Worst Joke Ever 2024

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[tomazbodner]

[tomazbodner]

[Crossy]

[roo860]

[roo860]

[Zyxel]

[Zyxel]

[ravip]

[ravip]

Teacher: "If I gave you 2 cats and another 2 cats and another 2, how many would you have?"

 

Johnny: "Seven."

 

Teacher: "No, listen carefully... If I gave you two cats, and another two cats and another two, how many would you have?"

 

Johnny: "Seven."

 

Teacher: "Let me put it to you differently. If I gave you two apples, and another two apples and another two, how many would you have?"

 

Johnny: "Six."

 

Teacher: "Good. Now if I gave you two cats, and another two cats and another two, how many would you have?"

 

Johnny: "Seven!"

 

Teacher: "Johnny, where in the heck do you get seven from?!"

 

Johnny: "Because I've already got a freaking cat!"

[ravip]

An older, white haired man walked into a jewelry store one Friday evening with a beautiful young gal at his side.

 

He told the jeweler he was looking for a special ring for his girlfriend.

 

The jeweler looked through his stock, brought out a $5,000 ring and showed it to him.

 

The old man said, “I don’t think you understand, I want something very special.”

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At that statement, the jeweler went to his special stock and brought another ring over.

 

“Here’s a stunning ring at only $40,000,” the jeweler said.

 

The young lady’s eyes sparkled and her whole body trembled with excitement.

 

The old man seeing this said, “We’ll take it.”

 

The jeweler asked how payment would be made and the old man stated by check.

 

“I know you need to make sure the check is good, so I’ll write it now and you can call the bank on Monday to verify the funds. I’ll pick the ring up Monday afternoon,” he said.

 

Monday morning, a very teed-off jeweler phoned the old man.

 

“There’s no money in that account.”

 

“I know”, said the old man, “but can you imagine the weekend I had?”

[roo860]

[roo860]

[Crossy]

A man was stopped by a game-warden in Northern Algonquin Park recently with two buckets of fish leaving a lake well known for its fishing.

The game warden asked the man, “Do you have a license to catch those fish?”

The man replied to the game warden, “No, sir. These are my pet fish.”

“Pet fish?!” the warden replied.

“Yes, sir. Every night I take these here fish down to the lake and let them swim around for a while. I whistle and they jump back into their buckets, and I take em home.”

“That’s a bunch of <deleted>! Fish can’t do that!” replied the warden in disbelief.

The man looked at the game warden for a moment and then said, “Here, I’ll show you. It really works.”

“O.K. I’ve GOT to see this!” The game warden was curious.

The man poured the fish into the river and stood and waited…

After several minutes, the game warden turned to the man and said, “Well?”

“Well, what?” the man responded.

“When are you going to call them back?” the game warden prompted.

“Call who back?” the man asked.

“The FISH,” the warden said sternly.

“What fish?” the man asked.

[fangless]

3 hours ago, roo860 said:

Did the bank manager say he would chew on it and get back to her or tell her that the bubble had already bust.

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[ravip]