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I would say your not a very good bloke and very disrespectful. That's if you asked me lol.

You have money but are not willing to give her pocket money lol. I hope you never meet my sister. I would throw you out the window lol. Drinking 2000 baht bottle..Selfish 

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2 hours ago, Proboscis said:

Any woman or trans-woman you meet in Pattaya of whatever age, education or nationality (yes, you heard correctly!) is likely to be a player of some kind. Otherwise, why would she go there? And mark my words - I did not say hooker - I said player. In other words, they are there to play you, by which I mean some method in which you are separated from your cash whether that be small things like padding your bill to larger things like introducing you to people who will "go into business with you," sell you illegal substances or get you into trouble and then "help" you out of trouble because you are their "friend."

 

And yes, many players, especially in pattaya, are also involved in the sex game in some way or other, whether as hookers or as pimps or in some sort of long game that involves building relationships and then pumping the money that way. Chances are that your lady is of this kind who can portray herself as a "the good girl" or the "nice" girl but ask yourself, how does she live if she is not working at the moment ?Remember, ATM also stands for Automated Teller Machine! She may have several of those, one of whom is you.

 

I have known quite a few ladies like this. They can introduce you to their parents but when you have been around for a while you find that their parents are not their REAL parents but two older people they like to call Mummy and Daddy and whom they drop a few baht to from time to time. Or they may be the real parents and they are not going to say anything to anyone about a previous or other boyfriend.

 

If you don't want to meet players, move away from Pattaya. You can have the same lifestyle in other parts of Thailand. Yes, you can meet players in all parts of Thailand but in Pattaya they cluster like moths to the flame.

 

There is another way of looking at all of this - I know an older gent who is loaded with money and just does not care. He has a different girl in each town and when he is in town his girl from there will stay with him. He pays up a certain amount to deal with the herds of sick buffalos and crowds of undereducated younger brothers. He knows a lot more Thai than he lets on and can understand the gist of conversations and usually knows exactly what's what.

 

But he does not care - he never gets married (I think he claims to have a wife already who is disabled but still alive) and he has long ago had the snip and lets the girls know that so that no one tries to land a fatherless child on him. He just enjoys his time and does not let it get to him and takes each day one at a time. But he makes no plans, buys no houses, invests in no businesses etc, claiming to the girls that he lives on a relatively small fixed pension (which is a big fat lie!). He almost never has to kick the girl out for any reason - they usually buzz off once what they think is a better proposition comes along, which suits him just fine. Very soon, along comes a new one and life goes on.

 

 a link to the training manual please

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2 hours ago, 473geo said:

 

High standards, wow, and willing to share with a fat old guy, I suppose if that is the best you can hope for or can afford  go with it ?

 

how do you know he's sharing with the fat old guy, maybe she reserves an orifice just for the young fit guy that the fat gut guy cant have ?

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Here 1 month 2 weeks and in Love. Suppose it happens but a happy long lasting relationship are not so easily hatched.  

 

Where in North? Isaan?

 

if you’ve lots of money or average income it wouldn’t hurt to give her some money. She I sent staying with you and probably helps cleaning etc. 

 

I’m not saying pay her as in a maid. Pay her for no reason at all but that

she s good company and you like her. 

 

3,000 baht a month equivalent to $80 USD. If you’re being taken for a ride it’s very inexpensive one. 

 

If you like her see how it goes always keeping eyes and ears open. Maybe you be fortunate..... If you serious you’d beat slow down on the 

nightly drinking. 

 

Good Luck 

 

 

 

 

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2 hours ago, Proboscis said:

Any woman or trans-woman you meet in Pattaya of whatever age, education or nationality (yes, you heard correctly!) is likely to be a player of some kind. Otherwise, why would she go there? And mark my words - I did not say hooker - I said player. In other words, they are there to play you, by which I mean some method in which you are separated from your cash whether that be small things like padding your bill to larger things like introducing you to people who will "go into business with you," sell you illegal substances or get you into trouble and then "help" you out of trouble because you are their "friend."

 

And yes, many players, especially in pattaya, are also involved in the sex game in some way or other, whether as hookers or as pimps or in some sort of long game that involves building relationships and then pumping the money that way. Chances are that your lady is of this kind who can portray herself as a "the good girl" or the "nice" girl but ask yourself, how does she live if she is not working at the moment ?Remember, ATM also stands for Automated Teller Machine! She may have several of those, one of whom is you.

 

I have known quite a few ladies like this. They can introduce you to their parents but when you have been around for a while you find that their parents are not their REAL parents but two older people they like to call Mummy and Daddy and whom they drop a few baht to from time to time. Or they may be the real parents and they are not going to say anything to anyone about a previous or other boyfriend.

 

If you don't want to meet players, move away from Pattaya. You can have the same lifestyle in other parts of Thailand. Yes, you can meet players in all parts of Thailand but in Pattaya they cluster like moths to the flame.

 

There is another way of looking at all of this - I know an older gent who is loaded with money and just does not care. He has a different girl in each town and when he is in town his girl from there will stay with him. He pays up a certain amount to deal with the herds of sick buffalos and crowds of undereducated younger brothers. He knows a lot more Thai than he lets on and can understand the gist of conversations and usually knows exactly what's what.

 

But he does not care - he never gets married (I think he claims to have a wife already who is disabled but still alive) and he has long ago had the snip and lets the girls know that so that no one tries to land a fatherless child on him. He just enjoys his time and does not let it get to him and takes each day one at a time. But he makes no plans, buys no houses, invests in no businesses etc, claiming to the girls that he lives on a relatively small fixed pension (which is a big fat lie!). He almost never has to kick the girl out for any reason - they usually buzz off once what they think is a better proposition comes along, which suits him just fine. Very soon, along comes a new one and life goes on.

Your jaundice view of Pattaya women is understandable but seriously overstated, there are good and decent Thai women everywhere, even in Pattaya.

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15 minutes ago, Rori ban khun fang said:
3 hours ago, atyclb said:

generally completely normal in developed countries to date and not give your dates a "fee for service" lol

 

also in developing countries the norm for most of society is the same except say for a high % of the expat population that are serviced by money girls and yes lots of non bar girls are looking for money also. even uni grads working in banks, hospitals, etc. a hospital admin gal went on one date with me then asked to borrow 5000 baht and i declined. she stopped contacting me but i was not heartbroken, more like comic relief.  seems borrowing money that they never pay back is not attaining money via sex.

 

i have gone out with both types, money seeking limited engagements and middle class and above no money.  its normal for a new younger fit guy to be put of by girls seeking money.  many expats see money for companionship as a requirement. frankly i see it as comic relief.

 

many working girls avoid young fit westerners because they know targeting fat old guys is more lucrative. to each their own.

 

i am pretending the op is not trolling

Oh one rule in Thailand for expats or living there.

NEVER lent money. 

Tell them in public with relatives or friends around that you will GIVE her the money she needs and not need it back from her. tell her she can see it as a gift.

 

She will never ask again to borough money from you

 

right lol, she will never ask to borrow, just ask for some dole. 

 

i have loaned money to a management level gainfully employed gal that gave me a nice motorbike(worth much more than loan amt) as collateral 

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I have loaned money to my MIL, something I wrote off as a gift at the time. Ten tears later she had a windfall which just covered the money I had loaned her and out of the blue she gave it back to me, over 100k in total. The interesting part of the story is that she doesn't really like me and I can't really stand her but my estimation of her went up many notches after that event.

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4 hours ago, jenny2017 said:

She never asks me for money and shes from a poor family, the usual story eh, we visited her parents far up north - she "never introduced anyone else to them" but me because she loves me so much. doesnt like thai guys and only been with 2 farangs so far.

 

one shitfaced drunk night she asked me why i never pay her and shes so poor and blabla -  i kicked her out the next morning. few hours later she begs me shes sorry and wants to stay with me. ok for me, i like her.

 

  It's time for the OP to grow some balls. 

 

Agree, op just grow up.

Mid 20's, part of the me me and me generation.

Have you ever thought about balance, she's entitled to be respected and to some extent supported.

As an earlier poster said, the local culture, typical Thai family relationships and responsibilities dictate strongly that she must provide financial support to her family. You can't and shouldn't try to push that aside, totally not appropriate to do that.

You drink bottles of vodka and get shit faced at clubs, in this scenario do you expect her to just tag along and say 'yes sir' in the right moments and look happy? And you say you like her. Is there any enjoyment for her in this situation?

Rightly or wrongly, and she will very probably never say anything, she's probably thinking about the cost of bottles of vodka, and also thinking about money being wasted.

Are you just wasting her time? I hope not. Would you like someone to lead you along, play games with you? 

If you want a good balanced happy and productive relationship with anybody you need to grow up. 

 

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3 hours ago, Proboscis said:

Any woman or trans-woman you meet in Pattaya of whatever age, education or nationality (yes, you heard correctly!) is likely to be a player of some kind. Otherwise, why would she go there? And mark my words - I did not say hooker - I said player. In other words, they are there to play you, by which I mean some method in which you are separated from your cash whether that be small things like padding your bill to larger things like introducing you to people who will "go into business with you," sell you illegal substances or get you into trouble and then "help" you out of trouble because you are their "friend."

 

And yes, many players, especially in pattaya, are also involved in the sex game in some way or other, whether as hookers or as pimps or in some sort of long game that involves building relationships and then pumping the money that way. Chances are that your lady is of this kind who can portray herself as a "the good girl" or the "nice" girl but ask yourself, how does she live if she is not working at the moment ?Remember, ATM also stands for Automated Teller Machine! She may have several of those, one of whom is you.

 

I have known quite a few ladies like this. They can introduce you to their parents but when you have been around for a while you find that their parents are not their REAL parents but two older people they like to call Mummy and Daddy and whom they drop a few baht to from time to time. Or they may be the real parents and they are not going to say anything to anyone about a previous or other boyfriend.

 

If you don't want to meet players, move away from Pattaya. You can have the same lifestyle in other parts of Thailand. Yes, you can meet players in all parts of Thailand but in Pattaya they cluster like moths to the flame.

 

There is another way of looking at all of this - I know an older gent who is loaded with money and just does not care. He has a different girl in each town and when he is in town his girl from there will stay with him. He pays up a certain amount to deal with the herds of sick buffalos and crowds of undereducated younger brothers. He knows a lot more Thai than he lets on and can understand the gist of conversations and usually knows exactly what's what.

 

But he does not care - he never gets married (I think he claims to have a wife already who is disabled but still alive) and he has long ago had the snip and lets the girls know that so that no one tries to land a fatherless child on him. He just enjoys his time and does not let it get to him and takes each day one at a time. But he makes no plans, buys no houses, invests in no businesses etc, claiming to the girls that he lives on a relatively small fixed pension (which is a big fat lie!). He almost never has to kick the girl out for any reason - they usually buzz off once what they think is a better proposition comes along, which suits him just fine. Very soon, along comes a new one and life goes on.

This is my exact "Modus operandi" too, ~I live for the moment I have no one to inherit my pension pot and I spend my days just playing the field,  spreading my buckets of blessings to whoever relieves my ball sacks

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1 minute ago, 0815 said:

Another fool in paradise who starts to play a game before he knows the basic rules.
You didn't treat her really fair,  Mr. vodka loving Super Online Hero...
(Like me or not)

Yeah have true a upstart. Somchai will teach him.a few ground rules 

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Holy cow, thanks for all those replies.

 

Let me clarify some things: True, I know nothing about thai culture. Pattaya happened to be one of many cities I visited during an Asia trip. I met a few other thai girls before her and some of them insisted they pay for their own meal when we ate together. I did not go to Pattaya to "buy" a wife or explicitly find a girlfriend. But if something would match up, why not.

 

I'm rather confused by the fact so many of you think it's normal to pay your woman on a regular basis.. for.. I don't know for what exactly. Can I compare it to prostitution? You're paying her to stay with you? Maybe this is a thai thing? Like I said, I know nothing about thai culture, especially thai relationships. Where I come from, both people have their own job, their own income - at least in my age group, too. I suppose many of you are much older than me and just have a different point of view.

 

You think I don't treat her well because I don't pay her? She has a free place to stay, free food, free drinking, gets to do all kinds of activities, free partying and even clothes once a while. I'm not responsible for her family though. I told her numerous times I'm not paying her as if it was her job to give me a good time. I told her I don't mind if she leaves at any time, but she insists she wants to stay because she loves me. I like her too, a lot, but I don't want to say love quite yet because I don't trust the situation.

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20 hours ago, samsensam said:

 

who are '

 

who are ' these girls'?; do you mean lower class, lower educated girls working in, or on the edge of, the sex industry? or are you generalising that all thai girls need money?

 

i dont understand the bubble that some foreigners live in here, they don't seem to know anything about thailand, thais or thai culture.

 

every thai girl/woman i have dated has had an education, a career, an apartment, usually a car or even two, plenty of money and they certainly didnt date me for financial gain. this is not boastfulness, this is, for me, normality and it makes me a normal person - it doesn't make me 'ignorant or having a self-satiating attitude'.

 

 

Good for you.

That's the way it should be.

Unfortunately, the majority of foreigners here are paying their Thai girlfriends and/or wives a monthly salary.

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2 minutes ago, duanebigsby said:

Good for you.

That's the way it should be.

Unfortunately, the majority of foreigners here are paying their Thai girlfriends and/or wives a monthly salary.

 

I'm glad to hear there are other people that see it this way. I wouldn't pay my girlfriend/wife to stay with me. You must be desperate and unable to get a girlfriend/wife in another way, then sure..

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8 minutes ago, greytonlarken said:

 

I'm glad to hear there are other people that see it this way. I wouldn't pay my girlfriend/wife to stay with me. You must be desperate and unable to get a girlfriend/wife in another way, then sure..

She obviously asked you why you didn't pay her.

If you wouldn't pay for a wife or girlfriend, this one's gone.

How desperate are you to stay with her?

Say Goodbye.

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10 minutes ago, greytonlarken said:

 

What am I missing? Care to elaborate? Tell me all about it so I won't be upset in the end. ?

She wants a monthly salary to be your "girlfriend"

Why does it need to be spelled out?

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Who makes all these "rules" ?Do the local authorities make them? Or do the"locals" make them up to suit themselves and to help them in their never ending quest to rip off foreigners?

This girl is laughing at you behind your back.

It s easy. If you want money,you simply make up a "rule" and rake in the cash.

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3 minutes ago, greytonlarken said:

 

But she's not getting one, and she knows this. Yet she insists to see me and stay with me.

one shitfaced drunk night she asked me why i never pay her and shes so poor and blabla 

 

She has asked you for a monthly salary and will pester you till she gets it.

Up to you Mr Naive Boy.

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45 minutes ago, greytonlarken said:

Holy cow, thanks for all those replies.

 

Let me clarify some things: True, I know nothing about thai culture. Pattaya happened to be one of many cities I visited during an Asia trip. I met a few other thai girls before her and some of them insisted they pay for their own meal when we ate together. I did not go to Pattaya to "buy" a wife or explicitly find a girlfriend. But if something would match up, why not.

 

I'm rather confused by the fact so many of you think it's normal to pay your woman on a regular basis.. for.. I don't know for what exactly. Can I compare it to prostitution? You're paying her to stay with you? Maybe this is a thai thing? Like I said, I know nothing about thai culture, especially thai relationships. Where I come from, both people have their own job, their own income - at least in my age group, too. I suppose many of you are much older than me and just have a different point of view.

 

You think I don't treat her well because I don't pay her? She has a free place to stay, free food, free drinking, gets to do all kinds of activities, free partying and even clothes once a while. I'm not responsible for her family though. I told her numerous times I'm not paying her as if it was her job to give me a good time. I told her I don't mind if she leaves at any time, but she insists she wants to stay because she loves me. I like her too, a lot, but I don't want to say love quite yet because I don't trust the situation.

the only reason i tell you to pay is because you said she didnt have a work,

and in all cases she is expected to fork up 3k a month at a bare minimum,

and since she is spending the time with you, that mean she cant earn the money elsewhere.

i had a really rich gf, downside was she was working all the time,

i sure couldnt afford to compensate her loss of income if she dropped all her businesses

just to stay with me.

i can empathize with your view her family isnt your responsibility,

but they are her responsibility, and if she quit working, quit having an income

to feed the family just to stay with you, its because she expect you to

replace the income from the hotel/bar/whatever it was she was doing.

 

if you dont want to part with money, you have to get a girl that has a job,

and keeps her job, and only see you in her spare time.

 

on a first glance it looks like a better deal to have her pay for both herself, her parents, and the damned buffalo,

but the fact are they work 6 days a week for the most part so its not much of a relation

 

one last thing: there is no such thing as

collecting a fare here while waiting to get a job,

a person that does not work here gets nuffing at all

unless they have children giving them money.

i dont think you understand the situation here,

there isnt anyone that can just spend a month with you,

they need an income at all time, from you or from some other job

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19 minutes ago, greytonlarken said:

But she's not getting one, and she knows this. Yet she insists to see me and stay with me.

 

Asians play the long game.  I have no clue what her plan is (well, a couple of clues, but too many possibilities to speculate). 

 

But she has one.

 

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Hi,sorry but  i never read the replys to this subject because there always very negative ,but you must know in your heart what is right, women are women, whether here or back in our own countries. Though my experience, especially here in Thailand the one's who succeed in a relationship are the clever one's,not the one's who see on a bar stool every day and play with their phone thinking who they can piss off because their own life's are a mess and yeah probably a bit of jealousy,also because they are the ones who pissed it all up and are ugly as sin. 

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