My wife cries a lot....mostly relating to phone addiction?

[Vacuum]

5 hours ago, balo said:

Consider your investment lost.

 

Never invest more than you can 'comfortably' lose.

[robblok]

David,

 

Wanting 50% of the proceeds for just putting your money there while she does all the work is a bit over the top. Maybe she thinks its unfair.. from a business point of view its wrong IMHO. Maybe you should be entitled to 10% of interest on the loan maybe a bit more.. but 50% of all.. sounds a lot.

 

Of course if the loan is real high and the income is low I could be wrong.

[BobBKK]

Why are you doing this?

[soistalker]

I think you should be very, very careful. You are worth more dead to her now.

[robblok]

16 minutes ago, Aussieroaming said:

Why should she pay you back 50% of expenses if she is the main worker in the business? She might cry because of her business partner

That is what i said too... there should be a fair interest percentage on the loan and the rest should go to the wife for her work. At least that would be fair.

[FritsSikkink]

"She starts crying blah blah."

"Tonight she cried again over another financial issue. Im concerned she might be concealing something "

"She has no idea how hard it was for me."

"I get the feeling she doesnt like me having 50% of profits for our business. " 

I hear you only complaining and don't see any interest from you how your wife is feeling. Try to have a decent talk to her so you really know what is bothering her.

[neeray]

11 hours ago, swissie said:

"Our business is doing well and we are making good money. She is the main worker as I dont have a Work permit. I dont think she  understands how hard I worked in the last 20 yrs to get the money to open our business. I had to borrow money and take risks. She has no idea how hard it was for me. I get the feeling she doesnt like me having 50% of profits for our business."

 

  After having read this I broke out in tears myself. I bet I cried harder over this than your wife ever could.????

I'm curious about your response. Why such a nasty reaction to the OP?

[BigT73]

So basically you are like some thai males that sends his misses to work swings in the hammock all day and takes the 50 % because your entitled and she should be honoured.  She prob crying about her age as she is too old to go back work bar and find another fish.  The probable thing too is people around her or online telling her the same thing.

[dickjones2018]

this sounds like the typical :  how to make a small fortune in thailand...

 

well, you save money for 20 years like the op, even have to borrow, but all your trust into a person that has no business degree or experience and slowly your big fortune start to become a small one

[neeray]

2 hours ago, inThailand said:

Probably because her hidden bf is breaking up with her?

18 posts for this to finally be suggested. Colin, it was in my mind from the get go (probably others too). But you had the balls to put it to type.

The Facebook thing sounds somewhat curious (or suspicious).

[CanuckThai]

Interesting thread and one I can semi relate to.  OP, rule #1: determine and agree on your wife's salary, debt servicing, and what dividend you and the wife will receive.  It's part of your overhead, before profit. 

 

My wife has a small business (very small) on the side.  A lot of Facebook time involved, she does it because she loves it.  She has a good full time job (healthcare/medical).  I've helped with her business, from planning, accounting, marketing etc. , strategies that I'm familiar and comfortable with from owning businesses back home.  Very challenging to "gently" bring a Thai wife (no business experience, head strong, all about "face" and very, VERY, VERY Thai) up to speed on the basics.  

 

[neeray]

I don't see anything wrong or unusual with the 50/50 split. They're a married couple, 50/50 sounds right.

As for her doing all the work, that was probably explored before they started. As he explained, under Thai law, he can not work in the business.

But consider that he put up all the hard earned money and took the risk. And consider that he "may" be the brains behind the business. With all of the above said, I think he is entitled to the 50%.

 

But to talk about making good money after only one month of operations is judging success a bit prematurely. That hardly gives the copy cats time to get started next door. Such could be devastating.

I'd be curious to know what the nature of the business is.

[473geo]

13 hours ago, davidst01 said:

Last week I made a few mistakes re some expenses on a spreadsheet. She starts crying blah blah.  

  

Tonight she cried again over another financial issue. 

I wonder how compassionately you are 'discussing' these 'issues', needs very careful handling that you don't shatter her confidence. Needs to be all support from your side and encouragement, praise, if the business is doing well and she is working hard then a little mai pen rai flexibility on 'financial constraints' may serve as encouragement. Perhaps you could use your 50% revenue which is almost extortionate in my mind, to provide some assistance for her.

If this lady is working real hard and has little time for herself and to pamper herself a little she is not seeing reward for her efforts and hence the looking old comment. When was the last time she had a break from 'work'?

 

The facebook thing is a non event, my circle of friends on facebook is small but I find working all day in the evening I often cannot keep up viewing all the generated daily input, my Thai family have hundreds of friends and relatives, always something going on on facebook!!

[Elkski]

How can anyone say 50% of profits is unfare when they don't know the numbers.  OP said she agreed to pay the loan back.   We don't know if when the loan is paid back the income is 100% hers or not.  But is that how marriage works.  Man splits his earnings but women don't? I don't think so.  

We don't know how her current 50% compares to wages in similar work as a employee.  We don't know the growth rate.   

Many Thai people don't understand how simple  compound interest works.  The OP states that it is hard earned money for his but we don't know what % of his retirement funds this represents.  Many times businesses have a money person and a managing partner.  After the loan is serviced it's co owned.  That's just the way it is.   

Add in Thai women are not all good at sharing what's on their mind.  

Basically we can't say anything about the financial arrangement. But it sounds like he has a communication issue going on if he us asking our opinion about dark FB usage and tears. 

[Scouse123]

She could very well be playing Facebook or something similar as a ' release valve ' to the pressure she feels under business wise.

 

Thai women that I have met, do not respond well to the pressures of finance and businesses.

 

Her saying she is looking old in the mirror, is maybe a subtle complaint that you are pushing too hard or expecting too much.

 

Anyway, I see the OP hasn't really responded much to the TV members posts, so maybe she has walked out and he has been left running the business!

[OneMoreFarang]

2 hours ago, bendejo said:

"Phone addiction" is not the same as compulsively playing video games.  Being on the phone means there are other people in communication.  The questions should be who she is communicating with, and what they are on about.

When was the last time you used a "phone"?

Lots of what many people do on their mobile phone does not involve communication.

It could involve communication (here and now or delayed like i.e. with email). But it doesn't have to.

[Media1]

I here you loud and clear. Firstly l agree l have the same road. Although my wife does understand but l had to drum it into her head. 

She understands but they have selective memory. 

They do use harmful words to make you feel guilty. Which you are not so my advice to you is this. You are allowed to own the business. Sit your wife down outside of the house. Take her somewhere. And have a calm discussion regarding the business and your rfuture plans and relationship.

I advise you record this also. You can buy top end low price spy gear online. Be smart here. All this is ammunition at a later date. Protect yourself. By the looks of things she is very immature and l can't see it lasting. Prepare plan B very very quietly.

 

[Media1]

13 hours ago, Rc2702 said:

Facebook seems to be a big commercial driver here. I'd be interested to know Facebook searches versus google searches here in thailand. I reckon the difference is no where near what other countries are.

 

Why can't you spread your expenses over a longer period at say 25% or is it a case of you wanting 50% profits forever?

 

If your going to contribute try not to make a hash of the spreadsheets and 1 example of her on Facebook at night is a bit of a knee jerk reaction or signs of someone who is a bit light on the details.

 

I knew a guy once who was a beast at closing a deal but he always missed the finer details, after 8 years with his Mrs 15 holidays and two house purchases she revealed she was not 33 but 41. This was a woman with a British passport too.

 

It came as no surprise when he told me as he always missed the finer details. She was hot though and looked 30 max. 

 

 

Thais are TH mad. Forget Google you can learn there. They have no interest

[OneMoreFarang]

8 minutes ago, Media1 said:

I here you loud and clear. Firstly l agree l have the same road. Although my wife does understand but l had to drum it into her head. 

She understands but they have selective memory. 

They do use harmful words to make you feel guilty. Which you are not so my advice to you is this. You are allowed to own the business. Sit your wife down outside of the house. Take her somewhere. And have a calm discussion regarding the business and your rfuture plans and relationship.

I advise you record this also. You can buy top end low price spy gear online. Be smart here. All this is ammunition at a later date. Protect yourself. By the looks of things she is very immature and l can't see it lasting. Prepare plan B very very quietly.

And what would be the point about such a recording?

Showing it to her sometime later and telling her: I made this illegal recording where you promised you will do A,B,C... ?

[OneMoreFarang]

It seems some people here blame the woman.

Is that fair?

 

Would she have married him if he would have told her: In the future I will relax while you will work all day and obviously you will give me half of the profit.

 

Often Thais and Farangs have different ideas about their relationship, marriage, the family, work, etc.

Should we really blame the Thai women, living in Thailand, that they don't behave the way their farang husbands hoped she would behave?

 

Many Thai/farang relationships work because both are clear about what they do, how they spend money, etc.

But then there are lots of relationships who are based on fantasies, often on both sides.

And then people complain that their beloved partner did not live up to the fantasy they hoped for...

[Media1]

18 minutes ago, OneMoreFarang said:

And what would be the point about such a recording?

Showing it to her sometime later and telling her: I made this illegal recording where you promised you will do A,B,C... ?

Not ilegal. All very important anything could spill from her mouth. I record all situations as evidence. A bit like a go pro. The lawyer may need it at a later date. Use your brains

[Media1]

14 minutes ago, OneMoreFarang said:

It seems some people here blame the woman.

Is that fair?

 

Would she have married him if he would have told her: In the future I will relax while you will work all day and obviously you will give me half of the profit.

 

Often Thais and Farangs have different ideas about their relationship, marriage, the family, work, etc.

Should we really blame the Thai women, living in Thailand, that they don't behave the way their farang husbands hoped she would behave?

 

Many Thai/farang relationships work because both are clear about what they do, how they spend money, etc.

But then there are lots of relationships who are based on fantasies, often on both sides.

And then people complain that their beloved partner did not live up to the fantasy they hoped for...

Very funny LOL. He gave her a business my wife loved the opportunity and grasped it happily. Without him she be working for peanuts. Yes she is a bad seed. Has no value or appreciation. Thainess

[Tchooptip]

29 minutes ago, Media1 said:

Not ilegal. All very important anything could spill from her mouth. I record all situations as evidence. A bit like a go pro. The lawyer may need it at a later date. Use your brains

If it is not illegal recording your spouse without her consent it is having a vision that is rotten of the marital relationship. And should my wife registered me to put it back in my face after a few months she would not be the winner, because I would consider that a declaration of war and I would act adequately. 

[DJ54]

A business as we all know can be stressful and maybe she feeling it. Some can adjust to pressure some can’t. Don’t know the type of 

business or if your wife has done this type of work and been responsible for all that goes with it. 

 

It’s difficult at times and you have to be driven to survive. Talk it over with her. Have some of your colleagues and hers have a round table without putting pressure on any certain things so everyone has a understanding what challenges there are and how to get by them. 

 

Hopefully you both can work through it....

[connda]

She probably watches too much Lakhon.  Throw the TV out.

[OneMoreFarang]

28 minutes ago, connda said:

She probably watches too much Lakhon.  Throw the TV out.

And you think after that she will be happier?

Good luck!

[wolf81]

2 hours ago, OneMoreFarang said:

It seems some people here blame the woman.

Is that fair?

 

Would she have married him if he would have told her: In the future I will relax while you will work all day and obviously you will give me half of the profit.

 

Often Thais and Farangs have different ideas about their relationship, marriage, the family, work, etc.

Should we really blame the Thai women, living in Thailand, that they don't behave the way their farang husbands hoped she would behave?

 

Many Thai/farang relationships work because both are clear about what they do, how they spend money, etc.

But then there are lots of relationships who are based on fantasies, often on both sides.

And then people complain that their beloved partner did not live up to the fantasy they hoped for...

I am still also trying to manage our money better. Before I would send my GF 25.000 Baht a month for groceries, diapers and the like. But it seems to be a bit too little for her. I would also prefer to use about 5.000 Baht for myself (for coffee, beer, and paying small things like gasoline money, etc…). But with this money my GF can't manage and often she'd ask me to buy baby milk or diapers separately. Or if we'd go to the Tesco she'd ask me to pay the bill (last time 5000 Baht) To me this is annoying, makes me feel not in control of our spending habits.

 

So next month we'll open a shared bank account. I will put in 40.000 Baht each month and that should be enough for the both of us. I will make it very clear to my GF that when money is running low at the end of the month, perhaps we should wait a week or 2 before going to the Tesco. Etc… 

 

 

[OneMoreFarang]

7 minutes ago, wolf81 said:

I am still also trying to manage our money better. Before I would send my GF 25.000 Baht a month for groceries, diapers and the like. But it seems to be a bit too little for her. I would also prefer to use about 5.000 Baht for myself (for coffee, beer, and paying small things like gasoline money, etc…). But with this money my GF can't manage and often she'd ask me to buy baby milk or diapers separately. Or if we'd go to the Tesco she'd ask me to pay the bill (last time 5000 Baht) To me this is annoying, makes me feel not in control of our spending habits.

 

So next month we'll open a shared bank account. I will put in 40.000 Baht each month and that should be enough for the both of us. I will make it very clear to my GF that when money is running low at the end of the month, perhaps we should wait a week or 2 before going to the Tesco. Etc… 

Are you serious?

If you really want to go that way maybe put 5,000 per week into that account. And keep 20,000 for all the extras which you are supposed to pay.

 

The problem with many Thais is that they can't do math or don't want to do it.

If you would give her i.e. 25,000B per month she will probably think: Wow, that's a lot of money, lets spend it.

If you would give her 830B per day she would think differently.

But the best is probably to give her three times a day 277 B...

[observer90210]

If you are getting good sex, good food and getting back some money, stay.

 

If the answer is No to all the above.....run mate..run and fast before she sends a relative to push you away.

[Tchooptip]

7 minutes ago, OneMoreFarang said:

Are you serious?

If you really want to go that way maybe put 5,000 per week into that account. And keep 20,000 for all the extras which you are supposed to pay.

 

The problem with many Thais is that they can't do math or don't want to do it.

If you would give her i.e. 25,000B per month she will probably think: Wow, that's a lot of money, lets spend it.

If you would give her 830B per day she would think differently.

But the best is probably to give her three times a day 277 B...

The problem with your answer is, it is not funny at all, it is not Thai bashing at all, it is true 100%! 

Even as far as the three times a day 277 B (or more but 3 times a day lol) 

It shows a perfect knowledge of their natures and therefore an easier mutual understanding