Is there ever a happy ever after with BG?

[featography]

There are always exceptions to every rule, so the most common response I have heard on this subject over the years is;

You can take the bar girl out of the bar but you cant take the bar out of the bar girl. 

Bars are not the only place to meet the same type of girl. Many can be found on dating sites, chat medias and many are quite experienced at meeting multiple vacationing Westerners each year. We expats call them ''rent a wife". Don't get me wrong, if you know in advance that you're spending a vacation over here with one, they make awesome tour guides, for traveling around Thailand with. You get a translator, a guide with experience, and benefits if you don't mind they are married, or have a Thai boy friend at home. A bargain. Like another poster said, IF they take you to their home, where they live and ''take you to meet her family'' she is getting real. 

[Dania2019]

It can but take care very much

[Peterw42]

4 minutes ago, Jaxxper said:

It happens , but you have to catch them early in their "career".....first couple of months. A lot don't want to do it at first but then it becomes a way of life to provide money for the family. A good tell tale is how good their English is. If its poor to non existent then maybe you've got one you can save.

I think you can also ask "why" she is a bargirl, Genuinely feeding the kids, thai guy has dumped on her, and looking after parents etc "or" wants a new iphone and play dress ups every night. If she quit the bank job to work in a bar for more money, 2 months or 2 years, not much different.

.

 

 

[Thingamabob]

There have been many happy endings, and many awful endings. A lot of give and take needed on both sides.

[4MyEgo]

On 4/15/2019 at 9:31 PM, Thaisi said:

just wondering if other people have any experience of this overly honest and receptive relationship with BG and how they ended. 

From where I am sitting, I couldn't be happier.

 

I met my wife of 12 years in a bar in Phuket, not all bar girls are the same as not all women are the same, you have your jealous ones, your money hungry ones and so on and so forth.

 

No doubt you would be getting a lot of conflicting replies here, but the one I liked most was the 1st one, wise words.

 

I think the first thing you have to know about a "bar girl" is that she doesn't want to be there spreading her legs, she is there for a reason and that is to make money to support her family as opportunities are limited here in Thailand even if you have an education, no doubt other will disagree and that's fair enough, yes I am going by comments made by girls who have finished university and couldn't get a job apart from working in a 7/11 on about 250 baht a day Vs 2,000 plus baht a day in a bar if they are pretty enough and are in a good spot.

 

I spent 10 nights with my wife of the 2 weeks I spent in Phuket, I told her I would be back in 6 weeks and she went back to the village not long after to wait for me, I met the family and took her back with me to my home country on a tourist visa, she took a big gamble but it paid off, we got married and have been happily ever after, I know a lot of blokes won't comprehend that, and a few will, it's a role of the dice, and you could say I got two 6's, we have two beautiful Euroasia daughters and I am not bias, the European and Asian mix is something else if the father is hanhom and the mother gorgeous (naturally).

 

She has never been demanding, although I did my research and used to send 10,000 baht to her parents per month as I took her away from them, e.g. she was sending them money, and that kind of money was chicken feed to me, but enough for them to survive. 

 

We live in my country for 9 years until I retired her 3.5 years ago, we would do annual trips, sometimes twice, build a house on land I purchase for her, a new car in her name, etc, etc, etc.

 

I have a life insurance policy with her as the beneficiary, a will for the girls with her as trustee, the land house and car are hers, and if things ever went bad, I would walk away with 90% of what I have invested back in the old country, suffice to say, never invest more than 10% of your worth with ny women, I think this is where most disgruntled blokes go wrong, i.e. wearing their hearts on their sleeves and showering their wives, gf's, x's with the lot and then they are left with nothing.

 

I like your attitude as you know how the game is played and that there is nothing wrong with it.

 

You can take the bar girl out of the bar and the bar out of the girl, my marriage is proof of that, what do all these guys think the girls want to be there spreading their legs for $'s, deceases, broken promises etc etc, some do, they have nothing else, however there are scores of girls looking for an opportunity to land a farang to take care them, build them a house, offer them security, opportunities, nothing wrong with that, land the wrong one and you wish you didn't meet her.

 

I suppose if you keep control of your finances separate which I STRONGLY advise and only invest as much as 10% you can afford to walk when the time comes.

 

If you like the girl, keep in touch while you are away, DO NOT send her money, her problems are not your problems, if she asks you for money, then you know she is a scammer. When you see her and plan to stay with her make sure your timing is not when another farang is going to be in town, i.e. book her exclusively and go away from the bar scene, agree to a price, no doubt you will have to pay the bar fine for each night she is away, you should be able to see if your compatible with her and whether she likes you or not, the next phase would be to take her back with you if she is willing, i.e. if she doesn't have a husband or bf ack in the village or a child of kids, but they usually can have the grandparents or other family members look after them, if your prepared to send them some money every month which is only fair.

 

That just about covers it, best of luck and keep it covered, the heart that is ????

  

[orang37]

Yes, for her there i$ a happy ending.

 

~o:37;

[GalaxyMan]

No reason why it couldn't work. It will depend upon you most of all, how you handle her past, and her, whether she is really willing to let the past be just that, the past. I know a couple of guys in the West who married hookers and they're still married, very happily, more than 20 years later. I have a friend here in LOS who married a bargirl about 10 years ago and they seem just fine.

[brianbbb]

Married BG ten years now ups and downs you can take the girl out of the bar but you can't take the bar out of the girl

[Caine]

Can a relationship with a bar girl ever work ? Only if she’s buying the beer, more chance of a tax rebate.

[AAArdvark]

On 4/15/2019 at 10:37 PM, observer90210 said:

A few points that come to mind. First one would be more then surprised on how much a young attractive long haired, busty BG makes in a month. Often more then many here spend in a month.

 

Second, can you provide her with that equivalent to fully take off the scene ? Can you afford to rent sorry compensentate her with an equivalent monthly cash entry of say US$ 2000,-- approx every month ?

 

Maybe some make less but, a good looking BG surely must be making at least 2 or 3 grand ?

 

As a joke, I one time offered a BG ฿30,000 a month for a permanent live in arrangement.  She turned it down because she needed more.

So the answer to the OP's question is, yes it can work but only in something like 1 in 10,000.  

[thequietman]

On 4/15/2019 at 10:37 PM, observer90210 said:

A few points that come to mind. First one would be more then surprised on how much a young attractive long haired, busty BG makes in a month. Often more then many here spend in a month.

 

Second, can you provide her with that equivalent to fully take off the scene ? Can you afford to rent sorry compensentate her with an equivalent monthly cash entry of say US$ 2000,-- approx every month ?

 

Maybe some make less but, a good looking BG surely must be making at least 2 or 3 grand ?

 

2000 usd is 63,000 baht, so that's 1 shag a day at 2000 baht for 30 days.

 

Yep, sounds about right but it would be like a barn door!

[ExpatOne]

I’ve lived here for a long time and I spent many years in Pattaya and had the pleasure of getting to know a lot of the working girls outside of work because we would see each other around a lot.

 

The stories that came from these girls and how they would play men changed my view on them forever. How they would try get guys to like by paying for things, taking care of them, telling them they look good, etc. It’s truly an art form for them and they know exactly what they are doing.

 

Don’t let the fact that she has less formal education or that she comes from a farm fool you. When it comes to street knowledge, she has a PHD. 

 

Remember, this is her job. It’s her survival. The emotions in the sense that you have emotions are different. Yours are probably based on the relationship dynamic while hers are based on a survival. 

 

For example, she sees you looking at another girl and freaks out. It’s not because she’s afraid to lose love or a close connection with you. It’s because she’s worried that other girl might take her means of survival.

 

Remember, they have children by accident or as a survival thing, so they have someone to take care of them when they are old. Farang are the same. 

[tingtongtourist]

15 hours ago, marcusarelus said:

So you are another expert with no experience.  Would you go to a doctor who only had an education through hearsay?

 

Divorce rate in America is 50% and you lose most everything.  Seems to me marriage to a bar girl in Thailand has better odds.

Yes, a lot better odds in that you can dissapear without a trace and not have some court settlement/ have income garnisheered by a court  after just living with them.

Can even dissapear from Bkk and youll probably never see her again.

 

other than that, staying with them long term its a battle putting up with BS and constant childish tantrums and demands for money.

 

of course, they know very well you can dissapear any time and there is a "superannuation" thinking factored in on how much they must get out of guys while they are young looking and not burnt out.

 

it a game for us and business for them

and you need to turn it around.

the smarter guys know they can have fun, learn the language real good then

if she cost to much, dissapear and look for a "good girl/good job" etc

 

 

just a word of warning, the wrong "good girl" gonna cost you 10x more than a bargirl as they have even higher expectation/maintenance cost!!

[1FinickyOne]

well. since you seem to be enjoying your infatuation with her, why not just enjoy the ride w/o the worry of a future... if it works out tommorow then you have another good day under your belt...

 

and try not to get blind drunk again. nobody really likes taking care of a witless drunk for too long. 

[Pravda]

53 minutes ago, 4MyEgo said:

From where I am sitting, I couldn't be happier.

 

I met my wife of 12 years in a bar in Phuket, not all bar girls are the same as not all women are the same, you have your jealous ones, your money hungry ones and so on and so forth.

 

No doubt you would be getting a lot of conflicting replies here, but the one I liked most was the 1st one, wise words.

 

I think the first thing you have to know about a "bar girl" is that she doesn't want to be there spreading her legs, she is there for a reason and that is to make money to support her family as opportunities are limited here in Thailand even if you have an education, no doubt other will disagree and that's fair enough, yes I am going by comments made by girls who have finished university and couldn't get a job apart from working in a 7/11 on about 250 baht a day Vs 2,000 plus baht a day in a bar if they are pretty enough and are in a good spot.

 

I spent 10 nights with my wife of the 2 weeks I spent in Phuket, I told her I would be back in 6 weeks and she went back to the village not long after to wait for me, I met the family and took her back with me to my home country on a tourist visa, she took a big gamble but it paid off, we got married and have been happily ever after, I know a lot of blokes won't comprehend that, and a few will, it's a role of the dice, and you could say I got two 6's, we have two beautiful Euroasia daughters and I am not bias, the European and Asian mix is something else if the father is hanhom and the mother gorgeous (naturally).

 

She has never been demanding, although I did my research and used to send 10,000 baht to her parents per month as I took her away from them, e.g. she was sending them money, and that kind of money was chicken feed to me, but enough for them to survive. 

 

We live in my country for 9 years until I retired her 3.5 years ago, we would do annual trips, sometimes twice, build a house on land I purchase for her, a new car in her name, etc, etc, etc.

 

I have a life insurance policy with her as the beneficiary, a will for the girls with her as trustee, the land house and car are hers, and if things ever went bad, I would walk away with 90% of what I have invested back in the old country, suffice to say, never invest more than 10% of your worth with ny women, I think this is where most disgruntled blokes go wrong, i.e. wearing their hearts on their sleeves and showering their wives, gf's, x's with the lot and then they are left with nothing.

 

I like your attitude as you know how the game is played and that there is nothing wrong with it.

 

You can take the bar girl out of the bar and the bar out of the girl, my marriage is proof of that, what do all these guys think the girls want to be there spreading their legs for $'s, deceases, broken promises etc etc, some do, they have nothing else, however there are scores of girls looking for an opportunity to land a farang to take care them, build them a house, offer them security, opportunities, nothing wrong with that, land the wrong one and you wish you didn't meet her.

 

I suppose if you keep control of your finances separate which I STRONGLY advise and only invest as much as 10% you can afford to walk when the time comes.

 

If you like the girl, keep in touch while you are away, DO NOT send her money, her problems are not your problems, if she asks you for money, then you know she is a scammer. When you see her and plan to stay with her make sure your timing is not when another farang is going to be in town, i.e. book her exclusively and go away from the bar scene, agree to a price, no doubt you will have to pay the bar fine for each night she is away, you should be able to see if your compatible with her and whether she likes you or not, the next phase would be to take her back with you if she is willing, i.e. if she doesn't have a husband or bf ack in the village or a child of kids, but they usually can have the grandparents or other family members look after them, if your prepared to send them some money every month which is only fair.

 

That just about covers it, best of luck and keep it covered, the heart that is ????

  

 

What a hell is this? An essay on how to keep a bargirl if you pay her enough?

[Denim]

Anything involving a close relationship with a member of the opposite sex , regardless of their position , background or wealth , is going to be fraught with potential danger.

 

You just have to do your best to negotiate the minefield and if you inadvertently step on something hope it is only soft and smelly and not something that will blow up in your face or take your legs off.

[4MyEgo]

5 minutes ago, Pravda said:

 

What a hell is this? An essay on how to keep a bargirl if you pay her enough?

You didn't have to read it, suffice to say you missed the most important part that I mentioned, i.e. she NEVER asked or DEMANDED a thing of me.

 

Try not to speed read when drinking ????

 

[Baerboxer]

It'll be fine - until she used up all your money; hears the word "no"; and you don't mind her selling herself to other men and have other "boyfriends" on the go.

 

Good luck.

[tingtongtourist]

3 minutes ago, Baerboxer said:

It'll be fine - until she used up all your money; hears the word "no"; and you don't mind her selling herself to other men and have other "boyfriends" on the go.

 

Good luck.

and this to explain the huge difference in thinking. 

you would laugh if she told you dont go home to work in the mines for big money, because its dangerous, right?

 

actually, You trying to push your morals (where you come from a safe welfare state) onto someone who have no other way of feeding their family.

 

In her mind really you are saying " its ok for me to go earn money but not for you because what you do is bad"

 

in the same regard many girls will probably think:

" you dont want to support me financially, yet you dont want me go making money any way i can either"

[tlandtday]

troll post

[RobMuir]

4 hours ago, JRG23 said:

Let me tell you a quick story..... 

 

I have lived in Thailand for a long time.

I was married in the early 1990s at age 25 to a Thai girl, a lawyer, with degrees and a nice family. Thought I was set for life.

But she was a nightmare - and we divorced 12 years later (in December 2005).

I married another Thai girl in 2007. She was a bar girl from Central Pattaya Road, opposite where Tops used to be.

We have lived together (in BKK) since 2007 and have two beautiful kids. And (generally) we have a very happy life (I work in BKK).

Yes, we have ups and downs, of course we do. But I am way way more happier than I was with my life with my ex-wife 'good girl' lawyer.

My 'bar girl' wife is not perfect but she is hardworking, generally honest and most importantly, very loyal and loving towards me.

My 'good girl' ex-wife was lazy, only devoted to her family, and didn't give a shit about me.

 

So, yes, I'd say give it a go.

You had children with a pattaya bar girl? That is taking it another step up.

 

What will you tell them when they ask “Dad, how did you meet mum?”

 

Did you tell your family that she was a prostitute? I would find that awkward.

[RobMuir]

20 minutes ago, tingtongtourist said:

 

 

actually, You trying to push your morals (where you come from a safe welfare state) onto someone who have no other way of feeding their family.

 

 

Feed her family, or feed her shopping/drug habit.

 

if that were really true, how then do the other 98% of Thais who don’t resort to sex work feed their families? how do fat girls survive? how do males survive? 

 

They get a real job. Prostitutes in all countries are greedy and lazy,or have drug habits.

Thailand is no different. There are plenty of opportunities here to get ahead, which is why millions of Cambodians and Laotians and Burmese work in Thailand.

 

i also not I have never seen a starving thai, there is food everywhere. Plenty of other ways to feed a family.

[NoshowJones]

On 4/15/2019 at 8:31 PM, RobMuir said:

Thailand has so many available beautiful and cute single girls who are not prostitutes who don’t have sexual diseases and constantly hit you up for cash.

 

Dont waste your time with this slut. Go for something decent. 

The 98% of normal Thais will give you zero respect for treating a prostitute as a girlfriend.

 

It doesn’t matter if she tones down her dress and covers her tattoos, she won’t be fooling anyone,  Thais can always tell a hooker and will think you are an idiot.

You can do better.

I never married a bargirl, but have nothing against those who do, but if I wanted to even date a bargirl, I would never barfine one, also, I would never date anyone with tattoos or dyed hair.

[RobMuir]

1 hour ago, 4MyEgo said:

From where I am sitting, I couldn't be happier.

Very honest post.

 

 

1 hour ago, 4MyEgo said:

 

I met my wife of 12 years in a bar in Phuket, not all bar girls are the same as not all women are the same, you have your jealous ones, your money hungry ones and so on and so forth.

Not having a go. But why would you look for a wife in a brothel?

Were you lonely? Couldn’t get a normal girl? Did you ever date normal girls?

 

1 hour ago, 4MyEgo said:

 

No doubt you would be getting a lot of conflicting replies here, but the one I liked most was the 1st one, wise words.

 

I think the first thing you have to know about a "bar girl" is that she doesn't want to be there spreading her legs, she is there for a reason and that is to make money to support her family as opportunities are limited here in Thailand even if you have an education, no doubt other will disagree and that's fair enough, yes I am going by comments made by girls who have finished university and couldn't get a job apart from working in a 7/11 on about 250 baht a day Vs 2,000 plus baht a day in a bar if they are pretty enough and are in a good spot.

Rubbish, Thailand is full of opportunities if you are half smart or not lazy. RE post above. Millions of jobs here not in 7/11.

 

1 hour ago, 4MyEgo said:

 

I spent 10 nights with my wife of the 2 weeks I spent in Phuket, I told her I would be back in 6 weeks and she went back to the village not long after to wait for me, I met the family and took her back with me to my home country on a tourist visa, she took a big gamble but it paid off, we got married and have been happily ever after,

 

Were you honest about her former employment with your friends and family? How did they react.

 

1 hour ago, 4MyEgo said:

 

 

 

I know a lot of blokes won't comprehend that, and a few will, it's a role of the dice, and you could say I got two 6's, we have two beautiful Euroasia daughters and I am not bias, the European and Asian mix is something else if the father is hanhom and the mother gorgeous (naturally).

 

She has never been demanding, although I did my research and used to send 10,000 baht to her parents per month as I took her away from them, e.g. she was sending them money, and that kind of money was chicken feed to me, but enough for them to survive. 

The parents are too lazy to work? 

 

1 hour ago, 4MyEgo said:

 

We live in my country for 9 years until I retired her 3.5 years ago, we would do annual trips, sometimes twice, build a house on land I purchase for her, a new car in her name, etc, etc, etc.

On a on a previous post of yours I think I read that you live quite frugally within a budget? But you buy houses and cars for other people and support the parents retirement?

 

 

 

1 hour ago, 4MyEgo said:

I have a life insurance policy with her as the beneficiary, a will for the girls with her as trustee, the land house and car are hers, and if things ever went bad, I would walk away with 90% of what I have invested back in the old country, suffice to say, never invest more than 10% of your worth with ny women, I think this is where most disgruntled blokes go wrong, i.e. wearing their hearts on their sleeves and showering their wives, gf's, x's with the lot and then they are left with nothing.

 

I like your attitude as you know how the game is played and that there is nothing wrong with it.

 

You can take the bar girl out of the bar and the bar out of the girl, my marriage is proof of that,

 

 

So far.

1 hour ago, 4MyEgo said:

 

what do all these guys think the girls want to be there spreading their legs for $'s, deceases, broken promises etc etc,

 

They want the easy money.

 

1 hour ago, 4MyEgo said:

 

some do, they have nothing else, however there are scores of girls looking for an opportunity to land a farang to take care them,

 

I think the vast majority of women don’t want to marry a whoremonger who they met in a bar. 

Is she ok with you going to beer bars now?

 

[RobMuir]

5 minutes ago, possum1931 said:

I never married a bargirl, but have nothing against those who do, but if I wanted to even date a bargirl, I would never barfine one, also, I would never date anyone with tattoos or dyed hair.

Dyed hair? I didn’t realize that was a slut/bad girl indicator.

 

Thanks for the advice, I will remember that one.

[NoshowJones]

On 4/15/2019 at 9:29 PM, ivor bigun said:

The problem for most guys is they never get a chance to date a non bar girl ,it was only when i had business here that i managed it,even then it was a problem as i was back and fore and my now sister in law insisted on coming to my partners office to ensure that i was a "decent" man,not just out for one thing, also my now brother in law would not talk to me for ages ,he did not trust me,mind you eventually he became my "new best friend" lol but that was a long long time ago.happy days.

Sent from my SM-A720F using Thailand Forum - Thaivisa mobile app
 

"The problem for most guys is they never get a chance to date a non bar girl". Not in my case. When I first came to Thailand, I knew nothing about the bar scene or barfines, and dated quite a few Thai girls who were not to my knowledge, bargirls, I dated office girls. market stall girls, even  one girl I met in a shopping mall, before I met my wife.

[sawadee1947]

Well, I suppose She's not the first gal in your life? 

What I understood she likes to drink, same you. 

But the attitude to look what is around next corner would piss me off. 

Suppose she is not honestly looking for a long term one man only relationship. 

I would walk away. 

[Jingjock]

On ‎4‎/‎15‎/‎2019 at 3:31 AM, Thaisi said:

I met a lovely girl, I say met but you know what I mean... After the first night with her she went off to do her own things. I saw her again 2 days later for 2 nights and pretty much 2 days. She would go off and change, shower etc, but I even went back with her to her place one time... Essentially we didn't spend much time apart in those 48hours. 

Now I know she was texting other men (as expected), I woke one morning with just my eyes, didn't move and watched for a couple of minutes. The usual "I miss you" "I come back soon" from the bloke. 

Very few relationships work here, culture is very different with Thais. Remember you just do not marry her, you marry the family includind the dogs. And its mostly expected you pay for all. Been here long time, seen many more failures than good partnerships.

[wolf81]

I think one of the most important things to realize is that most (perhaps all) woman look for a man who can provide for her and her future children. Woman need to feel secure, it's programmed in their DNA. So in the end you have to be prepared to pay money (most likely) for taking care of your GF and your future children. Unless perhaps she really loves to work and can find a decent job somewhere.

 

The second important thing to remember is to never ever get married. It'll transfer all power in the relationship to the smallest provider, usually the woman. Because if you ever separate you might have to give away part of your property to your ex. If you're not married there's an incentive for the smallest provider to take good care of the biggest provider (obviously the biggest provider should veel incentives to take good care of his significant other as well, but not for monetary reasons). 

 

Even if you'd separate, if you have offspring with your ex, be a man and at least financially provide for your offspring -or- if your ex isn't of good character, try to get custody over your children yourself.

 

If in the future you are considering marriage to stay easily in Thailand, I would advise to buy a Thai Elite visa instead (or perhaps get a business visa and start a business or if you're above 50 years old, get a retirement visa).

 

Just my POV, I am sure some people wouldn't agree with me, especially about the marriage part.

Edited April 17, 2019 by wolf81

[isaanjohnno]

Would you date a hooker in your home country???? Just use the same logic