Thai lady / girlfriend, is she? maybe?

[Jack19290]

5 minutes ago, Mai Mee Tang said:

Once I met one Thai girl in Bangkok, small and cute, the type of girl most Thais like, she was working on a bar at Sukhumvit, but a different kind of bar, you just need to drink something once you get in and there are plenty of freelancers to choose from, most of customers at that place were asian guys.

Anyway, the important part is what she told me: she was making around 100.000 to 140.000 bahts per month working most of the nights, she told me she was saving to build a new house for her family and another one for her, after that she would quit and go back to her village, at least this was her plan at that time. One day a young American guy, under his thirty I would say, fell in love with her and offered to send her 30.000 bahts per month so she could stop working and be his girlfriend. She told me he was really cute and she could feel he loved her, still she plainly declined the offer as it wasn't enough money for her purpose and plans.

I don't think she was a bad girl at all, in fact she gave me really good advice and helped me understand much more about this kind of lifestyle many girls in Thailand choose.

In regards your case, take it easy, keep on knowing each other and take only the decisions you feel comfortable with, whatever it comes from there no one knows. There is a lot of good advice on this thread from more experienced people, although most of the times people doesn't learn from other's experience.

I take what you said on board and will 100% listen, like I said i don't be sending money unless she goes home and if she doesn't I don't mind speaking with her and seeing her over FaceTime and seeing her when I go out there. 

[sanemax]

1 hour ago, Jack19290 said:

I could pay 20,000 baht a month to her and still be comfortable however anymore than that and it would effect my comfortable life at home lol 

 

 

Thats 500 Pounds per month , 6000 a year , plus your trips to Thailand to see her .

You would b looking at 10 000 GBP per year .

100 000 quid in the next ten years 

[Jack19290]

3 minutes ago, sanemax said:

Thats 500 Pounds per month , 6000 a year , plus your trips to Thailand to see her .

You would b looking at 10 000 GBP per year .

100 000 quid in the next ten years 

Like I said in my previous post, any more than this and it would effect my life at home but this is doable for me.

[473geo]

You must not try and inflict your ideas on the girl, listen to what she says and perhaps read between the lines, maybe she is happy away from the farm, going back could be disappointing for her, and, destroy her sense of independence. In which case you are going to have to build/develop an awful lot of trust! Can be done but far from easy!

 

You are choosing a difficult path, make no mistake. Good luck, hope it works out. 

In the main try to have fun, create some enjoyable experiences to look back on, just in case true love ends up arriving later at another platform.

[Jack19290]

2 minutes ago, 473geo said:

You must not try and inflict your ideas on the girl, listen to what she says and perhaps read between the lines, maybe she is happy away from the farm, going back could be disappointing for her, and, destroy her sense of independence. In which case you are going to have to build/develop an awful lot of trust! Can be done but far from easy!

 

You are choosing a difficult path, make no mistake. Good luck, hope it works out. 

In the main try to have fun, create some enjoyable experiences to look back on, just in case true love ends up arriving later at another platform.

Thank you but how do we create memorable moments when we are so far away from each other lol 

 

How do I accept that she could possibly be with other men at night while I'm working at home, it's very weird I have no idea on weather she will be with a man or not so the trust is easily broken.

Edited March 2, 2019 by Jack19290

[Tony125]

7 hours ago, Jack19290 said:

This is a bit weird, I offered her 10,000 baht a month for her to go home back to Isaan with her mum but she declined saying I don't want your money and I don't want to move to the uk. I want to provide for myself and I want to see if you have a good heart in the coming months. What do I say to that? Another trick or plan?

1. OP you seem to be a Troll as your English doesn't seem as good as some Thai girls I know.

2. You do seem like a Cheap Charlie or exaggerate your wealth. If you were a nice guy and cared for the girl why wouldn't you send her some money to help out since it is not difficult for you and I am sure you are aware that regular girls say in Malls only get about $10 a day (10,000 baht a month) and anything you sent would help a lot.

3. You say you now offered her 10,000 baht a month to leave the bar and stay home in Issan. She said no because she can make a lot more than that working the bar. Or 10,000 baht from you and still working bar would be a nice income. Knew a girl from Hooters in Pattaya do that till the guy married her and took her to Florida , USA.

4. Most Thai think Thailand is the best country in the world and really don't want to move overseas especially somewhere damp and cold like the UK. Hell even Brits leave UK to come live/visit warm Thailand. The girls usually return to Thailand after awhile or when their husbands retire.

5. Grow up, spend some money/time with her see how things work out. Just don't invest all your income here and if things work out fine, if not oh well a learning experience.

[473geo]

16 minutes ago, Jack19290 said:

Thank you but how do we create memorable moments when we are so far away from each other lol 

 

How do I accept that she could possibly be with other men at night while I'm working at home, it's very weird I have no idea on weather she will be with a man or not so the trust is easily broken.

That's the difficult part, because if her leading her own life is what you fear already, your imagination could well get in the way of reality, alternatively become reality!!

You create the memorable moments when you are together, and, accept when apart, at least for now, you remain friends but individuals, if that is what is required.

Edited March 2, 2019 by 473geo

[Jack19290]

26 minutes ago, Tony125 said:

1. OP you seem to be a Troll as your English doesn't seem as good as some Thai girls I know.

2. You do seem like a Cheap Charlie or exaggerate your wealth. If you were a nice guy and cared for the girl why wouldn't you send her some money to help out since it is not difficult for you and I am sure you are aware that regular girls say in Malls only get about $10 a day (10,000 baht a month) and anything you sent would help a lot.

3. You say you now offered her 10,000 baht a month to leave the bar and stay home in Issan. She said no because she can make a lot more than that working the bar. Or 10,000 baht from you and still working bar would be a nice income. Knew a girl from Hooters in Pattaya do that till the guy married her and took her to Florida , USA.

4. Most Thai think Thailand is the best country in the world and really don't want to move overseas especially somewhere damp and cold like the UK. Hell even Brits leave UK to come live/visit warm Thailand. The girls usually return to Thailand after awhile or when their husbands retire.

5. Grow up, spend some money/time with her see how things work out. Just don't invest all your income here and if things work out fine, if not oh well a learning experience.

1. My English is fine, I am on a Samsung phone and I hate it. My iPhone is with the insurance company at the moment.

 

2. My salary is fine, it's a good income. I can't prove it to you but why should I send my hard earned money if this girl is having sex with other men, that is my problem.

 

3. I could consider sending money to her if she worked in a hotel or somewhere not related to the sex industry.

 

4. I would love to live in thailand but my job won't be effective over there, what could I possibly do over there to earn what I earn over here, it might even be impossible. I am looking to open a restaurant out there, maybe, but it would cost about £100,000 and I wont have anyone to help me money wise or visa wise etc... And it could ruin my whole life if it doesn't work out.

 

5. I am spending time with her and I paid for everything when I was there like food lol and some other stuff which I haven't said on the forum ????

Edited March 2, 2019 by Jack19290

[catman20]

8 hours ago, marcusarelus said:

Klaus Schweikert, Richard Gere,  J. Howard Marshall II

Klaus Schweikert, 

Austrian millionaire is left penniless when prostitute he married flees ...

J. Howard Marshall II  he married 26-year-old model Anna Nicole Smith. 

Richard Gere that was in the movies.

 

now do you see my point !

[Longcut]

On 3/2/2019 at 3:54 AM, Jack19290 said:

Okay I understand, I won't send her any more money. I paid for her passport which was my idea that was all, nothing else.

 

If she asks for money I will drop her as quick as I picked her up but do I not carry on talking to her just to see if she asks for money or not, at least till then? I mean I'm curious to see if she asks for money now ???? she most likely will but wouldn't you lot like to know in about 10 days if she asked or not? like I'll update you guys ?????

 

 

Just so you know. She has a better chance of having lunch with the Pope than getting a visa to visit you in the UK.

[Captain 776]

Don’t walk.......run and RUN AS FAST AS YOU CAN.

 

2 things you better listen to when in Thailand.

 

play with all the girls you desire at the bar, but NEVER and I mean NEVER get involved with one.

Meeting your love at a bar has a 99% failure rate and some of the fails are extremely bad and can be dangerous to your health.

 

If a Thai girl tells you anything related to Mom died, Dad died, the wate buffalo died and now Dad can’t plant his rice, Mom and Dad have no electric and I am trying to earn money to help them get electric service, or I will love you but we must send 15,000, 25,000, and I have seen guys give girls 50,000 a month for “ their parents” .

Any version of you must give me money every month, start running, as soon as the money stops she will be gone.

 

Never go to her village where she is from, you will pay for a BIG party in your honor, it will be very expensive, and all her broken down relatives will be there plus people that are not relatives, you will hear every sob story in the book how this poor lady needs money, look at my poor uncle, do you think you can give him 10 or 20 thousand BHAT.

 

You need to read a Stephen Leathers book Private Dancer then multiply that by 10.

 

YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED~!!!

 

Take a girl from a bar, it will end in disaster.

[Sydebolle]

Wait ....... let me get the pop corn, thank you! 

[AGareth2]

life is a journey

enjoy the ride

[Kadilo]

14 minutes ago, Captain 776 said:

Don’t walk.......run and RUN AS FAST AS YOU CAN.

 

2 things you better listen to when in Thailand.

 

play with all the girls you desire at the bar, but NEVER and I mean NEVER get involved with one.

Meeting your love at a bar has a 99% failure rate and some of the fails are extremely bad and can be dangerous to your health.

 

If a Thai girl tells you anything related to Mom died, Dad died, the wate buffalo died and now Dad can’t plant his rice, Mom and Dad have no electric and I am trying to earn money to help them get electric service, or I will love you but we must send 15,000, 25,000, and I have seen guys give girls 50,000 a month for “ their parents” .

Any version of you must give me money every month, start running, as soon as the money stops she will be gone.

 

Never go to her village where she is from, you will pay for a BIG party in your honor, it will be very expensive, and all her broken down relatives will be there plus people that are not relatives, you will hear every sob story in the book how this poor lady needs money, look at my poor uncle, do you think you can give him 10 or 20 thousand BHAT.

 

You need to read a Stephen Leathers book Private Dancer then multiply that by 10.

 

YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED~!!!

 

Take a girl from a bar, it will end in disaster.

Yawn.......got stung did you? Can you fit in a few more cliches from the book while you’re at it. 

 

Edited March 3, 2019 by Kadilo

[Farang99]

She will provid me with the proof of the passport which should be newly registered and last 10 years. She did show me that it cost 1,000 baht. I mean she could have said 2/3/5,000 baht right?

 

Thai passports only last 5 years

[BTB1977]

She sounds like a keeper. But this whole I don't pay for anything has got to stop. If you don't start supporting her very soon she will move to the next guy and you will lose out of the best thing to ever happen to you. You need to have a talk with her to find out how much she needs to get her out of that bar and out fast. How many more men do you want having there way with her??? You have to save her from a bad life and take care of her and her family . 

[Kadilo]

Incidentally that book should of been called “please send me some money for stating the <deleted> obvious”.......and they think Bar Girls are ripping them off. 

[Spidey]

16 minutes ago, Captain 776 said:

You need to read a Stephen Leathers book Private Dancer then multiply that by 10.

So you read the book and joined Thai Visa. Try visiting Thailand sometime and finding out what it's really like. You won't learn anything reading a novel.

[Kadilo]

5 hours ago, Jack19290 said:

1. My English is fine, I am on a Samsung phone and I hate it. My iPhone is with the insurance company at the moment.

 

2. My salary is fine, it's a good income. I can't prove it to you but why should I send my hard earned money if this girl is having sex with other men, that is my problem.

 

3. I could consider sending money to her if she worked in a hotel or somewhere not related to the sex industry.

 

4. I would love to live in thailand but my job won't be effective over there, what could I possibly do over there to earn what I earn over here, it might even be impossible. I am looking to open a restaurant out there, maybe, but it would cost about £100,000 and I wont have anyone to help me money wise or visa wise etc... And it could ruin my whole life if it doesn't work out.

 

5. I am spending time with her and I paid for everything when I was there like food lol and some other stuff which I haven't said on the forum ????

3. If she stays anywhere like Phuket, Pattaya or any other tourist destination with Sex for sale then she will probably end up freelancing irrespective of what job she claims she is doing. 

 

Youre only hope hope if you’re geninely interested in a relationship with her is for her to go back home and for you to take care of her and in all honesty it doesn’t sound like either of you  are ready for that. Therefore you see how things go which ultimately means you will have to accept that she will be shagging other men as and when, and either deal with it or move on.

 

Forget  all this crap posted around girls wanting 30,000. + to go home and having to save face etc,  If she’s genuine and really wants to be at home with her family she will grab the opportunity once she’s happy that you are genuine. If she’s a gold digger looking for short term injection of cash she will decline and keep working. Once she has been indoctrinated into the Bar scene and earning well,  in a relatively small amount of time your chances are slim of having any kind of normal relationship. 

 

If you are the type of person who wants a committed relationship without any financial commitment then you are kidding yourself. 

 

 

Edited March 3, 2019 by Kadilo

[Olmate]

6 hours ago, Jack19290 said:

1. My English is fine, I am on a Samsung phone and I hate it. My iPhone is with the insurance company at the moment.

 

2. My salary is fine, it's a good income. I can't prove it to you but why should I send my hard earned money if this girl is having sex with other men, that is my problem.

 

3. I could consider sending money to her if she worked in a hotel or somewhere not related to the sex industry.

 

4. I would love to live in thailand but my job won't be effective over there, what could I possibly do over there to earn what I earn over here, it might even be impossible. I am looking to open a restaurant out there, maybe, but it would cost about £100,000 and I wont have anyone to help me money wise or visa wise etc... And it could ruin my whole life if it doesn't work out.

 

5. I am spending time with her and I paid for everything when I was there like food lol and some other stuff which I haven't said on the forum ????

Let’s know her name and which bar ,I’ll call in and see how she,s doing! Promise I won’t give her any money too, just like you.Crikey pal what planet you on?

[bkk6060]

11 hours ago, sanemax said:

Prostitute? Its a statement of fact , rather than a term of abuse

I have usually been told they are cashier.  So no problem.:)

[NanLaew]

1 hour ago, Sydebolle said:

Wait ....... let me get the pop corn, thank you! 

It's page 18 already. The popcorn sold out ages ago.

 

What kept you BTW?

[Spidey]

As the Op hasn't definitely confirmed that he has actually done the dirty deed with the girl, the possibility always remains that she's a ladyboy.

[NanLaew]

7 minutes ago, bkk6060 said:

I have usually been told they are cashier.  So no problem.:)

That's still somewhat imprecise IMHO. It needs the full job description of "Only cashier - no go with customer. Ching-ching."

[NanLaew]

5 minutes ago, Spidey said:

As the Op hasn't definitely confirmed that he has actually done the dirty deed with the girl, the possibility always remains that she's a ladyboy.

I see your game. You're trying to get this thread back up to speed and maybe get +25 pages, no?

Edited March 3, 2019 by NanLaew

[NanLaew]

1 hour ago, Spidey said:

So you read the book and joined Thai Visa. Try visiting Thailand sometime and finding out what it's really like. You won't learn anything reading a novel.

...especially a crap one like 'Private Dancer'

[holy cow cm]

11 hours ago, Jack19290 said:

,17 pages less than 24 hours lol 

Looks that way. The Thai news is dangerous to post about now with the new cyber laws. Although the content in the 17 pages is defaming and condescending of a Thai if ever read by an official. Just that alone could be deemed against national security, the security of tourism. Besides, everyone thinks they are a bar Romeo here knowing everything having the best advice. I certainly over my 26 yrs had one big huge oops taking a Thai chick to the USA. It was a huge learning experience that actually crushed me, but I never trusted her from the beginning. My feelings superseded that letting stupidity rule.. Oh well.

 

Nothing ventured nothing gained, even if it is a failure.

 

Keep on your path and see where you end up. The hard point many are saying is that when you are away, then what is happening, and normally those suspicions are true, as if not like a revolving door then there will be the occasional romp ( 52 weeks in a year). Many of nice girls like you explain like she is are out there and they actually can remain nice, but many who still remain nice pick up some small to big demons that they need to shake or deal with to suppress. She doesn't sound hardcore, so check it back out in 2 months or less when you come back. 
you have nothing to lose, except not going for it and always wondering if you should have.. 

 

[HighPriority]

12 hours ago, Lacessit said:

We all know what is said about opinions. It would be interesting to get hard data on farang/Thai relationships w.r.to success/failure ratios. I suspect the noise made by the failures tends to drown out the quiet successes.

Speaking personally, the better my relationship the less time I have to spend in places like this...

[HighPriority]

12 hours ago, Jack19290 said:

I'm the OP lol

He does know that Jack ????????

[strabel23]

12 hours ago, Jack19290 said:

I am 27 and she is 24, I am very healthy and speak 3 lauganges and learning my 4th which is thai. 

 

I have a decent job for my age and a very good salary. I offered for her to go home to her mum and I send her 10,000 baht a month plus 20,000 extra every 6 months. This would not effect my salary or life the least hence why I came up with these figures.

 

Unfortunately she declined saying she doesn't want my money and wants to see if I have a good heart while we FaceTime and chat over messages.

 

????

Ask her why she can't accept your support and go home to her mum and spend time getting to know you to see if you have a good heart? Then ask her what she is going to do during your getting to know each other via FaceTime and chat? If she is not willing to accept your money and leave the bar scene then she is probably not worth it. Tell her if she is still going to work the bar scene you don't feel good about that. If she really is sincere and wants a relationship with you then she will do as you ask. If she still declines then she is more interested in finding a bigger fish while you are still on the hook.