Wife out of control

[Orton Rd]

Did he ever have sex at all? if not no need for a divorce just an anulment as not consumated, bitch get nothing in that case

[BritManToo]

22 minutes ago, Orton Rd said:

Did he ever have sex at all? if not no need for a divorce just an anulment as not consumated, bitch get nothing in that case

How could you get to the stage of marrying someone without having sex first?

I don't even bother with a second date, if I didn't bang them on the first.

When at University (many years ago) we had a saying,

"If you haven't banged them in two weeks, move on"

[CLS]

Making ignorant, sweeping generalizations of how a "large part of" how "ANY" one is, is just flat out uneducated and just absurd. With the influx of farangs moving into and out of Thailand on a daily basis, how is an accurate portrayal of the population even measured? I googled what you said, and it came up with nothing. 

It is unclear as to where you are from, but let's just say you were Thai for example, and let's just say there were studies about how "large parts" of Thais from Isaan suffer from Psychopathy", does that make it true of ALL Thais who fall within that category? As a "Thai person" (for this very example) who fell within that category, wouldn't you find that offensive and untrue? Wouldn't you think "how dare" this person think in this manner, to "assume" that all people who live within "X" (location) are a certain "type" of way (or how "dare" this person assume that they know "me" because "I" know that "I" am not a psychopath".) Your unfounded and unscientific theory is complete hogwash and it sounds as though you are "projecting" your own personal biases, prejudice, and intolerance of whatever preconceived notions you have against those residing in Isaan. It sounds as though you may have had bad experiences based on a few experiences and are generalizing it based on an entire group of individuals. This is how racism spreads, and this is so sad because that is why the world is such a place full of hatred, fear, and misery. I wish people would see that everyone is the way they are based on their own preconceived notions of the world which are shaped by their own upbringing, nature VS nurture (psychology), etc. 

I wish the world, namely people like these sorts would educate themselves and really see the idiocy of classifying "large parts" of ANYONE to a certain trait is just nonsensical. People EVERYWHERE are varied, because everyone has different personalities which are shaped by their individual upbringings, which shape their world filter and how they view the world. 

Racism is one of the worst forms of evil. I really despise it when others put people down simply based on ignorance and fear. The world should be based on love, acceptance and understanding that just because others do not think exactly the way you think, that doesn't mean there is anything wrong with that person. Heck, those people might think there is something wrong with YOU for thinking the way you do, maybe they think YOU are a psychopath.

Love, acceptance and peace is the answer. NOT overgeneralizing or "stereotyping" which is based on fear, ignorance, and a lack of education. I know I can't change your mind about racism, but hoping that this will open a monologue or a dialogue in your mind that your thinking is flawed and should be changed one day soon, hopefully. Love and acceptance of others is key.

My statement does not reflect my personal opinion, but tries to classify his wife‘s behavior.

And foremost it has nothing in common with racism.

I quoted Suzanne Grieger-Langer describing exactly his wife’s attitude and behavior.




Sent from my iPhone using Thailand Forum - Thaivisa mobile app

[emptypockets]

4 hours ago, Tony125 said:

"if you do not do it, or it messes up, then I will just go to the police and tell them you have abused me"

 

Both Thai women and Phillippine women have learned this trick. My friend in USA married a Pinay and 2 weeks after arriving in US she runs to Pinay friend and reports my friend for physical abuse. Why ? If the marriage is not working out, she doesn't love him anymore he's cheating ect and she wants a divorce in US she is on a probationary period of 18---24 months and she would be sent back to her home country. However, if they claim spousal abuse the Gov will allow them to stay as considered not their fault and should not be penalized. He almost lost everything he had till the American husband (a cop) of her Pinay friend saw stuff on his computer she was using and did a background check and found out she had a criminal and prostitution record a mile long in the Phillippines. Judge annulled the marriage and she skipped town

Cost him a lot in layers fees..

Was tha short time or long time layers fees? Cheaper than getting married and allegedly more fun.

[BritManToo]

5 hours ago, volleyowl said:

Racism is one of the worst forms of evil. I really despise it when others put people down simply based on ignorance and fear. The world should be based on love, acceptance and understanding that just because others do not think exactly the way you think, that doesn't mean there is anything wrong with that person. Heck, those people might think there is something wrong with YOU for thinking the way you do, maybe they think YOU are a psychopath.

Surely the comments you object to would only be racist if applied to all Asian women.

As far as I know 'Issan' isn't a racial descriptor.

 

Anyway, not being a racist, I divide women into two groups

group1 , those who have access to the legal system in my home country.

group 2, all other women.

 

group1 are to be totally avoided as sexual partners as I have no wish to be collared for 20 years of child maintenance or any other accusations (real or imagined) they may wish to pursue to my detriment.

I would also never take a woman from group2 into my home country as it would provide them the opportunity to join group1.

[emptypockets]

This there a delete post function. The multiple posts are painful

[emptypockets]

4 hours ago, shaurene said:

I would try some how to go back to at hailing with her for some made up reason.

if you manage to get there take some money with you maybe 10k pounds. Try make a deal for her to sign but do it with a good lawyer and do not stay in a same place keep a good distance and try have a witness with you at all time even if you have to pay a fee. As she could get the police on you with a pack of lies. Get something signed and get out. Do not help in any way to get her a uK visa, go to uk immigration and give them facts as to what she does and what she has done give a load of bulls shit like she sells her body etc. And then get to hell back to UK. If you want sell up all you have make plans and go live in other country. Just move around. Spain Greece Vietnam etc.

 

be as smart as her Mate. It can be done 109% and be safe. When you sell up plenty places to hide your money. Buy crypto currencies, gold, Silver, government bonds. Get a life again mate.

fortunatally I married a dream lady 12 yrs ago from Khon Kaen. I am having bad problems but from my side of the family in New Zealand. All ends up with money money money. Sickening really.

I think he is posting from I think he is posting from the UK and not Thailand.

Apart from that you have posted reasonable advice for a tricky situation.

[scubascuba3]

Always a risk taking one back to farangland, there is a good chance they will find someone younger and better

[BritManToo]

1 minute ago, scubascuba3 said:

Always a risk taking one back to farangland, there is a good chance they will find someone younger and better

....... or with a nicer house and car.

[sanemax]

2 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

....... or with a nicer house and car.

Did that happen to you ?

Did your Wife leave you and take your house and did you go to Thailand to bang lots of 20 year olds ?

[sanemax]

1 hour ago, BritManToo said:

How could you get to the stage of marrying someone without having sex first?

I don't even bother with a second date, if I didn't bang them on the first.

When at University (many years ago) we had a saying,

"If you haven't banged them in two weeks, move on"

What is your saying these days ?

"If you havent posted about banging 20 year olds in two days, make one" 

[Mukdahanman]

No intimacy- why are you even with her?

[OneMoreFarang]

2 hours ago, Benroon said:

OK fair enough you've put forward your case based on bias - I guess its a natural human reaction to be bitter after being slighted.

 

So now name a country where everything you've written DOESN'T apply. That country that has a zero divorce rate.

 

As for who is 'boss' - in a relationship between two MATURE people there really isn't a need to be 'boss' - infact I cringed a bit when you even said it. Perhaps maturity is the issue, which to be fair is in very short supply going by most of the comments on here.

Do you live in Thailand? Do you have a Thai wife and/or girlfriend? What is your real life experience?

It always nice to see things in the way we want them to be. Yes, it would be great if couples would live as partners together, make rational decisions, never argue about unimportant things, etc. But how often does that happen, especially in Thailand?

I think most Thais grow up with a clear structure. There are father and mother who have to be obeyed. And then there are the younger and the older sibling. And it seems many Thais treat them differently depending on their relative age. Then there are lots of other hierarchy scenarios and all seem to be "natural" for Thais.

But then comes the farang to tells them and behaves like: we are partners and I am not your boss. Guess what will happen...

[Kalasin Jo]

Clearly she wants to stay in the UK....and right now you are the ticket. I've never understood the mentality that the way to get what you want is to be as nasty, abusive and violent as possible. Consult a family lawyer PRONTO with your video and sound evidence. You are clearly a victim. You'll have to move out. She'll probably smash up everything, including you when she knows what you are doing. 

50% of everything on disputed divorce in the UK? No. Depends on behaviour of the parties. A family lawyer will put you in the picture. So do it, go see one.

Sorry mate, it's tragic. And will get worse before it gets better.

 

Oh and make sure the family lawyer has an immigration expert colleague too.

[Isaanbiker]

On 5/10/2019 at 4:10 AM, Glorfindal said:

Thanks for your kind words mate ...

 

she became like this after we married.

I just sit and take the abuse just now, and have indeed started recording as much as possible ...

So sad, I would happily share my life with her - not even as husband and wife, we used to be very good friends.

OP, you never had sex with your wife, and she hits you from time to time? And you still want to share your life with her as friends, not even as husband and wife?

 

    Go to the police, explain what's wrong with her, show them your evidence and get rid off her now. Every hour with her would be a wasted hour of my life for me.

 

   Reading your posts makes me sad, so I can only assume how you must feel. 

 

    Do you believe that she never had sex since you guys are married? 

 

   Her always changing mood could be from drug abuse, or she's just a psychopath.

 

    Get your life back; you gave her enough chances already. Just say no. 

[Seth1a2a]

Here is a story about a guy who recorded his wife threatening to make a false claim of abuse.. It saved him from a lot of potential grief. ...Legal or not , it can always be leaked to the press or immigration. What jury would convict him....?

 

[BritManToo]

8 minutes ago, Seth1a2a said:

Here is a story about a guy who recorded his wife threatening to make a false claim of abuse.. It saved him from a lot of potential grief. ...Legal or not , it can always be leaked to the press or immigration. What jury would convict him....?

They didn't say if he was chucked out of the house though.

(or her for that matter)

[DaRoadrunner]

I am no fan of Thai men, but I will say they know how to control their women.

 

We Farang are too soft.

[Number 6]

I would think you have every legal right to have a cam in your home. Record the audio as well.

 

What a nightmare.

 

I'm married and it's solid but I don't see the value of bringing my wife back to US even if I'm of the growing opinion I'm done with this dump. Move to Kyoto or New Zealand long stay with her. Travel...but not home and all that hassle of setting her up. My wife is 43 as well, pretty but she doesn't have many years to gamble with. No family. Id actually trust her, it's more my paranoia and reading experiences such as this.

 

If you can get her on record of calculating your assets on divorce that might be a huge help. Any machination, she entered into marriage under false pretenses.

 

I guess her family are nice people but not nice enough to warn you.

 

You must have seen it coming, its a monster.

[BritManToo]

You could always quit your job or take a sabbatical, so you no longer earn enough money for her to qualify to stay.

I understand, 18,600 GBP/year is the magic number, and keep any savings in cash not a bank account.

[Paradice lost]

My goodness.  What a load of useless rubbish advise people offer with no clue of what they're talking about!  Go to police - they'll not be interested, or at worst, you'll stir up a hornets nest. Talk to a lawyer - Make a mountain out of a molehill at HUGE expense.  Only best advice, get her to Thailand, one way or another and leave her there or as I previously suggested, call/explain to UK immigration and have her deported because the marriage has irrevocably broken down.  If she tries to claim assault as you say, she will only reinforce the marriage breakdown claim and if back in Thailand, she will be in no position to give evidence. Once the breakdown is registered on UK immigration computer, it's very unlikely she'll ever be allowed return to the UK.

[spidermike007]

3 hours ago, Benroon said:

Good grief - I cannot recall ever cringing as much when I read that !

 

I personally have never been pushed around by anyone male or female, in business or relationships and yet I don't feel a need to be 'boss' at home! Its a partnership not a dictatorship, well to mature grown ups it is anyway. Presumably you mourn the abolition of slavery ?

 

It must be coincidence that all the caveman type macho heroes on here that have marriage issues or who lose their wives to the first handy man that comes along and treats them with respect have that caveman attitude - odd that right ?

 

The aforementioned cavemen also like to quote success rates of thai/foreigner relationships at less than 1%, all end in failure, only after your money etc etc (yet never ever anything to back it up) yet again quite bizarrely I'm probably aware of around 30ish of the aforementioned relationships and without exception all are very happy - I don't know of one divorcing couple. When we throw a party kids will be laughing everywhere, the wives will be making some horrendous noise into a karaoke machine and the guys will be as distant as possible to the racket with a cold beer in their hands - then everyone goes home happy. How weird is that that mature people that treat each other as equals can be happy ???

 

You know, I really think maturity could be the key. 

An assertive man, who knows his place in the world is a caveman, huh? Sounds like Western women have done a very good job training you. Glad it is working out for you.

[Paradice lost]

6 minutes ago, Benroon said:

Yes , Yes and excellent

 

That post was all going well until the last sentence when you slipped back into caveman mode - thai women contrary to belief will have the same needs (esp security) as English, Mexican, Croatian or Eskimo. When those needs aren't satisfied, and they won't be with the saddos on here that apply the cringeworthy 'pocketmoney' scenario they will leave or become a nightmare. That's human nature not thainess. Again same in any country.

 

I have met way more nutjobs in the UK. It is just incomprehensible <deleted> to say there is a unique trait in one nations women (or men) but its said so often on here that those of lets say limited intelligence take it as gospel. Its tragic.

 

I'm not my Mrs boss nor would I ever want to be - the idea is insane, self defeating and depressing. If I wanted staff I would hire them. We act as a team, what I bring materially from a richer nation she more than makes up for with common sense (she's also never stole a bean from me in a decade) - her intuition stuns me on a daily basis. I made my living analysing and fixing IT foul ups yet don't have her intuitive skills. Her calmness is also an absolute godsend with some of the hurdless you can face here. We also have a daughter who could take apart a laptop and put it back together without a manual (paid for school but not international job but thai teachers) and we all get along nicely - they have huge respect for me, however if I step out of line I get to know about it. Yet again same every country.

 

This 'boss' thing is just tragic !

What's the purpose of all this.  It's not helping the poor guy with his very serious problem which is ruining his life.

Why not just stick to constructive and supportive comments that he needs

[thecyclist]

On 5/10/2019 at 2:14 AM, Glorfindal said:

Thanks for replying ... she is from South Thailand, and actually from a very well to do family. Seriously nice people. She is very much the black sheep of the family.

Which part of the south :I used to have a southern gf that had a temper to match most Isan chicks too:The best Thai girls are from Hatyai, move north from there and it gets increasingly worse = increasingly typical Thai girls sense of entitlement. 

[edwardandtubs]

13 minutes ago, Benroon said:

Aspiring to be the 'boss' in a relationship is just pathetic !

 

 

Spoken like a true sissy cuckold.

[Number 6]

13 minutes ago, thecyclist said:

Which part of the south :I used to have a southern gf that had a temper to match most Isan chicks too:The best Thai girls are from Hatyai, move north from there and it gets increasingly worse = increasingly typical Thai girls sense of entitlement. 

My wife was born in Bangkok. She has absolutely no sense of entitlement. She works and pays for much of her own needs and pays 100% of her international holidays which are not US bound as well.

 

She wants a new phone which she absolutely doesn't need and guess who's paying for it? She is. Her old washer broke down and I'm not buying a new one because it's only one load a week which she CAN do downstairs. 95% of my clothes go to laundry service. I pay for 60pcs a month, I use about 30. If she wants to average dirtying 5 pcs a day, she can wash them. I'll buy a machine when we move.

 

Hatyai is a backwater. Most of the women down south are not especially attractive save for the Chinese and Muslim women.

[stephen tracy]

Relocate asap and delete any social media accounts, and change email addresses. Forget Thailand for a couple of years and go somewhere else. By then she'll have hopefully moved on. Sorry to hear about your situation. But she sounds beyond reasoning with. 

[wisperone]

Lets face it..you were just a pawn in getting her out of Thailand. I'm sure there are a lot of good Thai women, but am also not sure if its worth the risk in hoping the one someone finds is that person, or the woman from hell like so many others have found.  I would go with the old addage of never ever get involved with a Thai woman. Not worth the risk of making yourself miserable and broke.

 

I wish you the best of luck in getting out of this situation as whole as possible.  Many have given you great advice in this thread. 

[Gecko123]

Thanks to the OP and everyone else for the honesty they displayed on this thread.

[exemplary21]

Where you divorce will matter in regards to asset splitting.

 

If you divorce in Thailand, what you had before your marriage is yours alone.

 

In Britain, maybe not, but the court will need to take into account her assets in Thailand as well as yours in Britain. You said she was from a well-to-do family, so this may be significant.