This thai girl

[Palyacho]

Just chill . Don't be cheap with the ones that make you happy . Don't give more then what u can afford.  Thai women are basically same as any . If not happy anymore move on .

[473geo]

26 minutes ago, atyclb said:

 

generosity and being compelled to be the personal financier of a gal in order for her to spend time with you are not one in the same

 

i treat my non money grubbing friends well and they treat me well.  i would think it is because we all have self respect.

Fully understand I have a good friend, lovely guy, he too would class himself as generous, unfortunately he leans towards 'careful' more than naturally instinctively generous, he is not impulsive. Nothing wrong with that, but for this reason I would not expose him to Thailand or Thailand to him ? Both appear to be doing fine kept apart

[HerbalEd]

Are you being played??? 5555 No, but IMO you sound like a very big cheap Charlie -- even bragging about how little you spend on her. 

[luk AJ]

I have always thought I had something other than money to offer a woman; something to make them want to be with me. I can't imagine the lack of self respect it must take to think the only reason a woman would be with you is if you pay her.   

I believe using bar girls as potential girlfriends is naive at best. They have already expressed their lack of self respect by making their virtue negotiable. True, many, if not most, bar girls are from poor families and have few choices for a good life. Selling their marvelous product seems to be an easy way to achieve some semblance of success. They may even hit the farang jackpot; the continuous ATM.

 

I suggest looking elsewhere; for middle-class, upper middle-class, or even hi-so women. Of course, to capture one of these, you should be something better than the typical sexpat; bar-hopping and girl-swapping your way through life. Women from more well-off families have more to offer. They likely have educations, contacts and capabilities other than lying on their backs. I have always set my sights on good-looking, intelligent and capable women; I think I deserve that. Those types of women also may offer the added nicety that you are not be expected to support their families. 

 

I am sure there will be those who scoff at the idea of getting a higher class of gf; I can only wince at their total lack of self-esteem. Are they really such losers that they can only get a communal receptacle to stay with them for money?

 

Really, I am very happy for you that you could achieve gloria in your life but I am disappointed that, from your bird view, the rest of the world seems shadowed under your wings.

17 years together with my Isaan girl and I am not a bar stool retired fat farang. I have my own business and indeed I support her financially and so indirectly her family and probably part of the economy of her lo-so village. So why does our relation last? With her I can calm down, relax, be myself and enjoy. We don’t discuss world politics nor history or science and I don’t need to, as I still have other friends for this. With her, it is the most simple and pure form of hapiness and love. She enjoys her status of having money and being able to help others. I don’t need a hi-so girl for status, people who want to ignore me for being with an Isaan girl I don’t mind, I don’t have to proof myself anymore to nobody. Love has more than one formula, yours is just one of the many and so,.. not better, not more special and not of higher value than any of our relations. Chew on that for a while..

 

[Fairynuff]

2 hours ago, simoh1490 said:

Immature to try and link payment and sex in a relationship in Thailand, I would expect that sort of view from readers of The Sun and Daily Star.

I agree, but that link is apparent on both sides. There are theThai’s that assume all foreigners pay, and those foreigners who believe allThais expect to be paid. I can’t imagine how quickly I’d lose some of my Thai friends if they thought I felt that way

[473geo]

4 minutes ago, Fairynuff said:

I agree, but that link is apparent on both sides. There are theThai’s that assume all foreigners pay, and those foreigners who believe allThais expect to be paid. I can’t imagine how quickly I’d lose some of my Thai friends if they thought I felt that way

You have your friends move in, shag them. buy an occasional meal, and they are ok with this?

[Fairynuff]

4 minutes ago, 473geo said:

You have your friends move in, shag them. buy an occasional meal, and they are ok with this?

I don’t shag my friends, nor do I live with them!

[impulse]

10 hours ago, greytonlarken said:

Feels like I just read the first decent reply in this thread! After reading all of the replies I seriously considered supporting her financially, I've seen her family - not just parents - and how they live, but I just don't feel like it's my responsibility at this stage.

 

Hang around long enough and you'll eventually hear what you wanted to hear, confirm what you already think, and feel vindicated to do what you already wanted to do.  Years ago, you had to go to an expat bar to do it.  Nowadays, you can do it from a keyboard.

 

Or, you can take all the data points being presented (eloquently, or poorly), realize that nobody has a definitive answer because we're all different people, and learn from other guys' experiences.  It's a lot cheaper and less painful than reinventing the wheel.

 

That's the beauty of the printed word.  You may not get a definitive answer, much less the one you wanted.  But you will get a lot of good info and may become more aware of red flags to look out for.

 

Or not.  Up to you.

[neeray]

4 minutes ago, impulse said:

 

Hang around long enough and you'll eventually hear what you wanted to hear, confirm what you already think, and feel vindicated to do what you already wanted to do.  Years ago, you had to go to an expat bar to do it.  Nowadays, you can do it from a keyboard.

 

Or, you can take all the data points being presented (eloquently, or poorly), realize that nobody has a definitive answer because we're all different people, and learn from other guys' experiences.  It's a lot cheaper and less painful than reinventing the wheel.

 

That's the beauty of the printed word.  You may not get a definitive answer, much less the one you wanted.  But you will get a lot of good info and may become more aware of red flags to look out for.

 

Or not.  Up to you.

Please just let the girl down gently and let her move on. You can always seek comfort from the bottle.

[Palyacho]

I would say an average Issan girl has more class then a university grad or girl fm a family with money in the west . And a more direct approach to money then - let him marry me and .....-  sometimes the line between self respect and fear of being taking advantage of seem blurry.  When picking up a girl for one night or life better look at their eyes then their "class" or their ass.

[Road Warrior]

TAKE CARE /CAUTION she is Thai THAT SAYS IT ALL !!!!!!?

[impulse]

7 minutes ago, neeray said:

Please just let the girl down gently and let her move on. You can always seek comfort from the bottle.

 

You're dismissing the possibility that she's in need of a place to stay and 3 squares a day while she gets her ducks in a row to line up her next move.  Could just be Maslow at work on food, shelter and clothing.  Hard to say from the cheap seats here.

 

I don't have a clue about the financial dynamics here.  But they're 2 adults, and she has the home field advantage.  She knows the culture.

[Kadilo]

2 minutes ago, michael walker said:

TAKE CARE /CAUTION she is Thai THAT SAYS IT ALL !!!!!!?

Your post says it all

[impulse]

4 minutes ago, Kadilo said:

7 minutes ago, michael walker said:

TAKE CARE /CAUTION she is Thai THAT SAYS IT ALL !!!!!!

Your post says it all

 

Gotta be honest.  I am completely underwhelmed by the usefulness of the information in either of these two posts.

 

[Kadilo]

1 minute ago, impulse said:

 

Gotta be honest.  I am completely underwhelmed by the usefulness of the information in either of these two posts.

 

Thanks for your completely underwhelming post

[smotherb]

1 hour ago, 473geo said:

No need to be sorry just an observation for those thinking of following your advice on selecting a career girl in Thailand

 

I do think you make a valid point for the younger generation of suitors if they can get past the youthful lust for continued and varied sexual encounters

 

However successful your relationship with your lady economist from Vietnam, I doubt it is quite so titillating for the older generation with enough cash to do what the hell they like!

Well, I was much younger in those days and I was a software engineer working for USAID. So,  I was not poor, and there were plenty of lovely young things about. However, she was very nice looking, only 26 when we met, and always had more money and more education than I. I have to admit, I respected her more than I loved her. There were many older, wealthier, and more influential Americans she could have had. I was so proud she wanted me.

[smotherb]

1 hour ago, luk AJ said:

Really, I am very happy for you that you could achieve gloria in your life but I am disappointed that, from your bird view, the rest of the world seems shadowed under your wings.

17 years together with my Isaan girl and I am not a bar stool retired fat farang. I have my own business and indeed I support her financially and so indirectly her family and probably part of the economy of her lo-so village. So why does our relation last? With her I can calm down, relax, be myself and enjoy. We don’t discuss world politics nor history or science and I don’t need to, as I still have other friends for this. With her, it is the most simple and pure form of hapiness and love. She enjoys her status of having money and being able to help others. I don’t need a hi-so girl for status, people who want to ignore me for being with an Isaan girl I don’t mind, I don’t have to proof myself anymore to nobody. Love has more than one formula, yours is just one of the many and so,.. not better, not more special and not of higher value than any of our relations. Chew on that for a while..

 

I am happy for you and glad to hear you success story. I do not consider the rest of the world shadowed under my wings. I simply believe I have something to offer women other than money; and it seems to work for me. As I mentioned, I was with my Vietnamese wife more for respect than for love.  We had an amicable separation a few years later and I met my current wife of almost 40 years. She too is good looking, intelligent and capable. The way I like my women.

[Tchooptip]

"she probably knows im well off because i like to get drunk w/ bottles of vodka at clubs"

What a pity I did not know that in my younger age when looking for well-off business partners, I would have visited every clubs in my area looking for people getting drunk on vodka bottles.

Now being retired no use of this information anymore, one too often learns good tips too late! 

[Veeke]

On 6/8/2018 at 10:45 PM, samsensam said:

 

who are '

 

who are ' these girls'?; do you mean lower class, lower educated girls working in, or on the edge of, the sex industry? or are you generalising that all thai girls need money?

 

i dont understand the bubble that some foreigners live in here, they don't seem to know anything about thailand, thais or thai culture.

 

every thai girl/woman i have dated has had an education, a career, an apartment, usually a car or even two, plenty of money and they certainly didnt date me for financial gain. this is not boastfulness, this is, for me, normality and it makes me a normal person - it doesn't make me 'ignorant or having a self-satiating attitude'.

 

 

A middle path maybe more true?

[atyclb]

3 hours ago, 473geo said:

I can understand that, if one does not possess a generous nature, must be like having teeth pulled.......

 

with intelligent gals my generosity is limitless

 

[atyclb]

39 minutes ago, Tchooptip said:

"she probably knows im well off because i like to get drunk w/ bottles of vodka at clubs"

What a pity I did not know that in my younger age when looking for well-off business partners, I would have visited every clubs in my area looking for people getting drunk on vodka bottles.

Now being retired no use of this information anymore, one too often learns good tips too late! 

 

 

girls you meet on tinder in pattaya are likely well impressed by guys that order bottle service at clubs. look at demographic and venue. no bearing whatsoever on judging how well off a business partner may be

[473geo]

4 minutes ago, atyclb said:

 

with intelligent gals my generosity is limitless

 

So you after all your bluster you are prepared to pay ?

[BobBKK]

Everybody has to pay, one way or the other, I loathe guys who trick, deceive or cheat these girls who have NOTHING.

 

Do the right thing. Pay her, stop being an a***hole and have a bit of compassion. 

[Tchooptip]

19 hours ago, Rori ban khun fang said:

Oh one rule in Thailand for expats or living there.

NEVER lent money. 

Tell them in public with relatives or friends around that you will GIVE her the money she needs and not need it back from her. tell her she can see it as a gift.

 

She will never ask again to borough money from you

 

19 hours ago, Rori ban khun fang said:

Oh one rule in Thailand for expats or living there.

NEVER lent money. 

Tell them in public with relatives or friends around that you will GIVE her the money she needs and not need it back from her. tell her she can see it as a gift.

 

She will never ask again to borough money from you

 

19 hours ago, Rori ban khun fang said:

Oh one rule in Thailand for expats or living there.

NEVER lent money. 

Tell them in public with relatives or friends around that you will GIVE her the money she needs and not need it back from her. tell her she can see it as a gift.

 

She will never ask again to borough money from you

1

"Oh one rule in Thailand for expats or living there.

NEVER lent money." 

 

I have lent money a few times, not to say many times to my DIL,  most of the time 20 000 ฿ she is 27 years old, has her own online business and seems to do very well, 

but sometimes she would like to buy a little more and ask me a few ฿ for a very short time.

 She gave me my money back all the time, each time with a little present of something she sells online to thank me...

... from a new case for my phone, a portable mini, fan a tumbler that keeps water fresh all night,  or USB mini speakers 

[brewsterbudgen]

3 hours ago, smotherb said:

I have always thought I had something other than money to offer a woman; something to make them want to be with me. I can't imagine the lack of self respect it must take to think the only reason a woman would be with you is if you pay her. 

 

I believe using bar girls as potential girlfriends is naive at best. They have already expressed their lack of self respect by making their virtue negotiable. True, many, if not most, bar girls are from poor families and have few choices for a good life. Selling their marvelous product seems to be an easy way to achieve some semblance of success. They may even hit the farang jackpot; the continuous ATM.

 

I suggest looking elsewhere; for middle-class, upper middle-class, or even hi-so women. Of course, to capture one of these, you should be something better than the typical sexpat; bar-hopping and girl-swapping your way through life. Women from more well-off families have more to offer. They likely have educations, contacts and capabilities other than lying on their backs. I have always set my sights on good-looking, intelligent and capable women; I think I deserve that. Those types of women also may offer the added nicety that you are not be expected to support their families. 

 

I am sure there will be those who scoff at the idea of getting a higher class of gf; I can only wince at their total lack of self-esteem. Are they really such losers that they can only get a communal receptacle to stay with them for money?

Good advice - if you too are upper class or hi-so.  Meeting them is not so easy, unless you mix in those circles.   I can't stand snobbery and hi-so Thais tend to have this in abundance; I work with lots of them, but rarely socialise with them.  I've always preferred bar crawling and down-to-earth girls and married one of them.

[Media1]

5 minutes ago, brewsterbudgen said:

Good advice - if you too are upper class or hi-so.  Meeting them is not so easy, unless you mix in those circles.   I can't stand snobbery and hi-so Thais tend to have this in abundance; I work with lots of them, but rarely socialise with them.  I've always preferred bar crawling and down-to-earth girls and married one of them.

Well at least you got a sure thing lol

[MyFriend You]

On 6/9/2018 at 1:46 PM, jenny2017 said:

She never asks me for money and shes from a poor family, the usual story eh, we visited her parents far up north - she "never introduced anyone else to them" but me because she loves me so much. doesnt like thai guys and only been with 2 farangs so far.

 

one shitfaced drunk night she asked me why i never pay her and shes so poor and blabla -  i kicked her out the next morning. few hours later she begs me shes sorry and wants to stay with me. ok for me, i like her.

 

  It's time for the OP to grow some balls. 

"It's time for the OP to grow some balls."    and start spending his vacations in Angeles City, PI  -  they really know how to extract money from Sexpats and make them happy while doing it.  as another poster says,  'there's so many things wrong with this guy, it would take a week to name them all"

[greytonlarken]

4 hours ago, impulse said:

 

Hang around long enough and you'll eventually hear what you wanted to hear, confirm what you already think, and feel vindicated to do what you already wanted to do.  Years ago, you had to go to an expat bar to do it.  Nowadays, you can do it from a keyboard.

 

Or, you can take all the data points being presented (eloquently, or poorly), realize that nobody has a definitive answer because we're all different people, and learn from other guys' experiences.  It's a lot cheaper and less painful than reinventing the wheel.

 

That's the beauty of the printed word.  You may not get a definitive answer, much less the one you wanted.  But you will get a lot of good info and may become more aware of red flags to look out for.

 

Or not.  Up to you.

 

I do read all of them and consider everyone's opinion and I agree that nobody knows the definitive answer. It's up to my feelings after all. But looking at the replies in this thread I feel like there's so many trolls in this forum not worth discussing with or I just see them as trolls as their opinion is completely absurd to my point of view. I'm probably stubborn or/and a cheap charlie but that's okay. I appreciate hearing about all of your experiences!

 

I will give her money next time I see her and dump her once I leave. Better safe than sorry. 

[starky]

She knows I'm well off because I go to clubs and drink bottles of vodka ???you couldn't make this shit up...

[impulse]

11 minutes ago, greytonlarken said:

 

I do read all of them and consider everyone's opinion and I agree that nobody knows the definitive answer. It's up to my feelings after all. But looking at the replies in this thread I feel like there's so many trolls in this forum not worth discussing with or I just see them as trolls as their opinion is completely absurd to my point of view.

 

A lot of them are trolls.  But getting screwed has that effect on some people.  And having it happen repeatedly (often before they get the input you've received here) definitely hardens some folks.  I've seen guys get off the plane and do amazing damage in just 2 weeks- the proverbial kids in a candy store.

 

At the risk of going off on a tangent, one of my college roommates was Nigerian, and he was an amazing, hard working and brilliant guy.  But I still don't trust emails from Nigerians.  My personal experience of Nigerians has been very favorable.  But I have input from others to supplement my personal experiences.  Some of them, racist and horrible.   But enough are sane and well reasoned. 

 

A lot like the info we get here on TVF.