Only Fools and Horses star reveals heartbreak as Thai wife banned from the UK

[anon789561]

Just now, soalbundy said:

If you have the cash, but if you have the cash the world is a wide open prairie 

not too expensive, try cirencester. if you are looking that is

[anon789561]

cheltenham if you prefer a bigger town

[Kieran00001]

16 minutes ago, Happy enough said:

cotswolds, beautiful

 

Yeah, shame it's mostly the walled off private grounds of huge estates.

[anon789561]

2 minutes ago, Kieran00001 said:

 

Yeah, shame it's mostly the walled off private grounds of huge estates.

not at all. i go every christmas to see my sister. it's beautiful. walk around the lakes. my sister doesn't have a huge estate! 5555, thats me x

[AGareth2]

26 minutes ago, Happy enough said:

cotswolds, beautiful

lovely pubs

[anon789561]

Just now, AGareth2 said:

lovely pubs

yes, and food!!! proper food 

[Eloquent pilgrim]

2 hours ago, Kieran00001 said:

 

You may think that is "decent" to have children within wedlock but you don't actually have the right to enforce your little morals on the world.

Kieran, do you live in Thailand, or have you been to Thailand; do you understand Thai culture and Thai society. Do you understand that sex before marriage is still frowned upon by traditional Thai society and not acceptable in Thai culture.

 

Do you understand that public displays of affection, like kissing or even holding hands is still not acceptable, although with more exposure to western culture these taboos are gradually being relaxed a little.

A Thai woman is expected to get married before having a baby, especially by her family. It is a matter of respect to her family, even more than it is to her, odd though that might seem to a farang. 

 

I live with my girlfriend and we are getting married in December, but when we visit her family and go on holiday with them, we would never dream of sharing a room together, I have my own room, and she sleeps with her mom and dad and sis ……. it is purely out of respect to her parents, her family is incredibly important to her, as is the case with almost all Thai women

 

My comment had nothing to do with my own dubious sense of morality, it was about acting with respect and integrity in Thailand, which I don't think he has done by only marrying her a few days before going back to the UK, having been with her for more than 3 years with a daughter that was 18 months old at the time ……. I hope you understand my comment a bit better now.
 

[Kieran00001]

46 minutes ago, Eloquent pilgrim said:

Kieran, do you live in Thailand, or have you been to Thailand; do you understand Thai culture and Thai society. Do you understand that sex before marriage is still frowned upon by traditional Thai society and not acceptable in Thai culture.

 

Do you understand that public displays of affection, like kissing or even holding hands is still not acceptable, although with more exposure to western culture these taboos are gradually being relaxed a little.

A Thai woman is expected to get married before having a baby, especially by her family. It is a matter of respect to her family, even more than it is to her, odd though that might seem to a farang. 

 

I live with my girlfriend and we are getting married in December, but when we visit her family and go on holiday with them, we would never dream of sharing a room together, I have my own room, and she sleeps with her mom and dad and sis ……. it is purely out of respect to her parents, her family is incredibly important to her, as is the case with almost all Thai women

 

My comment had nothing to do with my own dubious sense of morality, it was about acting with respect and integrity in Thailand, which I don't think he has done by only marrying her a few days before going back to the UK, having been with her for more than 3 years with a daughter that was 18 months old at the time ……. I hope you understand my comment a bit better now.
 

 

And do you project your limited findings onto everyone in every country you visit or just Thailand?  There are also these people in my country, those who wouldn't dream of letting the long term boyfriend stay the night, who would feel ashamed if their child had children out of wedlock, and then there are those who don't care as long as their children are happy, just like in Thailand, there are less here who are more relaxed about these things but that does not translate to it being indecent, that is something for the individual and as you do not know that family you have no right to project your own feelings of decency onto them.  In reality your experiences are of some old fashioned Thai people, I'm so glad my Thai family are not like that, I mean what a culture clash it would be, I am very happy to have found someone I can relate to on all levels, not someone stuck in a mentality not very common in my country for the past 60 years.  We are now married but we did that long after having kids, it was really just a convenience thing, after all, what on earth could a piece of paper really mean?  

[Eloquent pilgrim]

7 minutes ago, Kieran00001 said:

 

And do you project your limited findings onto everyone in every country you visit or just Thailand?  There are also these people in my country, those who wouldn't dream of letting the long term boyfriend stay the night, who would feel ashamed if their child had children out of wedlock, and then there are those who don't care as long as their children are happy, just like in Thailand, there are less here who are more relaxed about these things but that does not translate to it being indecent, that is something for the individual and as you do not know that family you have no right to project your own feelings of decency onto them.  In reality your experiences are of some old fashioned Thai people, I'm so glad my Thai family are not like that, I mean what a culture clash it would be, I am very happy to have found someone I can relate to on all levels, not someone stuck in a mentality not very common in my country for the past 60 years.  We are now married but we did that long after having kids, it was really just a convenience thing, after all, what on earth could a piece of paper really mean?  

Good luck to you .... I am pleased that you have found such happiness, not everyone does, and to find it without any compromising is indeed a bonus ??

[Kieran00001]

2 hours ago, Happy enough said:

not at all. i go every christmas to see my sister. it's beautiful. walk around the lakes. my sister doesn't have a huge estate! 5555, thats me x

 

Are the lakes in the Cotswolds?  Certainly not in what I consider to be the Cotswolds, I know they have taken the name but they are South of the hills so not really what I think anyone thinks of when they say the Cotswolds.  I believe the largest estate is 15,000 acres, also the longest private perimeter hedge in the world is found there, it really is largely walled off, there is one wall that you drive along for about 15 minutes, you could fit the lakes on their front lawn! I lived there for years, in Hooky and the Slad, there are plenty of nice places to go but there would be much more if it were not for the private estates.

 

[rasg]

2 hours ago, Eloquent pilgrim said:

Kieran, do you live in Thailand, or have you been to Thailand; do you understand Thai culture and Thai society. Do you understand that sex before marriage is still frowned upon by traditional Thai society and not acceptable in Thai culture.

 

Do you understand that public displays of affection, like kissing or even holding hands is still not acceptable, although with more exposure to western culture these taboos are gradually being relaxed a little.

A Thai woman is expected to get married before having a baby, especially by her family. It is a matter of respect to her family, even more than it is to her, odd though that might seem to a farang. 

 

I live with my girlfriend and we are getting married in December, but when we visit her family and go on holiday with them, we would never dream of sharing a room together, I have my own room, and she sleeps with her mom and dad and sis ……. it is purely out of respect to her parents, her family is incredibly important to her, as is the case with almost all Thai women

 

My comment had nothing to do with my own dubious sense of morality, it was about acting with respect and integrity in Thailand, which I don't think he has done by only marrying her a few days before going back to the UK, having been with her for more than 3 years with a daughter that was 18 months old at the time ……. I hope you understand my comment a bit better now.

My wife's family are out in the sticks in the North East and two of her sisters have partners and kids and have never married. After my first visit I was the referred to as her husband because we shared a room in her sister's house. I get what you are saying about PDAs and my wife prefers not to do it but the UK has changed her quite a bit.

 

I know it's Sunday but who are you to moralise about anybody's situation from your high horse. Good grief. Live and let live...

 

5 hours ago, Eloquent pilgrim said:

....... his daughter was born in November 2014 so you think he would have had the decency to get married before she was born ........ 

Oh please! It is 2017, not the 1950s. I bet the majority have kids before they are married in the UK nowadays. It's surprising how many don't bother in Thailand too.

 

20 hours ago, mommysboy said:

Some posters have characterized him as a cynical player of the system who is out to secure as many benefits as he can so he can avoid work and taxes, after all, only fools and horses....  Personally, even if he does duck and dive I find this most unfair.  If nothing else, we simply don't know.

Exactly. We don't know. Shame so many are quite happy to vilify somebody without having a clue about their true situation. Quite normal for this forum though.

[William C F Pierce]

On 17/09/2017 at 7:19 AM, champers said:

I am only guessing, but the current rules allow Euro spouses in regardless of merit; they are allowed in carte blanche. After Brexit there may be more flexibility for Non-Euro spouses.

Nigel Farage would probably know better than me. His wife is German.

He would not care and she says they have not seen each other for 10 years.

[473geo]

Actually reading all the talk of Marriage, as usual the Thai have developed a methodology to resolve any cultural difficulties, it is the 'village wedding'

It is another good reason for handing over a bit of sinsod or appearing to do so, once this 'wedding' has taken place all is good in the village.

Of course often later the legal paperwork can be done and needs to be done for various official reasons.

[anon789561]

2 hours ago, Kieran00001 said:

 

Are the lakes in the Cotswolds?  Certainly not in what I consider to be the Cotswolds, I know they have taken the name but they are South of the hills so not really what I think anyone thinks of when they say the Cotswolds.  I believe the largest estate is 15,000 acres, also the longest private perimeter hedge in the world is found there, it really is largely walled off, there is one wall that you drive along for about 15 minutes, you could fit the lakes on their front lawn! I lived there for years, in Hooky and the Slad, there are plenty of nice places to go but there would be much more if it were not for the private estates.

 

i was joking about the estate and the lakes i was talking about are near latton. not lakes, man made ponds from mining, still nice though ; ) cotswold water park. nice mate. go have a look

[anon789561]

Just now, Happy enough said:

i was joking about the estate and the lakes i was talking about are near latton. not lakes, man made ponds from mining, still nice though ; ) cotswold water park. nice mate. go have a look

cirencester is basically one big estate right? but the gardens are open for all to see. great on boxing day for the hunt. was there last year. hunting, thats a whole different topic that i have no issue with. just reminded me to book my flight. will start getting expensive soon ; )

[Kieran00001]

2 hours ago, Happy enough said:

i was joking about the estate and the lakes i was talking about are near latton. not lakes, man made ponds from mining, still nice though ; ) cotswold water park. nice mate. go have a look

 

I know where they are, that was why I was describing their location as being outside of what I think anyone would consider to be the Cotswolds.

[anon789561]

9 minutes ago, Kieran00001 said:

 

I know where they are, that was why I was describing their location as being outside of what I think anyone would consider to be the Cotswolds.

i got that. people so friendly there. i will try to check out the rest of the cotswolds. bourton on the water. pint and roast on the river. you know it makes sense 5555

[Kieran00001]

2 minutes ago, Happy enough said:

i got that. people so friendly there. i will try to check out the rest of the cotswolds. bourton on the water. pint and roast on the river. you know it makes sense 5555

 

A lot of it is not really friendly in my experience, a lot of snobs about who would rather knock you down in their range rover than be troubled as much as to slow down a little.

[anon789561]

1 hour ago, Kieran00001 said:

 

A lot of it is not really friendly in my experience, a lot of snobs about who would rather knock you down in their range rover than be troubled as much as to slow down a little.

555 there are some snobs too, you're right. is it not like like here? protecting what we have as we don't want it to be ruined

[icare999]

luckely we have enough money to satisfy requirements and our children both have UK passports. Even so UK made it very difficult for us to get even a fmaily visit visa for my wife over last 30 odd years. What annoys most is ive paid over 1/2 million gbp in taxes and we still apy taxes and they still make it difficult. I feel really sorry for those who dont have funds we currently have and over years known many who would not be a burden be refused even tourist visa for their Thia wives and girlfriends it makes me reallty angry 

[Neeranam]

I had no idea of this law.

 

My wife has never had a problem with a visitor's visa over the last 17 years.

But she doesn't have a tattoo or say, "same same".

 

[wakeupplease]

On 9/24/2017 at 9:20 AM, Eloquent pilgrim said:

Kieran, do you live in Thailand, or have you been to Thailand; do you understand Thai culture and Thai society. Do you understand that sex before marriage is still frowned upon by traditional Thai society and not acceptable in Thai culture.

 

Do you understand that public displays of affection, like kissing or even holding hands is still not acceptable, although with more exposure to western culture these taboos are gradually being relaxed a little.

A Thai woman is expected to get married before having a baby, especially by her family. It is a matter of respect to her family, even more than it is to her, odd though that might seem to a farang. 

 

I live with my girlfriend and we are getting married in December, but when we visit her family and go on holiday with them, we would never dream of sharing a room together, I have my own room, and she sleeps with her mom and dad and sis ……. it is purely out of respect to her parents, her family is incredibly important to her, as is the case with almost all Thai women

 

My comment had nothing to do with my own dubious sense of morality, it was about acting with respect and integrity in Thailand, which I don't think he has done by only marrying her a few days before going back to the UK, having been with her for more than 3 years with a daughter that was 18 months old at the time ……. I hope you understand my comment a bit better now.
 

 

And the fathers and brothers and uncles never rape the kids either do they.

[wakeupplease]

On 9/24/2017 at 7:05 AM, soalbundy said:

Why would anyone want to live in the UK , it's beyond me.

 

And so is logic by the looks of things

[7by7]

50 minutes ago, Neeranam said:

I had no idea of this law.

 

My wife has never had a problem with a visitor's visa over the last 17 years.

But she doesn't have a tattoo or say, "same same".

 

 

This financial requirement applies to settlement visa and leave to remain applications, not visit visa ones.

 

The rules and requirements for settlement and visit visas are not the same.

 

Though I can say with absolute certainty that having tattoos and saying 'same, same' are no bar to either!

[flyingfox1]

He was  an actor who played a role .
Are you saying that because of a character that he played on TV, he should be given different treatment ?
  What if Nasty Nick from Eastenders was in the same situation, would you suggest that his Thai Wife should not be allowed in, because Nasty Nick wasnt very nice ?

Nasty nick shouldn’t get in cos he was way to bad lol


Sent from my iPhone using Thailand Forum - Thaivisa mobile app

[Kieran00001]

19 hours ago, Neeranam said:

I had no idea of this law.

 

My wife has never had a problem with a visitor's visa over the last 17 years.

But she doesn't have a tattoo or say, "same same".

 

 

You appear to remain ignorant of this law.

[Negita43]

The English (British if you prefer) used to be well known for their common sense. Sadly that has changed now they are famous for their PC attitudes. Governments used to be part of the "social contract". Sadly now days Governments want more and more control over our daily lives. They tax you and then seek ways to reduce how much you get back in terms of services.

[SheungWan]

On 9/24/2017 at 7:05 AM, soalbundy said:

Why would anyone want to live in the UK , it's beyond me.

All of us in Zone 1 are constantly asking ourselves that question. So tiresome!

Edited October 5, 2017 by SheungWan

[Thai Ron]

30 minutes ago, Negita43 said:

The English (British if you prefer) used to be well known for their common sense. Sadly that has changed now they are famous for their PC attitudes. Governments used to be part of the "social contract". Sadly now days Governments want more and more control over our daily lives. They tax you and then seek ways to reduce how much you get back in terms of services.

Your first point is drivel. The term "PC" is a catchall used by those who think anyone with compassion for fellow human beings or a willingness to engage in sensible dialogue is a bleeding heart liberal. Look where Trump's got with that attitude - absolutely nowhere.

 

To your second point....That's only to be expected - the number of people reaching retirement age and living longer etc puts greater strain on services like pensions and healthcare.

It's irrational and stupid to expect things to remain the same as they were during the "good old days" in the face of changing demographics but don't let that get in the way of a good gripe.

It's happening everywhere throughout the Western world, not just Britain. Just look at the US's unfunded liabilities.

 

Half the sourpusses whinging about immigrants can't grasp that the reason Western governments are bringing in as many as they do is to get them into the tax system so their payments can prop up the Great Ponzi Scheme.

They've gotta have new blood paying in to cover the bigger amounts they're paying out to the old blood.

It's simple mathematics but it's lost on the whingers

Edited October 5, 2017 by Thai Ron

[soalbundy]

On 10/4/2017 at 8:55 PM, wakeupplease said:

 

And so is logic by the looks of things

choice, not logic.