Daughter disowns father for having younger Thai GF

[JLCrab]

31 minutes ago, Lucky mike said:

<snip> ....daughter will soften over time <snip2>

Then again, she might harden.

[wwest5829]

I am sorry that he is being subjected to this by his Daughter. Girl, if you love your Father you want to see him happy (yes, OK, no fool like an old fool could be said for many of us here in Thailand). But that is the bottom line here, she is grown, has her life and should not begrudge her Father happiness. Jeeez... she would go into apoplexy dealing with the idea that my Love is 25 years younger (easy does it...I am ancient so my Love is not a tart).

[JLCrab]

The daughter may be a borderline nut case and it may be unreasonable to expect her to change her stance over time.

[Nemises]

It’s worth noting that the daughter’s stance is 100% supported by the daughter’s husband...and also by the parents and siblings of the daughter’s husband.

[Nemises]

Because there was an earlier post suggesting that the dad try speaking with the son-in-law.

[ukrules]

7 hours ago, Gregster said:

Daughter has nothing against Asians but considers older western men with much younger Asian partners as “disgusting”.

 

5 years is not much younger, especially when you're of 'grandfather age' so presumably at least 50-60 years old.

 

Now if this controlling daughter was talking about a 20 year age gap then she would have a point but 5 years, that's nothing.

 

I've had girlfriends more than 5 years younger than me when I lived in Europe and that was when I was in my early thirties. It's not that unusual at all. They weren't Asian so I guess this would be ok for his daughter

 

Edited December 16, 2017 by ukrules

[metisdead]

A post containing offensive language has been removed. 

[MaeJoMTB]

24 minutes ago, Gregster said:

It’s worth noting that the daughter’s stance is 100% supported by the daughter’s husband...and also by the parents and siblings of the daughter’s husband.

No surprise, opinionated women always marry cucks.

[Dap]

It could be that the daughter (previously very close to father) wouldn't accept

any girlfriend at all but just applied these standards as opposed to telling him

he just shouldn't have a girlfriend, period!  Might be "ruffled feathers" caused

by jealousy.

[Nemises]

 

5 years is not much younger, especially when you're of 'grandfather age' so presumably at least 50-60 years old.

 

Now if this controlling daughter was talking about a 20 year age gap then she would have a point but 5 years, that's nothing.

 

I've had girlfriends more than 5 years younger than me when I lived in Europe and that was when I was in my early thirties. It's not that unusual at all. They weren't Asian so I guess this would be ok for his daughter

 

 

It’s a lot more than 5 years mate. More like 30. See post # 161

 

His Thai GF is the same age as his daughter.

[Slain]

Maybe as time goes by his daughter may be older and wiser enough to soften her approach.

By the sound of her, that may not happen though.

Unless, perhaps she has some life experiences enough, to make her realise that things arent always so simple.

 

 

[pgrahmm]

You know, the US kind of has that attitude.....

It's big enough & beautiful enough that people think they've "travelled" when in reality they've just spent their weeks vacation going maybe 2 states away - or to Florida, NY, SF....Many never really travel....But think they have.....

 

The people that come from postage stamp sized countries (EU) almost understand better because crossing borders & some cultural lines can be a common thing.....

 

To some in the states it signifies abandonment & rejection when somebody moves to a different country & culture....They can't process it well......

 

I'm sure part of that is the feeling going through "family"......We're watching through the flip side of the experience....More wizened in that regard.....

[theguyfromanotherforum]

On 12/14/2017 at 2:40 PM, samsensam said:

and has always given her nothing but the best eg 2 x nice cars, a University education resulting multiple degrees, a huge “no expense spared” spectacular wedding, numerous overseas holidays etc.

 

and therein may lie the problem... there's more to being a parent than opening your wallet

 

 

 

Or perhaps he is opening his wallet for his new thai gf as most western men do?

 

The problem with these posts is we only have a biased op without any facts from the other side.

 

 

[MaeJoMTB]

Just now, theguyfromanotherforum said:

The problem with these posts is we only have a biased op without any facts from the other side.

Women don't usually deal in facts, what other side did you want to hear from?

[theguyfromanotherforum]

1 minute ago, MaeJoMTB said:

Women don't usually deal in facts, what other side did you want to hear from?

 

Well, Joe....if she "disowned" him like the OP suggests that would mean she wouldn't be getting any more money from her papa. So all this women bashing that comes from you and the op makes very little sense....unless the OP is full of crap.

 

And I agree with you....women make very little sense, but so do men who act like children when they fall for some young p.

 

I just think the OP is full of crap and one sided....that's all.

 

 

[MaeJoMTB]

2 minutes ago, theguyfromanotherforum said:

I just think the OP is full of crap and one sided....that's all.

I'll agree there's something iffy with the OP.

But there has always been click bait threads on this forum.

[Nemises]

 
Well, Joe....if she "disowned" him like the OP suggests that would mean she wouldn't be getting any more money from her papa.
 
 
 

Money has got nothing to do it.

Refer post #31

[JLCrab]

I've only stayed along for the ride as it sounds like this guy's daughter would maybe get along just fine with my brother's wife as mentioned earlier.

 

I only had one verbal slugfest with her over my sordid life in Thailand with my brother present who said nothing. He later told me that after I left she asked him why he had not backed her up. My brother said that he told her: 1. You were wrong and 2. It was none of your business.

[SteveMack]

On 14/12/2560 at 2:33 PM, Gregster said:

 

 

Many thanks. Will pass on.

He divorced his (Western) wife after he caught her cheating. Hence his aversion now towards Western women.

His daughter is fully aware her mother cheated and she is also aware her Dad wants a GF from a different culture.

It made no difference, the daughter is not backing down on her position.

 

 

Jealousy or Control springs to mind.

[theguyfromanotherforum]

6 minutes ago, Gregster said:

 

Money has got nothing to do it.

Refer post #31

 

 

Okay. Then why mention how much daddy helped her in the first place, unless you are trying to discredit her? So what if he bought 2 cars for her child? Don't old men in Thailand buy motorcycles and build houses for their thai wife's brother?

 

We only have one sided story here.

[Nemises]

But there has always been click bait threads on this forum.

Click bait thread??

Read post #1 .... I was hoping to get feedback from other Dads only (who have been in this situation). Hardly a click bait thread.

[MaeJoMTB]

11 minutes ago, Gregster said:

Click bait thread??
Read post #1 .... I was hoping to get feedback from other Dads only (who have been in this situation). Hardly a click bait thread.

 

The strangeness derives from you defending 'the friends daughter' to all comers.

Anyway, you've had all the answers you need, as far as I can tell we've all kept the young Thai woman and dumped the worthless white daughters. But this thread did make me think about my own worthless English daughter, I've just blocked her from all my current Thai family facebook accounts, and ditched the only email address she had for me (I never gave her my Thai address of phone number). She can live without seeing me again, or her new half siblings.

Edited December 16, 2017 by MaeJoMTB

[Nemises]

 
Okay. Then why mention how much daddy helped her in the first place, unless you are trying to discredit her? So what if he bought 2 cars for her child? Don't old men in Thailand buy motorcycles and build houses for their thai wife's brother?
 
We only have one sided story here.

I mentioned how much her Dad helped her so as to advise readers that he always provided generously for his daughter ..ie he was a good dad.

Had I not mentioned that, readers may have thought that he was a deadbeat or selfish father who didn’t care much for his daughter.

[theguyfromanotherforum]

2 minutes ago, Gregster said:

 

 

I mentioned how much her Dad helped her so as to advise readers that he always provided generously for his daughter ..ie he was a good dad.

Had I not mentioned that, readers may have thought that he was a deadbeat or selfish father who didn’t care much for his daughter.

 

 

 

Ok....I believe your explanation, but I'm always curious what the other side has to say.

 

[MaeJoMTB]

7 minutes ago, Gregster said:

I mentioned how much her Dad helped her so as to advise readers that he always provided generously for his daughter ..ie he was a good dad.

A variation on Briffault's Law,

No past benefit you provided a female, counts in your current or future favour.

Edited December 16, 2017 by MaeJoMTB

[Nemises]

 
Ok....I believe your explanation, but I'm always curious what the other side has to say.
 

Many thanks for believing. The “other side” sent an email only to her Dad. So it’s pretty easy to read everything she had to say. With her Dad’s permission I can PM you the email, obviously with names, email addys removed. Let me know...

[Acemaker]

On 12/14/2017 at 7:38 AM, JLCrab said:

An 'acceptable' girlfriend is no more than 5 years younger than himself or herself -- in many cases herein the new Thai GF would be 5 years younger than the daughter.

[xylophone]

 

10 minutes ago, MaeJoMTB said:

But this thread did make me think about my own worthless English daughter, I've just blocked her from all my current Thai family facebook accounts, and ditched the only email address she had for me (I never gave her my Thai address of phone number). She can live without seeing me again, or her new half siblings.

Interesting that this thread has brought on-board several posters who have have similar experiences with their sons/daughters, as have I.

 

My wife and I divorced back in the UK in 1982 and despite the divorce being quite acrimonious from her side of things, I gave her more than she asked for despite only being married for three years, this because we had a son and I wanted him to have a good start and for her not to struggle financially.

 

I loved my son and took time off work to look after him whilst she went on honeymoon, and I would fly him down from up north to stay with me on many weekends and we had great times.

 

I emigrated to New Zealand in 1984 and although it was an extremely hard decision on my part, I was somewhat placated because his stepfather was a nice guy and was wealthy, so they never needed for anything, and I was only seeing my son for a weekend every month (they lived at the other end of the country), so I reasoned that if I did go overseas I would return for a month every year to spend time with him, as well as keep in touch via telephone (which we did almost weekly), letter and presents and this would be just about the equivalent of seeing him for one weekend every month!

 

So that's what I did and on my annual journeys back to the UK to stay with him, we travelled around, had lots of little adventures and lots of laughs and when he got older we went to France and later on I took him to Australia and then New Zealand, and even later on in the piece paid for him to come to Thailand when I first holidayed here.

 

Although my maintenance payments should have stopped in 1984 when my ex-wife remarried, I continued to pay them until 2000 reasoning that my son would benefit from this.

 

On top of that whenever he wanted anything, he would get it and perhaps I spoiled him that way.

 

Fast forward to 2007 when I met him in Sydney, as he was a doctor doing a secondment in a hospital there, and we had a few days out and three lovely evenings visiting nice restaurants, and I thought everything was good, although I have to say that on the last evening he was very edgy with me for some reason.

 

I mentioned that I was moving permanently to Thailand and I needed to get some details re his address and email back in the UK as he was going back there shortly. However he never sent me any details when he went back to the UK and despite several emails imploring him to do so because I was finalising my Will in New Zealand, and he was going to be the beneficiary of some property, he didn't reply – – until a couple of weeks later when I got an absolutely disgusting, vile hate filled email stating that he had never considered me his father, I was evil, that his stepfather was his role model and that I had shown absolutely no care for him whatsoever and much more..........

 

Of course I was devastated so I asked what had triggered this, however I got an equally vile email from him again.

 

So after stewing on this, I told him exactly what I thought of him and what he could do with himself and his life and I got all of the items/photographs/etc I had of his, put them into a large rubbish sack and took them to the local tip, where they were crushed.

 

I told him never to contact me again unless it was to apologise and then I might consider opening up dialogue. He never did, so I have not spoken to him in 10 years and have no idea where he is.

 

And I have to say I don't really care because he was a 30-year-old man and a Dr when this happened, and intelligent enough to be able to see things in the world as they really were, this because I believe his mother had been poisoning him against me for many years. I also believe that he did not agree with my move to Thailand, commenting that I would be "whoring about".

 

Now living here, I support my ex-girlfriend and her daughter (and see them regularly), whom I have unofficially adopted, and they are the major beneficiaries in my will and I don't want anything to upset this status quo, so I don't want him back in my life, because it could upset the plans I have put in place for the two lovely Thai people in my life.

 

I have no wish to contact him again and I sincerely hope he doesn't contact me.

 

Like the OP, I have no idea why all this happened as I don't believe I did anything wrong, so there is nothing I can do to put anything right, and anyway now I have a new life to lead and new people to take care of and that's what I shall do.

 

Move on, focus on the things you can change and focus on those people who care for and love you; that's my advice for what it's worth.

[Nemises]

It’s worth a lot.

Sincere thanks for sharing.

[thailand49]

I think the age difference would get any son or daughter eyes to open up. Let's be realistic we are talking about Thailand, we know what is going on take the daughter out of the equation and we be ripping the father apart? There are many success stories but in general the chances this works out is slim and none.  Whatever income he has might now be enough to shag him a young bird in his home but 25 times that and he is looking pretty rich to this Thai, the age difference would suggest 9 out 10 she is a working girl and you guys know what type of working we are talking about and I'm being very conservative with the numbers.

The reaction from the daughter only makes the matter worse, like a drug addictive this approach isn't going to work. There is no solid solution but the father seems a reasonable man although he is love struck now and the daughter means everything to him so she should take advantage of the relationship if not already and sit and have a real conversation regarding what he is doing and the stories regarding Thai birds?  Laid it all out and if he continues at least protect himself legally and move slowly that approach is much better we will always be here for you because we love you than demanding which is pushing him further away. 

 

Good luck