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Paying Thai girlfriend a "salary"


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On 4/4/2019 at 6:29 PM, baansgr said:

Everyone pays their Mrs a salary here, even those that swear blind they dont as they are Bangkok Chinese. Its the way of Thailand, hence why Im single. 50k is way too steep

seriously? how come I don't pay anything? You're definitely not funny and attractive as I am, or maybe you just had whores as mates.

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Many decent women for the OP in Thailand will never ask for a satang.

Yes they will expect you to be the economic leader in the relationship if you have higher incomes, you're the man.

Doctors and nurses, university professors, engineers.  You won't meet them in a bar never, maybe take up a hobby.

They are not "hot" like the chicks in a go-go, and you won't have a huge age difference with her

Nor do they have tattoos, smoke cigarettes, or bad the typical bad habits.

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Sorry guys: would you pay a salary to a girlfriend in europe or any other westernised country?
No!!!!!!!
but here in Thailand men seem to loose their little of brain comoletly!!!!!
 

Wrong comparison, if your girlfriend would live in a western country earning 250 USD per month and you would have a salary of 5000USD would you expect your girlfriend to continue a full time job?? Many relations fail because “western” men don’t get it that their Thai lady needs income to be able to support her family. I see this as something positive that I can contribute financially. Of course there are limits and this depends on the individual financial situation, only give what you can effort to lose.


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8 hours ago, Date Masamune said:

Many decent women for the OP in Thailand will never ask for a satang.

Yes they will expect you to be the economic leader in the relationship if you have higher incomes, you're the man.

Doctors and nurses, university professors, engineers.  You won't meet them in a bar never, maybe take up a hobby.

They are not "hot" like the chicks in a go-go, and you won't have a huge age difference with her

Nor do they have tattoos, smoke cigarettes, or bad the typical bad habits.

agree for the most part of your post,

but its 180 degree wrong on the hot part imo,

the bar girls has zero hot innit and arent attractive to me

 

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4 hours ago, luk AJ said:


Wrong comparison, if your girlfriend would live in a western country earning 250 USD per month and you would have a salary of 5000USD would you expect your girlfriend to continue a full time job?? Many relations fail because “western” men don’t get it that their Thai lady needs income to be able to support her family. I see this as something positive that I can contribute financially. Of course there are limits and this depends on the individual financial situation, only give what you can effort to lose.


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I lived with a stripper in Tampa who made $1000 a day and she still wanted money from me.  It is just the nature of the profession. 

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On 4/8/2019 at 11:54 AM, FarangOnTour said:

Plenty of them, all seeking marriage, child/children a joint 40 year mortgage in a residential area just above what we can comfortably afford ... all of which I can provide if the thought of slaving away for the next 40 years to pay for said mortgage and maintenance of wifes illusion of happiness didn't make me physically sick.

 

Would much rather a small, cheap pad in an Asian country and a more carefree life. [...]

 

????  Good, you're on track - work on it, be determined to do it.

 

[Note: Do not have children - at least not yet, not until you're sorted with this. Regardless of wife or mortgage, having children would change the picture, even if you earn a lot and/or get lucky with investments.]

Practice living frugally.  "Lifestyle" / lifestyle culture is the opposite of that goal.

Key thing is how you can maintain yourself, how you can get money. (The Thailand passport connection, would that get you a work permit or maybe be helpful with operating a small business legally?
Work skills/qualifications that let you work in foreign countries, or as "digital nomad," a big plus.
(I think you figured that out already.)
[Referring to that first paragraph again:] Yes, indeed. While the CoL increases, with inflation and taxes and so on. Whether or not your income increases. And that slaving away scene influences you to up the lifestyle - as in, "I might as well", to help you feel better about it, and you feel secure with the salary coming in every month.

 

On 4/8/2019 at 12:05 PM, FarangOnTour said:

[...] but for the cheap cost of living [...] and general sense of freedom in a society far less regulated than my own country (although, there may be downsides to this that I may not be able to see)

 

Of course, there are pro's and con's, you have to decide, like what is most important to you.
btw, I've come across several guys here who gave that as a major reason for moving to Thailand, rather than stay in Canada / Australia / California. As well as CoL and general cultural stuff.  Definitely many in SE Asia generally.

 

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second date with real job, car, etc uni grad gal. first date was after meeting at disco and spending night together.

 

she comes with female friend and we go to thai pub with live music. thai band starts playing beatles songs. girl asks me about songs. i tell her beatles. she never heard of beatles. i show her thai language wikipedia, still zero knowledge of beatles. just out of curiosity i ask her about famous bangkok thai venues, rca, tawandaeng, rajamkala stadium etc.  she never heard of them.

 

time for her to pay me a salary, teacher salary

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5 hours ago, RocketDog said:

I only read the first three pages of replies, and predictably they were a decent mix of humor and serious answers. But as others have said this is tried and true topic, but by no means irrelevant. 

 

I'll give you a serious answer from my own limited experience. 

 

I met a hard-working low-income girl from Phetchabun through a Thai friend. She worked 16 hour days in a small sidewalk bistro with her sister while caring for her bedridden mother by herself. Very decent large family who all have jobs and certainly no 'bar' experience and no debt except for her motorcycle. Her upbringing was crushing impoverishment and she knows the value of money. Married once to a Thai man for 19 years and divorced at 42, no kids and she doesn't regret that. .

 

She and her sister own a house they built and paid for jointly. She has always saved and spent her money well. Only a 6th grade education but knows right from wrong and is never moody or pessimistic like so many Thai women. When she occassionly becomes unhappy she just stops talking and it passes in a few hours; she detests conflict and simply won't let herself be unhappy. 

 

After a few months of dating I asked her to live with me and not work. She cleans, cooks, died the laundry, teaches me Thai, and is a constant always-happy companion who refuses to let life get her down. She takes very good care of me and is very sensitive to my moods. We've been together for two years but I get the impression she knows it could end any time. She figures she'll just carry on somehow I guess. We are more sexually compatible than any woman I've ever known in my 60+ years. In short, she's a diamond in the rough. 

 

I pay for everything in daily life including restaurants several times a week, periodic road trips just for fun at nice beaches and good hotels and restaurants. We go to the gym together, hit the beach several times a week, and enjoy each other's company. I got her a passport and we'll do some international travel soon. She's never been in an airplane or out of her country. She genuinely appreciates what I provide and knows she's got a good life now. 

 

I pay her ฿10,000/month and some extra when she visits her family. I never ask but suspect she funnels money to her siblings who can certainly use it as both her parents are dead. I earned large graces with her and her family by paying for her mother's funeral house, which was of course burned later. I buy her a baht of gold as a necklace or bracelet once a year on her birthday along with clothes (I like to see her dressed up) and cosmetics. 

 

I have intentionally never told her my net worth, and she probably won't ever know until I pass as she's in my will; not everything but a pretty substantial amount. 

 

Other farang that know us both tell me I'm very lucky and I should give her more monthly. I'm m considering it now but want to wait to see if she asks for it. It's a perverted kind of test I suppose. I was burned badly in a 10 year marriage in America and don't plan to play the fool again in this lifetime. 

 

Truthfully, for what she brings to my life and what I can afford, I should be giving her closer to 20,000/month. Time will tell. 

 

50,000/month is ludicrous for the poser you describe.

 

Good women are out there but it takes time and experience to find them and recognize a good one when you see her. The rental experience so many here recommend is just not my style. I'm old fashioned that way and know the rewards of a stable longterm relationship. I'm well pleased that I found her at this point in my life. 

 

Good luck! 

Thanks for posting that reply.

 

Glad you are happy with life.

 

All the best in the future.

 

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18 hours ago, Cat ji said:

 

????  Good, you're on track - work on it, be determined to do it.

 

[Note: Do not have children - at least not yet, not until you're sorted with this. Regardless of wife or mortgage, having children would change the picture, even if you earn a lot and/or get lucky with investments.]

Practice living frugally.  "Lifestyle" / lifestyle culture is the opposite of that goal.

Key thing is how you can maintain yourself, how you can get money. (The Thailand passport connection, would that get you a work permit or maybe be helpful with operating a small business legally?
Work skills/qualifications that let you work in foreign countries, or as "digital nomad," a big plus.
(I think you figured that out already.)
[Referring to that first paragraph again:] Yes, indeed. While the CoL increases, with inflation and taxes and so on. Whether or not your income increases. And that slaving away scene influences you to up the lifestyle - as in, "I might as well", to help you feel better about it, and you feel secure with the salary coming in every month.

 

 

Of course, there are pro's and con's, you have to decide, like what is most important to you.
btw, I've come across several guys here who gave that as a major reason for moving to Thailand, rather than stay in Canada / Australia / California. As well as CoL and general cultural stuff.  Definitely many in SE Asia generally.

 

With regard to maintaining myself financially; I am a qualified Electronic and Computer Engineer with an increasing amount of software engineering experience. I have worked remotely previously and my intention is to work remotely full-time if/when I  make the move to Thailand/SE Asia. The idea being that I will have a western income with SE Asia living expenses.

 

The Thai passport connection could be used to set up a Thai company. But at this point I think I prefer to have a registered company in my home country and do my finances from there, I don't like the idea of keeping all my finances in Thailand. 

 

Thanks for the advice, I have been living as frugally as possible with about 12 months now, for no particular reason other than I looked around my house one day and realised it was full of worthless shit for which I had initially paid a small fortune ???? I just did a big clear out and did not revert to my old ways of buying things for which I had no immediate/long-term need, it has been really refreshing, and I would advise anyone to give it a go also.

 

Thanks for replying, I appreciate the response. 

 

 

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I suggest that you try out your income stream from a company that you own in your home country and work out all of the kinks before you settle in to live in Thailand.  Your plan to keep your money abroad is sound.  The unexpected can always happen so it would be good to have a Plan B. I could tell you stories of people whose financial plans went south but I'm sure that you can imagine them. So far as setting up a company in Thailand, please research thoroughly.  If you search through ThaiVisa, you will find lots of business failure stories.   You can search on Google and it will bring up links to the ThaiVisa pages. Your biggest threat is psychological - that of confirmation bias.  You can unwittingly disregard negative facts that might influence your wish to move to Thailand before you have adequate financial resources to do so.  I have seen my own daughter lose her entire $125,000 investment in a cell phone business and my ex-wife scammed out of her life savings TWICE.  So be careful.

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I only read the first three pages of replies, and predictably they were a decent mix of humor and serious answers. But as others have said this is tried and true topic, but by no means irrelevant. 
 
I'll give you a serious answer from my own limited experience. 
 
I met a hard-working low-income girl from Phetchabun through a Thai friend. She worked 16 hour days in a small sidewalk bistro with her sister while caring for her bedridden mother by herself. Very decent large family who all have jobs and certainly no 'bar' experience and no debt except for her motorcycle. Her upbringing was crushing impoverishment and she knows the value of money. Married once to a Thai man for 19 years and divorced at 42, no kids and she doesn't regret that. .
 
She and her sister own a house they built and paid for jointly. She has always saved and spent her money well. Only a 6th grade education but knows right from wrong and is never moody or pessimistic like so many Thai women. When she occassionly becomes unhappy she just stops talking and it passes in a few hours; she detests conflict and simply won't let herself be unhappy. 
 
After a few months of dating I asked her to live with me and not work. She cleans, cooks, died the laundry, teaches me Thai, and is a constant always-happy companion who refuses to let life get her down. She takes very good care of me and is very sensitive to my moods. We've been together for two years but I get the impression she knows it could end any time. She figures she'll just carry on somehow I guess. We are more sexually compatible than any woman I've ever known in my 60+ years. In short, she's a diamond in the rough. 
 
I pay for everything in daily life including restaurants several times a week, periodic road trips just for fun at nice beaches and good hotels and restaurants. We go to the gym together, hit the beach several times a week, and enjoy each other's company. I got her a passport and we'll do some international travel soon. She's never been in an airplane or out of her country. She genuinely appreciates what I provide and knows she's got a good life now. 
 
I pay her ฿10,000/month and some extra when she visits her family. I never ask but suspect she funnels money to her siblings who can certainly use it as both her parents are dead. I earned large graces with her and her family by paying for her mother's funeral house, which was of course burned later. I buy her a baht of gold as a necklace or bracelet once a year on her birthday along with clothes (I like to see her dressed up) and cosmetics. 
 
I have intentionally never told her my net worth, and she probably won't ever know until I pass as she's in my will; not everything but a pretty substantial amount. 
 
Other farang that know us both tell me I'm very lucky and I should give her more monthly. I'm m considering it now but want to wait to see if she asks for it. It's a perverted kind of test I suppose. I was burned badly in a 10 year marriage in America and don't plan to play the fool again in this lifetime. 
 
Truthfully, for what she brings to my life and what I can afford, I should be giving her closer to 20,000/month. Time will tell. 
 
50,000/month is ludicrous for the poser you describe.
 
Good women are out there but it takes time and experience to find them and recognize a good one when you see her. The rental experience so many here recommend is just not my style. I'm old fashioned that way and know the rewards of a stable longterm relationship. I'm well pleased that I found her at this point in my life. 
 
Good luck! 

If this is all you can give, it make sense, if not, you are taking advantage of her situation.
She gives everything to you and for you she is worth a maids salary?



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who cares if you give her money...

 

it's what she thinks of you and what you think of yourself.

 

likely she thinks you are a loser, easily replaceable, not special and only money.   and you have zero self-respect and contemplate suicide because life is soo horrible.  paying won't help.

 

first love yourself.  if you pay someone, you hate yourself.  

 

 

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17 hours ago, RocketDog said:

I only read the first three pages of replies, and predictably they were a decent mix of humor and serious answers. But as others have said this is tried and true topic, but by no means irrelevant. 

 

I'll give you a serious answer from my own limited experience. 

 

I met a hard-working low-income girl from Phetchabun through a Thai friend. She worked 16 hour days in a small sidewalk bistro with her sister while caring for her bedridden mother by herself. Very decent large family who all have jobs and certainly no 'bar' experience and no debt except for her motorcycle. Her upbringing was crushing impoverishment and she knows the value of money. Married once to a Thai man for 19 years and divorced at 42, no kids and she doesn't regret that. .

 

She and her sister own a house they built and paid for jointly. She has always saved and spent her money well. Only a 6th grade education but knows right from wrong and is never moody or pessimistic like so many Thai women. When she occassionly becomes unhappy she just stops talking and it passes in a few hours; she detests conflict and simply won't let herself be unhappy. 

 

After a few months of dating I asked her to live with me and not work. She cleans, cooks, died the laundry, teaches me Thai, and is a constant always-happy companion who refuses to let life get her down. She takes very good care of me and is very sensitive to my moods. We've been together for two years but I get the impression she knows it could end any time. She figures she'll just carry on somehow I guess. We are more sexually compatible than any woman I've ever known in my 60+ years. In short, she's a diamond in the rough. 

 

I pay for everything in daily life including restaurants several times a week, periodic road trips just for fun at nice beaches and good hotels and restaurants. We go to the gym together, hit the beach several times a week, and enjoy each other's company. I got her a passport and we'll do some international travel soon. She's never been in an airplane or out of her country. She genuinely appreciates what I provide and knows she's got a good life now. 

 

I pay her ฿10,000/month and some extra when she visits her family. I never ask but suspect she funnels money to her siblings who can certainly use it as both her parents are dead. I earned large graces with her and her family by paying for her mother's funeral house, which was of course burned later. I buy her a baht of gold as a necklace or bracelet once a year on her birthday along with clothes (I like to see her dressed up) and cosmetics. 

 

I have intentionally never told her my net worth, and she probably won't ever know until I pass as she's in my will; not everything but a pretty substantial amount. 

 

Other farang that know us both tell me I'm very lucky and I should give her more monthly. I'm m considering it now but want to wait to see if she asks for it. It's a perverted kind of test I suppose. I was burned badly in a 10 year marriage in America and don't plan to play the fool again in this lifetime. 

 

Truthfully, for what she brings to my life and what I can afford, I should be giving her closer to 20,000/month. Time will tell. 

 

50,000/month is ludicrous for the poser you describe.

 

Good women are out there but it takes time and experience to find them and recognize a good one when you see her. The rental experience so many here recommend is just not my style. I'm old fashioned that way and know the rewards of a stable longterm relationship. I'm well pleased that I found her at this point in my life. 

 

Good luck! 

Out of curiosity, how to you hit the beach every couple of weeks from Phetchabun?

 

My wife has family there, so I know exactly where it is

 

Thats Hell of a road trip

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As my wonderful grandfather told me the day I turned 21, "There's two kinds of sex, sex for free and sex you pay for. The only real difference is free sex tends to cost a lot more." In the 40 years since, I don't think I've ever gotten truer advice.

Having said that, I pay my 'from-the-country' Thai GF 10,000/month, what she would earn working in the fields. She has a daughter and has to pay all the things associated with that. In return she cares for me like no woman in the West ever would. A fair deal I think....

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As my wonderful grandfather told me the day I turned 21, "There's two kinds of sex, sex for free and sex you pay for. The only real difference is free sex tends to cost a lot more." In the 40 years since, I don't think I've ever gotten truer advice.
Having said that, I pay my 'from-the-country' Thai GF 10,000/month, what she would earn working in the fields. She has a daughter and has to pay all the things associated with that. In return she cares for me like no woman in the West ever would. A fair deal I think....

Are you admitting nobody (attractive enough for you) would have sex with you if don’t pay her money, like this peasant with a daughter you give 10,000 Baht per month?


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look! This has been reverse engineered and explored beyond the point of beating a dead horse! 

Pay her whatever you want or pay the other sexy bar girls for short/long time, but eventually and somehow either with dinner, flowers, chocolates, sin sot, a baby, gold, car, or house, but you/we all pay.  It's just a matter of time and how. So choose the least financially destructive method, and go have a blast before life is over.  Don't waste time over thinking it when you could be busting nuts! ???? 

 

 

 

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32 minutes ago, Date Masamune said:

Are you admitting nobody (attractive enough for you) would have sex with you if don’t pay her money, like this peasant with a daughter you give 10,000 Baht per month?

The older you get, the more likely that is so. (Apparently many want to continue through their 70s and even longer.)
Not being able to admit to it is even more a problem.

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On 4/11/2019 at 7:39 AM, luk AJ said:


If this is all you can give, it make sense, if not, you are taking advantage of her situation.
She gives everything to you and for you she is worth a maids salary?



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Thanks for your reply.

I've learned on TVF to take these things slowly and let them develop. She is hardly deprived since she has no debt and no monthly expenses to speak of. 

 

As many have advised its always a happy option to increase her stipend, but not the reverse. As I mentioned in my post I am strongly considering an increase, and I do understand how much I benefit from her company. I gave her ฿25,000 for the month she is gone to her family for Songkran. 

 

You must have a mansion, or you are an utter slob if you pay a maid that much. ????Twice a month @฿1,000 each time is good enough for me. 

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On 4/11/2019 at 9:04 AM, GinBoy2 said:

Out of curiosity, how to you hit the beach every couple of weeks from Phetchabun?

 

My wife has family there, so I know exactly where it is

 

Thats Hell of a road trip

Aha, you caught me. You know your Thai geography! 

 

Actually her family lives in Phetchabun but we live in Chaam with the beach a kilometer away from the house. And it's a few times a week , not a month! ????

 

I find life in a rental house here with clean and generally empty beaches far superior to a condo in the traffic jam and frenzy that is Huahin. I go there a few times a year for a movie or shopping. Best of all, there are paltry numbers of those rascally farang to deal with here. 

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On 4/10/2019 at 8:44 PM, FarangOnTour said:

With regard to maintaining myself financially; I am a qualified Electronic and Computer Engineer with an increasing amount of software engineering experience. I have worked remotely previously and my intention is to work remotely full-time if/when I  make the move to Thailand/SE Asia. The idea being that I will have a western income with SE Asia living expenses.

 

The Thai passport connection could be used to set up a Thai company. But at this point I think I prefer to have a registered company in my home country and do my finances from there, I don't like the idea of keeping all my finances in Thailand. 

 

Thanks for the advice, I have been living as frugally as possible with about 12 months now, for no particular reason other than I looked around my house one day and realised it was full of worthless shit for which I had initially paid a small fortune ???? I just did a big clear out and did not revert to my old ways of buying things for which I had no immediate/long-term need, it has been really refreshing, and I would advise anyone to give it a go also.

 

Thanks for replying, I appreciate the response. 

 

 

I'm also and electronic engineer but mainly analog circuit design for hazardous locations. A nice little niche that few people want to exploit. 

I retired 3 years ago and was working full time as well as consulting regularly until I moved to Thailand. I'm home only a few months each year for a change of wallpaper. 

 

I'm still company based in America as a sole proprietor. If you live in Thailand full time an American can deduct over $100,000 from your income, more of you own a building (which you can live in). 

 

In my case I still deduct internet, tools, supplies, utilities and office space in my house in America. My income is still low five figures and not worth raising questions with the IRS or Thai governments about a foreign company office or income. There is however a tax agreement in place between America and Thailand that avoids double taxes under a certain amount of income. 

 

Even with the ~13hr time difference I have no trouble interacting with my clients. I have a VOIP account for my telephone in America so calls are free in both directions. 

If you do mostly brain work I think you'll suffer no pain working here. 

 

Also, search the forums but the consensus is that Thai authorities have no particular interest in digital nomads. 

 

My only advice is if you move here take care to purchase any equipment you need that's reasonably portable and bring it with you. The one exception is a printer. It's easy to buy name brand ink jet printers here with external ink tanks that you can't readily buy in the US. Ink cartridges are still expensive here and the paper is A4. 

 

Remember the mains voltage is 220 so all your equipment like modems and routers should have DC supplies with universal input. 

 

For low power 120v things I use a 500w Bestek inverter with USB power ports. 

 

Finally, do not plan on buying USB power ports or chargers here. It's a crap shoot and mostly you get just that. Invest a few bucks and buy Anker power products. You can't go wrong with them. 

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17 hours ago, Benroon said:

Rot - if you're picking up dogs you've got a point - if you've got a worldie she ain't going home with you for 3000 baht !! 

 

Knew a girl in Nana some time ago that would command 10,000 a night and she got it every night she wanted it. Exceptional looking girl. Know others that start at 5000 - just check the online pickup sites and see what you're paying there, they're the same girls you used to see in the bars - but don't anymore as they've all gone online thus the munters now populating the bars who can't compete online

Please tell me you are joking, mate you have been in Bangkok too long. I suggest you visit Pattaya plenty of stunners here. 10,000 or 5,000 your crazy to suggest that is the norm for an "exeptional looking girl"

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