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Have you had a good life?


ivor bigun

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10 minutes ago, murraynz said:

this quote sums things up perfectly----some people have misfortune, due to ill health or accident...

basicly--'we reap what we sow'.....

in my situation --i spent far too much of my life working--40yrs + doing 80++ hrs per week.

its never worth sacrificing this much of your life....

fortunately- at 68yrs, i still have excellent health, good investments, good family..no wife and ample funds to enjoy a good retirement in thailand

Don't know why my dad or college professors never told me. "Don't work for anyone but yourself."  All those hours I slaved away for some other people who didn't care for me at all in fact disliked me."  In the end I just left.  No goodbys or tears.  Closed my bank accounts, sold my property, and the first time I stopped to think about it was in the Nana Plaza parking lot.  I looked around, bought a beer as a lady came up to me and said, "Hey handsome, where we go?" I smiled and replied, "Up to you."  Never looked back and that was 20 years ago. 
 

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19 hours ago, Pharoticus said:

This. Perfect. Very true.

 

There are lots of idiots on these forums who talk too much about how ideal their lives are. And therein of course lies the truth.

 

If you have a life worth calling a life, you certainly won't discuss it with anonymous strangers on the internet.

Oh really, I do, nothing wrong being an open book, unless you've got something to hide or are worried others are going to have a go.

 

Whatever, each to their own mate !

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19 hours ago, Pharoticus said:

This. Perfect. Very true.

 

There are lots of idiots on these forums who talk too much about how ideal their lives are. And therein of course lies the truth.

 

If you have a life worth calling a life, you certainly won't discuss it with anonymous strangers on the internet.

Would you discuss it with millions of strangers you had never met like Winston Churchill?  https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Winston_Churchill_as_writer

 

How about Benjamin Franklin or Gandhi, Mandela and Bill Gates?  They all wrote at length about their lives. 

 

I know you are trying to make all of the posters who discuss their lives feel like idiots but in fact they are in the company of the best minds the world has ever known. 

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I have had a wonderful life despite many ups and downs .

I have made many mistakes along the way and in retrospect I regret some serious wrong decisions .

I have done nearly all the things I would like to have done , I have had wonderful love affairs with beautiful girls/women .

My first marriage was a success while it lasted and three fine children all doing well with families of their own .

My present marriage to a beautiful Thai lady some years younger than me is not as good as it might be ,

but approaching 82yrs I have to be content with no physical relationship that I am still capable of and would so enjoy .

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23 hours ago, wgdanson said:

When I tell people i was a pro musician they say 'All your life'. I reply 'Not Yet'. 

12 years as a single guy working in Scandinavia, Germany & Switzerland in hotels & nightclubs.

14 years running my own hotel as manager/chef with my lovely young wife and still singing with her.

Two wonderful boys now singing and drumming in Dubai. Sadly wife died.

10 years here in Thaialnd, 6 years in Pattaya singing and guitaring. Last 4 years up here in P'lok doing f....al....

YES. I have had a very good, healthy, satisfying life. If I get 10 more years I shall be so happy.....and broke!

Transam likes to sing, maybe you and him could start a duo. ????

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1 hour ago, murraynz said:

this quote sums things up perfectly----some people have misfortune, due to ill health or accident...

basicly--'we reap what we sow'.....

in my situation --i spent far too much of my life working--40yrs + doing 80++ hrs per week.

its never worth sacrificing this much of your life....

fortunately- at 68yrs, i still have excellent health, good investments, good family..no wife and ample funds to enjoy a good retirement in thailand

nice post, as i am sure you will agree no about of money can buy time. i reliesed that at 40 and retired.

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1 hour ago, 4MyEgo said:

Life has been a really interesting journey for me, I can honestly say I have no regrets because my life has been just that, a journey, up mountains and down mountains, and everyone has their own journeys.

 

Have always had good friends to have a laugh with, lost my best friends early at 27 & 44, there deaths really shook me up as they both had diseases, the big C, my oldest brother passed from drinking too much hardcore alcohol at 49, it was really sad because none of us could bring him around, although we tried, and I accepted his death far more easier than my best friends deaths as they didn't have a choice, and my brother is better off where he is now, as opposed to the way he was living, really sad to say, and I miss him dearly, but trust me, it was hell the way he was living, so he is at peace now, and I hope to see him again somewhere in another life.

 

Wasn't born into a family of wealth by far, the opposite, got married to a spoilt Princess at 26 and the married was set to be a failure from the start, long of the short her old man through her out when he found out she was dating and she ended up on my doorstep, so I couldn't really tell her to go as she didn't have anywhere else to go, so you could say I got sucked in...lol, I endured her for 12 years until she left me with our daughter of 18 months, now 22 and we have always gotten on, with the daughter that is, but I cannot blame her mother for anything as it takes two to Tango, as the saying goes, and her leaving the marriage meant she set me on my path to meet the freedom and to mee the love of my life, my Thai wife who I have been married to for 12 years, never thought I would remarry after the 1st marriage, but it was as if I went from driving an old VW beetle to a Rolls Royce, we really enjoy each others company and we are not in each others pockets, in other words, she is not insecure, we have two young daughter from our marriage who we adore, but don't spoil them, so life changed big time when I met her for the better.

 

Heart attack at 47 due to what I believe was a stressful job that just wanted more and more out of me and it would have been too hard to change career paths, one stent later and good as gold, although wouldn't recommend trying to score 4 goals with someone 21 years your junior in the one day ????

 

Retired to rural Thailand 3 years ago at 55, that was planned a decade earlier, investing in real estate made years prior from hard work paid off and now living life how it should be, stress free and not having to think about money.

 

What next, just taking it day by day, eating well, exercising and entertaining the occasional filly every now and again, because I can ????

 

Life's sure is great if you have your health, love from family and good friends, oh having money does help too.

 

To end: Just remember, we are not living, we are dying, make of that what you will.

 

 

 

Nice post, some interesting stories on this topic, nice one OP.

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46 minutes ago, marcusarelus said:

Would you discuss it with millions of strangers you had never met like Winston Churchill?  https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Winston_Churchill_as_writer

 

How about Benjamin Franklin or Gandhi, Mandela and Bill Gates?  They all wrote at length about their lives. 

 

I know you are trying to make all of the posters who discuss their lives feel like idiots but in fact they are in the company of the best minds the world has ever known. 

I'm sorry but you've completely missed the point.

 

The writers you refer to were invited by publishers to discuss their lives because they had accomplished truly great things.

 

The publishers figured that readers would be prepared to PAY to read about these men.

 

Notice the word PAY.

 

You'll often find little boys on forums who invite you to believe their little lives are perfect. It's very sad and very transparent.

 

If you're busy leading a life worth calling a life, you'll be too busy enjoying it to discuss it on silly forums.

 

 

 

 

 

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Most of my life was garbage right up until my thirties. Between my mother being committed to a mental institution at my birth which she never left, the constant beatings from my drunken old man up until I ran away from home at 12, then welfare homes as a ward of the state until 15, then my own drunken violent behavior through to 30. But hey a good Dooley upbringing. But there were good times through all the bad too. Like getting my first pair of new undies that weren’t hand me downs from my sisters or brothers when I got my ward of the state star at 12...that was like Xmas. 

It all started changing for me a few days after my first marriage breakup at 30. I am extremely fortunate that my mother in law at the time turned up when I drugged and drunk was in the process of taking the safety of the loaded double barrel shotgun which I had my lips already positioned over the barrels of. She had me committed right there and then. It was what happened two nights later in the mental hospital that turned me around. For a guy who has squared off numerous death from car wrecks, bush fires, swollen rivers, shot at etc. and fights galore it was the only thing that ever put fear in me. Probably as I was highly vulnerable in the state I was in. Was about 2 in the morning and I woke up to a woman patient that was out of her head on drugs and booze coming down the ward banging on doors and threatening havoc. I froze scared sh!tless and pulled the blankets over my head ,,, thankfully the orderlies arrived just before she got to my room. My life turned dramatically from utter crap after that. It was the fear of that night of where I was and what I would continue to be. Took a few years but attended several self development courses. Eventually got my two children from my ex wife where life was hell for them with her new partner and raised them as a solo working dad. That part of life had purpose and was wonderful until my nineteen year old daughter hung herself in our family home garage. I never had the chance to say to her from what I had been through that no matter how crap life is jeez with some work it gets better. But never saw it coming as she had so much going for her. We together had started a sponsor of a child under CCF to pay back the good that I had in my life. When she left us I took some time of work and came to CCF in Thailand to spend time with them and our sponsored child. That via my daughter opened a whole new world to me. Eventually I found an educated honest hard working middle class attractive Thai lady and she has been my wife here in Kiwiland for the last 14 years. But the real bonus has been the two beautiful young lasses abandoned by their Thai father the youngest at birth who loving call me Dad. For the beautiful thai family I have along with my oldest son who in his late thirties and set for life from his own work ethics, and for where I come from I think I am the luckiest son of a bitch in this world. Having a home here, and the Thai family home as well and a solid income and investments from working now in management for an American corporate life is sweet. The mess of my first thirty years shaped and at times just about broke me but by jeez the last thirty three and more so the last twenty years have been magic. The question is timely as I am about to donate a kidney to my wife and we reflected on this very question just on the weekend. It’s highly unlikely to go tits up but have I had a good life...at 63 hell yes and would not change any of it in spite of the at times gut wrenching mental pains. But jeez all my paternal family were workers into their nineties so looking for another thirty yet.

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23 minutes ago, Pharoticus said:

I'm sorry but you've completely missed the point.

 

The writers you refer to were invited by publishers to discuss their lives because they had accomplished truly great things.

 

The publishers figured that readers would be prepared to PAY to read about these men.

 

Notice the word PAY.

 

You'll often find little boys on forums who invite you to believe their little lives are perfect. It's very sad and very transparent.

 

If you're busy leading a life worth calling a life, you'll be too busy enjoying it to discuss it on silly forums.

Interesting if true but it's not.  The authors wrote an autobiography and went in search of a publisher and in some cases published it themselves and in some cases information was gathered after the authors had died and published then from the voluminous works they had written about themselves while alive. 

 

Most great men have been prodigious writers about themselves.  You probably should have gone to college and might have learned some of this stuff. 

 

You could google 100 notable men who have written about themselves or 5 Celebrity Wikipedia Entries They Clearly Wrote Themselves. 

 

I could guess about you.  UK factory worker, online relationship with Thai girl, planning a visit to Thailand in 3 years if the currency gets 100% better? 

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4 minutes ago, marcusarelus said:

Interesting if true but it's not.  The authors wrote an autobiography and went in search of a publisher and in some cases published it themselves and in some cases information was gathered after the authors had died and published then from the voluminous works they had written about themselves while alive. 

 

Most great men have been prodigious writers about themselves.  You probably should have gone to college and might have learned some of this stuff. 

I quite enjoy reading honest accounts of people’s lives, whether accomplished or not. You can learn a great deal by their mistakes. The one’s that are most interesting are those nearing the end of their lives, you’ll get some real honesty and wisdom from those people. Steve Jobs (not a particularly kind human being) gave a great speech about life near the end ... well worth a listen to for anyone who is apprehensive about trying new things and pursuing goals. 

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I was walking through a supermarket one day and this lady says to me, "You must be happy."

"Why?" I asked.

"Your whistling." she responded.

and in that moment I realized I was very happy. 

My life has been fun travelling the world, surfing, acting, married a few times, and now coming up on 75 next month, and living with a wonderfully funny and smart Thai lady and her two boys 8 and 12. My life is better now than I could have ever imagined.

And as for only living once.....wait till you die and find out it doesn't end there, but continues on but even better, unless you are one of the bad guys and have spent your life f^*€I got over people.....then good luck.

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I was walking through a supermarket one day and this lady says to me, "You must be happy."

"Why?" I asked.

"Your whistling." she responded.

and in that moment I realized I was very happy. 

My life has been fun travelling the world, surfing, acting, married a few times, and now coming up on 75 next month, and living with a wonderfully funny and smart Thai lady and her two boys 8 and 12. My life is better now than I could have ever imagined.

And as for only living once.....wait till you die and find out it doesn't end there, but continues on but even better, unless you are one of the bad guys and have spent your life f^*€I got over people.....then good luck.

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10 hours ago, Hummin said:

We have this 70+ year guy living in our condominium with his 30 year younger gf. He came over and told me how lucky he was, and how life turnaround for him, when he met this wonderful wonderful woman. At the same time I overheard his gf talking to my gf, and from what I could understand, it was a totally different story, and I got it confirmed later on. 

 

So, I guess happiness is just for some, and not all. They still together a year after, but she continue to move out, and come back when i beg long enough. He still happy thow when I see him, and due to his own statement. 

From his point of view, it is a good exchange. Low cost and a young lady. From her point of view, maybe financial trade off ain’t that great and the sex life may not even be exciting... so she may even be on the lookout for a new bf while still hanging around the guy. The guy just had to be introspective if the relationship ends sooner than expected. It was good while it last. 

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Interesting posts, whether fact or fiction from all ,especially those with great live expectations when already in their 70’s and 80’s. This proves that Thailand is still a great place for living life in your later years. I am already almost 60 years old so reading about all those people with a great lifestyle choice in ther autumn years is a great inspiration to emulate. Thanks for sharing . 

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When i started this thread it was just a whim ,idid not really expect to many replies ,but its been so interesting reading them, its good to hear that so many of us are married to ordinary nice Thai women ,i have always said that they are just like any other women ,some good some bad, same as us.

Sent from my SM-A720F using Thailand Forum - Thaivisa mobile app

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3 hours ago, ivor bigun said:

When i started this thread it was just a whim ,idid not really expect to many replies ,but its been so interesting reading them, its good to hear that so many of us are married to ordinary nice Thai women ,i have always said that they are just like any other women ,some good some bad, same as us.

Sent from my SM-A720F using Thailand Forum - Thaivisa mobile app
 

It's always a mixed bag when it comes to relationships.

I hooked up with my Thai wife over 20 year ago. Has she given me grief? OMG yes! Then again ask her the same question and I'm pretty sure you'd get a similar answer....except with Thai female screaming.

I'm still best of friends with my ex wife, and weirdly when me and my current Thai wife visit California we stay in her house with new husband.

Life is pretty complicated, but it often has a way of working itself out.

My Thai son ended up going to college in Chicago, where my eldest daughter lived at the time. She basically coached him through college, and as women often do, just beat him into shape and got him through graduation.

After that he followed her to Denver where she got him a job in her company.

They ended up buying a house together. 

Now My daughter & her boyfriend have one floor, my Thai son and girlfriend have the other floor. 

 

I could not be happier how this all panned out. The universe sometimes spins in odd ways!

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I’m 41 now and if I died tomorrow I wouldn’t be disappointed tbh

I feel that I’ve lived my life in my teens and have experienced a huge amount, good and bad and I did everything to the absolute maximum I could. 

 

I had a rough childhood (by my standards). Broken home, violent dad, rough brother and no real dircectiin. Lucky I had a super mom. 

Started clubbing and drinking at 14. Decent but not oustsvduhg student. Morbidly obese by 23. 

 

A work life consisting of supermarkets, retail, fast food, truck driving, night clubs and whatever. 

Party drugs, fast cars, faster women and general shenanigans. OD’d once, arrested twice (charged and bailed) and a few pretty serious car accidents. 

 

Generally no direction until at the age of 27 I went bsck to school, requalified, got a trade and moved to the city. 

 

Within 5 years I was making in excess of $150Kaud a year, travelling the world, getting married and purchased my first home. 

 

Then em I had an almost life ending accident. Coma, 4 months in hospital and life long disabilities. No longer able to work, split with my fiancée and nearly lost my house. 

 

Now im living in Pattaya and life is absolutely fantastic. It’s been a tough road at times but I absolutely wouldn’t change a single day, even the awful ones when I didn’t know if I was dead or alive. 

 

Life is absolutely what you what you make it whether you’re 100% healthy or not. It sure beats the alternative 

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On 1/28/2019 at 10:24 PM, Pharoticus said:

This. Perfect. Very true.

 

There are lots of idiots on these forums who talk too much about how ideal their lives are. And therein of course lies the truth.

 

If you have a life worth calling a life, you certainly won't discuss it with anonymous strangers on the internet.

That kind of defeats the purpose of social media doesn’t it? 

Whether true or not it’s a great outlet for people. It can be lifesaving at best, just a rubbish dribble at worst but mostly in between. 

While I respect your opinion I do think it’s wrong 

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To the OP. Great post! I’ve nevee seen so much positivity from nearly all commenters on a thread in TV. It’s actuslly quite heart warming. 
Great job!
Thanks,as i said i did it on a whim,i have had quite a good and very very varied life,and was just interested.

Sent from my SM-A720F using Thailand Forum - Thaivisa mobile app

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4 hours ago, MadMuhammad said:

That kind of defeats the purpose of social media doesn’t it? 

Whether true or not it’s a great outlet for people. It can be lifesaving at best, just a rubbish dribble at worst but mostly in between. 

While I respect your opinion I do think it’s wrong 

Yes, social media can be a great outlet for lonely, socially disenfranchised people. Examples:

 

1. Here's what I had for breakfast

2. Here's the latest photo of my cat

3. See how I've just re-decorated my wall!!

 

Loneliness. There are lots of very lonely westerners in Thailand. And very many of them exist in states of denial.

 

 

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if you are in Thailand, you probably didn't have a good life.  the stigma of being a sex tourist, drunk, no money......it probably wears on a lot of people.  nobody back home will respect you, unless you give them money to be quiet.  you don't speak Thai, so good friends are limited.  i would never retire here, but i like to visit, have fun, go home.  but when everyone asks, 'oh, are you a sex tourist?'  it's funny.   and the air pollution will kill you, and the roads will kill you....so if you had a good life, why not be in a better place?  couldn't have been that good, you just lowered your life standards.   i'm not old enough to be bitter...it's funny to me.  but i feel bad for the delusional jokers.  

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On 1/28/2019 at 9:20 PM, grollies said:

So you really rubbed his nose in it then? 

Some people have good lives yet complain all the time. Some have crap lives but are still happy.

 

So the key to happiness is low standards. Put that in a book.

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24 minutes ago, Pharoticus said:

Yes, social media can be a great outlet for lonely, socially disenfranchised people. Examples:

 

1. Here's what I had for breakfast

2. Here's the latest photo of my cat

3. See how I've just re-decorated my wall!!

 

Loneliness. There are lots of very lonely westerners in Thailand. And very many of them exist in states of denial.

 

 

Millions of lonely old people in western countries sitting in retirement homes or living by themselves.

 

Some cultures look after the elders but lots of westerners don't.

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