The 6th-grade science teacher, Mrs. Parks, asked her class, “Which human body part increases to ten times its size when stimulated?”

No one answered until little Mary stood up and said, “You should not be asking sixth-graders a question like that! I’m going to tell my parents, and they will go and tell the principal, who will then fire you!”

 

Mrs. Parks ignored her and asked the question again, “Which body part increases to 10 times its size when stimulated?”

 

Little Mary’s mouth fell open. Then she said to those around her, “Boy, is she going to get in big trouble!”

 

The teacher continued to ignore her and said to the class, “Anybody?”

 

Finally, Little Johnny stood up, looked around nervously, and said, “The body part that increases 10 times its size when stimulated is the pupil of the eye.”

 

Mrs. Parks said, “Very good, Johnny,” then turned to Mary and continued.

 

“As for you, young lady, I have three things to say: One, you have a dirty mind. Two, you didn’t read your homework. And three, one day you are going to be very, very disappointed.”

“What’s your name, son?” a principal asked his student. The kid replied, “D-d-d-dav-dav-david, sir.”

“Do you have a stutter?” asked the principal. The student answered, “No sir, but my dad has a stutter and the guy who registered my name was a real jerk.”

The first Underground station ever opened was Baker Street in 1906.
What was the point of that?
Where would you go?

Don't believe it when they say you can keep a turkey in the freezer for months.
I put one in last night and now its dead.

There are two words in life that will open a lot of doors for people.
Push and pull.

The Liverpudlian who invented the bullet proof vest died today.
R.I.P Kev lah....

36 minutes ago, ballpoint said:

The Liverpudlian who invented the bullet proof vest died today.
R.I.P Kev lah....

OK ---do you know what it's like being the only person who doesn't get the jokes--- I even try Google before I come back and ask the obvious........

 

  = Kev lah.... ??????

39 minutes ago, sanuk711 said:

OK ---do you know what it's like being the only person who doesn't get the jokes--- I even try Google before I come back and ask the obvious........

 

  = Kev lah.... ??????

Scousers (people from Liverpool) often say "Lah" at the end of a sentence so Kev Lah (Kevlar) 

 

Would also work with Singaporeans though then he could be Kev La or Kev Lor... 

 

Ok Lah ???? 

 

What do tight pants and a cheap hotel have in common?
No ballroom.