Questions about getting old in Thailand.... personal things

[The manic]

Take Atarax. A glass of red wine and half a valium.  or Watch tv. or Read books. or Consider your wakefulness a blessing. 50 is not even old. Use cialis for sex...go to massage parlours where the girls are experts

[Kaoboi Bebobp]

A great thread and I see many positive attitudes. And why not? We're all pretty blessed to be here in SEA (I recently left Thailand for Vietnam).  I also feel so lucky to have had a decent pension. I remind myself every day about how lucky I am. It helps me to let go of so many of the little negative bits that can gnaw on you if you let them. 

 

If you find yourself moaning or whining about something, even if it's only an interior conversation, bring up a positive list and dwell on that. You are lucky. I am lucky. Everyone here is lucky to be here.

 

Tip No. 1: Stop reading and watching the political news back home. It keeps you in a negative mindset and takes you back to other issues, the ones you vowed to leave behind.  Don't waste your time reading about something you can't change. Instead, read a novel or long piece on philosophy or recent findings from the long-term galaxy probe. Reading helps keep the  mind sharp and helps a great deal toward relaxing me.  

 

Tip No .2 Keep physically active. Ever since I resumed long walks, about 3 to 5 km a day, I feel so much better and I'm losing weight, or at the least, keeping off the alcohol calories. Cooking, cleaning, shopping. I go shopping for food, which I make at home. The variety is great and it's fun. I do my own laundry, my own cleaning. Keep active. 

 

 I'm in my 60s. Yes, my sleeping is interrupted for the usual reasons 2-3 times a night. But I still get a good rest, which makes for a much better day. Probably sleep 6.5 to 8 hours a night. 7.5-8 hours is definitely best!

 

My libido has suffered due to losing all interest in the girl game for over 2 years. Nothing horrible, but just didn't want to play any more in Thailand. But having moved here to Vietnam, my interest has revived. Yup, it's a question of attitude, mine and theirs. Viet girls have a very keen mind, which is so refreshing. I'll leave it at that. 

 

 

[bazza73]

2 hours ago, Kaoboi Bebobp said:

 

My libido has suffered due to losing all interest in the girl game for over 2 years. Nothing horrible, but just didn't want to play any more in Thailand. But having moved here to Vietnam, my interest has revived. Yup, it's a question of attitude, mine and theirs. Viet girls have a very keen mind, which is so refreshing. I'll leave it at that. 

 

 

Having holidayed in Vietnam a couple of years ago, I can understand why some of us find it attractive. I really liked Danang and Dalat.

I understand quite a few retirees are finding Vietnam's visa regime less onerous than Thailand's 800,000 baht/ 65,000 baht/month retirement visa system. Perhaps you could enlighten us further.

One thing I did find bewildering - Vietnam is a Communist country. Yet the police and army presence is scarcely visible. The police and army are ubiquitous in Thailand, and it's supposed to be a democracy.

[Kaoboi Bebobp]

15 hours ago, bazza73 said:

Having holidayed in Vietnam a couple of years ago, I can understand why some of us find it attractive. I really liked Danang and Dalat.

I understand quite a few retirees are finding Vietnam's visa regime less onerous than Thailand's 800,000 baht/ 65,000 baht/month retirement visa system. Perhaps you could enlighten us further.

One thing I did find bewildering - Vietnam is a Communist country. Yet the police and army presence is scarcely visible. The police and army are ubiquitous in Thailand, and it's supposed to be a democracy.

 

[OT: Anything official, e.g., visa, driver's licence, is done via the backdoor. A 6-month multi-entry Business visa (tourist visas only run up to 3 months and then you have to leave) cost me $290US/10,000 baht, arranged through a well recommended Viet provider. The only requirement is to report your address once to the local police. The Business visa is extendable in-country via an agent. Am waiting for word on extension cost at the moment.] 

 

Back on topic: Few things make you feel older but deciding to give up riding the motorbike at night is one. It's just too dangerous in Pattaya and probably Bangkok. An injury takes much longer to recover from.

 

 

[LostinSEA]

16 hours ago, bazza73 said:

Having holidayed in Vietnam a couple of years ago, I can understand why some of us find it attractive. I really liked Danang and Dalat.

I understand quite a few retirees are finding Vietnam's visa regime less onerous than Thailand's 800,000 baht/ 65,000 baht/month retirement visa system. Perhaps you could enlighten us further.

One thing I did find bewildering - Vietnam is a Communist country. Yet the police and army presence is scarcely visible. The police and army are ubiquitous in Thailand, and it's supposed to be a democracy.

 

I would also love to hear about the Visa situation in Vietnam, it used to be really onerous but I believe it's got much better nowadays.

 

Well at least I hope it has, I'm expecting Visa Exempt when I get to Hanoi on Nov 4th but still remember my 1st (2008) attempt at a visit there when I was denied check-in at Changi & had to switch to a flight to Phuket

 

[tutsiwarrior]

I haveta admit that I had my 60+ y.o. bones shaken up when I had the opportunity to live and work for a year on the remote north central VN coast (Nghe An - Ha Tinh - Quang Binh) which is as beautiful as anywhere on the west coast of the US where I useta live...the wild natural beauty was reinvigorating and I also made some friends there that were genuinely glad to see me when I went for a visit in July after some years...women 40 years younger and now with their own families with whom I can engage in intelligent conversation unlike other places that I have lived in SE Asia...but they are educated and middle class and I was lucky as they hadn't chosen to migrate to the big city to seek their fortune...they managed the accommodation where I stayed during that time...

 

that episode was the most remarkable of my present declining years...little surprises that occur when they're least expected...

 

 

[Rhys]

Keep active...take care of your needs in moderation... have a hobby....

[PGSan]

On 17/10/2017 at 9:03 PM, simon43 said:

 

So why should you not be happy with a low libido? 

 

It's like asking someone who feels full after eating a small meal if they get frustrated because they can't eat a big meal :)

 

 

Over the last 5 to 10 years, both of these activities have changed quite a lot for me so I can comment on what Simon suggests here.

 

Although both lower libido and lower appetite are good for health(??!) and certainly for the wallet, I still very much miss the reasonably high levels of both that I used to both enjoy and indulge.   Thus I am a contradiction to both of Simon’s suggested truisms.

 

This is because I have not lost my intellectual interest and enthusiasm for high quality, quantity, and of course variety, of both physical intimacy and food/drink, only the physical possibility and enjoyment have lowered considerably.

 

For both of these important (to me) aspects of life-quality, losing my ability to indulge without worries in such quantity has also caused some loss in quality but not, so far, in variety!  

 

[Age, weight, etc. available on request — also discussion of the variety and quality in both:-).]

[simon43]

... only the physical possibility and enjoyment have lowered considerably.

 

LoL, it's the other way round for me.  I can get an impressive 'stiffy' and go 'all the way'.  But my interest in doing so had dropped considerably after 3 selfish wives and the increasing physical size of bar-girls and their 'me,me' attitude.

 

I just can't see the point of wasting time or money on either 

[smotherb]

You seem to be having some issues which are nagging away at you. I would try to figure out what it is you are missing in your life or what it is that concerns you so. If you sit down, think it over, and are honest with yourself; you should be able to figure it out.  If you cannot, then I would think about seeking professional help. You are still a young man, if you are approaching middle age and are not one of those who think middle age is 65. So, you have a lot of years left. You do not say if you are healthy, have a love relationship, have friends and interests here in Thailand, or if you are financially secure. You also do not mention your cultural awareness, your ability acclimate and make friends here and accept others.  I think happiness must involve all of those things.  Nevertheless, all those things are relative; you can be happy with minimal cultural awareness, a controllable illness, a limited income, only a few friends, and even a one-sided relationship; if you keep your wits about you, realize it, and not be fooled.

 

I am almost 73. I go to bed whenever I am tired, usually early morning. I arise 8-10 or so hours later; whenever I am ready. I eat and drink whatever I like, probably too much of both, but I like it and I am old enough to know what I like. I have Thai and farang friends and try to get along with both. I don’t worry about much; I am in good health and am financially and emotionally secure. I do have a short temper, always have; but I also get over it quickly and bear no grudges. I like to go away for vacations with my wife and socialize with old friends. At home, I do academic research and write and enjoy my wife’s cooking. I like to ride my Harley with my brothers, which keeps my left wrist and ankle in good shape. I do occasionally ride an exercise bike and go up and down the stairs in my three story house, but not much else. My libido is as strong as ever, I think about sex much more than the old boy can perform. However, a lovely younger wife who is still interested in me does wonders for the old fellow. All in all, I am fine with my life—it could be better, but it sure as hell could be worse.

[JLCrab]

Well I am happy to read here that some are now satisfied with their current state-of-affairs even if it took 3 or 4 previous wives to get there.

[LannaGuy]

Yes the aging gig is no fun...  interrupted sleep, and tired after even working for 30 mins, overheat, can't get a hard on/or can't 'finish' and hairs growing where they should not be!

 

youth is wasted on the young 

 

PS the other thing I do a lot, lot more of is contemplate death, not that I fear it, but the manner of it

Edited October 26, 2017 by LannaGuy

[Naam]

14 minutes ago, LannaGuy said:

hairs growing where they should not be!

and i thought i was the only one who has to shave his pecker once in a while. 

[bazza73]

2 hours ago, Naam said:

and i thought i was the only one who has to shave his pecker once in a while. 

It's time to start worrying if it grows on the palms of your hands.

[bazza73]

13 hours ago, smotherb said:

You seem to be having some issues which are nagging away at you. I would try to figure out what it is you are missing in your life or what it is that concerns you so. If you sit down, think it over, and are honest with yourself; you should be able to figure it out.  If you cannot, then I would think about seeking professional help. You are still a young man, if you are approaching middle age and are not one of those who think middle age is 65. So, you have a lot of years left. You do not say if you are healthy, have a love relationship, have friends and interests here in Thailand, or if you are financially secure. You also do not mention your cultural awareness, your ability acclimate and make friends here and accept others.  I think happiness must involve all of those things.  Nevertheless, all those things are relative; you can be happy with minimal cultural awareness, a controllable illness, a limited income, only a few friends, and even a one-sided relationship; if you keep your wits about you, realize it, and not be fooled.

 

 

 

I am almost 73. I go to bed whenever I am tired, usually early morning. I arise 8-10 or so hours later; whenever I am ready. I eat and drink whatever I like, probably too much of both, but I like it and I am old enough to know what I like. I have Thai and farang friends and try to get along with both. I don’t worry about much; I am in good health and am financially and emotionally secure. I do have a short temper, always have; but I also get over it quickly and bear no grudges. I like to go away for vacations with my wife and socialize with old friends. At home, I do academic research and write and enjoy my wife’s cooking. I like to ride my Harley with my brothers, which keeps my left wrist and ankle in good shape. I do occasionally ride an exercise bike and go up and down the stairs in my three story house, but not much else. My libido is as strong as ever, I think about sex much more than the old boy can perform. However, a lovely younger wife who is still interested in me does wonders for the old fellow. All in all, I am fine with my life—it could be better, but it sure as hell could be worse.

 

 

 

Excellent post.

[ghworker2010]

On 10/7/2017 at 10:14 PM, Denim said:

My bad .......Dormirax 25

 

Also good for sting and insect bites,as you would expect.

where did you buy that from? Ive tried many pharmacies but they do not sell

[Denim]

1 hour ago, ghworker2010 said:

where did you buy that from? Ive tried many pharmacies but they do not sell

Just keep trying. They are non prescription and cost 20 baht a sheet. 

 

Even where I live only 1 in 4 pharmacies stock them.

 

They don't help much in getting you to sleep but once you do , you sleep well and for a long time.

[Sheryl]

4 hours ago, Denim said:

Just keep trying. They are non prescription and cost 20 baht a sheet. 

 

Even where I live only 1 in 4 pharmacies stock them.

 

They don't help much in getting you to sleep but once you do , you sleep well and for a long time.

This is the same thing as Atarax 25 mg  which all pharmacies have. Also available in some other brand names, the generic name is hydroxyzine.

 

 

[how241]

6 hours ago, Denim said:

Just keep trying. They are non prescription and cost 20 baht a sheet. 

 

Even where I live only 1 in 4 pharmacies stock them.

 

They don't help much in getting you to sleep but once you do , you sleep well and for a long time.

About 30-45 minutes after you take them,  have a drink or two.  It will quickly knock you out and keep you asleep.  You might still feel it in the morning and need a cup of coffee to get going. I would recommend 10-15 mg . ....The usual is 25 mg ,   so break it in half.

[MarcIssan]

Well I'm 69 and have been impatient all my life. That's what drove me. Now I'm retired, married, no kids here, and spet a great of time learning things I didn't have time for before. I keep my mind sharp and active and have a list of curious subjects to study. Most recently about the connection between food and disease.

 

Since moving here 1.5 years ago I lost 22 lbs, stopped snoring, sleep apnea disappeared, blood pressure returned to normal, and I sleep as long as my body requires. 

 

I see no reduction in libido and I use Cialis at times to make sure I'm ready when she is. Online they are cheap. About $1.20 each when I order 350. 

 

I feel every day I awake will be a good day. I make it so myself...how good or bad is really my own opinion so why not make every day a great one.

 

I control my own happiness, my own level of devotion to my wife, my own self worth. The alternative is unacceptable.

[NeoDinosaw]

On 10/2/2017 at 12:04 PM, thaikahuna said:

I'm 65, married to my wife for 5 years and been together for 8 years. I am also a PTSD patient, so a good nights sleep is almost unheard of for me. My problem is getting up 2-3 times a night to go pee. Getting older is not easy and adapting to the rapidly changing environment we live in makes things that much harder. I think growing old, becoming less healthy and dying (possibly alone) in a foreign country is a concern for many. Evaluate your situation, rely on the advice and counsel of some trusted friends and do what is best for you.

Have you been checked for prostate cancer.  Getting up to pee often during the night is a symptom

[JLCrab]

To the guy above: Control is when you tell her when you are ready.

[tonray]

3 hours ago, NeoDinosaw said:

Have you been checked for prostate cancer.  Getting up to pee often during the night is a symptom

Getting up to pee often during the night is a common symptom of BPH (Benign Prostatic Hyperplasia) or enlarged prostate much more often than it is a sign of cancer

[yooper]

5 hours ago, tonray said:

Getting up to pee often during the night is a common symptom of BPH (Benign Prostatic Hyperplasia) or enlarged prostate much more often than it is a sign of cancer

Try to empty your bladder just before going to sleep, don't drink much for the last couple hrs before bedtime.  Age can weaken the muscles for bladder control. Prostate cancer is an all day pee problem (difficulty), not just night time. 

[yooper]

On 10/19/2017 at 5:47 AM, soalbundy said:

I will be 70 next year. I am very happy and in surprising good health.  I am slim, keep active and look a lot younger than my age despite two packs of cigarettes a day but no alcohol. I live in the country in a village so no night life, We go to bed at 8 pm and get up at 4:30 although my 10 year old son and my 16 year old step daughter sleep longer. I have a lot of intellectual interests, physics, history,languages etc. and since 6 months I have become interested in Vedanta and the Upanishads (basis concepts of Hinduism and very similar to Buddhism) I meditate a lot (kriya) very good for tranquility and standing back from drama when it happens and silently observing. Libido is so so, could be a lot better but it neither bothers me or the wife.  I keep waiting for the aches and pains but that only seems to happen to others thank God.

Thanks for the reminder!  I just turned 71 the day of your post, hmmm....  I and my wife are coming to Thailand for 4 months with thoughts of a more permanent return for the next trip.  During my time in SEA in the early 70's I collected a number of books on Hinduism, Buddhism, and Taoism,  I planned to revisit them in my 'golden' years and almost forgot about them until reading your comment, ha!  I will be sure to bring along some of the thinner volumes .  I have a 2 volume set of Upanishads translation by Max Muller which is a bit heavy to pack for this trip (couple weeks from now)  but I also have a small 85 page book  'The Spirit of the Upanishads' by Yogi Ramacharaka which will not add any weight to my carry-on.  As a Christian, my hero is Thomas Merton who embraced the eastern philosophies and religions, and died in Bangkok in the late 60's.  His book 'The Way of Chuang Tzu'  is also a smallish paperback that will easily fit in my laptop case and help ease the long flight over the pacific.  Boredom should not be an issue during our stay as we have a lot of family in Samut Prakan, including a young generation of nieces and nephews.

 

[pattayadude]

On 10/2/2017 at 4:47 PM, ghworker2010 said:

I feel my level of happiness is also slowly going down as I get older. Im getting angry all the time at little things. Is this normal when you get older.

The slow realization of approaching  the end of life, as it's unavoidable, is the core reason of many of the physiological (like anger, lack of interest in sex and unhappiness) and subsequently physical  issues(ED, insomnia, fatigue etc) one faces at older ages.

The key word being "unavoidable" above, all you can do is how you protect yourself from letting it get the best of you.

I can suggest to eat right, stop smoking and lower or stop drinking and start spending part of your savings towards the things and people you love, keep yourself busy with stuff you like to do and exercise regularly to sleep like a baby.

Your insomnia, libido,health and happiness levels will improve dramatically with all the positive things you newly introduced yourself to and by lowering your expectations a notch, anger will subside as well.

i.e. You don't have to get there exactly at 3pm and even if you miss that flight, it's only money and you have that covered.

Turn that "traffic like a parking lot" into a concert hall by tuning in the station of your choice and sing along or even connect to your favorite  talk radio of your country of origin (KFI 640 Los Angeles in my case) by a simple smart phone/data/a $10 Bluetooth speaker combination and laugh it off

You're only getting better, not getting old!

Cheers!

[Nemises]

Above poster, well said.

[pattayadude]

I don't even believe cancer is a hereditary disease.

We all carry the cancerous cells but they are like sleeper cells, dormant until activated. Only your diet can activate them so control it.

Get the 3 whites(salt,flour,sugar) out of your life after a certain age.

it may be tough in the beginning like quitting cigs but after a while, your body gets used to the less sweet and less salty tastes and automatically rejects the bad and accepts the good.

Now that you have created almost 3 hours of free and healthy time a day by not smoking a pack and less body weight by eating a seafood salad instead of a pepperoni pizza , you can invest this on walking or kayaking or riding a bicycle for a couple of hours in the afternoon when it's not too hot.

Now that you have become also an active person, you deserve a small glass of wine or two at night with your light dinner and your sweetheart by your side,you will feel that tingle down below, and you know it's time for a little action.

I bet you will sleep better and longer than before and won't wake up with a stiff body, aches and pains all over associated with getting older.

Try it.

 

 

 

[transam]

3 minutes ago, pattayadude said:

I don't even believe cancer is a hereditary disease.

We all carry the cancerous cells but they are like sleeper cells, dormant until activated. Only your diet can activate them so control it.

Get the 3 whites(salt,flour,sugar) out of your life after a certain age.

it may be tough in the beginning like quitting cigs but after a while, your body gets used to the less sweet and less salty tastes and automatically rejects the bad and accepts the good.

Now that you have created almost 3 hours of free and healthy time a day by not smoking a pack and less body weight by eating a seafood salad instead of a pepperoni pizza , you can invest this on walking or kayaking or riding a bicycle for a couple of hours in the afternoon when it's not too hot.

Now that you have become also an active person, you deserve a small glass of wine or two at night with your light dinner and your sweetheart by your side,you will feel that tingle down below, and you know it's time for a little action.

I bet you will sleep better and longer than before and won't wake up with a stiff body, aches and pains all over associated with getting older.

Try it.

 

 

 

So you don't believe in family genes then....?

[pattayadude]

I believe in family genes but I also believe cancer is preventable.

it starts with believing and then doing all you can to prevent it, fight it all your life like you work 8 hours a day for 50+ years to make a living.

Life isn't easy.