Worst Joke Ever 2024

[Zyxel]

[Zyxel]

[Zyxel]

[Zyxel]

[Zyxel]

[Zyxel]

[Zyxel]

[jvs]

[scottiejohn]

2 hours ago, ballpoint said:

Baldy?

[MJCM]

"No we don't mind. We've got the records at home"

John Lennon when asked at a press conference if he was bothered the band couldn't hear themselves sing at concerts.

 

[MJCM]

The fact that there is a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic load.

[MJCM]

Did you know that after all these years, the swimming pool on Titanic is still filled with water?

[MJCM]

Did you know a kangaroo can jump higher than a house?

 

A kangaroo can jump as high as 3 meters, whereas a house can't jump at all.

[MJCM]

“Human Cannonball” is the only job where being employed means getting fired.

[MJCM]

Why does a chicken coop have 2 doors?

 

Because if it had 4 doors it would be a chicken sedan.

[Crossy]

11 minutes ago, MJCM said:

Did you know that after all these years, the swimming pool on Titanic is still filled with water?

 

I just had to Google it, and yes, Titanic did have a pool. It probably is still full too, but it's apparently behind a closed watertight door on the wreck

 

https://emmacruises.com/inside-the-titanics-swimming-pool-real-photos-restrictions-and-design/

 

[jvs]

2 hours ago, scottiejohn said:

Baldy?

Come again?

 

[VocalNeal]

50 minutes ago, MJCM said:

“Human Cannonball” is the only job where being employed means getting fired.

If you can find staff of the right calibre.

[roo860]

[roo860]

5 hours ago, Zyxel said:

You mean crisps

[roo860]

[scottiejohn]

3 hours ago, MJCM said:

Did you know that after all these years, the swimming pool on Titanic is still filled with water?

No sh!t!

[scottiejohn]

1 hour ago, roo860 said:

You mean crisps

Depends on the nationality of the "smart TV"!

[scottiejohn]

2 hours ago, VocalNeal said:

If you can find staff of the right calibre.

And they don't have a short fuze!

[scottiejohn]

2 hours ago, jvs said:

Come again?

 

Sorry I was talking about your friend Richard but you probably know him as Dick Cranium!

 

PS;  Any points for getting a "Dick" into the answer to the original post?  I did not want to make a C¬nt of myself by giving the other obvious clittering answer!

Edited March 27, 2023 by scottiejohn

[still kicking]

[roo860]

[MJCM]

Finally my winter fat has gone... 

 

Now, I have spring rolls.

[MJCM]

I've started storing cash in the bush at the bottom of my garden.

 

It's my hedge fund.

[ravip]