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The Mother in law


Rodwalloper

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4 hours ago, 473geo said:

No need to allow others to play with your football robblok you worked hard for the money to buy it!! let them work to buy their own, and if they insist on trying to play and have the audacity to invite friends and family to play too, take your ball home.....:smile:

 

 

Strange comparison from someone who does not get it. Your happy in your relationship and its an unconventional one as I know. So be it just accept that not everyone likes a relationship like that. Have no beef with guys who know what they are in for and accept it.

 

I just don't like being in relationships that are based on money or support. To each his or her own. I prefer to be in a relationship based on wanting to be together because both are attracted to each-other and have similar interest. I don't care that others are paying for it and happy with it. That is their choice not mine. I only have a problem when guys in a relationship based on money start moaning the GF found a way to extract money from them without needing them and then think all Thai woman are out for money and post that they are. 

 

Then you got stories like colinneil who got a great wife who takes care of him after his accident and stays with him, or the story of the guy with cancer in the eye and he is now deformed and still his GF stays with him. That shows that there are plenty of good Thai woman around. Same like i got a divorce and I am still in the house and i had a totally fair divorce settlement where the wife only wanted what she put in (she worked too and paid for house and car) and nothing more. 

 

Just get a bit pissed of that the guys who got burned then act like all Thai woman are the same while in my opinion they are not.

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24 minutes ago, robblok said:

I only have a problem when guys in a relationship based on money start moaning the GF found a way to extract money from them without needing them and then think all Thai woman are out for money and post that they are. 

 

25 minutes ago, robblok said:

Just get a bit pissed of that the guys who got burned then act like all Thai woman are the same while in my opinion they are not.

Fully agree with the above

 

27 minutes ago, robblok said:

someone who does not get it

Whatever 'getting it' is - I fully understand the relationship you try to portray as acceptable to you

 

29 minutes ago, robblok said:

I prefer to be in a relationship based on wanting to be together because both are attracted to each-other and have similar interest.

If both work, time together is sadly limited, yet you feel the need to be critical of a guy most likely spending more time with his partner than you because he can afford for them not to go out to work and be a homemaker?

 

Is this the 'it' I am not getting?

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1 minute ago, 473geo said:

 

Fully agree with the above

 

Whatever 'getting it' is - I fully understand the relationship you try to portray as acceptable to you

 

If both work, time together is sadly limited, yet you feel the need to be critical of a guy most likely spending more time with his partner than you because he can afford for them not to go out to work and be a homemaker?

 

Is this the 'it' I am not getting?

No that is a private choice, I have supported GF too to work less especially with Thai working hours of 60 per week. Whatever floats someones boat in a relationship is their business. You already agreed with the only point I had about paid for relationships and people moaning about it when it goes wrong. That is the only time I care about it when it affects how people picture all Thai woman.

 

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4 minutes ago, robblok said:

No that is a private choice, I have supported GF too to work less especially with Thai working hours of 60 per week. Whatever floats someones boat in a relationship is their business. You already agreed with the only point I had about paid for relationships and people moaning about it when it goes wrong. That is the only time I care about it when it affects how people picture all Thai woman.

 

Yes agreed, but, I'm not sure that the age gap, or the fact that a guy is supporting his partner are the major contributors to the decline of a relationship in Thailand.

I think the base of a solid relationship is the respect one gives to a wife, to her future, to her security, and to her family.

In my opinion Rob too many blokes just don't step up to the mark!!  It's not the Thai women, but yes it may well be their level of expectancy the guys make no effort to meet.

 

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2 hours ago, 473geo said:

Yes agreed, but, I'm not sure that the age gap, or the fact that a guy is supporting his partner are the major contributors to the decline of a relationship in Thailand.

I think the base of a solid relationship is the respect one gives to a wife, to her future, to her security, and to her family.

In my opinion Rob too many blokes just don't step up to the mark!!  It's not the Thai women, but yes it may well be their level of expectancy the guys make no effort to meet.

 

when both get married shouldnt they know each other well enough to know whats expected.

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1 hour ago, Rodwalloper said:

when both get married shouldnt they know each other well enough to know whats expected.

That kind of makes my point, if the guy is supporting his intended already, and continues to do so, this should not be the cause of the relationship failure, similarly with an age gap it was there from the outset so should not be a major contributory factor to marriage failure.

 

So how about we look elsewhere, husband still enjoying the full extent of the Candy store after marriage. Husband thinking it is Ok to party with his mates and his Thai wife sits at home alone cooking, cleaning and washing after marriage. Husband happily drinking heavily and smoking but not willing to part with a few thousand for a member of family in need. Husband not showing respect for his wife, or her family in front of his mates or other Thai people.

 

Just a few examples I have personally witnessed where the eventual marriage failure did not come as a surprise!

 

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They can afford to, they are generous, it makes them feel good, they may actually like them, it pleases their wife, some people actually enjoy seeing other people happy (not on TV obviously), it many cases it costs very little, some people think helping someone less fortunate is more fulfilling than driving around with a newer car, ............etc etc


Sent from my iPad using Thaivisa Connect

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3 hours ago, 473geo said:

So how about we look elsewhere, husband still enjoying the full extent of the Candy store after marriage. Husband thinking it is Ok to party with his mates and his Thai wife sits at home alone cooking, cleaning and washing after marriage.

This is a normal Thai+Thai marriage.

Thai men go out with giks, wife is expected to stay home. Not saying it's right, just saying that's the way it is.

Had problems with my wife when I first married her because I would take her out, which wasn't her expectation of marriage.

 

Applying your western cultural norms to a relationship in Thailand is never going to work.

 

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3 hours ago, MaeJoMTB said:

This is a normal Thai+Thai marriage.

Thai men go out with giks, wife is expected to stay home. Not saying it's right, just saying that's the way it is.

Had problems with my wife when I first married her because I would take her out, which wasn't her expectation of marriage.

 

Applying your western cultural norms to a relationship in Thailand is never going to work.

 

 Gik, a lady who provides companionship to a married man for reward.

Sure all Thai married women are happy with this arrangement in their 20s and 30s :smile: 

Don't tell me, this is the main reason young Thai women go out to work, to help pay for the Gik

Then they can cook up a meal for when the guy returns in the evening to the rented room half pissed.

 

Not saying this doesn't happen in longer term marriages where the women is well past her sexual peak. A westerner marrying an older women and paying for a gik, well I guess it takes all sorts.

 

 

 

Edited by 473geo
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47 minutes ago, 473geo said:

A westerner marrying an older women and paying for a gik, well I guess it takes all sorts.

If by 'older woman' you mean marrying a Thai lady in her early 30s and paying for a gik in her early 20s.

Then yes, but even if you marry a woman aged 25, in 5 years you'll be hiring a gik.

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3 hours ago, MaeJoMTB said:

If by 'older woman' you mean marrying a Thai lady in her early 30s and paying for a gik in her early 20s.

Then yes, but even if you marry a woman aged 25, in 5 years you'll be hiring a gik.

If one of the attractions Thai ladies find in the westerner is that they lean towards being monogamous, then a westerner trying to replicate Thai male thinking could well contribute to marriage troubles no matter what age. As with many things using Thai 'culture' doesn't always wash :smile: In this case age becomes irrelevant.

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25 minutes ago, 473geo said:

If one of the attractions Thai ladies find in the westerner is that they lean towards being monogamous, then a westerner trying to replicate Thai male thinking could well contribute to marriage troubles no matter what age. As with many things using Thai 'culture' doesn't always wash :smile: In this case age becomes irrelevant.

Aaaaahh, you believed the 'No like Thai man' ................

When the reality is, she's too old or used to get a Thai man.

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On 3/3/2018 at 8:41 PM, MaeJoMTB said:

I thought it was a normal life.

 

im sure we agree, normal people dont normally buy a house on land they cant own and have no real control on.

(which all sooner or later will to get shafted out of.)

 

i think this OP, he probably feel bad and got shafted out of a house from a Thai wife ,

now he wanna laugh at guys who are silly enough to buy 2 houses.

 

fool me to get shafted 1 house-shame on you...

fool me to get shafted 2 house-shame on me for being a absolut xxxxxxx idiot.555

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1 hour ago, tingtongtourist said:

im sure we agree, normal people dont normally buy a house on land they cant own and have no real control on.

(which all sooner or later will to get shafted out of.)

 

i think this OP, he probably feel bad and got shafted out of a house from a Thai wife ,

now he wanna laugh at guys who are silly enough to buy 2 houses.

 

fool me to get shafted 1 house-shame on you...

fool me to get shafted 2 house-shame on me for being a absolut xxxxxxx idiot.555

 

To be fair, I did it in the UK, but I hadn't realized the judge gives it to the woman on divorce (usually 100%) and you get removed from the house the moment she files.

And I'm doing it again in Thailand, but this time the bank owns most of the house (for the next 23 years).

 

Buying a woman a house seems to be normal in almost every country of the world, whether the guy realizes it or not. 

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26 minutes ago, MaeJoMTB said:

 

To be fair, I did it in the UK, but I hadn't realized the judge gives it to the woman on divorce (usually 100%) and you get removed from the house the moment she files.

And I'm doing it again in Thailand, but this time the bank owns most of the house (for the next 23 years).

 

Buying a woman a house seems to be normal in almost every country of the world, whether the guy realizes it or not. 

so true.

but is nice to have some illusion of ownership for a small time and buy in your own name.

i guess a small chance of getting 50%  back in the end is a bonus.

 

i like your version tho, sound a bit like 'pay as you go'

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11 hours ago, MaeJoMTB said:

Aaaaahh, you believed the 'No like Thai man' ................

When the reality is, she's too old or used to get a Thai man.

Nope, I believe no woman wants to share a husband, unless the alternatives carry absolutely no benefit or appeal

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17 hours ago, MaeJoMTB said:

 

To be fair, I did it in the UK, but I hadn't realized the judge gives it to the woman on divorce (usually 100%) and you get removed from the house the moment she files.

And I'm doing it again in Thailand, but this time the bank owns most of the house (for the next 23 years).

 

Buying a woman a house seems to be normal in almost every country of the world, whether the guy realizes it or not. 

and yet.....................

In the west women are constantly telling us that it's a "man's world".

Unfortunately, they've been saying that so long that many actually believe it.

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