Divorced last year, ex now crying foul

[thonglorjimmy]

I married a lass in 2007, biggest mistake of my life, only actually lived with her for four weeks or so, though we had been "together" across the oceans for longer.

 

Walked out after a month, honestly in fear of my life, she was crazy, I left behind everything including my/our home.

 

Started legal proceedings to recover assets, providing evidence of her fraud, she settled out of court, I was allowed to sell the property and give her 50%, the trouble was she and the foreigner she subsequently leased the house to wouldn't let me show people round so all potential buyers walked away.

 

At the time she agreed to a divorce, then went into hiding. I needed to draw a line so last year I got a lawyer and he obtained a divorce through the courts, it was later registered at my local Amphur.

 

Had to serve papers to her registered address, put adverts in the paper and even stuck a notice on the address registered, she didn't respond, the divorce was approved by the judge and after a period of time it was finalised in October last year.

 

I've resurrected my fight for my assets, though I'm not really hopeful of a satisfactory outcome.

 

She seems to have come out fighting and now, I think, is appealing the divorce order, again I think, saying that the properly issued papers were not received. I'm not sure exactly what she's saying as obviously everything is in Thai, I'm getting them translated today, but she seems to me making some pretty bizarre accusations. At the end of the day I suspect it's going  to be my word against hers, I know she lying, as does she, but proving it, for either of us, is another matter.

 

What I'm really asking is can a Judge "un-divorce" me, are there any such things as perjury laws here? 

 

Thanks in advance for any thoughts.

 

TJ  

[colinneil]

Sorry to hear of your problems mate, but been there done that.

In my case i was fighting ex wife police corrupt lawyer/ judge, gave up, just walked away, lost over 3 million.

You ask about perjury laws, well when all inv olved against you commit perjury you will not win.

Put it down to experience and get on with your life.

[NickJ]

That s one of the reasons they have  national id's pinned to house registration.   A judge should see through her BS.... Especially if it's the same judge. 

[catman20]

sorry to hear about your story but it really is the same story you hear over here time after time i hope this serves as a lesson to you and many others like you. i dont get this compulsorily to marry why make thing difficult for your self

keep life simple.

fools rush in where angles fear to tread. 

[Baerboxer]

Sorry to hear that mate. 

 

You may be lucky and get a good lawyer and judge.

 

But beware the accusations, stories, claims and she hate will get worse and worse as she gets more desperate to get her own way. 

 

Be careful and watch your back.

[keskeseksa]

Firstly, there are few honest lawyers in Thailand, they simply look at the angle where it will bring them the biggest income, i.e. a long case dragging forever.

Secondly, weigh the probability of recovering any assets against the cost of your lawyer and the time and stress it will give you. 

Then decide whether it's worth the trouble, or count it as a costly experience. 

[heybuz]

i have used the civil court in thailand and so far good. did you pay for all and do you have proof in bank statements of payments, also proof the money was from an overseas account to your thai bank. now the big one is your name on the deed. can supply name of reasonably priced honest lawyer in bangkok if needs.

[timendres]

You also need to consider the potential for extrajudicial issues.

Connections (e.g., police, gov't, etc.) can be very powerful here, and possibly wreck your life.

When individuals were sent to my apartment with instructions to kill me, I quickly stopped worrying about money.

[tryasimight]

4 hours ago, heybuz said:

i have used the civil court in thailand and so far good. did you pay for all and do you have proof in bank statements of payments, also proof the money was from an overseas account to your thai bank. now the big one is your name on the deed. can supply name of reasonably priced honest lawyer in bangkok if needs.

Assuming you mean the chanote.....highly unlikely!!

[smotherb]

5 minutes ago, bazza73 said:

Why indeed. The golden rule is never put more money into Thailand than you are prepared to walk away from.

My rule is even more restricted, the only money I have in Thailand is that I just got out of the ATM.

[realenglish1]

ultimately  she will have to put up money to contest your now divorce and that is going to cost a lot  The courts where satisfied you could not get in touch with her and granted you a divorce Just get on with your life 

 

She is a monster 

[steven100]

Well it's not good to hear your plight and troubles.

However,  I'd like to add that not all situations turn sour.

I know many farang / thai relationships and marriages that have flourished and with houses, cars and all the support.

So their are some bad apples in the barrel but their are some ripe crispy ones too  !!!

[thaibeachlovers]

18 hours ago, smotherb said:

Another tale of woe. With so many crazy women and the system stacked against you; even catman20 starts to make sense for the average barsteward. Why get married to a Thai and buy her property in Thailand?

 

Ah, the million $ question.

One has to start at the beginning- why can't western men find a western woman to marry instead of travelling half way around the world ( though most made that mistake already )?

Then, what is it about Thai women that they appear so wonderful that western men want to marry them and buy them property?

Lastly, when there are zillions of pixels devoted to explaining why western men should not marry Thai women, why do so many think that their woman is "different"?

 

Those questions deserve a university course of their own, but IMO the simple explanation is men are ruled by the small head and Thai women speak to that one.

[thaibeachlovers]

3 hours ago, bazza73 said:

It would be really interesting to get some accurate statistics on those who regard their relationship with a Thai woman as successful, vs. the ones who have been taken over the hurdles.

A difficult ask to get the figures though. The ones who are successful are usually quiet about it, and the victims are more vocal.

Personally, I am baffled how a Western-educated person of fairly substantial means on the Thai scale can be taken to the cleaners by a poorly-educated Thai woman who comes from a background of poverty in some distant Thai village.

Because they are so desperate for affection, "love" and/ or sex, and having found that lacking in the PC, feminist dominated, affection devoid country they call "home", they will travel half way around the world and risk everything they have just on the chance that they can find it elsewhere.

I did ( and lost ).

 

The lucky ones don't need to come on TVF and tell everyone about it though, but, IMO, they are just "lucky", as one can't buy love or affection.

[theoldgit]

A number of off topic and otherwise unhelpful posts removed, it seems to me that the OP posted his problem hoping to get some advice, he's already stated he made a mistake, posts rubbing it in don't really help.

 

If anybody is able to answer the questions he asked, I'm sure the OP would appreciate it.

[thaibeachlovers]

The only questions he asked were

What I'm really asking is can a Judge "un-divorce" me, are there any such things as perjury laws here? 

Google answers the second- yes.

Google does not help the first, but rationally, I would say no. However, the ex wife could take him to court to ask for more, IMO.

 

I use such threads to post warning to those not yet married, but interested in doing so, not because I want to "rub it in" to the OP. I consider such warnings to be absolutely related to any such topics as this one. How else will the naïve newbie discover what fate may befall him?

[theoldgit]

1 hour ago, thaibeachlovers said:

The only questions he asked were

What I'm really asking is can a Judge "un-divorce" me, are there any such things as perjury laws here? 

Google answers the second- yes.

Google does not help the first, but rationally, I would say no. However, the ex wife could take him to court to ask for more, IMO.

I suspect the OP was hoping for rather more that a Google searched answer, which I imagine he could have done himself.

Your other answer may indeed be rational, but is it based on fact or just an educated guess?

[thaibeachlovers]

1 minute ago, theoldgit said:

I suspect the OP was hoping for rather more that a Google searched answer, which I imagine he could have done himself.

Your other answer may indeed be rational, but is it based on fact or just an educated guess?

I only googled to make sure that it was in fact an option.

The other is an educated guess, as I doubt any country can un-divorce anyone. Tell me I'm wrong if I am. I did include IMO as part of my answer.

[tomwct]

You bought a house after living with her for 4 weeks. What were you thinking?  This is Thailand the Land of Corruption & Scams. The sell the house and split 50/50? That will never happen unless you have a sane women and you didn't. The "No Show House" is in Thai Playbook. The only way you can get your money back is for the courts to order the house auctioned off! Many times if she accumulated the assets by fraud the courts will give you 100% of the proceeds. Let this be a lesson for all NEWBIES don't buy a house unless you can afford to walk away. I've been renting a beautiful house for 8000 baht per month for 14 years. 2 stories, nice neighborhood with security (300 THB P/M) and 175 SQ mets inside. I plan to stay another 15 years. And my wife is Sane!

[tifino]

if the Ex does proceed with whatever Court actions that a sly fox can think of,

you'd be expected to respond to Subpoenas...

 

 

... well, just play her game, and not 'receive' them either

 

 

what 'grounds' do you portray in you Divorce proceedings?

[thonglorjimmy]

I thought I'd respond to some of the comments, but first of all my sincere thanks to those who offered support, it was very much appreciated.

As to those who sought to criticise and mock from the comfort of their keyboards, well whatever rocks your boat, I take comfort from the fact that you've never made a mistake in your life, ten years ago I did, admitted it, and thought I would share my experience with others, if it helped one person then I'd be content.

Yes, I drew a line some time ago and moved on, I've accepted that I've lost a property, it's only a building I still have my sanity and my life, she wasn't able to take that away.

I've divorced her now, and as I attempted to point out in my post she seems to be challenging that, I was hoping that somebody might have been able to share a similar experience, not just a referral to Google, that wasn't particularly helpful, but thanks anyway.

If I can clarify a couple of other points that have been put to me when I was seeking advice, I was going to quote some of the more bizarre ones, but a mod has deleted them, thanks for that Mr/Ms Mod. 

Before our fateful marriage, despite the fact our relationship was conducted across the oceans, I was a regular visitor to her here in Thailand for two or three years and she me at my home in the UK before we married.

When I said I'd only stayed with her for four weeks, that referred to the fact that though we'd been in a relationship for a number of years,  and had rented a small house and condo previously, when I retired and moved here full time, it was clear to me that we were not going to live happily every after, she changed, or rather her intentions became apparent, after the four weeks, it was at that stage I decided that my life, well being and sanity were more important than bricks and mortar and decided to move out.

I really don't know why she's challenging the divorce, my lawyer seems to think she's now broke and maybe it seems that it may have sunk in that she will no longer receive the half decent pension that she would have received on my demise.

The other point, that was well made, is to be aware of any alternative methods she might employ in getting revenge, this is something I've considered, maybe I'll up sticks and return to the UK - who knows. 
Thanks again for those that offered some support, as I say it was very much appreciated.

[thaibeachlovers]

14 hours ago, smotherb said:

You seem to be recounting the norm--bad marriage in the West, marrying again in the East, often with a bar-girl, marriage ends in lost money, hate and discontent. After more than 50 years in Asia and knowledge of literally scores of farang-Thai/Filipina/Vietnamese marriages, most of which fit the norm described above; it seems the average barsteward never learns. However, in that same 50 years I have known many farang-Thai/Filipina/Vietnamese relationships that have been successful. Sure, sometimes the women did not come from the bars, but sometimes they did. Sometimes the men had unsuccessful marriages to Western women, but sometimes they didn't.  The successful relationships often fit the norm, but worked; why? Why, when so many others fail? And, contrary to the belief of many; some Western men actually prefer Eastern women, even some Western men who have had good relationships with Western women, prefer Eastern women.  Go figure.

And, contrary to the belief of many; some Western men actually prefer Eastern women.

 

Sure they do.

[GOLDBUGGY]

On 8/11/2017 at 1:00 PM, thaibeachlovers said:

Ah, the million $ question.

One has to start at the beginning- why can't western men find a western woman to marry instead of travelling half way around the world ( though most made that mistake already )?

Then, what is it about Thai women that they appear so wonderful that western men want to marry them and buy them property?

Lastly, when there are zillions of pixels devoted to explaining why western men should not marry Thai women, why do so many think that their woman is "different"?

 

Those questions deserve a university course of their own, but IMO the simple explanation is men are ruled by the small head and Thai women speak to that one.

I think they find a Thai Woman as they were married to a Western Woman first, and like me, they were taken for every penny they had. From my first Divorce to a Western Woman I left with $50 and my suitcase, and even then she would not stop fighting or lieing to the Courts. PLus 10 years of Child Support. 

 

So you think Western Woman are better or different in this regard? Well...good luck to you. 

[Watchful]

16 hours ago, thonglorjimmy said:

I really don't know why she's challenging the divorce, my lawyer seems to think she's now broke and maybe it seems that it may have sunk in that she will no longer receive the half decent pension that she would have received on my demise.

The other point, that was well made, is to be aware of any alternative methods she might employ in getting revenge, this is something I've considered, maybe I'll up sticks and return to the UK - who knows. 
Thanks again for those that offered some support, as I say it was very much appreciated.

Jimmy, while I can't say for certain, I would seriously doubt your ex is thinking about any potential pension. I mean a pension paid out in the UK governed by UK inheritance laws would be way too complex and way beyond her ability to unscramble.

 

You mentioned you were attempting to recover some of your assets. Now, here is where she could throw a monkey wrench into the works. If she can convince a Thai court that you are still married, your claims would be quickly dismissed. I suspect her strategy is to deny you any relief ... at whatever cost.

 

If you want piece of mind, have your lawyer propose that both sides stop all claims. In your case piece of mind would far outweigh any monetary relief you "might" win. I mean, what do you lose by having a third party seek an end to all hostilities? Further, you must recognize that in the end, she has the home court advantage and the odds of you winning anything in court is remote at best. 

[BEVUP]

23 hours ago, tomwct said:

You bought a house after living with her for 4 weeks. What were you thinking?  This is Thailand the Land of Corruption & Scams. The sell the house and split 50/50? That will never happen unless you have a sane women and you didn't. The "No Show House" is in Thai Playbook. The only way you can get your money back is for the courts to order the house auctioned off! Many times if she accumulated the assets by fraud the courts will give you 100% of the proceeds. Let this be a lesson for all NEWBIES don't buy a house unless you can afford to walk away. I've been renting a beautiful house for 8000 baht per month for 14 years. 2 stories, nice neighborhood with security (300 THB P/M) and 175 SQ mets inside. I plan to stay another 15 years. And my wife is Sane!

How true

& you see these women ( wifes/GF) coming out with the pictures of women wanting Falangs

I would never introduce a Falang to a women here knowing what i know now

& they don't even need to be crazy ( personally i think they put on a show to get rid of the guy ) & there must be some age gaps

I know of house 3 up from me where a guy bought a house for his GF has a baby & comes once a year for 4 wks - the family loves it & maybe her BF 

& also I know of women that pretend they have a job but are of playing cards with their BF (night shift)

[thaibeachlovers]

23 hours ago, GOLDBUGGY said:

I think they find a Thai Woman as they were married to a Western Woman first, and like me, they were taken for every penny they had. From my first Divorce to a Western Woman I left with $50 and my suitcase, and even then she would not stop fighting or lieing to the Courts. PLus 10 years of Child Support. 

 

So you think Western Woman are better or different in this regard? Well...good luck to you. 

I don't believe in marriage at all now. It's an institution in the west for benefiting women over men. When people started just living together, they made living together the same as marriage for the benefit of the western woman. Which is why I would like to live in Thailand, which hasn't YET gone down that route.

However, Thailand is rapidly picking up all the faults of western countries. Shame.

[Kadilo]

Guys you really don't need to hijack every thread with your ongoing bitchfest


Sent from my iPhone using Thaivisa Connect

[GOLDBUGGY]

22 hours ago, thaibeachlovers said:

I don't believe in marriage at all now. It's an institution in the west for benefiting women over men. When people started just living together, they made living together the same as marriage for the benefit of the western woman. Which is why I would like to live in Thailand, which hasn't YET gone down that route.

However, Thailand is rapidly picking up all the faults of western countries. Shame.

Well I find myself agreeing to what you are saying. Also that a Man is better off financially living alone. But unfortunately "No Man" is an Island, and was meant to live alone.

 

However Society doesn't agree with this, or us.  That is couples living together for many years and not getting married is in many ways still Taboo. I have been to many places in this World including Africa, and all of which hold Marriage to the highest level of esteem. Including your Home Country, Mine, and Thailand. 

 

Not to say that there is not some Primative Tribe out there, that doesn't hold true to this statement. Or in many African Countries, and where a Man can have many wives. But regardless as to the number of wives he takes, and wife is still a wife, and his property. A Girl Friend is nobody, and in many case sleeping with a Man while being unmarried still carries a Death Penalty in many places. 

 

So I guess until they put a Death Penalty on a Man for marrying a Woman this will go on and on, with a Woman. But the Woman has come a long way in history. From being purchased for 2 Cattle, and 3 Goats, to being a life long finanacial obligation to the Man. Even after the marriage is long gone.  

 

At least in the Communist System a Woman was expected to work along side of the Man, and expected to make her own living. I am not a Communist, but only to say that not all of their ideas where bad ones. 

[thaibeachlovers]

3 hours ago, GOLDBUGGY said:

Well I find myself agreeing to what you are saying. Also that a Man is better off financially living alone. But unfortunately "No Man" is an Island, and was meant to live alone.

 

 

Hmmmm. Before I got married I thought it would be great to be married for all the usual reasons. Got burned in the west and tried again in LOS.

Now that I'm single with zero desire to be married again, I find my stress level has dropped significantly, and I am actually happier that I was when I was looking for a beloved. Unfortunately I had to get married to find I didn't really want to be married at all.

No need to be an island in LOS if one doesn't want to be. Renting is easy.

[Scooby and Puppy]

On 11/08/2017 at 1:00 PM, thaibeachlovers said:

Ah, the million $ question.

One has to start at the beginning- why can't western men find a western woman to marry instead of travelling half way around the world ( though most made that mistake already )?

Then, what is it about Thai women that they appear so wonderful that western men want to marry them and buy them property?

Lastly, when there are zillions of pixels devoted to explaining why western men should not marry Thai women, why do so many think that their woman is "different"?

 

Those questions deserve a university course of their own, but IMO the simple explanation is men are ruled by the small head and Thai women speak to that one.

For every disastrous marriage gone wrong here, there is as many if not more that have stood the test of time.  

By the way, I am not married....yet.