Finally Ran Out Of Excuses Of Why I Can't Go.

[Cuban]

The fact that no one is saying anything very negative about the first visit says alot. Doing your research (here amoung other places) before going up country is wise. Depending on how you are travelling will control how much stuff you take with you, driving yourself in any form of 4x4 pickup truck is IMHO the best option all round.

As this is the first visit for you to the village first impressions count, both ways.

The key to maintaining good relations between you and your SO/GF during difficult or uncerntain situations is communication, you can not over emphise this. To aid your understanding of the whole village and family structure spend some time before you go drawing out an extended family tree and who's who of the village, this information is gold.

After two years with my GF I did this and discovered people who I had been introduced to as sisters were not, sister is a VERY over used word, as was the phrase "..my brother you..". Also it explained why two of the children that I considered related were not and why one was happy and the other less so. Having the family tree also allows GF to clearly explain the people that you need to be seen to be polite to as they are the high status people within the family that need to be seen to be respected by the lower members. As a rich farang you will probably wipe the floor status/money wise, but if you are seen to show respect to some key people YOU will earn big respect amoung the villagers and cerntainly your GF. Remember it costs you nothing - but your visit will be talked about for a long time. Things I ate two years ago are still remembered and commented upon today.

Likewise with the good, ask who are the people that need to be treated with caution. In busy social situations having a secret code between you and GF is useful when spoken English/Thai can not be used, a discret pull on the thumb for Good (or Yes) and pat the arm for Bad (or No) is useful at times. Many villages will have a few people that are up to no good and they will turn up at parties and other gatherings, kicking them out does not appear to be the Thai way, as some of them are related etc. It's wise to avoid getting too close when they are working to their own agenda and your GF is too quiet to step in and tell you the truth from the hip. You can tell I have had to learn about such people the hard way.

So as well as you telling your GF what your fears, needs and concerns are, get her to tell (and list on paper) what things are important for you to do or not do when you are there. With that in mind, practice with squat toilets and taking a nail brush is wise, following on from that taking a supply of anti-diarrhea medication along with other basics is very wise. I now have a comprehensive medical kit upcountry which I resupply and add to each time we go.

The comments above on food are good, most stuff is OK, remind GF about what you consider too spicy to avoid incidents where you spit out mother's best Tom Som onto the picture of the King, describing such a situation will ensure she doesn't allow that to happen. Ask to see the family's special home made fermented fish pot, but avoid eating for the two hours before or after that encounter.

Eating out is a big event and you will probably be looked upon to take everyone out for a meal, generally this is not hugely expensive and will earn you brownie points. You might want to understand who is being invited and if you can ensure that all the various children are brought along. Having children there will limit how late people want to stay away from home and this will have a controlling factor on the amount of whiskey that the Thai men will drink. From a learning experiance I now limit how much whiskey is being bought on my check bin,

Last year I hosted a party for 25, the bill was 5,500 Baht not too bad for a huge amount of food and soft drinks. However when reading the bill later I found that 1,250 Baht was for whiskey and brandy drunk by three Thai men - IMHO taking the piss. They are now on a alcohol ban if they come with us again, and two of the three are not family anyway. Having that family tree diagram is useful.

This sort of leads on to a problem in many villages, the reason that drinking is common is boredom, once the rice is planted/havested there is little to do in the evenings. Drinking, gambling and some drug use can be a problem in some places. Every village will have a house that acts as the local focus, I hope your "family" are not involved, these people are a pain.

"...found a chair for me and seemed confused when I declined and joined them on the floor." Generally Thais understand that farang can not sit on the floor, certainly for long periods at the temple/Wat etc. Sitting to eat a meal is no big issue but just accept the offers of cushions that you will get.

Cameras, MP3 players, laptop etc etc. This is where having your car is very useful, you can bring things out one at a time and control peoples desire to hold, touch and investigate. Having some Thai music on your MP3 player can be useful, use your GF to choose suitable music to download or buy on MP3/CD. Pictures either printed or on your laptop are very useful to communicate with the village locals, I also travel with a blow up globe, this is great for pointing out your home country in relation to Thailand and countries that they have heard of but no idea how big or where they are in relation to anywhere else. I suggest that most of the time all you need to do is take simple snap shots of family and friends at dinner and at play. The instant gratification of seeing the image on the LCD screen is good, but editting the shots on your laptop during the evening (most villages go to sleep at 10pm) and getting prints done in the nearest town is priceless. Prints are cheap and many places can accept .JPGs by USB stick etc. Takes loads of pictures and leave them the best as their prints, this has a big impact on the village and increases your face if you get the right image of the right person. Also taking pictures from your home country is good, even if you have downloaded pictures from the internet to help explain you/your family/your life-work etc.

If GF family are farmers, consider putting together a small portfolio on farming from your part of the world and a few images of what a food market looks like in your home town and the nearest big city. These are images and ideas that transfer very easily across the world as everyone has a handle on food. With that in mind consider taking a few things with you that you can easily cook to show them strange farang food. I have presented GFs family with Vegemite, they seriously dislike this as it is to salty, they adore lemon and sugar pancakes (easy to make and they were stunned at seeing a farang cook let alone toss pancakes) and were quite impressed with grilled pork chops with boiled veg. although mustard is too hot for their tender Thai mouths !

You mentioned the value of your camera compared to their annual earnings, depending on the area causal farm labourers will get 200 Baht a day when they are working and they do not work every day, office type workers in cities can see 5-10,000 a month. Use figures like this to understand the value of things locally. When spending time out in the wilds having a lot of 20 Baht notes is much more useful than a few 1,000 Baht notes.

"I don't want to look like a show off.", if they are rual people they are unlikely to have a good understanding of how expensive things are, your 3,000 Baht trousers look the same as the 200 Baht trousers sold in the local market. Remember this when playing with the dogs. I tend to dress down now when visiting the village, and carry a change of clothes in the car as i get messy playing with eth kids and the dogs.

Talking of dogs, most are freindly if you are introduced to them, remind your GF of this - she will forget. Thais deal with barking dogs with sticks, use this approach when you have to, however over a period of time I have many of the village dogs "tamed" now so they bark untill I get out of the car and they smell me then wag tails etc.

You didn't mention where you were going (no big issue - your business) but consider looking at any major attractions in the area or on your way there, if you are spending a few days there it can be nice to have a day out tucked up your sleeve. Likewise see where the nearest hotel is, if you are planning on regular visits out in Issan it's nice to have a bolt hole you can rely on. Aircon, a soft bed and TV can aid/speed recovery from food posioning.

Other stuff to take. I don't think you mentioned how long you and GF have been together or how big the direct family are but a passing visit to Big C might be something you want to do, if only for a small stock of food for you. Shoes are something Thai families go through at an amazing rate, they are also cheap. (loop) maybe a few shared toys, frisbee, balls, maybe a kite during the current windy weather etc. Would all be welcomed. Things that require any organization or thinking seem less well recieved or understood. Trying to raise the general IQ of a village, family or person (adult or child) is difficult unless you can isolate them from the disruptive aspects around them. A laptop will be seen by every younger male as the thing that only provides games or internet porn rather than for any other use, when your desktop screen is not full of familiar game icons they loose interest quickly. It's encounters like this where you see the gulf between cultures. Taking colouring crayons and books for any children is welcomed.

Walking out in the wilds. Great - do it. Rual Thais don't (please correct me if others have seen this) go for a walk for the sake of talking a walk. You will get a lot of, "Be Nei" - 'Where are you going?' Take your phone and don't get too lost. Beware some places do have snakes etc. but you also get to see things like rice field crabs, interesting birds and insects.

Other farangs inthe village can be a welcome break from being the only Western face for a few days. Depending on the people involved establishing or getting involved in the local farang network can be a good idea. Building on those links is one of my targets for 2007, bringing in hard to get farang food locally is a good ice breaker.

I've rabbited on a bit, I'm having a slow day here - hope some is useful info.

[soihok]

I've rabbited on a bit.

No

Please,,,,carry on !

[Gary A]

Years ago before I met my wife I had a girlfriend from Surin. She finally talked me into visiting her family. They actually lived about 50 kilometers out from Surin city and it was in the boonies. The house was built up on stilts Thai style. Our mattress was on the floor but there was a bamboo frame with mosquito netting around the mattress. We sit around talked and drank beer and Sang Som. I should have stuck to the Sang Som because of the couple trips to the outhouse in the dark after drinking all that beer. The girlfriend wouldn't let me go alone and insisted on going with me. It's a good idea to take a decent flashlight along with you. The next morning it was pretty cold and I was reluctant to take the cold bucket shower. Never fear. The girlfriend had the charcoal fire going strong and had the family clothes washing tub in the outhouse. She heated the water and had it mixed to just the right temperature. I asked her why she wouldn't let me go to the outhouse by myself and she told me that she didn't want the big snake to scare me. For some reason it likes to stay in the outhouse. They let it alone because they say it eats rats and that they no longer have any rats. I'm not afraid of snakes but running into a big one would have scared me some. All in all it was interesting.

I suggest taking a good flashlight, some books and one of the Internet capable phones. At that time, I would have killed for the Nokia N80 that I have now. Watching the chickens, ducks and buffalo only keeps you from getting bored for a while.

My wife had her own two bedroom western style home the first time I went up with her. After buying a new mattress, a water pump, a hot water shower, farang toilet, rewiring the house and putting in window screens it was comfortable enough. I'm still here.

[OneeyedJohn]

I like what Cuban has posted..it's absolutelutely spot on .

It is quite sweet someone asking about what we went through 25 years ago, but that is exactly the the way it is and was.

I can only confirm the welcome one gets from these people is enormous in terms of their generosity compared to our relative wealth.

One can't overstate how much they go out of their way to make you feel welcome and comfortable.

I used to visit never thinking I would end up living here, so I hope you have a similar pleasant experience

[SanukJoe]

Years ago before I met my wife I had a girlfriend from Surin. She finally talked me into visiting her family. They actually lived about 50 kilometers out from Surin city and it was in the boonies. The house was built up on stilts Thai style. Our mattress was on the floor but there was a bamboo frame with mosquito netting around the mattress. We sit around talked and drank beer and Sang Som. I should have stuck to the Sang Som because of the couple trips to the outhouse in the dark after drinking all that beer. The girlfriend wouldn't let me go alone and insisted on going with me. It's a good idea to take a decent flashlight along with you. The next morning it was pretty cold and I was reluctant to take the cold bucket shower. Never fear. The girlfriend had the charcoal fire going strong and had the family clothes washing tub in the outhouse. She heated the water and had it mixed to just the right temperature. I asked her why she wouldn't let me go to the outhouse by myself and she told me that she didn't want the big snake to scare me. For some reason it likes to stay in the outhouse. They let it alone because they say it eats rats and that they no longer have any rats. I'm not afraid of snakes but running into a big one would have scared me some. All in all it was interesting.

I suggest taking a good flashlight, some books and one of the Internet capable phones. At that time, I would have killed for the Nokia N80 that I have now. Watching the chickens, ducks and buffalo only keeps you from getting bored for a while.

My wife had her own two bedroom western style home the first time I went up with her. After buying a new mattress, a water pump, a hot water shower, farang toilet, rewiring the house and putting in window screens it was comfortable enough. I'm still here.

Great post, now I know why I always stick to sang som, although the toilet (well still call it like that) is inside the house. Very funny that most guys posting here bought a water heater for the shower me too.

Joe

[SanukJoe]

One thing I have to add to my first time experience.

In spite of being poor, still all family members (brothers/sister) having a job, on the day of our wedding, after the ceremony, the 2 brothers came with the pick up to the house, loaded with speakers and audio stuff. I had outed that I would like to have some music, I even thought of hiring traditional dancers but my wife said too paeng. So I thought there is the music. Forget it, it was a highly popular thing called KARAOKE!!! I hate karaoke, mainly because I can't sing. Clever enough I had told my wife time after time that I will never sing, so I was not worried. Ok, everything was build up outside, including TV screen and it started. I must admit that seeing and hearing a bunch of beautiful (even my MIL) Isaan ladies singing brought tears in my eyes. I realised this is my future, this is what I love, this is what I want. I suddenly realised I had entered paradise, not because of wealth or material things, but because of warm hearted people who do everything to make you feel happy, and of course because of my wife and 3 kids whom I love to pieces.

Joe

[kebabman7]

Earplugs - the one thing I couldn't handle on my first trip was being woken up by the many cockerells that started crowing at 4 o'clock in the morning and the chorus of dogs barking Second trip I took earplugs and slept without problems

Many people seemed to have installed water heaters for a shower - must admit the first time I had to shower using a pan and cold water came as a shock to the system, but suppose it builds character. How much does it cost for a heated shower system? Might invest in installing one next visit.

[Gary A]

Earplugs - the one thing I couldn't handle on my first trip was being woken up by the many cockerells that started crowing at 4 o'clock in the morning and the chorus of dogs barking Second trip I took earplugs and slept without problems

Many people seemed to have installed water heaters for a shower - must admit the first time I had to shower using a pan and cold water came as a shock to the system, but suppose it builds character. How much does it cost for a heated shower system? Might invest in installing one next visit.

You can buy a hot water shower starting about 2,500 baht. Unfortunately that's not the end of it. You then need wiring heavy enough to run the thing. The smallest shower will need wiring to supply at least 3,500 watts. Mine takes 5,500 watts. You can install a single 30 amp breaker directly off the main coming in and use that for just the water heater. Even with that chances are that you are still not finished. You also need a minimum amount of water pressure to activate the pressure switch inside the heater so also plan on buying a water pump. I would guess that 10,000/12,000 baht will cover a hot water shower.

[SanukJoe]

Earplugs - the one thing I couldn't handle on my first trip was being woken up by the many cockerells that started crowing at 4 o'clock in the morning and the chorus of dogs barking Second trip I took earplugs and slept without problems

Many people seemed to have installed water heaters for a shower - must admit the first time I had to shower using a pan and cold water came as a shock to the system, but suppose it builds character. How much does it cost for a heated shower system? Might invest in installing one next visit.

I bought an electric heater 4,5 kW for 4000 baht (Big C)

To be more complete: about 500 baht more for wiring, the water pressure coming from the pump was enough so no costs there.

[Chang_paarp]

Vegemite is a marvelous product. Make sure you take some, it helps with communication about food.

"I eat Vegemite, you eat durian/bugs/fermented fish .... . OK?"

This only works if they don't like Vegemite, if they do, take them direct to the Aussie Embassy for special visa.

[Griffin]

THANK YOU ONE AND ALL.

THE LACK OF COMFORT IS NOT A HUGE CONCERN OF MINE AS I HAVE BEEN INTO DARKEST BURMA WHERE GUNS, SPYS AND THE JUNTA WERE MORE OF A CONCERN.

MY OP WAS SIMPLY TO LEARN WHAT IS EXPECTED OF ME IN ORDER TO NOT OFFEND MY GF'S FAMILY AND MAKE FRIENDS. AFTER POSTS FROM CERTAIN PEOPLE I FEEL I AM MANY TIMES MORE PREPARED THAN I WAS.

I HAVE MET MANY PEOPLE FROM MY FAMILY TO BE AND THEY HAVE LEARNT TO UNDERSTAND THAT I CRAVE NOTHING MORE THAN BEING LEFT ALONE AND SEEM TO RESPECT THAT. ITS KIND OF FUNNY TO SEE THEM ON MY LIVING ROOM FLOOR GOING ABOUT THEIR GOSSIP AS I CARRY ON WITH MY COMPUTER.

CULTURE GOES BOTH WAYS.

I WILL BREATH LIFE BACK INTO THIS THREAD WHEN I GET BACK.

MANY PEOPLE HAVE MADE THE POINT ABOUT MAKING A FUSS OF THE FAMILY. I SHALL DO SO.

THANKS GUYS. THAI VISA GENERAL MAY BE FULL OF KNOW-IT-ALLS, BUT ITS GOOD TO KNOW THERE IS A COMMUNITY IN HERE.

GRIFF

[Mid]

khun Griffin ,

pls don't shout ..........aka type in capitals

thanxs

mid

[SanukJoe]

THANK YOU ONE AND ALL.

THE LACK OF COMFORT IS NOT A HUGE CONCERN OF MINE AS I HAVE BEEN INTO DARKEST BURMA WHERE GUNS, SPYS AND THE JUNTA WERE MORE OF A CONCERN.

MY OP WAS SIMPLY TO LEARN WHAT IS EXPECTED OF ME IN ORDER TO NOT OFFEND MY GF'S FAMILY AND MAKE FRIENDS. AFTER POSTS FROM CERTAIN PEOPLE I FEEL I AM MANY TIMES MORE PREPARED THAN I WAS.

I HAVE MET MANY PEOPLE FROM MY FAMILY TO BE AND THEY HAVE LEARNT TO UNDERSTAND THAT I CRAVE NOTHING MORE THAN BEING LEFT ALONE AND SEEM TO RESPECT THAT. ITS KIND OF FUNNY TO SEE THEM ON MY LIVING ROOM FLOOR GOING ABOUT THEIR GOSSIP AS I CARRY ON WITH MY COMPUTER.

CULTURE GOES BOTH WAYS.

I WILL BREATH LIFE BACK INTO THIS THREAD WHEN I GET BACK.

MANY PEOPLE HAVE MADE THE POINT ABOUT MAKING A FUSS OF THE FAMILY. I SHALL DO SO.

THANKS GUYS. THAI VISA GENERAL MAY BE FULL OF KNOW-IT-ALLS, BUT ITS GOOD TO KNOW THERE IS A COMMUNITY IN HERE.

GRIFF

Have a good time mate!!! And we expect a full report...

Joe

[soihok]

Yeah, cheers Griffin.

Have a good time.

[Mai Krap]

Be carefull about water, I became ill one time because the kids refilled a couple of my water bottles. What they eat at the village has nothing to do with what you can eat, shitting like a dozen monkies without a hot shower and cable tv is a bad trip multiplied by icy cold water and boredem. Avoid any dried fish, in general buy them live and barbq them, dont feel guilty about passing on foods that look suspect, youll be the sick guy not them. Usually Barbq chicken off the highway and sticky rice is safe to eat, Som Tom Thai is usually safe, its the one with the little dried shrimps, Som Tom Lao in any form whether with little black crabs or with rotted fish is best avoided unless you stay around awhile and build a tolerance. Just be carefull about food because your hosts can eat stuff that you cannot and they have no clue about such things.

Tiger Balm is a must have in large qauntity, you can use it to keep the mossies back or if you get bored or sore or both you can get it rubbed on your back. A mossie net or cheep tent along with a fresh pillow will get you some decent sleep, Tesco has some rubber sleeping pads for 2000 baht that are fantastic, but thats optional, the cheepos are ok for a weekender.

The camping store at Emporium has some great high dollar flashlights and name brand pocket knives. The cheepos are fine for a weekender but I view things like those as tools and enjoy high qaulity ones. In general never take a step into darkness and if you sleep on the floor downstairs and wake for a piss, shine the light around a little then wear flipflops to avoid scorpions and stinging nasties. I like to sit around and make little things from bamboo with the pocket knife as everyone kind of sits around together and if you just read all the time its a bore, needless to say a good book is handy though.

The best thing you can do is rent a truck if youi do not own one and drive to the village, This insures you can leave when you want and can drive around if you become bored. Depending on the families finance they may or may not have a truck, if they dont you will be well looked on for taking a couple of the grandmas and aunts to the store and every family has old ladies, they are usually the funniest and most interesting of the lot. I absolutely loved my wifes grandmother who lived into her ninties, I took the whole family onetime on holiday and I tried to give her a private luxery room in my ignorance so she could have a bed and sleep without my crying toothing nephew, she would not have it at all, she wanted to be right there in the middle of all the excitement and if the baby cried all night she loved every minute of it. As far as I know that was the single time she ever went more than 100 kilos from where she was born, raised, lived, and died. One of my only regrets in life is that I could have spent more time with her and now she is gone.

[bina]

To aid your understanding of the whole village and family structure spend some time before you go drawing out an extended family tree and who's who of the village, this information is gold. wink.gif

After two years with my GF I did this and discovered people who I had been introduced to as sisters were not, sister is a VERY over used word, as was the phrase "..my brother you..". Also it explained why two of the children that I considered related were not and why one was happy and the other less so. Having the family tree also allows GF to clearly explain the people that you need to be seen to be polite to as they are the high status people

a fabualous idea........ my daughter kept asking who all these kids are that went with us everywhere and we were always told 'lan' (grandkids/cousins) but some were just friends' kids........ same as some of the 'sisters/brothers'/aunts etc.....

so know we are sitting down and going over photos and writing in a sort of who's who/belongs to whom scheme (just for fun really i never remember faces )

kind of helps out with the weing as pertaining to another thread on whom to wei and when....

with over 4000!! digital photos from our very small and short wedding ceremony and all the field trips we did, we dont feel like sending to all people only to the close family/dignitaries/elderlies et al.

bina

I REITERATE, A GREAT IDEA!!! MY DAUGHTER ACTUALLY HAD MENTIONED DOING SOMETHING LIKE THAT AND PRINTING IT UP AND FRAMING IT AS A GIFT TO THE PARENTS, BUT WHERE WOULD THEY HANG IT IN THEIR SHACK BUILT UP ON A TREE??!!

oops sorry for calps......

[Griffin]

Without any help from me my better half has just told me that we are now going in April, so the field report will be some time coming. Her reason was so confusing I just gave up and said "that's fine dear".

However, it gives me some time to get prepared for my extended 'camping in a house' trip. I have started a box of goodies for me and them.

I am having a problem finding an inflatable globe, as one enlightened poster recommended, to show the folks where I come from. Any ideas?

[NovaBlue05]

Without any help from me my better half has just told me that we are now going in April, so the field report will be some time coming. Her reason was so confusing I just gave up and said "that's fine dear".

However, it gives me some time to get prepared for my extended 'camping in a house' trip. I have started a box of goodies for me and them.

I am having a problem finding an inflatable globe, as one enlightened poster recommended, to show the folks where I come from. Any ideas?

Might have something to do with Songkran. I've been taking my wife back there from the US in April for the last 3 years. I prefer the weather at other times but it is the one time when her whole family....or most of them, make the trip to the family farm at the same time. With 10 siblings, most all with kids....It's quite the party....lotsa water...booze...karaoke..food.

Get a paper map....It folds neatly into your pocket and they'll get the picture

Chok Dee!

[Griffin]

Thanks Nova, paper map may become paper pulp if it is Song-Kran.

What have I done?

Once again, thanks one and all. If I had gone before this thread I may have not survived.

[Cuban]

....hmmm.

Keep the paper maps out of the way during the day, bring them out after sunset when the water play stops (one of the benifits of up country life). You could print out some maps like this, cut to shape with some tape or use a balloon as a guide and make your own, print of a few copies - it gives the kids something to do - education without them knowing it!

Balloons are always popular, add a few felt tip pens they can draw their own globe although faces are a more likely subject. You might find a plain whte football and use that?

[SanukJoe]

Griffin, I love the phrase: without the help of my better half... Great

I know how it works, she explains, you have no clue, she looks so good, she unsuccesfully tries to make it logical, you think wow what a woman, and you say "it's ok tee rak". Could have been my story, I love it.

Seriously, some posters meant Song Kran, I think they are right, gathering of all families.

Take care

Joe

Edit I meant: without any help from me my better half.......

[bina]

i actually bought a book, one of those coffee table types that have lots of sort of touristy pics from where i live; colouring books were a big hit (with crayons or coloured pencils), even teen magazines the girls loved them. they dont read the stuff anyway, just look at the pics (hairstyles, etc) and i reversed when i came back home (thai teen mags for my kids), sports mags, etc. also sports mags (british football, manchester united or whatever with posters, the boys loved that stuff)...

since we are art oriented, we brought stuff with us to do and the local kids showed up (it was loy kratong time so we did kratongs)...

for songkran, bring some turbo water pistols, for self protection....

[TBWG]

[quote

for songkran, bring some turbo water pistols, for self protection....

Plus one industrial strength polythene bag to keep all those 20 baht notes dry!!!

TBWG

[Vegemite]

I asked these questions a couple of years ago on this forum.

Should still be hear somewhere.

If you search " Mahasarakham " in the little Google box at the top it should come.

The best post I have ever seen from anybody regarding this subject was from Ray23 and it is really worth reading.

Although it wasnt quite the same for me ( the wife told them that I was a private person and it worked a treat ) Ray23 knows a lot about this stuff and he tells it straight.

[bkkandrew]

I asked these questions a couple of years ago on this forum.

Should still be hear somewhere.

If you search " Mahasarakham " in the little Google box at the top it should come.

The best post I have ever seen from anybody regarding this subject was from Ray23 and it is really worth reading.

Although it wasnt quite the same for me ( the wife told them that I was a private person and it worked a treat ) Ray23 knows a lot about this stuff and he tells it straight.

You have just made me smile, as I remember the first Isaan trip - to Mahasarakham!!!!

At the time (about 4 years ago) I googled it and there was only one page - that of a bloke that had a puncture on his bicycle and was forced to stop there unscheduled.

I was perturbed, but made the trip and had a great 2001/2 New years (I think)...

[Bredbury Blue]

If you can't handle the prospect of staying in the village, do as we do, stay in a hotel in the closest town and drive to the in-laws for the daytime.

First time i went (near Sakon Nakhon) i was asked what would like to eat as they were preparing food for all the folks, so i said larb which is the one isaan / lao food i know i can eat no matter how its prepared. It took forever to make but i was ok drinking beer, and conversing, as you do, in thai with an old man who had never been out of the village area all his life and only spoke PhuThai dialect so we just enjoyed each others company and chilled. Eventually the larb was done and everybody gathered around to see how the farlang coped. It was fine and the man from del monte he say yeah! So the party was on. Found out later that the larb took so long as they had to catch the duck, kill, pluck, prepare and cook it. Fresh!

One thing i've always noticed about village life is i get stared less at in the wife's village than i do in many parts of suburban thailand.

I enjoy my trips to isaan, and the village, just wish it wasn't so bloody far from BKK.

[Griffin]

Cuban, after viewing the tennis ball globe, I doff my hat to you, sir. I am having one of those "I'm smart. So why didn't I think of that?" moments.

I, like you, try to sneak a bit of education in when their not looking.

Tell the kids "it's a game!" and they seem happy. Try "I'm going to show you something that could help spark enjoyment in an education that could raise you, your family and possibly the entire country out of ignorance" and you'll be standing alone.

The pens and colouring books I had already thought of, but not the magazines from back home. I may have to edit them though. I don't want too many pictures of flash houses and cars spoiling the carefully cultivated image I have portrayed all this time. That of a man with no cash but who is still able to do stuff for the family.

The reason she finally gave (after breaking the nerve of two gestapo agents and making the enigma code look like bad spelling) for our delayed trip was so we could spend a few days there. Maybe 5.

I suppose it would do no harm in telling you we are going to Si Sa ket. Anyone else there?

Thanks.

[bina]

my daughter says to point out that three quarters of our photos are of us: EATING. she claims that no matter what we went to do or where we were, we were fed, therefore we were always eating.

some stuff on drinking manners. when and if u are given beer/lao khao, since u are a man, u will be offerred all the time, and will have to sip/drink to your own capacity. as a rule, old ladies gave me beer, i sipped since my husband would dig me in the ribs i have to drink to give respect to the little old lady who offerred the stuff to me. men offerred me whiskey/beer, i didnt , since i'm not a drinker at all.

my husband, being thai and the returning son, had to drink every where but since we had agreeded ahead of time that NO ALCOHOL /NO DRUNKNESS as long as my daughter was with us, he sipped instead of drinking the whole shot. once she had returned home, he had to accept all drinks offerred, with pre determined results.

and after five years of not drinking thai lao khao, the results were : more than 3+ shots, and he was floored.

the way it works is: the leading male of the house will offer u lao. u drink. after everyone has had a turn, u can also offer them, if u brought a bottle with. then u can drink your own after giving everyone else. if u are offerred and u dont want to drink, smile and hand the glass to the oldest/important male . then he will have to drink. and it will continue. usually its one or two glass/cups for a group so dont slobber on the rim, the thai will usually pour liquids into their mouths without really mouthing the rim of a glass/bottle. (this is for issaan village guys as far as i have seen in the past five years of parties etc, plus in thailand)

maybe other guys never noticed this stuff, but since i never drink, i would watch everyone else get floored.

enjoy...

bina and anon

[Griffin]

Good point, well made, Bina.

I have been known to drink to relax, and, on occasions, I have become so relaxed I have been found missing a shoe at a distant train station. So, naturally, I promised to lay off when I visit the family.

I wouldn't want to attract disdain or lack of respect.

So I will try your 'passing the hot-potato' trick.

As someone once said "retrospection is always 20-20". I am sure if I had visited as I was before starting this post, I would have made a million errors. I am sure I would have plutoed myself in the eyes of her family and therefore in the eyes of my better half.

I have the measure of Thai adults, but what about the kids I am sure to meet.

Her nieces usually stay with us when they visit Bangkok as they are made welcome (as long as comics are left at home) to stay, eat, read, learn and generally enjoy a home that must seem like the lunar rover compared to their own house.

As we all know Thais gossip and I am sure that the kids must told their friends about staying with us. I have no grand aspirations to raise the IQ of the entire village, but I would still like to plant the seed that learning is a good thing.

So, how do I treat the kids in the village. What do they need? What do they expect? What have they been told about farangs?

Once again, your comments are very welcome.

Griff.

[SanukJoe]

Good point, well made, Bina.

I have been known to drink to relax, and, on occasions, I have become so relaxed I have been found missing a shoe at a distant train station. So, naturally, I promised to lay off when I visit the family.

I wouldn't want to attract disdain or lack of respect.

So I will try your 'passing the hot-potato' trick.

As someone once said "retrospection is always 20-20". I am sure if I had visited as I was before starting this post, I would have made a million errors. I am sure I would have plutoed myself in the eyes of her family and therefore in the eyes of my better half.

I have the measure of Thai adults, but what about the kids I am sure to meet.

Her nieces usually stay with us when they visit Bangkok as they are made welcome (as long as comics are left at home) to stay, eat, read, learn and generally enjoy a home that must seem like the lunar rover compared to their own house.

As we all know Thais gossip and I am sure that the kids must told their friends about staying with us. I have no grand aspirations to raise the IQ of the entire village, but I would still like to plant the seed that learning is a good thing.

So, how do I treat the kids in the village. What do they need? What do they expect? What have they been told about farangs?

Once again, your comments are very welcome.

Griff.