opens her mouth, it seems it is only to change feet."

>

> > 6. "He would be out of his depth in a parking lot puddle."

>

> > 7. "This young lady has delusions of adequacy."

>

> > 8. "He sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to

> achieve them."

>

> > 9. "This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot."

>

> > 10. "This employee should go far, and the sooner he starts, the better."

>

> > 11. "Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thing to hold it all

> together."

>

> > 12. "A gross ignoramus --- 144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus."

>

> > 13. "He doesn't have ulcers, but he's a carrier."

>

> > 14. "I would like to go hunting with him sometime."

>

> > 15. "He's been working with glue too much."

>

> > 16. "He would argue with a signpost."

>

> > 17. "He brings a lot of joy whenever he leaves the room."

>

> > 18. "When his IQ reaches 50, he should sell."

>

> > 19. "If you see two people talking and one looks bored, he's the other

> one."

>

> > 20. "A photographic memory, but with the lens cover glued on."

>

> > 21. "A prime candidate for natural DE-selection."

>

> > 22. "Donated his brain to science before he was done using it."

>

> > 23. "Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't

> coming."

>

> > 24. "He's got two brains, one is lost and the other is out looking for

> it."

>

> > 25. "If he were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week."

>

> > 26. "If you gave him a penny for his thoughts, you'd get change."

>

> > 27. "If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean."

>

> > 28. "It's hard to believe he beat out 1,000,000 other sperm."

>

> > 29. "One neuron short of a synapse."

>

> > 30. "Some drink from the fountain of knowledge; he only gargled."

>

> > 31. "Takes him two hours to watch '60 Minutes."

>

> > 32. "The wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead."

>