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Worst Joke Ever 2026

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8 hours ago, ballpoint said:

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Is that where the terms  building and/or cementing a relationship come from?

My other thoughts are do the bricks trowel down afterwards and if they later fall out with the person that laid them do they just build a wall of silence and maybe get plastered to hide their shame?

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An Irish farmer taking the aural part of his driving test and was asked how he would make a U turn.

"Fetch me my wellies, I'll show you how I make her eyes water."
 

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My mother-in-law and I don't get along.
Take our anniversary for instance. 
She sent us some monogrammed bath towels.

"Hers and Its."
 

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A man looks over his garden wall to see his neighbour’s son digging a hole in the back garden.

"What are you up to?" he asks.

"I'm digging a hole for my dead hamster," he replies.

"Sorry to hear that, but it's a big hole for a hamster, isn't it?"

"Of course it is, it's inside your bleedin cat!" he yells.
 

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"Colin," she whispered, nudging him in the ribs to wake him up. "I can hear noises downstairs, I think we've got burglars. Go and see." 
But Colin refused to move.

"What's happened to you?" she hissed. "You were brave when you married me."

"I know," he replied, "that's what all my friends said."
 


“People with Tourette’s… what makes them tick?”
 

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“Viagra has instructions: ‘Keep away from children’ – what kind of man do they think I am?”
   
PS;  It is a rhetorical question only!

????

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