Helping someone get out of an abusive house?

[Kairi]

Has anyone here helped a random person get out of an abusive situation? 

[impulse]

It would be helpful to know a little more, like the constraints (economic, emotional, cultural, handcuffs, etc) that are keeping the person in the situation, along with your motives for getting involved.

 

Edit:  And just a heads up- the best course of action may not be the one you're thinking.

 

[Kairi]

I'm the one who's in a mentally abusive household. I'm not sure it was safe to post it here considering the one who is abusing is on this Site too but not in this forum.

[scubascuba3]

Who is doing the abusing? Thai or farang? And what's the money situation?

[scoutman360]

Kairi, ignore Scuba. Totally irrelevant. I grew up in an abusive family and eventually planned my escape. I was 15 yrs old with no where to go and no money. I survived on my own (with help of compassionate strangers) and you can too! I even finished school and university. Find a friend, relative, temple, church, anyone to help you. There are many people who will. You just need to ask. Be strong and don't let the abusive people talk you out of it. Plan quietly, and when the time is right, go secretly. Make sure they don't know where to find you. Again. Be strong.  You need courage and confidence that things will only get better. Good luck.

 

 

[Aussieroaming]

As my ex said to me "someone has to get off of the merry-go-round" . But it really does take that, you have to remove yourself from the situation unless the other person does. Good luck

[dotpoom]

7 hours ago, Aussieroaming said:

As my ex said to me "someone has to get off of the merry-go-round" . But it really does take that, you have to remove yourself from the situation unless the other person does. Good luck

With respect...isn't that the problem...the OP is asking how to do just that....there are obviously complications that they felt they cannot talk about here.

[MaeJoMTB]

Yeah, my wife tried it.

A month later the woman returned to her husband and told him how my wife hid and protected her.

Now the husband hates my wife for causing them 'marital problems'.

Mind your own business.

 

Now OP has confessed ...........

Wait until person you no longer want to live with goes out for a few hours.

Gather your stuff, in a big bag, then catch a bus to another town.

 

Did it myself with a Thai girl that was totally insane, she went to visit her family for a weekend, I wasn't there when she returned.

 

[KKr]

what area of the country are you in?
in the North, there are many foundations that are taking care of persons that were in similar situations to you.
PM me and I will put you in touch.

[Berkshire]

17 hours ago, Kairi said:

I'm the one who's in a mentally abusive household. I'm not sure it was safe to post it here considering the one who is abusing is on this Site too but not in this forum.

You're a male or female?  Thai or foreigner?  If foreigner, western or other?  Is the abuser your spouse or other?  Abuser Thai or foreigner?  Kids involved?  Money issues?

 

You can see that it's impossible to answer your question(s) without knowing your situation.  Obviously you wouldn't be asking the question if you could just "walk out."  Unless you're trolling. 

[Kairi]

59 minutes ago, Berkshire said:

You're a male or female?  Thai or foreigner?  If foreigner, western or other?  Is the abuser your spouse or other?  Abuser Thai or foreigner?  Kids involved?  Money issues?

 

You can see that it's impossible to answer your question(s) without knowing your situation.  Obviously you wouldn't be asking the question if you could just "walk out."  Unless you're trolling. 

I'm female, I'm half Thai half american, my father is the one verbally abusing and my mother just makes it worse by arguing. I'm almost 24 and I'm stuck .. been stuck in the situation for almost 7 years. 

I'm private messaging someone now for help. Thank you all for the advice.

[Berkshire]

46 minutes ago, Kairi said:

I'm female, I'm half Thai half american, my father is the one verbally abusing and my mother just makes it worse by arguing. I'm almost 24 and I'm stuck .. been stuck in the situation for almost 7 years. 

I'm private messaging someone now for help. Thank you all for the advice.

Fair enough.  So it's only "verbal" abuse?  Hope that's it.  I'm just at a loss to understand how a 24 year old can be "stuck."  But perhaps you'll get some sound advice from the PM. 

[sanemax]

56 minutes ago, Kairi said:

I'm female, I'm half Thai half american, my father is the one verbally abusing and my mother just makes it worse by arguing. I'm almost 24 and I'm stuck .. been stuck in the situation for almost 7 years. 

I'm private messaging someone now for help. Thank you all for the advice.

Why dont you move out ?

24 is quite old to be living at home

[Kadilo]

27 minutes ago, Berkshire said:

Fair enough.  So it's only "verbal" abuse?  Hope that's it.  I'm just at a loss to understand how a 24 year old can be "stuck."  But perhaps you'll get some sound advice from the PM. 

Only? If it's enough to feel the need to share and ask for help then I'm guessing it's pretty bad. 

As for being "stuck".....no money, job, family, friends to turn to, dependent on parents, fear".......any number of reasons. 

[Kairi]

19 minutes ago, Kadilo said:

Only? If it's enough to feel the need to share and ask for help then I'm guessing it's pretty bad. 

As for being "stuck".....no money, job, family, friends to turn to, dependent on parents, fear".......any number of reasons. 

It's fear, I have help now. My parents adopted me so I don't feel like I have family. I was just told I was adopted not too long ago which added more shock to me..  

[Rimmer]

A troll post and a reply have been removed

[Berkshire]

35 minutes ago, Kadilo said:

Only? If it's enough to feel the need to share and ask for help then I'm guessing it's pretty bad. 

As for being "stuck".....no money, job, family, friends to turn to, dependent on parents, fear".......any number of reasons. 

Geez man, take it easy.  I wasn't implying that verbal abuse is nothing, only that it could be much worse. 

[Rhys]

Geez, and jeepers.... be creative, and you will find your way... options perhaps in the states... but prepare to leave and walk away and never turn back...

[Kadilo]

11 minutes ago, Berkshire said:

Geez man, take it easy.  I wasn't implying that verbal abuse is nothing, only that it could be much worse. 

Apologies. 

[thaibeachlovers]

Difficult when not having enough info, but have you tried to work out WHY there is verbal abuse and is it possible to modify it or make changes that remove you from proximity without actually leaving? Do you have a job that takes you out of the house?

As others have said, the only real way to escape is to leave and go far away, but that takes money, and we don't know if the OP has enough, or even any.

[thaibeachlovers]

8 hours ago, MaeJoMTB said:

Yeah, my wife tried it.

A month later the woman returned to her husband and told him how my wife hid and protected her.

Now the husband hates my wife for causing them 'marital problems'.

Mind your own business.

 

Now OP has confessed ...........

Wait until person you no longer want to live with goes out for a few hours.

Gather your stuff, in a big bag, then catch a bus to another town.

 

Did it myself with a Thai girl that was totally insane, she went to visit her family for a weekend, I wasn't there when she returned.

 

If my ex had not agreed to a quicky divorce I was going to do that.

Half my size but I thought she was going to off me. I slept by myself with the door locked.

Abuse is probably the worst thing that can happen short of physical violence.