Has this happened to you?

[oldrunner]

Be grateful that your "relationahip" is the only thing she "cut off".

[Nice Boyd]

3 hours ago, TumblinDice said:

Hey, I realize its all over. I'd just like a explanation from her as to what happened. I'm not crying about it because I knew it was a long shot, just bewildered that she won't say anything & completely cuts communication. And to me it sounds like this "saving face" BS that Thais live by. That, I'm trying to get my head around & asking if there's been others who experienced similar. I've never known western women to cut & run without some kind of verbal last word.

 

BritManToo, your studly ways are commendable. Keep it up! 

 

They are C...., Liars , Scammers and to be treated as such...Thailand has changed and not for the better

[Retiredandhappyhere]

2 hours ago, maccastime said:

I retired in 2011 relocated to los.with a Thai lady that I met in Aus lived in aus for 13 years.after 1 year in Thailand and her heading off to hundreds of temples. I did a few with her but not as many as her. She meets a Thai lad. So after catching her out. Booked her on a one way ticket back to Australia.stayed alone for 6 months. Then met a lovely Thai lady we got on extra well. Then late 2016 she has a bleed on the brain never really recoved. Sadly she passed away in January this year.i think about her a lot. So sad but life can be so cruel. 

So sorry to hear your story.  You were so unlucky and ,as you and many others have said, life can be so cruel. I was married to a lovely lady in the UK for 37 years, but she left me for a new guy she had known for just 6 months. After I had been forced to sell my business and home to pay her 50%,  a few years before my retirement, she married the guy, and yet within  only one year was asking me to take her back. Meanwhile, I had retired to Thailand and eventually married a Thai lady.  Life can indeed be cruel, but somehow we manage to get through the pain and move on with our lives, despite the heavy personal and financial loss.

[TumblinDice]

I gotta say it was a good run while it lasted. Had a lot of nice "dreamy" chats & ideas.

I thought it would happen but having to wait 9 months for her to come here was gonna be the kicker. 

I did get her the passport so she's free to travel should anyone want to take her for a jaunt.

She would have eventually left anyways. I'm just glad I learned this about her now than much later when more time, heart & money was invested. I was warned about her from day one but didn't want to believe it.

Thanks for all the input & advice. It's always good to freshen up on the latest heartbreak stories.?

[RyanWalker]

Yeah mate happens alot. Happened to many of my mates and I'm almost in the same situation so, quite normal here. Grass is always greener kind of thing. It is what it is over here..

[marko kok prong]

You had a good heart which translates as a big wallet,she found some one with an even better heart,i don't think i need to translate that.

[4MyEgo]

1 hour ago, TumblinDice said:

Another Canadian teacher had warned me off about her from day one, how selfish & deceptive she was but I couldn't see it or believe it, until now.

A simple explanation or reason is all I'm asking from her. Christ, we were colleagues & friends for over a year. 

You were told, but you didn't listen, som nam nah as they say, happens to most blokes, another mate tries to put the WARNING sign in front of them, but they are blinded by the Black Widow's web of beauty.

 

Being a friend and a colleague for over a year means nothing to her, like others have said, it appears that you wanted more, she went along with it so as not to disappoint you or to lose face, but has now found the opportunity for her own closure by just pulling out the telephone line, but your still hanging on, sorry mate, but you know the answer, but will you accept it ?

 

Closure is within, eg acceptance, you know the real story, stop tormenting yourself.

 

 

 

[transam]

15 minutes ago, ratcatcher said:

Your avatar does indicate you have a big motor though??

Plus a big heart....?

[RyanWalker]

12 minutes ago, marko kok prong said:

You had a good heart which translates as a big wallet,she found some one with an even better heart,i don't think i need to translate that.

I have atleast 20 mates who went through that lol

[4MyEgo]

1 hour ago, TumblinDice said:

If you marry a Thai, you marry mom & dad too. She has a kid & her father is apparently terminally ill. I'm not too agreeable about supporting her parents so I'm sure that is 99% of her reason. 

The more you post in replies, the more I see why she ended you, the answer is right under your nose and you cannot see it.

 

I also don't agree with a lot you are saying about Thai culture, it is what you and your lady make of it.

 

For the record, I married a bar girl 11 years ago, she has two boys who I call my sons, "I am as happy as a pig in mud" as the saying goes, I don't support her parents, however she does put a meal on their table and pay their electricity bill every now and again, and gives them a leg up every now and again, so I suppose in a way I do support them indirectly and that's fine as I am in a better financial position than most.

 

I am not close with the inlaws, don't see them too often, even though they live 400 metres up the road, wife understands I married her and not her family, but if Papa was sick tomorrow, I would render whatever financial assistance I could, after all it's her dad. 

[ToddinChonburi]

One of her other bf's married her. Sorry to have to tell you this.

[wwest5829]

Seem to remember reading this post before.

[natway09]

You lucky devil. I wish some of them would leave me alone!!!

[theonetrueaussie]

While you thought you were in a relationship she did not, Unless you are here and physically with her then you are not in a relationship. She found someone else and hence why you were immediately cut off and blocked on all social media, Don't be surprised if in a few weeks/months when the relationship with the new guy ends that you will be readded and told some BS story.

I have lost count of the amount of girls that have been messaging and even video chatting with guys overseas while lying next to me in bed. Unless you are PHYSICALLY here most do not consider themselves in a relationship or consider it cheating at all. 

[The Theory]

As soon as they meet a better case (not a man, just a better opportunity) you are out of picture. “Cash is king” have you heard that from Thai girls ? You are not here and you are useless, nothing but just a promise. If you are not here, your wallet should be here then you will not be forgotten nor blocked. 

Good luck with next. 

My gf leaving me too !! I’m so happy. ??

Edited August 4, 2018 by The Theory

[TumblinDice]

7 minutes ago, 4MyEgo said:

The more you post in replies, the more I see why she ended you, the answer is right under your nose and you cannot see it.

 

I also don't agree with a lot you are saying about Thai culture, it is what you and your lady make of it.

 

For the record, I married a bar girl 11 years ago, she has two boys who I call my sons, "I am as happy as a pig in mud" as the saying goes, I don't support her parents, however she does put a meal on their table and pay their electricity bill every now and again, and gives them a leg up every now and again, so I suppose in a way I do support them indirectly and that's fine as I am in a better financial position than most.

 

I am not close with the inlaws, don't see them too often, even though they live 400 metres up the road, wife understands I married her and not her family, but if Papa was sick tomorrow, I would render whatever financial assistance I could, after all it's her dad. 

I agree with what you say & I do sense the reason as it is with most break ups in Thailand (money & supporting the in-laws). I would still like to hear it from her.

I told her my responsibility would be to her & her daughter, not her parents. I got my own parents to look after. Her salary could be used to support her parents.

I guess she didn't like that.

 

[ratcatcher]

9 minutes ago, theonetrueaussie said:

While you thought you were in a relationship she did not, Unless you are here and physically with her then you are not in a relationship. She found someone else and hence why you were immediately cut off and blocked on all social media, Don't be surprised if in a few weeks/months when the relationship with the new guy ends that you will be readded and told some BS story.
I have lost count of the amount of girls that have been messaging and even video chatting with guys overseas while lying next to me in bed. Unless you are PHYSICALLY here most do not consider themselves in a relationship or consider it cheating at all. 

"I have lost count of the amount of girls that have been messaging and even video chatting with guys overseas while lying next to me in bed. Unless you are PHYSICALLY here most do not consider themselves in a relationship or consider it cheating at all. "

Text after sext.?

[ratcatcher]

3 minutes ago, TumblinDice said:

I agree with what you say & I do sense the reason as it is with most break ups in Thailand (money & supporting the in-laws). I would still like to hear it from her.

I told her my responsibility would be to her & her daughter, not her parents. I got my own parents to look after. Her salary could be used to support her parents.

I guess she didn't like that.

To a Thai woman at least, her parents are the most important things in her life, particularly her mae.

Marry the Thai girl, you marry the family in many cases. You are lucky. Find a woman whose parents are passed on and with grown or no kids and you will be happy.

[oxforddon]

I have three ex Thai girlfriends who moved on, got married, had children and yet still keep in touch with me. Were they up-front at the time ? No, but I am sure it was to protect my feelings rather than to save face or any other cliche reasons. My experience is that Thais rarely forget relationships and if there was no unpleasantness in the past they will keep in touch.

[Toscano]

You may be disappointed , but thank your lucky stars , worse things happen in Thailand .  Long distance dating is not a good idea , professing love and planning to marry via the Internet or telephone .  Thai women only love for money , with few exceptions , maybe you didn't send enough money .

" There are plenty more fish in the sea ", but before thinking of marriage to a Thai girlfriend you need to know her really well for at least a couple of years .

Thai women's culture , thinking and emotion is not the same as western women ; Thai women are disproportionately pretty with beautiful bodies , but Thai culture does not express the intimacy , warmth and affection that can be expressed by western women .   

[4MyEgo]

10 minutes ago, TumblinDice said:

I agree with what you say & I do sense the reason as it is with most break ups in Thailand (money & supporting the in-laws). I would still like to hear it from her.

I told her my responsibility would be to her & her daughter, not her parents. I got my own parents to look after. Her salary could be used to support her parents.

I guess she didn't like that.

 

If she is the only daughter or the oldest daughter, Thai's do tend to, or are obliged to look after their parents, the saying is like, we gave you life, you have to support us when we get older, nothing wrong with that.

 

Now, she has a kid, what if tomorrow she stopped working to raise your kids, who would be supporting her parents.

 

Difficult choice for a lot of Thai women when they meet a farang, but I suppose they think all farangs are in a better position than Thai's, so why not, when 99.9% of them are cheap Charlie's on the pension.....ooops, did I just say that ?

 

I believe if one is in a position to assist, then so be it, it's a way of showing that they are humane, but most would put their bottle if Chang before their partners parents forgoing a meal, and shrug it off, not their problem, I guess, whatever floats their boat, their relationship, and they are all different, finding the balance to happiness is the key.

[AsiaHand]

Maybe she has,whats her name ?

[JTXR]

There could be any number of reasons why she ended it.  Could be a "good" reason; could be a bad one.  Unfortunately, you'll never know.  I agree with those that say the reason she ended it the way she did was the Thai tendency to avoid confrontation at all costs if possible.  Truly accepting that you'll never know may in fact be the quickest way to move on.  Good luck.

[Unify]

2 hours ago, TumblinDice said:

Thats what I've tried, 2 ph n#s, even a second FB account. She's completely cut me off. Its so ridiculous that she cant admit whatever it is. I've accepted that its over. Knowing this about her I wouldn't want to be with someone who can pull this off without a conscience.  I just want to know what it was.

The problem, which I've fallen victim to as well, is thinking you need to know why in order to get closure. You don't need to know why. You wouldn't know if you got a straight answer anyway.

 

I've rarely found any of the "let's talk about what went wrong and why you left" conversations worthwhile, from either side.

 

You don't need that information to move on.

 

Good luck you you. Many of us have been in similar situations.

Edited August 4, 2018 by Unify

[nickmondo]

WELCOME TO THAILAND MATE!!!

Would not have a serious relationship with a Thai woman for all the tea in China.

Enjoy, get bored, move on, NEXT.

Thats my advice.

I know the happily married ones on here will disagree.

I dont really care.

[Unify]

2 hours ago, Emster23 said:

A bloke in the hand is worth two (or more) in the bush

I had a sociology professor who once quipped "Absence makes the heart go wander". That made me laugh and stuck with me.

I always liked, "Absence makes the fond grow harder", myself.

[Tony125]

2 hours ago, TumblinDice said:

Thats what I've tried, 2 ph n#s, even a second FB account. She's completely cut me off. Its so ridiculous that she cant admit whatever it is. I've accepted that its over. Knowing this about her I wouldn't want to be with someone who can pull this off without a conscience.  I just want to know what it was.

Problem is you say you've accepted it's over but you really haven't or you wouldn't be on this site whining "why , why"

You say you are not young well if not then you are very immature and naive . People leave other's for any number of reasons sometimes another person but as you two were never in an intimate relationship you were really nothing more than friends no matter what you were making out of it. A friend of mine 55yo American came over met a young 23 yo Thai girl (mall salesgirl) very pretty started dating(never slept with her cuz she's good girl) Later saw on one of her guy friends FB page that they were engaged even though she was getting about $200--$300 a month from my friend for 3 months to help her out. When confronted about it just blocked her FB page. Thai don't like confrontation so will break off without explanation seen it happen before. Don't be a stalker ,try to get revenge by posting photos of you with  her just take the high rode ,move on.

[RT555]

Always a good laugh at guys like you. 

[Max66]

3 hours ago, Daveyh said:

She has definitely moved on ....... you should do the same. Don't dwell on it .......... no point. She's found something else that just might be better than what she had ............. Thai thinking is their family & what she can do to improve her quality of life. It's always money, money & money ............ which is of course "survival" here. My view? ............... relationships are for fools here. The women are beautiful & enjoy your stay here ................. "pay as you go" ......... you'll be a lot happier! Good luck & happy hunting eh?

Words of wisdom.?

[Kadilo]

Thats what I've tried, 2 ph n#s, even a second FB account. She's completely cut me off. Its so ridiculous that she cant admit whatever it is. I've accepted that its over. Knowing this about her I wouldn't want to be with someone who can pull this off without a conscience.  I just want to know what it was.

Bad move. Just sounds like you’re stalking her doing that. Going by some of the horror stories you hear when foreigners dump their Thai g/fs I’d say her cutting of all ties is a blessing.

 

What do you actually need to know? That it wasn’t you, it was her? That you are a great guy but it just didn’t work?........seriously just move on. They are two a penny.

 

 

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