I saw a robbery at the new Apple store in Icon Siam.  Police called me in as an iWitness.

I saw a robbery at the new Apple store in Icon Siam.  Police called me in as an iWitness.

I was at the opening day of that store and interested to see Apple showing off some of their latest ventures :

Apple makeup - iShadow, iBrow and iLash
Apple kitchen appliances - iLevel
Apple frozen desserts - iScream

It was a kind of Motor Show affair with lots of pretties around - iCandy and iFull

^ 

 

 

A new vicar arrived a a local church,after a few weeks

two old biddies ,Bella and Agnes were talking about him,

Bella...... I don't like that new vicar,he bawls like a bull.

Agnes....Oh !, has he.

regards worgeordie

At the National Art Gallery in Dublin, a husband and wife were staring at a portrait that had them completely confused. The painting depicted three black men totally naked, sitting on a bench.

Two of the figures had black penises, but the one in the middle had a pink penis. The curator of the gallery realized that they were having trouble interpreting the painting and offered his personal assessment.

He went on for over half an hour explaining how it depicted the sexual emasculation of African Americans in a predominately white patriarchal society . "In fact", he pointed out, "some serious critics believe that the pink penis also reflects the cultural and sociological oppression experienced by gay men in contemporary society".

After the curator left, an Irishman approached the couple and said, "Would you like to know what the painting is really about?"

"Now why would you claim to be more of an expert than the curator of the gallery", asked the couple?

"Because I am the artist, who painted the picture", he replied, "In fact, there are no African Americans depicted at all.

They're just three Irish coal miners. The guy in the middle went home for lunch"

What did the buffalo say to his son when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

 

I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon. I’ll let you know.

 

A slice of apple pie is $2.50 in Jamaica and $3.00 in the Bahamas. These are the pie rates of the Caribbean.

 

I just watched a story on the news about the trial of a woman who beat her husband to death with his guitar collection.  The judge asked "First offender?"

"No", she replied, "first a Gibson and then a Fender".

THE VIBRATOR

As a woman passed her daughter's closed bedroom door, she heard a strange buzzing noise coming from within. Opening the door, she observed her daughter with a vibrator.

Shocked, she asked: 'what in the world are you doing?'

The daughter replied: 'mom, I'm thirty-five years old, unmarried, and this thing is about as close as
I'll ever get to a husband. Please, go away and leave me alone.'

The next day, the girl's father heard the same buzz coming from the other side of the closed bedroom
door. Upon entering the room, he observed his daughter making passionate love to her vibrator.

To his query as to what she was doing, the daughter said: 'dad I'm thirty-five, unmarried, and this
thing is about as close as I'll ever get to a husband. Please, go away and leave me alone.'

A couple days later, the wife came home from a shopping trip, placed the groceries on the kitchen
counter, and heard that buzzing noise coming from, of all places, the living room. She entered that
area and observed her husband sitting on the couch, downing a cold beer, and staring at the TV.

The vibrator was next to him on the couch, buzzing like crazy.

The wife asked: 'What the f@!* are you doing?'

The husband replied: 'I'm watching football with my son-in-law.'

.

Sent from my SM-J610F using Thailand Forum - Thaivisa mobile app