Marrying a "rich" westerner may not be a "dream come true" - says BBC

[StayinThailand2much]

1 hour ago, ChrisY1 said:

Not too many rich foreigners come to live in Thailand.....the south of France, Caribbean etc, offer lifestyle.....

 

I bet that there are many more foreigners marrying local women in the Caribbean, France and Spain. Why doesn't the BBC make a documentary there?

 

South of France - "My son-in-law from Engeland iz drivin' me crazy! Why he always eat disgusting Cheddar cheese, and not deliciose Brie?" - "Shut up, Maurice!"

[StayinThailand2much]

2 hours ago, ChrisY1 said:

Not too many rich foreigners come to live in Thailand.....the south of France, Caribbean etc, offer lifestyle.....

 

BRITS ABROAD: THE TOP COUNTRIES

Country name	Resident Britons
Australia	1,300,000
Spain	761,000
United States	678,000
Canada	603,000
Ireland	291,000
New Zealand	215,000
South Africa	212,000
France	200,000

 

 

Thailand not even on the list!

[OmarZaid]

1 hour ago, Borzandy said:

never seen a woman with an Adam's apple like this one.....

Not an Adam's apple .... more like a goitre ... but since its asymmetric, might be a cancer  - should be checked -- if anyone knows this person, please advise them

[OmarZaid]

1 hour ago, Borzandy said:

never seen a woman with an Adam's apple like this one.....

Not an Adam's apple .... more like a goitre ... but since its asymmetric, might be a cancer  - should be checked -- if anyone knows this person, please advise them

[RawboneFunksta]

We cannot help but generalise and the negative traits of some people on both sides of the argument are often made larger in the telling.

 

I used to believe that circumstances determined our destiny; poor people were poor because the rest of the world colluded to keep them poor. However I have learned that the bus stops at the end of the row of slum-houses, all one has to do is board. It's not quite a simple as that but there is truth in it.

 

I could be rich had I saved more of the money I earned, worked more hours, chosen an education and a career that was better paid. It is often about choices.

I have found many Thai people from Isan to be charming, graceful, warm, fun, smart but also lacking initiative, reflection or dynamism in the work arena.

 

A farang who knows very little is heaven sent to a poor thai moobahn. I have witnessed farang men being served up to a family in Petchabun province.

 

A Thai woman married and living in England encouraged her daft husband's 65 yr old friend to travel back to the village with them. He was whisked from the airport to the village by bus and a local girl asked to 'take care him' while he was there. She was told to ask for 1000 baht a day.

 

Predictably the sap fell in love/lust with her and she was able to milk him for a couple of years  . . . . .ultimately he got tired of messages saying, 'I tell you I cannot answer call becos I working in restaurant. You send money yet? Love you!"

It's a cottage industry. 

 

I think what I described is fairly typical unless one gets lucky. My objection is that a pretty innocent soul (even if he is characterised by some as a fat, old farang sex tourist) is taken advantage of by the sewer rats of the village. 

 

The irony is that the people taking advantage imagine themselves smart as a whip for fleecing the ostensibly more sophisticated foreigners. They mistake intelligence for the low cunning they possess.

 

I am lucky like many I am sure and was well versed in Thai-farang relationships early on, got a little singed emotionally but did not lose my shirt, figuratively speaking, and was the wiser for it. Many are not so lucky.

 

Conversely I believe there are lots of good women in Thailand who would jump at the chance of financial security and someone who gives more than a shit about them. Finding them is the challenge!

 

[Ombra]

This is another lazy piece of research which has produced results of little interest.

[bananafish]

I won't be building anybody a house, I wouldn't even do that for myself. 

[hawksway]

Not just the cultural problems. If the educational level of the Thai Women is so low, the couple will have little to talk about. Leave Isan alone; find a Girl who holds down a good job, give the relationship time and make sure there is little baggage, like buying the Brother out of jail or paying the hospital bills for an extended family.

[CelticBhoy]

I'd marry a "rich" westerner in a heartbeat  . . . . . 

 

(Don't think the wife and kids would let me though!)

[sanemax]

4 hours ago, webfact said:

According to the happy mother-in-law the Swiss man sends her 10 to 20,000 baht per month. This is in addition to the money he gives to their daughter aged 36.

It would be interesting to see the psychology for the reasons why guys do this .

Why do guys give money away  ?

Could be that they are lonely single guys (dont mean that derogatory) without a family and are subconsciously obtaining a ready made family .

[NextStationBangkok]

BBC failed to report that this much better option than working in Nana area. So, they choose the best among the worst.

 

No money, no honey!

[Bill Miller]

32 minutes ago, ramrod711 said:

You can't really blame Issan people, they are simply following the advice of their local PTP MP

http://www.thailovelines.com/Frontinfo/thai-women-marrying-foreigners.html

An interesting if slightly dated article.
I think the most relevant lesson is that Thai society and culture are not a monolithic bastion of "Thainess" as many assume, and many Thai people would have us believe.
My own experience is not of the oft assumed "old farang come to Thailand looking", but rather met a Thai lady via Facebook first and decided to come meet her specifically. That was three plus years ago.
It is not all a bed of roses, for sure. I am often told "Because it is Thai culture!". If it is an important enough issue to me I can point to numerous counter examples. Depends on if I want to sleep alone. 
On balance she is lovely, smart, and more considerate of me than fifty plus years experience of American women. I am not sure if this is a cultural statement, but for me she is worth working hard to make a go of it. YMMV. 

 

[dotpoom]

Is that it?......I thought we were going to get route and branch examples of the problems spoken about in the headline (for those who don't already know). No.....but what we did get was an example of everything going great for the Thais concerned.

[owl sees all]

3 minutes ago, dotpoom said:

Is that it?......I thought we were going to get route and branch examples of the problems spoken about in the headline (for those who don't already know). No.....but what we did get was an example of everything going great for the Thais concerned.

Poison Brother-in-law thread has some real heart rendering stories.

[mauGR1]

1 hour ago, sanemax said:

Are there still a lot of older Westerners coming to Thailand and getting married?

I did used to see quite a lot of them in bars and I hardly see any these days

Has anyone else noticed a decline in Westerners looking for a Thai bride ?

Maybe, but i noticed there is a growing number of Thai women looking for Westerners.

[Thaimike370]

2 hours ago, TheGhostWithin said:

Yes, the problem is that many do not want to be educated. I know a mother in law that was offered English classes by the government but told them she wouldn't take them, "why would she ever need to learn English?", she told her daughter. The daughter reminded her of her Farang son in law  "Oh, but he will learn Thai", she said. She had forgotten  the number of times she had sniggered at his attempts to communicate in Thai with her because his tone was slightly off or perhaps the wrong word was used. She had failed to notice that he had stopped talking to her more than a year before as a result of that sniggering when he spoke Thai and refusal to learn English, which he percieved as resistance to the reality his daughter was now in a dual culture world. She still continues to try to turn her son in law into a little Thai man, subservient, obedient, but Farang enough to ensure she always gets to order whatever she wants for dinner and shop whereever she wants when out in Bangkok.

 

There are always two sides to the story, and both sides need to be open to be educated before anything will work.

The BBC is totally biased about just about everything.  The UK government should shut it down.

[NextStationBangkok]

1 minute ago, mauGR1 said:

Maybe, but i noticed there is a growing number of Thai women looking for Westerners.

 

Do you mean, they stopped for a while?

 

Long ago, there was survey in Issan by Thai TV. Almost every girl(Young, old, including some grand moms) the interviewed wanted to marry Farang and bring good fortunes to their families.

[1FinickyOne]

4 hours ago, theguyfromanotherforum said:

My wife supports me. I wouldn't have it any other way.

of course you wouldn't... you seem extremely proud of that... I would be terribly embarrassed by it - to each his own. 

[mauGR1]

1 minute ago, NextStationBangkok said:

 

Do you mean, they stopped for a while?

 

Long ago, there was survey in Issan by Thai TV. Almost every girl(Young, old, including some grand moms) the interviewed wanted to marry Farang and bring good fortunes to their families.

That's what i meant, compared to 20 years ago, the number of "damsels in distress" has been growing exponentially.

[smileydude]

Its all good if the relationship and eventual marriage comes naturally and the expectations are not only monetary vs physical based.  Thing is the most sustainable way to get yourself out of poverty is to educate yourself and develop a skill.  Even better if that skill pays well and you are naturally good at instead of waiting for a lottery ticket in the form of marrying someone well off because as fast as some marriages come, they also go.

[The Deerhunter]

4 hours ago, ratcatcher said:

What the BBC failed to mention was just how so many foreigners meet Thai country girls in the first place.They certainly do not have conducted tours for foreign tourists to the villages of Isaan or rural Thailand.

They fail to mention that the influx of older farangs marrying younger Thai women who already have 1 or more children by a failed relationship with a Thai man gives those families a chance for a better future, since "used" Thai women are less or un desirable to Thai men.

One previos poster stated that"his wife supports him" and good for him I say if he can get away with it, unfortunately that also seems to be the prevailing attitude among many Thai men in rural areas who prefer to laze around playing Hi Lo and quaffing lao khao rather than working. Their wives meanwhile run the homes and hold down jobs doing whatever they can. I say many, not all, Thai men are lazy.

Well said Ratcatcher.  Yes many or most of these would have been n

met in a bar in P P or CM.  Most of these "used" wives would have little luck finding a decent Thai husband to help with stepkids. Surprising so many turn out well.  The hooker who can reform and be a good wife is obviously not a cliche.  They obviously do not all turn out bad as much as many correspondents would like us to think.  I know a number like me very happy.  Yes there are family and cultural. problems.  Everywhere. Remind me some time to tell you about my other marriage which was in my original culture back home.  My Thai wife here shares all responsibilities including financial.

  

[joecoolfrog]

2 hours ago, BangkokReady said:

If someone marries someone 20+ years younger than them, and then sends £400+ to her parents every month, as well as money to the wife, it's pretty clear that there is a business arrangement there. It's not all going to be wonderful. The woman puts up with an old man sweating all over her and the man shells out the cash. I don't think either side can complain.

 

I think a better example is where a Thai woman marries a Western man and thinks she will no longer have to work and will go and live in a big house in the West, only to find that her new husband has few job prospects back home, not much money, and is forced to scraped by on a meager teacher's salary in Thailand.

Marriage has always been a business arangement , the concept of marrying for ' love ' is a relatively modern notion.

[SpeakeasyThai]

4 hours ago, al007 said:

Yes I live in Issan, have thai wife 9yrs best thing that ever happened to me, we give her parents a small but meaningful amount of support, and they respect our privacy, I also happily provide for two stepsons

 

Those who throw big money like mentioned above are foolish or stupid, it will simply result in mor more being wanted

 

I am a very lucky man, and this is wife no four ;best of all the ones I have had by a long way

The previous three were ladyboys?

[The Deerhunter]

Not sure from the original post where the daughter and Swiss hubby reside.  Not in Thailand it seems.  Which seems unusual because it seems the thrust of the program is about Thais and Farangs making it here with Thai culture.  

[smotherb]

3 hours ago, JLCrab said:

The old saw is that anyone who marries for money earns it.

My old grandpappy always said, "You can love a rich girl just as much as a poor one, maybe even more."

[tryasimight]

Swissie has broken (my) cardinal rule...Never be older than the mother -in-law.

[tryasimight]

5 minutes ago, The Deerhunter said:

Not sure from the original post where the daughter and Swiss hubby reside.  Not in Thailand it seems.  Which seems unusual because it seems the thrust of the program is about Thais and Farangs making it here with Thai culture.  

I got the impression he was overseas sending money to both wifey and the in laws

[Justgrazing]

Encouraged by the beeb story some girls went to extreme lengths to bag thereselves a farang .. 

[Thai Ron]

1 hour ago, Ombra said:

This is another lazy piece of research which has produced results of little interest.

The post count in the thread suggests otherwise

[al007]

19 minutes ago, SpeakeasyThai said:

The previous three were ladyboys?

Bad guess, 1st from USA 16 yrs

                     2nd UK 14 yrs

                     3rd Russian/Israeli jewish witch from hell Eighteen months too many

Ladyboys never appealed