How to motivate Thais to pay the money back?

[CharlieH]

You now have the perfect "refuse" card to play whenever you want, and tell anyone who asks to go see him !

 

I dont believe it was an intended/planned scam as it would have been alot more than 5k.

 

Mentally right it off, but USE it at every opportunity to protect yourself in future.

[PingRoundTheWorld]

I'd be very skeptical of the girlfriend and her relationship with the "family member". It sounds like a classic case of she has a Thai boyfriend/husband who lost some money gambling or otherwise had an "emergency", and she turns to the only ATM she has on disposal - you. You claim this is not the situation, and none of us know your actual situation, but we do know that such cases are common. What's even more worrying is that she calls him every day and "talks nice" to him - how long are they on the phone each time? If she's on the phone with him daily for more than a few minutes than money is the least of your problems.

 

As far as lending money goes - think like a bank - would a bank lend 5000 baht to someone with no job and no collateral? Of course not, and neither should you. Would a bank lend 30,000 baht to someone making 10,000 baht a month with no collateral? Nope, and neither should you. Ability to re-pay is key to whether you're ever getting that money back or not.

[OneMoreFarang]

2 hours ago, PingRoundTheWorld said:

I'd be very skeptical of the girlfriend and her relationship with the "family member". It sounds like a classic case of she has a Thai boyfriend/husband who lost some money gambling or otherwise had an "emergency", and she turns to the only ATM she has on disposal - you. You claim this is not the situation, and none of us know your actual situation, but we do know that such cases are common. What's even more worrying is that she calls him every day and "talks nice" to him - how long are they on the phone each time? If she's on the phone with him daily for more than a few minutes than money is the least of your problems.

 

As far as lending money goes - think like a bank - would a bank lend 5000 baht to someone with no job and no collateral? Of course not, and neither should you. Would a bank lend 30,000 baht to someone making 10,000 baht a month with no collateral? Nope, and neither should you. Ability to re-pay is key to whether you're ever getting that money back or not.

My one is different - really! ???? 

[samsensam]

 

What is your experience? How did you motivate people to pay money back? Asking nice? Pressure? What worked?

 

sadly my overwhelming experience, just from my thai friends who have lent to 'friends' & family, is never, ever lend money to a thai and expect to get it back. if you're going to 'lend' money to a local assume it's a gift and then if they return it it will be a nice surprise, instead of believing them when they say they will repay it and then being disappointed.

 

shame them? bizarrely not repaying a loan doesn't seen to result in loss of face as they do it all the time.

[Kenny202]

Yeah probably gone dude. Nothing you can do about it except put some light pressure on your GF to retrieve it, particularly when she vouched for him. Even if you do get it back it will be 200 baht at a time.

 

I've recently had a couple of instances like that. One long time Thai friend, where money had never been an issue suddenly asked me for 1200 baht to start an online business. Young daughter of a Thai family I am close to. I knew a good chance it wouldn't come back and not only did I not get it back she hit me up for 10k a few weeks later to help her BF out of a jam. Got quite insistive too. It is amazing how easily these people can turn the shitty things they do around to where you are the bad guy. Anyway, wrote her and the money off. They seem more than happy to destroy a friendship over a few pennies.

 

Recently my GF indirectly asked me for 3000 baht for her brother. Was to help him get started looking for a new job, travel etc. I didn't mind too much as I know he's helped her out in the past. I told her this is the first time. If he doesn't pay it back it will be the last time. Next few days on FB photos of him enjoying himself and grogging it up wit his mates lol.

 

Same same. Promise you the world and give you an atlas....and then when you ask for your money back you're the bad guy. I didn't care too much in this case because I knew I could get the money back from my GF and I know have a good reason to make no further loans to any of the family. I got the money back from her. She hasn't received it back from him. 

[BritManToo]

10 hours ago, OneMoreFarang said:

And in the theoretical case that she would try to get money out of me: Would she go for 5,000B as the big price? 555

Mine steals money from my wallet, sometimes 100bht, sometimes a couple of 20s.

So I never have more than 200bht in my wallet now.

There's no logic to their behaviour.

[BritManToo]

8 hours ago, PingRoundTheWorld said:

Would a bank lend 30,000 baht to someone making 10,000 baht a month with no collateral? Nope, and neither should you. Ability to re-pay is key to whether you're ever getting that money back or not.

A bank would certainly loan money to someone earning 10k/month if they has 6 months pay slips.

[eddie61]

In my experience, Thais paying back a loan is the exception rather than the rule.

Simply forget about the concept of borrowing......asking to borrow money is a face saving way of asking for a gift, there is really no intention to pay the money back.

[JRG23]

My take on this: if you lend money to a Thai don't expect to get it back. If you do get it back, be very surprised. 

It is what is called as dishonesty and the Thais (especially men) are very good at it.

[PingRoundTheWorld]

2 hours ago, Kenny202 said:

asked me for 1200 baht to start an online business.

That in itself is suspicious as there is no legit online business you can start with only 1200 baht.

 

2 hours ago, Kenny202 said:

not only did I not get it back she hit me up for 10k a few weeks later to help her BF out of a jam.

This quote comes to mind: "help her when she's in trouble and she'll always think of you when she's in trouble". Help her once and she'll always come to you when she needs help, and if you refuse to help then the resentment kicks in. "He can afford it so why he not help".... Better to say no the first time and get it over with.

[remorhaz]

When Thais 'loan' money to each other they employ thugs who will threaten the other person to get the money back.  That is the only way to convince a Thai to pay back anything - physical pain unless it is done.  Thais have no sense of right or wrong and just do whatever they can get away with.  Since you have no enforcement mechanism and won't employ same for such a small amount there is nothing you can do.  Its a life lesson.  Now you know why we all get labeled cheap Charlies - we don't ever give money because we know we'll never get it back in an honest fashion.  On the bright side understand that if you ever do loan money to a Thai they have absolutely no respect for you and consider you a sucker, an idiot.  So why would any sane person pay money to be considered stupid?  Never lend money to a Thai without serious collateral and be prepared to turn whatever it is into cash once the first payment is missed (it will be along with a sad tale of a buffalo falling into a well or sick relative, whatever its all lies). 

[Seth1a2a]

If you can't get him to put up some type of collateral (right now), then why not set up a payment of 500bht/month for the next ten months with a signed agreement.

 Your reasoning would be the need for him to prove his sincerity based on the previous

false promises.

 Or press him to borrow it from another source because your mother desperately needs medication or surgery...etc

I have had success with these approaches in the past. Currently I only lend to immediate family.

...Would this person do the same for me ?

The answer would be 99.9% no because of the same reason he does not have money for his own needs.

Living beyond his means does not mean he gets to live beyond yours.  A former co-worker of mine with a 30,000bht tattoo who regularly drank a 6 pack a day while occasionally picking up expensive hookers 

came to me in desperation one day asking for 30000 bht to help pay his rent. I asked how much of it he had already. The answer was 400 bht.. He got upset when I explained why he could not pay me back even if he wanted to. Haven't heard from him since but it does prove the old saying that "Silence is Golden".....

Here's one who I did not need to pay to stay away from me and avoid my calls .

 

 

[Kadilo]

It happened to me once, to the “in laws”. 

 

I knew it was never coming back despite the 100% guarantee (lol)

 

Strangely enough it’s quite liberating as they know along with anyone else, that they can never ask again with out knowing what the answer will be. 

[Surasak]

My loan to a Thai was just after I moved here to live didn't really know the ropes. It was for the grand sum of 2000 Baht but I asked for collateral

. A nice TV was produced. It took 2 years for my money to be returned. I think I was lucky. I don't lend money now.

[473geo]

If I added up all the outgoings to assist others, would still come nowhere near the amount I have pissed down the drain, so I guess actually, money better spent!!

[Kadilo]

2 minutes ago, 473geo said:

If I added up all the outgoings to assist others, would still come nowhere near the amount I have pissed down the drain, so I guess actually, money better spent!!

That’s ok of it is actually assisting others and not getting pissed down the drain by them instead of you. 

[473geo]

Just now, Kadilo said:

That’s ok of it is actually assisting others and not getting pissed down the drain by them instead of you. 

Nah they have more sense ????

[Kadilo]

8 minutes ago, 473geo said:

Nah they have more sense ????

You really do see the best in people ????

its not a bad trait to have btw. 

 

[PerkinsCuthbert]

Many years ago I lend 10k to a Thai woman. With persistence I recovered about 6k in dribs and drabs in the year and a half afterwards; I felt I'd done well. Never lent again in the twenty-five years since.

[spidermike007]

My wife used to get asked all the time for a loan. Her friends knew she did not have financial worries, as I take good care of her, and we are financially stable. She has a very kind heart, and had a hard time saying no. I am always willing to lend money to her immediate family, as they are really good people, very trust worthy and honorable. I have lent them money several times, and it always gets repaid. Not always on time, but always repaid. But, when it comes to a more distant relative, or a friend, one has to be extremely particular. Some of my friends are super reliable. Others are not that way. I have been burned a few times. Usually, I am so persistent, so annoying, so difficult, that they end up returning the money, just to get their lives back. Usually. Trust is kind of like respect. For me, it is not something freely given. It has to be earned.

 

My wife ended getting ripped off by a few friends, who never even bothered to try to pay her back. Now, she will only lend money to a few people that she can really trust. I am the same way. 

 

In general, it is not an easy task getting money back from the average Thai. Not saying they are dishonest. Some of them just have different ideas about what constitutes ethical behavior! Maybe a good idea to ask for some sort of collateral, on a loan of any significant size?

 

If it were me in this case, I would walk away from the money, but make sure every last member of the family was aware of what this fool did, and warn them that he is dishonest, and not to be trusted. That is the least you can do to school him!

[Peter Denis]

4 hours ago, BritManToo said:

Mine steals money from my wallet, sometimes 100bht, sometimes a couple of 20s.

So I never have more than 200bht in my wallet now.

There's no logic to their behaviour.

Now I understand your suspicion the OP is being scammed.

Speaking personally, my girlfriend would never ever take money out of my wallet without asking, even though she knows I will always give it when she asks.  But this is the kind of decent behaviour that our relationship is built on.  Suspicion erodes the basis of trust.

[brian2f2f]

15 hours ago, baansgr said:

Never lend money in Thailand to Thai or Foreigner, you very unlikely to get it back...Thais never will,..why did he call your gf, why not his parents, wife, brother or sister....money is King and its gone 

Oh and a Thai asked me to 'borrow' them 1,000 today.....nah, no way, was polite i haven't got it.....even offered me her pussy...unbelievable

What did the pussy look like? Was it worth 1k baht? All jokes aside that makes it even worse and only proves they had no intention of repaying.

[worgeordie]

A loan in Thailand = a gift,especially if you are Farang.

regards Worgeordie

[OneMoreFarang]

Maybe someone should start a survey like: How much money did you lose over the years by lending money to Thais or foreigners. It seems many of us gave money to Thais and often we don't get it back. But it seems the biggest scammers are the farangs. They don't ask for 5,000B but probably minimum for 20k or 50k or more. So maybe at the end of the days Thais are not so bad compared with some of us.

[BritManToo]

19 minutes ago, Peter Denis said:

Suspicion erodes the basis of trust.

Not a problem for me as I never trust women.

Especially the ones in my bed.

[1FinickyOne]

18 hours ago, OneMoreFarang said:

What is your experience? How did you motivate people to pay money back? Asking nice? Pressure? What worked?

 

And yes, I know I shouldn't have done it.

My experience is that your actions are not really going to make a difference. You are not going to get blood out of a stone, or an intentional cheat, which this sounds more like. 

 

Loans are always toughest to refuse when they come with an "issue" and a promise to repay instantly..

 

And don't beat yourself up for doing something decent... you were a stand-up guy and now you know that htis person is not... I would just cut all contact and write them off... 

[neeray]

15 hours ago, OneMoreFarang said:

It's always amazing what some people read into some stories. I guess you also think every brother is really the boyfriend or husband and all of them always lie. Sometimes the brother is actually the brother and sometime people have to pay money to the Thai police to walk or drive away.

I'm with you on this theory (he actually is her brother, and her, like you, a victim). What I doubt is the cop situation. It sounds to me like bro wanted to do some gambling and just created the cop angle to sound credible and urgent.

 

Many TVF members seem to get stuck in a slot of narrow thinking.

[baansgr]

15 hours ago, 473geo said:

I disagree, sometimes helping somebody out is a good thing, even if the money is never repaid. I guess there are those who just cannot accept there are some less fortunate, or some who occasionally need a helping hand.

There will also be many who give because they don't like to loan. That I well understand.

Fine, agree, will buy them dinner and bottle of water...

[taninthai]

You lot must have married into the village lo so community,I have lent money to Thai friends always comes back...lent 300,000 to a fiend last November paid me back April and even offered me 10,000 bht extra as interest payment.

obviously lending people with no jobs is a no no.

on the other side I have also lent to a lazy arsed Thai girl and it didn’t come back......lol

[kevin612]

5000 baht to learn a lesson.