Why do TVF Expats so dislike other expats?

[Samui Bodoh]

Hi All

 

I have been a member of TVF for several years now, and I am still a bit shocked at the low opinion that TVF members have of other TVF members in particular and other Thai expats in general.

 

Over the years, I have read here that other expats are 'criminals', the 'dregs of society', 'negative', 'prone to break the law', the 'worst of the worst', 'Thai-bashers', 'leeches', 'low-life from other countries who couldn't make it at home', Etc, Etc, Etc; I could probably fill an entire book with all the vitriol.

 

Why is this?

 

Personally, I am both well-educated and well-off (or, at least well-off enough) and I don't break any laws or cause trouble; objectively-speaking I am the kind of immigrant countries want. I don't really know of any law-breaking on the part of my friends and/or acquaintances. I don't really know of any of my friends and/or acquaintances treating their wives/GFs badly, even when they don't have the best of a relationship. I don't really know of any of my friends and/or acquaintances causing trouble or disrupting Thai society, yet they (and all expats) get slammed on TVF regularly. Yes, there is the occasional miscreant, but I have read that there are over 100,000 foreigners living in Thailand, so you have to expect a few, but not to the level sprinkled through TVF.

 

Is it the anonymity afforded by TVF to slag off other people? A human desire to lash out at others without a good reason? The ability to speak without consequence? The lack of visual, discernible reaction(s)? The fulfillment of one's day-dreams to 'give someone hell'? Am I simply not meeting the bad ones? Is it simply me, or do others see the glee in people's words when they are attacking others? Do you personally know some of these 'law-breakers' and/or 'bad people'?

 

My view is that Thailand's expats are generally well-off, well-behaved, cause few problems, and are (for the most part) an asset to the Kingdom.

 

Agree? Disagree? Why? 

 

[BritManToo]

20 minutes ago, Samui Bodoh said:

My view is that Thailand's expats are generally well-off, well-behaved, cause few problems, and are (for the most part) an asset to the Kingdom.

Most of the ones I've met appear to be mentally ill, or desperate and trying to steal/borrow money off me.

I also don't want to meet their wives, who are clearly only in it for the money, after the inevitable happens, it' in some way my fault (don't meet any wives is a better choice, don't let other foreigners meet your wife either)

 

Why have you told me lies about seeing my wife with another man!

Why didn't you tell me my wife was with another man?

Why don't you want my wife meeting your wife?

 

As a result, I stopped telling anyone my address, or handing out my phone number after the first year I was here. I don't wish anyone harm, but I don't want them to get too close either or be in a position to harm me.

 

PS.

I'm a drunk, take drugs, hire hookers, but am fully financed, best off not mixing with the likes of me.

Edited March 10, 2019 by BritManToo

[marcusarelus]

I was sitting in a bar having a beer.  An expat that I'd seen before bought the bartender a drink.  She took out a bottle and poured herself a shot and drank it and added 150 baht to the guys bill.  He went on for 30 minutes that the liquid in the bottle was not booze and he'd been ripped off. 

 

I'd had a drink from the same bottle an hour before and it was Thai whiskey.  I knew the bartender for 5 years and she was a nice lady and never ripped off anyone.  I'd only slept with her once so it wasn't an emotional attachment. 

 

The guy was a jerk who thought he knew something about Thai women but he had not a clue. 

 

I find for the most part expats are jerks and I walk to the other side of the street to avoid them. 

Edited March 10, 2019 by marcusarelus

[sanemax]

1 minute ago, marcusarelus said:

I was sitting in a bar having a beer.  An expat that I'd seen before bought the bartender a drink.  She took out a bottle and poured herself a shot and drank it and added 150 baht to the guys bill.  He went on for 30 minutes that the liquid in the bottle was not booze and he'd been ripped off. 

 

I'd had a drink from the same bottle an hour before and it was Thai whiskey.  I knew the bartender for 5 years and she was a nice lady and never ripped off anyone.  I'd only slept with her once so it wasn't an emotional attachment. 

 

The guy was a jerk who thought he knew something about Thai women but he had not a clue. 

 

I find for the most part expats are jerks and I walk to the other side of the street to avoid them. 

They usually have two identical bottles side by side , one with alcohol and the other with water , the "jerk" was probably right about getting ripped off

[Samui Bodoh]

5 minutes ago, marcusarelus said:

I was sitting in a bar having a beer.  An expat that I'd seen before bought the bartender a drink.  She took out a bottle and poured herself a shot and drank it and added 150 baht to the guys bill.  He went on for 30 minutes that the liquid in the bottle was not booze and he'd been ripped off. 

 

I'd had a drink from the same bottle an hour before and it was Thai whiskey.  I knew the bartender for 5 years and she was a nice lady and never ripped off anyone.  I'd only slept with her once so it wasn't an emotional attachment. 

 

The guy was a jerk who thought he knew something about Thai women but he had not a clue. 

 

I find for the most part expats are jerks and I walk to the other side of the street to avoid them. 

I am genuinely NOT trying to have a go at you, but aren't you one of "them"?

 

If not, how are you different?

 

 

[baansgr]

Once guys get loved up with their tirak that is different from all the other tarts for sale they feel above themselves, change their whole life story....its toyland

[Essex Reject]

8 minutes ago, marcusarelus said:

I was sitting in a bar having a beer.  An expat that I'd seen before bought the bartender a drink.  She took out a bottle and poured herself a shot and drank it and added 150 baht to the guys bill.  He went on for 30 minutes that the liquid in the bottle was not booze and he'd been ripped off. 

 

I'd had a drink from the same bottle an hour before and it was Thai whiskey.  I knew the bartender for 5 years and she was a nice lady and never ripped off anyone.  I'd only slept with her once so it wasn't an emotional attachment. 

 

The guy was a jerk who thought he knew something about Thai women but he had not a clue. 

 

I find for the most part expats are jerks and I walk to the other side of the street to avoid them. 

I would have no doubt a lot of people avoid you too 'dude'

[Spidey]

You get it even more if you declare that you live in Pattaya. If you are British and live in Pattaya, you must be the scum of the earth.

 

I am in a similar situation to you with a wife, son and nice house, yet I still get labelled in the way you describe.

 

Primarily, the vitriol is from people who are unhappy with their own lives, for one reason or another, and take their frustrations out on their keyboards within the safety of the forum's anonymity. They use it to elevate their low self esteem by pretending to be holier than thou, superior to others. I guarantee that if you met them personally, they would be meek and mild and not say anything to your face, such as they do on this forum.

 

If you met them, you, being a normal reasonable person and happy with your life, would pity them. The internet is full of sad little puppies such as you describe.

[beachproperty]

I happen to have to exact opposite experience....I have lived here for 18 years and most of the expats I've met are either low lifes or appear to be deranged. Of course there are the few expats who are pleasant to be around and I enjoy my time with them.

Edited March 10, 2019 by beachproperty

[Spaniel]

9 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

Most of the ones I've met appear to be mentally ill, or desperate and trying to steal money off me.

I also don't want to meet their wives, who are clearly only in it for the money, then when the inevitable happens, they either accuse me of telling them lies, or not telling them the truth (you can't win so best never to meet the women) As a result, I stopped telling anyone my address, or handing out my phone number after the first year I was here.

Let me guess.   You spend most of your time in bars?    Because the type of people you described are exactly the type of losers that you will  find in those areas.    My suggestion is to find a different source for meeting people.

[BritManToo]

5 minutes ago, Spaniel said:

Let me guess.   You spend most of your time in bars?

I sit at home, employ a gf, do a bit of gardening and cooking, play with my children, watch tv, occasionally go hiking or cycling with a group.

Last time I was in a bar was about 6 weeks back (Loi Krow) when a pal from the UK visited and wanted to see hookers and gogo bars. I prefer to drink alone, where I have no transport problems, and nobody is pestering me for free drinks.

Edited March 10, 2019 by BritManToo

[Spaniel]

2 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

I sit at home, drink at home, do a bit of gardening and cooking, occasionally go hiking or cycling with a group.

Last time I was in a bar was about 6 weeks back (Loi Krow) when a pal from the UK visited and wanted to see hookers and gogo bars.

So where are you running into all these losers?

[mauGR1]

5 minutes ago, Samui Bodoh said:

I am genuinely NOT trying to have a go at you, but aren't you one of "them"?

 

If not, how are you different?

 

 

Don't be too harsh, everybody think that they are better than others, apparently we are wired that way..

.. Only, some haven't realised it yet.

[Lacessit]

Like the OP, I'm a bit baffled by the constant denigration. No-one I know has tried to con me or borrow money from me. I'm in a good relationship with my Thai GF.

Perhaps it is a matter of where people go. I would expect to encounter a few low-lifes in bars, which is why I can't be bothered with bars anymore.

I play golf. It's a good way of assessing people one plays with. I get the very occasional a###hole, but most are gentlemen.

[Nyezhov]

Im going to be perfectly honest. I am a equal opportunity xenophobe to all the various nations, religions, ethnic origins, races, creeds, sexes and whatever as I have something to say about everybody in general. I really dont like people as a whole, however, individuals are OK, even if they possess the bad qualities of their tribe. If anybody wants, I can start with Albanians. Perhaps a Topic:

 

Your Ultimate NonPC Guide to the Various Nations of the World

 ...wherein your author succinctly and nonmaliciously gives a thumbnail sketch of the nations,

races, religions and peoples of the world, with particular emphasis on their recognizable characteristics that demonstrate beyond any shadow of a doubt that the world is infested with aishhewls and no one group of silly yahoos is better than the others, with illustrations by the author.

 

Thus I dont associate with a lot of people. Nobody is cool enough, and if they were and wanted to associate with me, I would slag them off as I wouldnt want to hang with someone who has the disgustingly poor taste to like me.

 

 

Edited March 10, 2019 by Nyezhov

[55Jay]

Just now, Nyezhov said:

Im going to be perfectly honest. I am a equal opportunity xenophobe to all the various nations, religions, ethnic origins, races, creeds, sexes and whatever as I have something to say about everybody in general. I really dont like people as a whole, however, individuals are OK, even if they possess the bad qualities of their tribe. If anybody wants, I can start with Albanians. Perhaps a Topic:

 

Your Ultimate NonPC Guide to the Various Nations of the World

 ...wherein your author succinctly and nonmaliciously gives a thumbnail sketch of the nations,

races, religions and peoples of the world, with particular emphasis on their recognizable characteristics that demonstrate beyond any shadow of a doubt that the world is infested with aishhewls and no one group of silly yahoos is better than the others, with illustrations by the author.

 

Thus I dont associate with a lot of people. Nobody is cool enough, and if they were and wanted to associate with me, I would slag them off as I wouldnt want to hang with someone who has the disgustly poor taste to like me.

Following Spidey's rationale above ^, are you the same in person as you are here?  I've always enjoyed your sharp, sometimes wicked but fun sense of humor.

[brokenbone]

the negativity on tvf is legendary,

but even on the streets, i dont have actually any

more ties to other expats then i do thais,

and why should i ?

[Nyezhov]

Just now, 55Jay said:

Following Spidey's rationale above ^, are you the same in person as you are here?  I've always enjoyed your sharp, sometimes wicked but fun sense of humor.

Ja, ja dude what you see is what you get, Im just a drooling fat old wierdo stoner. Want to hear some jokes about Sicilian Grandmothers?

[jvs]

25 minutes ago, marcusarelus said:

He went on for 30 minutes that the liquid in the bottle was not booze and he'd been ripped off. 

No matter what was in the bottle,he bought her a drink and he has to pay for it!!He should have learned a lesson and leave it at that.

[Pilotman]

I have a few Expat acquaintances, I would not call them friends, as I choose those wisely, but they are nice people living normal lives, all with successful marriages to Thai ladies. It all depends who you mix with, or don't not mix with.  I have no time for bars, bar girls, massage shops and big Cities like Pattaya Phuket and Bangkok, and the people that spend their life in them, so that rules out an awful lot of people on TV.   I outgrew that type of life as I passed my early twenties.  There are a few people I see posting on TV that are prepared to give out useful information and that are very helpful to other members, Ubonjoe for instance.  These people make using TV very worthwhile.  But there  are also a lot of cynics here, who take great delight in putting other people down and making their sarcastic jibes at everyone and everything.  They must be very unhappy people. But that is no different to many social media platforms, they all have those type of people using them to degrade others.  You would avoid these people in real life like the plague, but TV gives them an anonymous outlet to vent their bile at every opportunity and they are hard to avoid. Some times, it's very difficult not to respond in kind to their jibes, but of course, that is what they are after.  Best just to ignore them and read and post the good stuff.  

[HLover]

22 minutes ago, sanemax said:

They usually have two identical bottles side by side , one with alcohol and the other with water , the "jerk" was probably right about getting ripped off

One bottle is labeled Jack Daniels and the other Jerk Daniels appropriately.

[Lacessit]

1 minute ago, Nyezhov said:

Im going to be perfectly honest. I am a equal opportunity xenophobe to all the various nations, religions, ethnic origins, races, creeds, sexes and whatever as I have something to say about everybody in general. I really dont like people as a whole, however, individuals are OK, even if they possess the bad qualities of their tribe. If anybody wants, I can start with Albanians. Perhaps a Topic:

 

Your Ultimate NonPC Guide to the Various Nations of the World

 ...wherein your author succinctly and nonmaliciously gives a thumbnail sketch of the nations,

races, religions and peoples of the world, with particular emphasis on their recognizable characteristics that demonstrate beyond any shadow of a doubt that the world is infested with aishhewls and no one group of silly yahoos is better than the others, with illustrations by the author.

 

Thus I dont associate with a lot of people. Nobody is cool enough, and if they were and wanted to associate with me, I would slag them off as I wouldnt want to hang with someone who has the disgustly poor taste to like me.

 

 

You're American. It is axiomatic your nation looks down on all others, ever since you made tea in Boston Harbour. Not very intelligently, good tea should be served hot.

Your last sentence is a rejigging of Groucho Marx's observation on clubs.

What I am about to say will upset you. I like you and your entertaining off the wall posts. Having said that, if we actually met face-to-face, we would probably find our egos mutually boring.

 

[HLover]

Juicy thread for the amateur psychology types out there.

[BritManToo]

10 minutes ago, jvs said:

No matter what was in the bottle,he bought her a drink and he has to pay for it!!He should have learned a lesson and leave it at that.

As my gf always says, buying a woman a drink in a bar is the start of negotiations for buying the woman for the night. In this case she charged 150bht, that's lady drink price for a hooker.

Edited March 10, 2019 by BritManToo

[55Jay]

TVF is entertainment - it says so right on the label.  Some take it way too seriously or treat it like a real "thing", a digital extension of who they are, think they are, or want to be, multiple accounts & aliases bordering on obsession. 

 

There are a few useful sub-forums where flippancy is more restrained.  Banking, real estate/DIY, Visas, to name a few, where people typically have real questions seeking real answers.  Lots of people bitch and moan about TVF, Moderation, etc.....  but on the whole, I think it's an outstanding resource we would be worse off without.

Edited March 10, 2019 by 55Jay

[Nyezhov]

8 minutes ago, Pilotman said:

V gives them an anonymous outlet to vent their bile at every opportunity and they are hard to avoid

Not to be a pedantic fat man, but its spew. The word is "spew" their bile. Venting and spewing are two different things..

 

Venting be like: Im so tired of Thailand, I just hate it, I think the Thais are all a bunch of dirty thieves, why the other day, I got shortchanged 2 baht for a Pepsi at 7-11, no white man would have done that, they hate falangs.......

 

Now a good spew be like: Im so <deleted> tired of Thailand, I just <deleted> hate it, I think the Thais are all a bunch of dirty  <deleted> and thieves, why the other day, I got shortchanged 2 baht by the <deleted> theiving piece of shit counter bitch for a Pepsi at 7-11, no white man would have done that, the <deleted> thais hate falangs, this <deleted> country should be just <deleted> bombed and rebuilt western style, what a bunch of <deleted> scumbag mother <deleted> jerkoff <deleted> <deleted>!.......

 

See the diff?

Edited March 10, 2019 by Nyezhov

[marcusarelus]

9 minutes ago, jvs said:

No matter what was in the bottle,he bought her a drink and he has to pay for it!!He should have learned a lesson and leave it at that.

Right on.  Whatever the lady wants to drink in her lady drink is her business.  The guy was a typical jerk wanting to get the woman drunk in hopes of getting a free something or other. 

[marcusarelus]

2 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

As my gf always says, buying a woman a drink in a bar is the start of negotiations for buying the woman for the night. In this case she charged 150bht, that's lady drink price for a hooker.

I never met a bartender at a bar full of hookers who was not for sale.  Or cashier.  Or doorman.  Or me for that matter.

[HLover]

2 minutes ago, marcusarelus said:

I never met a bartender at a bar full of hookers who was not for sale.  Or cashier.  Or doorman.  Or me for that matter.

How much is your barfine? Just for information of course.

Edited March 10, 2019 by HLover

[richard_smith237]

Posts #1 (OP) and #2 clearly outline the differences between us.. 

 

One poster is exposed to a certain ‘level’ and his experience is generally positive, his opinions of others reflect this, his posts tend not to be bitter and so negative, he has difficulty understanding why ‘some’ others are so bitter and twisted when generally everyone around him are pretty decent people. 

 

Another has been exposed to what may be considered a ‘sub-level’ of both Ex-Pat and Thai and his opinions reflect this, he may be considered a ‘gritty realist’ which in his circle is fair enough, he is highly cynical lacks the incentive and personality to rise to what many others consider normal, he has difficulty understanding and accepting why ‘some’ others never face the issues he has when he is surrounded by those who conform to his confirmation bias.

 

Neither poster is wrong, both posters are a product of the environment in which they have placed themselves.

Edited March 10, 2019 by richard_smith237