Viz Joke.

 

Don’t invite drug addicts round for a meal on boxing day. They may find the offer of cold turkey embarrassing or offensive.

The Amazing Talking Pony had to cancel his evening performance due to a bad case of laryngitus. He apologized saying " Sorry, I'm a little hoarse."

Had some time spare last night so I thought I would make a To Do List .





















Didn’t take as long as I thought it would !!

Never ever...and I mean never !!, try to impress a girl by talking about your job !!

There was an election in Thailand

anyone eat lice?

1 hour ago, Andrew Dwyer said:

as long as I thought

Wasn't it longer after you finished the list?

 

"Why have you got those marks on your knees?" the friend asked. 
"Oh, it's making love, doggie style." 
"Well, why don't you change positions?" 
"I'm willing, but the dog isn't." 
 

Did you hear about the young girl who swallowed a pin when she was 10 and never felt a prick until she was 19? 

 

 

"Now don't forget," said mother as her daughter went out on her first date, "say no to everything he suggests." 
Later on in the evening after they'd been out to dinner he turned to her and asked, "Do you mind if we go back to my place for a bit of sex?" 
 

Q: What did the dog say to the flea?
A: Stop bugging me!
———-
Q: What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?
A: A chili dog on a bun.
———-
Q: Why do fish live in salt water?
A: Because pepper makes them sneeze!
———-
Q: Where do mice park their boats?
A: At the hickory dickory dock.
———-
Q: Where did the sheep go on vacation?
A: The baaaahamas

Wasn't it longer after you finished the list?
 

No !!

Maybe if there had been photos [emoji848]

The thing about paranoia is, sometimes they are watching you.

This one might be a little too cryptic for some but Brits who had kids in the eighties or nineties will know !!

 

 

This is what happens when you leave Jess alone in the van !!

 

How my grandmother got a job in the Houses of Parliament !!

This is amazing !!
The guy looks like JB and KG !!

Happy Mothers Day !!

So sad [emoji20]

Gotta have my brew !!

I’ve cut back a bit now !!

Not sure this would work ?
I mean, can rednecks actually read ??

And finally !!

Festival goers in the Uk have been complaining about the lack of originality in recent years .

Not surprising !!
This has been the lineup for the last 4 years !!