This thai girl

[impulse]

2 hours ago, atyclb said:

 

with intelligent gals my generosity is limitless

 

 

Be careful.  Her Thursday guy is an engineer.

 

 

[Wang Lalker]

2 hours ago, Tchooptip said:

 

ask me a few ฿ for a very short time.

 

  a portable mini, fan a tumbler that keeps water fresh all night, 

how much does she charge for long time?

 

you live too near the khlong huh

[brewsterbudgen]

Well at least you got a sure thing lol

It doesn't work quite like that after you're married!

Sent from my SM-G930F using Thailand Forum - Thaivisa mobile app

[sead]

if you cant afford to give her 10,000bht every month then i pity you. 

[Kadilo]

58 minutes ago, sead said:

if you cant afford to give her 10,000bht every month then i pity you. 

I think it's clear he can afford it (if you believe he's not a troll) but chooses not to 

[simoh1490]

7 minutes ago, Kadilo said:

I think it's clear he can afford it (if you believe he's not a troll) but chooses not to 

Because doing so might be viewed as prostitution and he doesn't do prostitution, so he has the sex without giving the money and that makes him feel better and more morally correct. Hmmm!

[bermannor]

7 hours ago, smotherb said:

I am happy for you and glad to hear you success story. I do not consider the rest of the world shadowed under my wings. I simply believe I have something to offer women other than money; and it seems to work for me. As I mentioned, I was with my Vietnamese wife more for respect than for love.  We had an amicable separation a few years later and I met my current wife of almost 40 years. She too is good looking, intelligent and capable. The way I like my women.

You obviously profited from the separation ?

[bermannor]

4 hours ago, greytonlarken said:

 

I do read all of them and consider everyone's opinion and I agree that nobody knows the definitive answer. It's up to my feelings after all. But looking at the replies in this thread I feel like there's so many trolls in this forum not worth discussing with or I just see them as trolls as their opinion is completely absurd to my point of view. I'm probably stubborn or/and a cheap charlie but that's okay. I appreciate hearing about all of your experiences!

 

I will give her money next time I see her and dump her once I leave. Better safe than sorry. 

That doesn't make you a better human! Born stupid, nothing learnt in life, still stupid.

[Kerryd]

I love the hypocrisy of people who claim they never "pay for it" or they have wives that they never give money to. 
They'd have you believe that they are so handsome and good in bed that women throw themselves at them and never ask for anything in return. 

 

Then you ask them a couple of questions and it's like "no, I don't give her money, we have a joint account and she takes whatever she wants/needs" or you ask them how she pays for hair salons and such and they say something like "oh I give her an allowance".

Uh huh.

Because "giving her an allowance" is different than "paying her".

Years ago when I was posted to Germany I was having a discussion with a couple of married guys after a trip to Hamburg. One of them had his nose so high in the air over the idea of "paying for it" that a light rain would have drowned him. I asked him if he was married (he said yes) and I told him, buddy, you are "paying for it" everyday of your life, the only difference is, when I pay for it, I get "it". Then I asked him the last time he got "it" and he started looking really sad. I knew a couple other guys whose wives basically took their whole paycheques and gave the husband an allowance (oh but they aren't "paying for it" so it's different).

Yeah, just like this forum where not one single person met his wife in a bar and everyone is quick to say "My Girl Is Different" (MGID for short).

As for the OP. Please. Get serious. 
The instant she said "why you not pay me" it should have been obvious. Just because you met her on Tinder means she isn't a hooker ? So what if she used to work in a hotel. It's far more likely that she is "freelancing" (and maybe that is why she isn't working at a hotel anymore - some places probably take a dim view of their staff getting too cozy with the customers). If you meet a girl that used to work in a hotel, then there's probably a pretty good reason why she isn't still working there.

And just because she was working at a hotel doesn't mean she isn't "playing the game". I found that out on my very first trip to Pattaya (back in 1993). Was drinking in a disco with an old Brit and his "date" when another girl showed up and started yelling at him. Turns out, she worked at the hotel he was staying in and had been sleeping with him - until one night when she got off work and went up to his room and let herself in, only to find he'd brought someone else home with him. Then, a couple nights later (when I was with him) she went looking for him and found him in the disco with a different girl !

It's almost a running joke now. When a girl tells you "she only start working bar today" what she really means is - she only started working at "that" bar that day (and is probably eager to show the mamasan that she can bring in the business). 
I had a girl I picked up in a friend's go-go. She told me she never worked in a go-go before (I didn't believe her - she looked and acted too much like a pro). She wanted me to take her to Happy A-Go-Go. Surprise surprise - she knew all the staff and half the dancers. Turns out she'd worked in Pattaya for something like 13 years, got married, moved to Isaan, got divorced when hubby's money ran out and came back to Pattaya to look for another ATM. (I left her in Happy's and went somewhere else.)
Another one told me she'd only started working that week. As soon as she took the stage you could see she'd been "working a pole" for a lot more than a week. I knew the mamasan and asked her. Sure enough, the girl had only been working a week - at that go-go. Plus the 7 years she'd spent in Bangkok until she started looking a little too "old".

Plenty of girls have arrived in Pattaya to take jobs in restaurants, hotels, hair salons etc and within weeks (or days) have been to the bars, discos and karaokes.

Often, within days, they've also hooked up with a local Thai guy (who they are probably way more happy with than you). In some cases, they start out staying with a "sister" or "cousin" and that person brings them to their bar/go-go and in short order has them working there (often to pay off a debt owed to that sister or cousin). Or their new boyfriend starts pressuring them to get out and make some money for him.
(Yes, I've personally seen these things.)
Or they simply see what kind of money "those" girls are raking in and want a piece of the action. 

Some girls don't play that game and are happy with working in 7-11s, restaurants and so on. Some girls work in beer bars. Some girls that maybe aren't so shy work in the go-gos. A lot of girls that don't want to work in either "freelance". And it seems that a lot of them have taken to the internet to look for customers. Dating sites (and apps) are full of women looking for "dates". Freelances don't have to worry about things like working hours, drink quotas and bar fines (but they hope you don't know that) and they don't have to worry about little things like weekly medical check-ups.

Ideally they would prefer a good looking guy with a fat............wallet, but a not so good looking guy with a fat.........wallet is also good, or even an old, fat guy (with a fat.........wallet) is doable. If they can find one that wants to keep them around longer, all the better. Most of them don't want to be shagging different, smelly, ugly old men every night. Shagging the same ugly old guy every night would be better (depending on how fat that wallet is). 
But they ALL need money. 
Many of them have babies they've left at home with mom to raise while they are out trying to earn a living. Others maybe caring for family members back home. 

I've met a couple of families, of girls I'd known for barely a couple weeks. I sincerely doubt I was the first "foreigner" they ever brought home with them.

I had it down at one point to where I could almost tell for certain how long a girl had been in Pattaya by how well she spoke English.

If she could barely say "Hansum man" and "love you too mut" then she was probably under a week.

If she could say "no like Thai man - only like farang" and "not like young man, like old man" then she'd probably been there for a couple weeks.

If she could say "I never work bar before, only start today" and "I not have boyfriend, not have husband, not have baby, only have you teerak but momma have accident and need money for doctor and if you not give me I have to go back to bar and sell pussy" then she's probably been there for at least a couple of months.

The problem a lot of guys have is, their first trip to Thailand is like nothing else they've ever experienced. The weather - the sights - the smells - the food - the girls - it can be overwhelming, especially if you are acting like the typical "2 week millionaire" (which it sounds like you were doing). 

It all goes to their head (literally) and their brain goes into the dumpster. 

When I first started working in Afghanistan back in 2003, we had a firefighter working for the company that was the kind of guy girls swooned over. Like something straight out of a Chippendale's calendar. He took a 10 day trip to Phuket, first time ever in Thailand.
Long story short - he fell in love with the 3rd girl he hooked up with. Quit his job, went to Thailand to marry his sweetheart and start a business. Found out it is easier said than done. Went broke, his wife dumped him and found a new man (literally within days). He ended up doing odd jobs, working "under the table" to try and make enough to get home.

Plenty of people have lost their heads after their first trip to Thailand. I even had to caution my dear old dad after his first trip here. Was here just over 2 weeks and was already making plans to move here. I had to tell him that living here was a lot different than "holidaying" here. I also had to caution him about the women. He was a short, pudgy old guy (75) and when I took him to a friend's go-go bar, he had all the women all over him.
He first "girlfriend" was about 35. He dumped her when he realized she had 2 or 3 other foreign boyfriends on the go at the same time. His next girlfriend was 33. She took him to the cleaners (financially) but at least she stayed with him until the end. (Well duh - she was ripping him off for 20,000 a day - she was some pissed when I put a stop to that and was able to convince dad to get me to give back his bankbook and ATM card - so she could keep ripping him off !)
But of course - she "loved him too much" ! So much so that even though she made close to 1,000,000 off of him she was pissed that she didn't get more (and it turns out she gave most of it to her boyfriend who blew it all of course and she was back working in a bar within a year).

But always remember the cardinal rule in Thailand - "My Girl Is Different". As long as you can remember that you will be fine.

Or not.

Oh, and also remember another rule - "Never be worth more dead than you are alive".

 

And another rule - don't brag on a Visa forum about how you are a tourist in Thailand but working "online". 

And always remember - "if you want to make a small fortune in Thailand, start with a large one" !

And if you are old and broke, never bend over the balcony of a high-rise apartment or condo. The older you are (and the broker you are) increases the chances that you may "fall" over the railing. 

And remember, if you buy ANYTHING in "her" name - it's hers. Period. Doesn't matter if it's a car, a condo or a beer bar. Doesn't matter if you've just put your entire fortune into it. It's hers and if she kicks you out 5 minutes later and sells everything - tough luck for you.

And seriously - think about it. When I'm with a girl (long time) it's not like at 5 pm every Friday I'm going "OK honey, here's 5,000 for all the sex and companionship you gave me over the last week".

But if she tells me she needs 500 baht to go to the hair salon I might give her 2,000. What she does with the rest is up to her. When she asked me for money to go to Bangkok with her cousin to attend a "Bon Cafe" franchise meeting, I gave her 5,000. She probably spent 2 and kept the rest. When she said she wanted to go eat noodles with her girlfriend I gave her a thousand. However, if we went somewhere (say to a restaurant) and I gave her a couple thousand to cover the bill, she'd make sure I got all the change back (and then look away when I gave the tip). She's done the same thing other times where I've given her money to pay for something and she's brought back the change (big and small). It's kind of like she knows "this" money is meant for her and "that" money is "ours". 
So I'm not "paying her for sex" but she is still making a whack more than if she was working in a 7-11 (or a hotel). 

Then again, if you really are working online and doing so well that you are drinking a bottle of vodka every night then it's likely that you'll be a statistic before too long.

 

Tell us - do you perchance have (Travel) Medical Insurance ? The kind that covers you in foreign countries ? The kind that covers you if you have an accident on a scooter/motorcycle ? 

[duanebigsby]

Kerryd

You start your rant with how hypocritical you find people who claim they don't pay for sex, and then your last paragraph describes you "paying" your partner and claiming you aren't paying for sex.

[mogandave]

Kerryd
You start your rant with how hypocritical you find people who claim they don't pay for sex, and then your last paragraph describes you "paying" your partner and claiming you aren't paying for sex.

The last paragraph is about insurance.

I think it’s clear he knows he’s paying for it....

[bermannor]

3 minutes ago, duanebigsby said:

Kerryd

You start your rant with how hypocritical you find people who claim they don't pay for sex, and then your last paragraph describes you "paying" your partner and claiming you aren't paying for sex.

As more somebody writes as less he has to say!

[duanebigsby]

1 minute ago, mogandave said:

 

The last paragraph is about insurance.

I think it’s clear he knows he’s paying for it....

 

Maybe I should have been more specific. The third last paragraph as the last two were off topic  throw away sentences. He distinctly said he isn't paying her for sex but she makes more than she could at 7.

[atyclb]

5 hours ago, impulse said:

 

Be careful.  Her Thursday guy is an engineer.

 

 

 

that should be ok, im more worried about physicists and mathematicians with PhD's  

[atyclb]

34 minutes ago, Kerryd said:

I love the hypocrisy of people who claim they never "pay for it" or they have wives that they never give money to. 
They'd have you believe that they are so handsome and good in bed that women throw themselves at them and never ask for anything in return. 

 

Then you ask them a couple of questions and it's like "no, I don't give her money, we have a joint account and she takes whatever she wants/needs" or you ask them how she pays for hair salons and such and they say something like "oh I give her an allowance".

Uh huh.

Because "giving her an allowance" is different than "paying her".

Years ago when I was posted to Germany I was having a discussion with a couple of married guys after a trip to Hamburg. One of them had his nose so high in the air over the idea of "paying for it" that a light rain would have drowned him. I asked him if he was married (he said yes) and I told him, buddy, you are "paying for it" everyday of your life, the only difference is, when I pay for it, I get "it". Then I asked him the last time he got "it" and he started looking really sad. I knew a couple other guys whose wives basically took their whole paycheques and gave the husband an allowance (oh but they aren't "paying for it" so it's different).

Yeah, just like this forum where not one single person met his wife in a bar and everyone is quick to say "My Girl Is Different" (MGID for short).

As for the OP. Please. Get serious. 
The instant she said "why you not pay me" it should have been obvious. Just because you met her on Tinder means she isn't a hooker ? So what if she used to work in a hotel. It's far more likely that she is "freelancing" (and maybe that is why she isn't working at a hotel anymore - some places probably take a dim view of their staff getting too cozy with the customers). If you meet a girl that used to work in a hotel, then there's probably a pretty good reason why she isn't still working there.

And just because she was working at a hotel doesn't mean she isn't "playing the game". I found that out on my very first trip to Pattaya (back in 1993). Was drinking in a disco with an old Brit and his "date" when another girl showed up and started yelling at him. Turns out, she worked at the hotel he was staying in and had been sleeping with him - until one night when she got off work and went up to his room and let herself in, only to find he'd brought someone else home with him. Then, a couple nights later (when I was with him) she went looking for him and found him in the disco with a different girl !

It's almost a running joke now. When a girl tells you "she only start working bar today" what she really means is - she only started working at "that" bar that day (and is probably eager to show the mamasan that she can bring in the business). 
I had a girl I picked up in a friend's go-go. She told me she never worked in a go-go before (I didn't believe her - she looked and acted too much like a pro). She wanted me to take her to Happy A-Go-Go. Surprise surprise - she knew all the staff and half the dancers. Turns out she'd worked in Pattaya for something like 13 years, got married, moved to Isaan, got divorced when hubby's money ran out and came back to Pattaya to look for another ATM. (I left her in Happy's and went somewhere else.)
Another one told me she'd only started working that week. As soon as she took the stage you could see she'd been "working a pole" for a lot more than a week. I knew the mamasan and asked her. Sure enough, the girl had only been working a week - at that go-go. Plus the 7 years she'd spent in Bangkok until she started looking a little too "old".

Plenty of girls have arrived in Pattaya to take jobs in restaurants, hotels, hair salons etc and within weeks (or days) have been to the bars, discos and karaokes.

Often, within days, they've also hooked up with a local Thai guy (who they are probably way more happy with than you). In some cases, they start out staying with a "sister" or "cousin" and that person brings them to their bar/go-go and in short order has them working there (often to pay off a debt owed to that sister or cousin). Or their new boyfriend starts pressuring them to get out and make some money for him.
(Yes, I've personally seen these things.)
Or they simply see what kind of money "those" girls are raking in and want a piece of the action. 

Some girls don't play that game and are happy with working in 7-11s, restaurants and so on. Some girls work in beer bars. Some girls that maybe aren't so shy work in the go-gos. A lot of girls that don't want to work in either "freelance". And it seems that a lot of them have taken to the internet to look for customers. Dating sites (and apps) are full of women looking for "dates". Freelances don't have to worry about things like working hours, drink quotas and bar fines (but they hope you don't know that) and they don't have to worry about little things like weekly medical check-ups.

Ideally they would prefer a good looking guy with a fat............wallet, but a not so good looking guy with a fat.........wallet is also good, or even an old, fat guy (with a fat.........wallet) is doable. If they can find one that wants to keep them around longer, all the better. Most of them don't want to be shagging different, smelly, ugly old men every night. Shagging the same ugly old guy every night would be better (depending on how fat that wallet is). 
But they ALL need money. 
Many of them have babies they've left at home with mom to raise while they are out trying to earn a living. Others maybe caring for family members back home. 

I've met a couple of families, of girls I'd known for barely a couple weeks. I sincerely doubt I was the first "foreigner" they ever brought home with them.

I had it down at one point to where I could almost tell for certain how long a girl had been in Pattaya by how well she spoke English.

If she could barely say "Hansum man" and "love you too mut" then she was probably under a week.

If she could say "no like Thai man - only like farang" and "not like young man, like old man" then she'd probably been there for a couple weeks.

If she could say "I never work bar before, only start today" and "I not have boyfriend, not have husband, not have baby, only have you teerak but momma have accident and need money for doctor and if you not give me I have to go back to bar and sell pussy" then she's probably been there for at least a couple of months.

The problem a lot of guys have is, their first trip to Thailand is like nothing else they've ever experienced. The weather - the sights - the smells - the food - the girls - it can be overwhelming, especially if you are acting like the typical "2 week millionaire" (which it sounds like you were doing). 

It all goes to their head (literally) and their brain goes into the dumpster. 

When I first started working in Afghanistan back in 2003, we had a firefighter working for the company that was the kind of guy girls swooned over. Like something straight out of a Chippendale's calendar. He took a 10 day trip to Phuket, first time ever in Thailand.
Long story short - he fell in love with the 3rd girl he hooked up with. Quit his job, went to Thailand to marry his sweetheart and start a business. Found out it is easier said than done. Went broke, his wife dumped him and found a new man (literally within days). He ended up doing odd jobs, working "under the table" to try and make enough to get home.

Plenty of people have lost their heads after their first trip to Thailand. I even had to caution my dear old dad after his first trip here. Was here just over 2 weeks and was already making plans to move here. I had to tell him that living here was a lot different than "holidaying" here. I also had to caution him about the women. He was a short, pudgy old guy (75) and when I took him to a friend's go-go bar, he had all the women all over him.
He first "girlfriend" was about 35. He dumped her when he realized she had 2 or 3 other foreign boyfriends on the go at the same time. His next girlfriend was 33. She took him to the cleaners (financially) but at least she stayed with him until the end. (Well duh - she was ripping him off for 20,000 a day - she was some pissed when I put a stop to that and was able to convince dad to get me to give back his bankbook and ATM card - so she could keep ripping him off !)
But of course - she "loved him too much" ! So much so that even though she made close to 1,000,000 off of him she was pissed that she didn't get more (and it turns out she gave most of it to her boyfriend who blew it all of course and she was back working in a bar within a year).

But always remember the cardinal rule in Thailand - "My Girl Is Different". As long as you can remember that you will be fine.

Or not.

Oh, and also remember another rule - "Never be worth more dead than you are alive".

 

And another rule - don't brag on a Visa forum about how you are a tourist in Thailand but working "online". 

And always remember - "if you want to make a small fortune in Thailand, start with a large one" !

And if you are old and broke, never bend over the balcony of a high-rise apartment or condo. The older you are (and the broker you are) increases the chances that you may "fall" over the railing. 

And remember, if you buy ANYTHING in "her" name - it's hers. Period. Doesn't matter if it's a car, a condo or a beer bar. Doesn't matter if you've just put your entire fortune into it. It's hers and if she kicks you out 5 minutes later and sells everything - tough luck for you.

And seriously - think about it. When I'm with a girl (long time) it's not like at 5 pm every Friday I'm going "OK honey, here's 5,000 for all the sex and companionship you gave me over the last week".

But if she tells me she needs 500 baht to go to the hair salon I might give her 2,000. What she does with the rest is up to her. When she asked me for money to go to Bangkok with her cousin to attend a "Bon Cafe" franchise meeting, I gave her 5,000. She probably spent 2 and kept the rest. When she said she wanted to go eat noodles with her girlfriend I gave her a thousand. However, if we went somewhere (say to a restaurant) and I gave her a couple thousand to cover the bill, she'd make sure I got all the change back (and then look away when I gave the tip). She's done the same thing other times where I've given her money to pay for something and she's brought back the change (big and small). It's kind of like she knows "this" money is meant for her and "that" money is "ours". 
So I'm not "paying her for sex" but she is still making a whack more than if she was working in a 7-11 (or a hotel). 

Then again, if you really are working online and doing so well that you are drinking a bottle of vodka every night then it's likely that you'll be a statistic before too long.

 

Tell us - do you perchance have (Travel) Medical Insurance ? The kind that covers you in foreign countries ? The kind that covers you if you have an accident on a scooter/motorcycle ? 

 

thanks for sharing your dissertation (first draft) with us

[bermannor]

Does it contain anything relevant or good for a noble prize win?

[pgrahmm]

7 minutes ago, bermannor said:

Does it contain anything relevant or good for a noble prize win?

Don't know - stopped at Leviticus.....

[coulson]

On 6/9/2018 at 1:15 AM, samsensam said:

 

who are '

 

who are ' these girls'?; do you mean lower class, lower educated girls working in, or on the edge of, the sex industry? or are you generalising that all thai girls need money?

 

i dont understand the bubble that some foreigners live in here, they don't seem to know anything about thailand, thais or thai culture.

 

every thai girl/woman i have dated has had an education, a career, an apartment, usually a car or even two, plenty of money and they certainly didnt date me for financial gain. this is not boastfulness, this is, for me, normality and it makes me a normal person - it doesn't make me 'ignorant or having a self-satiating attitude'.

 

 

I have dated 3 or 4 Thai women over the years who were all well educated, with their own place, job (not even close to the industry you refer), didn't appear to be on the take etc.......but all asked for money in the end.

 

Give the OP some due at least, all he is inferring is that a lot of Thai women who appear to be genuine on the outset, end up looking for their paycheck.

 

[Kerryd]

Lol - you see, I know I'm paying for it but I don't get all spastic about it and go "here's some money but remember it's NOT for sex - I'm just giving you 5,000 because the noodle soup you brought home last week was so awesome". 
I know that she isn't working and I know she isn't with me because I'm such a super stud and better looking than Pitt. I know she's got a family (mother and brother) to take care of so I make sure I am not stingy when it comes to giving her some extra cash.

I just don't pretend that I'm not paying for it, unlike some people.

[smotherb]

7 hours ago, brewsterbudgen said:

Good advice - if you too are upper class or hi-so.  Meeting them is not so easy, unless you mix in those circles.   I can't stand snobbery and hi-so Thais tend to have this in abundance; I work with lots of them, but rarely socialise with them.  I've always preferred bar crawling and down-to-earth girls and married one of them.

I did not say hi-so only, but I certainly wouldn't avoid it, especially if I saw a woman I liked. Reference my Vietnamese wife; she would be classed hi-so, but she was down to earth, enjoyed the more average things, like dinner and movies, and was willing to marry a commoner. However, you are right in that you need to mix in their circles to meet them; whether they are middle-class, upper middle-class, or hi-so.  Not sure how upper-middle or hi-so I am. My mother was a secretary and my step-father an Air Force sergeant. However, I am well educated, had professional jobs and made good money all my life.  I clean-up well and can speak intelligently on most subjects. So, I do not have issues rubbing elbows with upper-middle-class or even hi-so. Try thinking out of the box. Join the Rotary International; nothing more than a few bucks and your time is required; and you meet local business owners and government/corporate  managers. Join a golf club and play with the locals instead of the other expats. If you have degrees, join a university speakers' program. Do something other than the lower-classes do. I have met many wealthy Thais riding my Harley. Big bike ownership takes money, so that leaves out many lo-so locals; even though it may attract some lo-so expats.  I chose to live in a good Thai neighborhood; my neighbors are relatively wealthy and I have developed good relationships with a couple of them. However, I too still like to hang out and bar hop and I do plenty of that riding with my bros. It's your life, live it the way you want.

[smotherb]

2 hours ago, bermannor said:

You obviously profited from the separation ?

Well, we had no children, we divorced in Florida and had an uncontested divorce. She insisted on a 50-50 split of assets. Since I contributed maybe 30% of the assets; I reckon I did profit from it. We are still good friends.

[atyclb]

On 6/8/2018 at 5:04 AM, simoh1490 said:

She could go and work in a bar and potentially make decent money and that would help her satisfy the part about looking after her family - but that's a tough life and not everyone can or wants to go that route. It's tough being a female in Thailand,

 

 

a disco freelancer can hope to find a guy she's attracted to and shag him and get some money out of it. that way she is not forced to go with whomever pays the bar fine. she may be doing that already if on tinder app.  many of those gals do better than uni grads

[atyclb]

6 hours ago, starky said:

She knows I'm well off because I go to clubs and drink bottles of vodka ???you couldn't make this shit up...

 

cmon, in pattaya you probably will impress disco girls by ordering bottles.

 

my secret to impress them is making sure they see my 99 baht big c flip flops.

[theguyfromanotherforum]

1 hour ago, Kerryd said:

I love the hypocrisy of people who claim they never "pay for it" or they have wives that they never give money to. 
They'd have you believe that they are so handsome and good in bed that women throw themselves at them and never ask for anything in return. 

 

Then you ask them a couple of questions and it's like "no, I don't give her money, we have a joint account and she takes whatever she wants/needs" or you ask them how she pays for hair salons and such and they say something like "oh I give her an allowance".

Uh huh.

Because "giving her an allowance" is different than "paying her".

Years ago when I was posted to Germany I was having a discussion with a couple of married guys after a trip to Hamburg. One of them had his nose so high in the air over the idea of "paying for it" that a light rain would have drowned him. I asked him if he was married (he said yes) and I told him, buddy, you are "paying for it" everyday of your life, the only difference is, when I pay for it, I get "it". Then I asked him the last time he got "it" and he started looking really sad. I knew a couple other guys whose wives basically took their whole paycheques and gave the husband an allowance (oh but they aren't "paying for it" so it's different).

Yeah, just like this forum where not one single person met his wife in a bar and everyone is quick to say "My Girl Is Different" (MGID for short).

As for the OP. Please. Get serious. 
The instant she said "why you not pay me" it should have been obvious. Just because you met her on Tinder means she isn't a hooker ? So what if she used to work in a hotel. It's far more likely that she is "freelancing" (and maybe that is why she isn't working at a hotel anymore - some places probably take a dim view of their staff getting too cozy with the customers). If you meet a girl that used to work in a hotel, then there's probably a pretty good reason why she isn't still working there.

And just because she was working at a hotel doesn't mean she isn't "playing the game". I found that out on my very first trip to Pattaya (back in 1993). Was drinking in a disco with an old Brit and his "date" when another girl showed up and started yelling at him. Turns out, she worked at the hotel he was staying in and had been sleeping with him - until one night when she got off work and went up to his room and let herself in, only to find he'd brought someone else home with him. Then, a couple nights later (when I was with him) she went looking for him and found him in the disco with a different girl !

It's almost a running joke now. When a girl tells you "she only start working bar today" what she really means is - she only started working at "that" bar that day (and is probably eager to show the mamasan that she can bring in the business). 
I had a girl I picked up in a friend's go-go. She told me she never worked in a go-go before (I didn't believe her - she looked and acted too much like a pro). She wanted me to take her to Happy A-Go-Go. Surprise surprise - she knew all the staff and half the dancers. Turns out she'd worked in Pattaya for something like 13 years, got married, moved to Isaan, got divorced when hubby's money ran out and came back to Pattaya to look for another ATM. (I left her in Happy's and went somewhere else.)
Another one told me she'd only started working that week. As soon as she took the stage you could see she'd been "working a pole" for a lot more than a week. I knew the mamasan and asked her. Sure enough, the girl had only been working a week - at that go-go. Plus the 7 years she'd spent in Bangkok until she started looking a little too "old".

Plenty of girls have arrived in Pattaya to take jobs in restaurants, hotels, hair salons etc and within weeks (or days) have been to the bars, discos and karaokes.

Often, within days, they've also hooked up with a local Thai guy (who they are probably way more happy with than you). In some cases, they start out staying with a "sister" or "cousin" and that person brings them to their bar/go-go and in short order has them working there (often to pay off a debt owed to that sister or cousin). Or their new boyfriend starts pressuring them to get out and make some money for him.
(Yes, I've personally seen these things.)
Or they simply see what kind of money "those" girls are raking in and want a piece of the action. 

Some girls don't play that game and are happy with working in 7-11s, restaurants and so on. Some girls work in beer bars. Some girls that maybe aren't so shy work in the go-gos. A lot of girls that don't want to work in either "freelance". And it seems that a lot of them have taken to the internet to look for customers. Dating sites (and apps) are full of women looking for "dates". Freelances don't have to worry about things like working hours, drink quotas and bar fines (but they hope you don't know that) and they don't have to worry about little things like weekly medical check-ups.

Ideally they would prefer a good looking guy with a fat............wallet, but a not so good looking guy with a fat.........wallet is also good, or even an old, fat guy (with a fat.........wallet) is doable. If they can find one that wants to keep them around longer, all the better. Most of them don't want to be shagging different, smelly, ugly old men every night. Shagging the same ugly old guy every night would be better (depending on how fat that wallet is). 
But they ALL need money. 
Many of them have babies they've left at home with mom to raise while they are out trying to earn a living. Others maybe caring for family members back home. 

I've met a couple of families, of girls I'd known for barely a couple weeks. I sincerely doubt I was the first "foreigner" they ever brought home with them.

I had it down at one point to where I could almost tell for certain how long a girl had been in Pattaya by how well she spoke English.

If she could barely say "Hansum man" and "love you too mut" then she was probably under a week.

If she could say "no like Thai man - only like farang" and "not like young man, like old man" then she'd probably been there for a couple weeks.

If she could say "I never work bar before, only start today" and "I not have boyfriend, not have husband, not have baby, only have you teerak but momma have accident and need money for doctor and if you not give me I have to go back to bar and sell pussy" then she's probably been there for at least a couple of months.

The problem a lot of guys have is, their first trip to Thailand is like nothing else they've ever experienced. The weather - the sights - the smells - the food - the girls - it can be overwhelming, especially if you are acting like the typical "2 week millionaire" (which it sounds like you were doing). 

It all goes to their head (literally) and their brain goes into the dumpster. 

When I first started working in Afghanistan back in 2003, we had a firefighter working for the company that was the kind of guy girls swooned over. Like something straight out of a Chippendale's calendar. He took a 10 day trip to Phuket, first time ever in Thailand.
Long story short - he fell in love with the 3rd girl he hooked up with. Quit his job, went to Thailand to marry his sweetheart and start a business. Found out it is easier said than done. Went broke, his wife dumped him and found a new man (literally within days). He ended up doing odd jobs, working "under the table" to try and make enough to get home.

Plenty of people have lost their heads after their first trip to Thailand. I even had to caution my dear old dad after his first trip here. Was here just over 2 weeks and was already making plans to move here. I had to tell him that living here was a lot different than "holidaying" here. I also had to caution him about the women. He was a short, pudgy old guy (75) and when I took him to a friend's go-go bar, he had all the women all over him.
He first "girlfriend" was about 35. He dumped her when he realized she had 2 or 3 other foreign boyfriends on the go at the same time. His next girlfriend was 33. She took him to the cleaners (financially) but at least she stayed with him until the end. (Well duh - she was ripping him off for 20,000 a day - she was some pissed when I put a stop to that and was able to convince dad to get me to give back his bankbook and ATM card - so she could keep ripping him off !)
But of course - she "loved him too much" ! So much so that even though she made close to 1,000,000 off of him she was pissed that she didn't get more (and it turns out she gave most of it to her boyfriend who blew it all of course and she was back working in a bar within a year).

But always remember the cardinal rule in Thailand - "My Girl Is Different". As long as you can remember that you will be fine.

Or not.

Oh, and also remember another rule - "Never be worth more dead than you are alive".

 

And another rule - don't brag on a Visa forum about how you are a tourist in Thailand but working "online". 

And always remember - "if you want to make a small fortune in Thailand, start with a large one" !

And if you are old and broke, never bend over the balcony of a high-rise apartment or condo. The older you are (and the broker you are) increases the chances that you may "fall" over the railing. 

And remember, if you buy ANYTHING in "her" name - it's hers. Period. Doesn't matter if it's a car, a condo or a beer bar. Doesn't matter if you've just put your entire fortune into it. It's hers and if she kicks you out 5 minutes later and sells everything - tough luck for you.

And seriously - think about it. When I'm with a girl (long time) it's not like at 5 pm every Friday I'm going "OK honey, here's 5,000 for all the sex and companionship you gave me over the last week".

But if she tells me she needs 500 baht to go to the hair salon I might give her 2,000. What she does with the rest is up to her. When she asked me for money to go to Bangkok with her cousin to attend a "Bon Cafe" franchise meeting, I gave her 5,000. She probably spent 2 and kept the rest. When she said she wanted to go eat noodles with her girlfriend I gave her a thousand. However, if we went somewhere (say to a restaurant) and I gave her a couple thousand to cover the bill, she'd make sure I got all the change back (and then look away when I gave the tip). She's done the same thing other times where I've given her money to pay for something and she's brought back the change (big and small). It's kind of like she knows "this" money is meant for her and "that" money is "ours". 
So I'm not "paying her for sex" but she is still making a whack more than if she was working in a 7-11 (or a hotel). 

Then again, if you really are working online and doing so well that you are drinking a bottle of vodka every night then it's likely that you'll be a statistic before too long.

 

Tell us - do you perchance have (Travel) Medical Insurance ? The kind that covers you in foreign countries ? The kind that covers you if you have an accident on a scooter/motorcycle ? 

 

Nice little rant. I read the first sentence and guess what....I'm not paying for "it".

[Kadilo]

3 hours ago, atyclb said:

 

thanks for sharing your dissertation (first draft) with us

Take out all the cliches and there ain't a lot left. 

[Redback]

You're not being played and yes, you are missing something. Pattaya, particularly, is a very dangerous place to learn life's lessons. Before you point the finger, remember, there are three pointing back. Read these comments and learn from them, please don't take offence but take the advice. Oh, and give her 10,000 bht for her family. 

[mogandave]

You're not being played and yes, you are missing something. Pattaya, particularly, is a very dangerous place to learn life's lessons. Before you point the finger, remember, there are three pointing back. Read these comments and learn from them, please don't take offence but take the advice. Oh, and give her 10,000 bht for her family. 

Actually, I think it’s when you point the finger there are three pointing back.

Before you point the finger, all four are pointing back.

Don’t get me started on thumbs...

[brewsterbudgen]

I did not say hi-so only, but I certainly wouldn't avoid it, especially if I saw a woman I liked. Reference my Vietnamese wife; she would be classed hi-so, but she was down to earth, enjoyed the more average things, like dinner and movies, and was willing to marry a commoner. However, you are right in that you need to mix in their circles to meet them; whether they are middle-class, upper middle-class, or hi-so.  Not sure how upper-middle or hi-so I am. My mother was a secretary and my step-father an Air Force sergeant. However, I am well educated, had professional jobs and made good money all my life.  I clean-up well and can speak intelligently on most subjects. So, I do not have issues rubbing elbows with upper-middle-class or even hi-so. Try thinking out of the box. Join the Rotary International; nothing more than a few bucks and your time is required; and you meet local business owners and government/corporate  managers. Join a golf club and play with the locals instead of the other expats. If you have degrees, join a university speakers' program. Do something other than the lower-classes do. I have met many wealthy Thais riding my Harley. Big bike ownership takes money, so that leaves out many lo-so locals; even though it may attract some lo-so expats.  I chose to live in a good Thai neighborhood; my neighbors are relatively wealthy and I have developed good relationships with a couple of them. However, I too still like to hang out and bar hop and I do plenty of that riding with my bros. It's your life, live it the way you want.

I completely agree. I'm than happy with my "lo-so" wife from a poor family of 10, from very rural Laos, who left her village school at 15!

Sent from my SM-G930F using Thailand Forum - Thaivisa mobile app

[luk AJ]

I completely agree. I'm than happy with my "lo-so" wife from a poor family of 10, from very rural Laos, who left her village school at 15!

Sent from my SM-G930F using Thailand Forum - Thaivisa mobile app

I agree, “keeping up appearances” is so time and energy consuming. I focus all of that in my business so I can relax at home with a beautiful down to earth lady.


Luk

[Canuckabroad]

On 6/9/2018 at 9:25 AM, greytonlarken said:

Holy cow, thanks for all those replies.

 

Let me clarify some things: True, I know nothing about thai culture. Pattaya happened to be one of many cities I visited during an Asia trip. I met a few other thai girls before her and some of them insisted they pay for their own meal when we ate together. I did not go to Pattaya to "buy" a wife or explicitly find a girlfriend. But if something would match up, why not.

 

I'm rather confused by the fact so many of you think it's normal to pay your woman on a regular basis.. for.. I don't know for what exactly. Can I compare it to prostitution? You're paying her to stay with you? Maybe this is a thai thing? Like I said, I know nothing about thai culture, especially thai relationships. Where I come from, both people have their own job, their own income - at least in my age group, too. I suppose many of you are much older than me and just have a different point of view.

 

You think I don't treat her well because I don't pay her? She has a free place to stay, free food, free drinking, gets to do all kinds of activities, free partying and even clothes once a while. I'm not responsible for her family though. I told her numerous times I'm not paying her as if it was her job to give me a good time. I told her I don't mind if she leaves at any time, but she insists she wants to stay because she loves me. I like her too, a lot, but I don't want to say love quite yet because I don't trust the situation.

 

Back in the old days, women didn't work (much, or for much money) and it was common for husbands to give their wives allowances.  Back then it was also common for men to set up their mistresses and girlfriends - maybe pay for their apartments and give them some spending money.

 

You don't see this very often in the West anymore - women generally work, and there's a stigma to being a "kept woman", i.e a woman who dates a more established man directly for gifts of rent and money.

 

Gender relations in Thailand aren't like the West, they're more like the West 30 or 50 years ago.  Lots of guys move to Thailand for that very reason.  Some get married and are happy to give their wives allowances.  (What else are you going to do for a wife who doesn't work?  Micromanage her cosmetics and grocery bills?)  Other guys take girlfriends or mistresses, and just like the West in the 1950s, they set them up.

 

Maybe someday I'll do the same, maybe not.  Who am I to judge?

 

You're treating this girl like she's your contemporary, in your home country, and you're dating casually.  But really she's more like a country girl in the 1950s who moved to New York, hoping to find a man who will sweep her off her feet.  Any job she can get will pay her peanuts a day, for doing work you'd never consider doing yourself, and would take away all of her free time and most of her good cheer.  She's confused because you probably talk about her (or women) as though they're equals to men, but you are clearly holding all the cards, and if you talk to her you'll probably find that she doesn't really think men and women are equal in rights or abilities.

 

I'm not saying you should give her an allowance, but maybe you should realize that you're not really a good thing for her.  It's the equivalent of stringing along a girl for sex who thinks (or hopes) you're going to marry her.  As other posters have suggested, you should find a more independent girlfriend.  Maybe stick to Tinder profiles that list professional occupations and/or university names.  But your perceived value to those girls will be lower, so you may not have as much luck.