Farang Married / GF Thai ask where you go?

[OneMoreFarang]

Maybe post a couple of pictures of you wife here. Maybe some of us know her and can tell you where she goes...

[Justfine]

1 hour ago, samsensam said:

 

the more a partner asks me where i'm going, what i'm doing, etc. the less i'm prepared to co-operate with their paranoia,  and jealousy.

 

if you dont trust her why did you marry her?

Asking where is a basic question.

 

Where are you going?

 

None of your business!

 

 

 

[ericthai]

13 hours ago, DJ54 said:

Thanks all! She has FB but she won’t “Friend”me. Enjoy the day

Troll!!

[sead]

And the reason you arent doing the same?

[MyFriend You]

16 hours ago, DJ54 said:

Thanks all! She has FB but she won’t “Friend”me. Enjoy the day

Next post will be - Thai wife wants divorce, what are my rights as a Farang husband??  I'll give you the answer now to save you the trouble - Not Many.  50% of what you acquired while in the marraige.  If you dont have kids, I'd be looking for an exit plan if I were you, its obvious she doesn;t want to include you in her 'private life' - thats not a partnership.  I see stormy clouds on the horizon.  But what do I now, only ave lived in SE Asia off and on since I was 19 years old, I'm 68 now.

[MyFriend You]

7 hours ago, snowgard said:

My wife tell me every time where she is going and when she come back. Just if she jump to a neighbour for some minutes.

 

same here..........I don't ask, never ask, she tells me automatically, whn I told her 'you don;t have to do that everytime you go out'  she says 'Yes I'm supposed to, so you don;t worry'

[ToddinChonburi]

I think the fact she will not friend you on facebook is not good.  You can do a search for her and easily see who is liking her posts or pictures.  

[jacko45k]

It just seems to be their way, to come and go as free spirits.

Although in my case I simply told her falangs like to keep each other informed as to where they each are and she does now, particularly if she wants to take the truck!

That said some can be devious buggers! You need to develop a more trusting environment, and keep her more occupied.

 

I can always track her phone as a last resort.

[thesetat2013]

On 3/8/2018 at 8:08 AM, colinneil said:

OP take a chill pill, you are overreacting, keep calm or it will become a big issue.

Many Thai ladies have many friends, give your wife a bit of space, please.

If you dont ,it could lead to problems.

Yeah.. give her enough space to hang herself. My wife of 6 years has never withheld this if asked. Seems suspicious to say the least. She has said going to see friends then remimds me who theyare and where I meet them before.. she also sends me photos without my asking.  

Secrets are not supposed to be kept from a spouse.  This applies to thais as well

[colinneil]

4 minutes ago, thesetat2013 said:

Yeah.. give her enough space to hang herself. My wife of 6 years has never withheld this if asked. Seems suspicious to say the least. She has said going to see friends then remimds me who theyare and where I meet them before.. she also sends me photos without my asking.  

Secrets are not supposed to be kept from a spouse.  This applies to thais as well

 So you are saying you never keep anything from your wife.

Sorry i do not believe that, you always 100% honest with her,if so you would be the first man in history to do that.

[owl sees all]

7 minutes ago, colinneil said:

Sorry i do not believe that, you always 100% honest with her,if so you would be the first man in history to do that.

I've only ever told two lies to women.

 

Once when I was in a pub in Dagenham I told this lady she was beautiful. In fact she was a tub-o-lard, but I'd had a couple and was not seeing things for what they really were.

 

The other, more recent, was when my wife was putting on this expensive face cream. I said; "that stuff is wasted on you." She didn't like that!! But I quickly responded with; "you are lovely enough dear; no cream could improve you."

 

Dear, dear, dear. The things that get said just to get a shag!!

[jackspade]

28 minutes ago, colinneil said:

 So you are saying you never keep anything from your wife.

Sorry i do not believe that, you always 100% honest with her,if so you would be the first man in history to do that.

 

Straw man alert.

[Justfine]

7 minutes ago, jackspade said:

 

Straw man alert.

Exactly. Withholding info on a daily or weekly basis has red flags all over it. Thats different from not sharing 100%.

 

Maybe these guys saying relax don't want to know their wives are cheating on them. They prefer not to know. Easier that way.

 

 

[hgma]

culture, until my wife got a motorcycle collision and the hospital phoned me, ever since she tells me where about she is going!

 

[Justfine]

"Culture" is a nice way of witholding info. Thais do that to avoid confrontation.

 

They only do it to people they don't like or trust.

[Jingjock]

She has customers or a Thai husband, get out before you get hurt. Marriage means nothing here in Thailand, its just a piece of paper to suit Thais needs

[BobbyL]

Definitely cheating would be my guess. 

[bandito]

On ‎3‎/‎7‎/‎2018 at 7:23 PM, DJ54 said:

When I ask my wife where she is going she says friends. never will say where. I always answer where and who if asked. 

Do you see this as a norm? We’ve been married 1 year 

 

Probably out to see her gik.

[Scooby and Puppy]

On 08/03/2018 at 3:34 PM, Justfine said:

How much are they?

Doesn’t matter... one way or the other it’ll be worth it, good or bad news.

[jerojero]

It's a matter of trust between you and from her. . If she can't understand that with enough concern or consideration for you, she's up to no good. Find out what she's up to with friends, don't hope it improves because it won't.

[bruceamstutz]

Put the shoe on the other foot mate. If you tell her or she don't asks where your going you may have a problem. It maybe time to move on or hire a private eye to check out her wondering......  

[NonthaburiBear]

how or where did  you meet your spouse ? it'll make alot of difference

[jerojero]

Not normal. Basing your assertion on personal experience? If so your partner ought to be more open with you. Or continue living separate or secretive lives under the same roof.

[DJ54]

Met her 2 years 4 months ago married (village marriage). 13 months ago. Before when we ( I ) were happy I didn’t ask much about where and who because she usually wasn’t gone very long. 

 

One day before we were married she asked for money to cut hair. 

I asked how much she said 300....only had 1000 bills.  She didn’t come back or call for 1 week. 

 

Another incident she came home one morning still drunk and after a couple of more beers went in bathroom and drank toilet cleaner. 

 

I noticed pink liquid coming out her mouth and told Mama. We took her to hospital. She was in hospital for 3 days and nights. They put her on meds which she is still on. 

 

I stayed at hospital 3 days all day and night to make sure she was ok and if anything was needed. One night her sister said my girlfriends boyfriend (Thai) was coming to hospital and asked me please not cause  a fight. He a a male friend stayed for @ 1 hour sitting on bed. I was 2 meters away. 

 

She got got out of hospital and towed the line. Made her go to doctors to check if crazy and they gave her meds which she takes today.

 

3 weeks ago she stayed home 1 night and away 1 night. This was a total of 3 nights. I asked where and why she would not answer. 

 

Her Mama and Papa live at our house. I give them 5000 baht a month 

and buy food etc. 

 

We have a modern 2 bedroom house w/master bath and most things as modern living..   house and land paid for. 2 cars 1 paid for other monthly

pyments. 3 moto paid for. 

 

Do i I stay and enjoy life as much as possible and ignore her crap? 

Or 

leave knowing it’s a loss and forget about it. If so I will still live in Thailand. 

 

I met met her in Pattaya and she was nice fun to be with and seemed 

to be a good person. 

 

She told me she worked at bar because family didn’t have money. Also 

I found out one of her sisters was in jail for selling drugs with 4 year sentence. The sister is out now and is a pretty good person who is angry at sister for what she does to me. 

 

A friend asked me if i if I read the book. I have read it now. It says all bar girls are required to learn English to say “I’m working bar because family not have money”. As well as other phrases 

 

 

 

[Bangkok Barry]

Three questions:

1 - would you put up with her nonsense and evasive behaviour and staying out all night with no explanation if you were back home with someone from your own country?

2 - would you marry a prostitute in your own country?

3 - are you aware that there are a zillion normal well-behaved girls out there, both in Thailand and elsewhere?

[DJ54]

1- In US no. But this culture seems different. I should’ve checked before jumping in the pool. 

2- I believe people make mistakes in their lives whether from poor upbringing, education etc. So they should be given a chance. 

3- sure I suppose so.....

 

I’ve been thinking of an exit plan. I’m the type that won’t take off without taking care of responsibilities. 

 

The house,2 farms,9 cows, 1 car, 2 motos are paid for  it in my name so understood I just need to swallow the loss. 

 

Another moto in my name I will take. 

 

Any suggestion of a fair split would be appreciated. 

 

 

Edited March 14, 2018 by DJ54

[JacChang]

DJ54, we are not able to count how much gains we have acquired in life, or the losses we go through. However, one important thing to keep in mind is, The Direction of Life. Everyone on this forum, will have huge differences in the bank account from a few 100k's to millions upwards. Along the way, some lose 50k and it seems like it's the end of the world, while others lose 50million in the stock market, and keeps moving on fine. Ask yourself at this specific point in your life, what type of a person do you want to be? The one who gets dragged downwards and life gets worse each day? Trust me, things won't get better magically unless YOU, decide to.

 

What's being spent is spent. You purchased "happiness" at the price of millions, and it simply had an expiration date of 1-2 years duration. But now you need to make a decision, from this day onwards, what you want in your life, more importantly who will be on this journey with you.

 

Facing reality will help you a lot. She has her own life, and her own "true love life", unfortunately that isn't you. You are simply filling the voids in her life and allowing whatever she is doing to become true. No one else will tolerate that. If you truly love her, leave her. By pampering her and being there for her always, she will never learn to grow up and be a complete female human being.

 

And for your own good, this can easily turn into a triangular relationship, your life can be taken at any time by her many boyfriends. The life you are going through now, will be the life you will continue to go through 5-10 years down the road. Make a change now, for the better. There is still hope. Everyone deserves a loving partner, including you. Don't waste your life being one of her clothes in her closet that she can use when required.

 

Do make your exit plan firm and successful. When you do exit, she definitely will cry and want you back, you have to be prepared for that. These women exists because they know they can use "nice guys" such as you to fulfill them. You will have to be firm and make a decision that only you can proceed with without any other interferences. Good luck

[KhaoYai]

DJ54, read your last post as if you were reading something posted by someone else.  You will then have all the answers you need.

[KhaoYai]

On 06/05/2018 at 9:34 AM, KhaoYai said:

DJ54, read your last post as if you were reading something posted by someone else.  You will then have all the answers you need.

Sorry, that should be read your post of 13 March.

[mentalcolonization]

On 3/13/2018 at 2:43 PM, DJ54 said:

Met her 2 years 4 months ago married (village marriage). 13 months ago. Before when we ( I ) were happy I didn’t ask much about where and who because she usually wasn’t gone very long. 

 

One day before we were married she asked for money to cut hair. 

I asked how much she said 300....only had 1000 bills.  She didn’t come back or call for 1 week. 

 

Another incident she came home one morning still drunk and after a couple of more beers went in bathroom and drank toilet cleaner. 

 

I noticed pink liquid coming out her mouth and told Mama. We took her to hospital. She was in hospital for 3 days and nights. They put her on meds which she is still on. 

 

I stayed at hospital 3 days all day and night to make sure she was ok and if anything was needed. One night her sister said my girlfriends boyfriend (Thai) was coming to hospital and asked me please not cause  a fight. He a a male friend stayed for @ 1 hour sitting on bed. I was 2 meters away. 

 

She got got out of hospital and towed the line. Made her go to doctors to check if crazy and they gave her meds which she takes today.

 

3 weeks ago she stayed home 1 night and away 1 night. This was a total of 3 nights. I asked where and why she would not answer. 

 

Her Mama and Papa live at our house. I give them 5000 baht a month 

and buy food etc. 

 

We have a modern 2 bedroom house w/master bath and most things as modern living..   house and land paid for. 2 cars 1 paid for other monthly

pyments. 3 moto paid for. 

 

Do i I stay and enjoy life as much as possible and ignore her crap? 

Or 

leave knowing it’s a loss and forget about it. If so I will still live in Thailand. 

 

I met met her in Pattaya and she was nice fun to be with and seemed 

to be a good person. 

 

She told me she worked at bar because family didn’t have money. Also 

I found out one of her sisters was in jail for selling drugs with 4 year sentence. The sister is out now and is a pretty good person who is angry at sister for what she does to me. 

 

A friend asked me if i if I read the book. I have read it now. It says all bar girls are required to learn English to say “I’m working bar because family not have money”. As well as other phrases 

 

 

 

This  guy needs to be deported and blacklist for his safety . the writings is on the wall and you don't know what to do ?