Elderly Mom with Alzheimer's Forced to Leave Thailand

[soalbundy]

18 hours ago, BadSpottedDog said:

What!? I think you missed some of this. We are paying EIGHTY SIX THOUSAND baht per MONTH for her care, plus meeting our own financial requirements for immigration. 86k per month is way way over the 65k requirement for her, but immigration does not recognize this because it is coming from us and not a foreign source. 

86k is a lot, I wonder how a Thai farmer would sort this situation out, pragmatic as they are probably with an accident.

[connda]

8 hours ago, ubonjoe said:

Correct but we need to know what type of visa or extension of stay the OP is on.

Most categories of extensions allow for a parent who is 50 or over to get an extension for being a member of their family without financial proof being required.

She has stage 6 Alzheimer's.  Why is this not considered a medical issue and a medical visa issued?  That's really confusing.  If Thailand is actually serious about being The Hub for medical tourism?  Long-term care of the disabled is a medical condition.  ????

[connda]

6 hours ago, Old Croc said:

What happens to the thousands of similar patients in the US who don't have financial support from relatives, and can't travel to a foreign country to get the reasonably priced care their own government should provide?

Are they put out on the street?

Have you seen the elderly 'crazies' on the streets of places like LA?  The answer is, "Yes, they are dumped on the streets."   The Most Exceptional Nation in the world and they can't take care of their own citizens, and a whole lot of low income elderly can not take care of themselves due to the excessive cost of healthcare in the US.  

[XenZen]

In S. Korea, I know there is a high amount of suicides among the elderly.  The kids don't want to take care of them, and their heart brakes (kidding, breaks).  Anyhow, she will be in this world for how much longer?  With stage 6, one more year on average?  two?  even if three, that's nothing......it will be super hard, but in 10-years you will still miss her dearly.  do what you must.  

[Jimbo1964]

Your story is heartbreaking. You would have thought that there would be some kind of compassionate or medical grounds that would allow for her to stay. Especially since the Thai's have so much respect for their elders! Afterall, it's not like she is a burden to the state. Good luck with the future, I hope life is easier for Mom and you, once she is in the Philippines. 

[RJRS1301]

Thank you for sharing your experiences.

I cannot begin to fully comprehend not only the financial toll you have experienced, but the emotional toll would be extraordinary.

 

I hope your next care facility for her goes well

 

You have done everything you possibly can. 

[soalbundy]

Just now, XenZen said:

In S. Korea, I know there is a high amount of suicides among the elderly.  The kids don't want to take care of them, and their heart brakes (kidding, breaks).  Anyhow, she will be in this world for how much longer?  With stage 6, one more year on average?  two?  even if three, that's nothing......it will be super hard, but in 10-years you will still miss her dearly.  do what you must.  

Miss her? she is no longer there, just the shell, which is what makes this illness so cruel. Many years ago I read an article from a pathologist in Germany, deaths of old people are rarely if ever examined carefully if they have died at home, he wrote that if a candle was lit on the grave of every old person killed by their relatives the graveyard would be as bright as day.

[XenZen]

2 minutes ago, soalbundy said:

Miss her? she is no longer there, just the shell, which is what makes this illness so cruel. Many years ago I read an article from a pathologist in Germany, deaths of old people are rarely if ever examined carefully if they have died at home, he wrote that if a candle was lit on the grave of every old person killed by their relatives the graveyard would be as bright as day.

trust me, i feel your pain.  not stage 6, yet, but trust me.....i have an idea what you are going through.  

 

a friend got "lucky," his dad passed right at the time when remembering his name was extremely challenging.  The same questions over and over, the bizarre anger and rage, sadness, mood swings..... 

 

but good news, it's not as hereditary as they first thought.  let's hope. 

[malibukid]

37 minutes ago, connda said:

Have you seen the elderly 'crazies' on the streets of places like LA?  The answer is, "Yes, they are dumped on the streets."   The Most Exceptional Nation in the world and they can't take care of their own citizens, and a whole lot of low income elderly can not take care of themselves due to the excessive cost of healthcare in the US.  

i understand that the U.S. gov. is offering to euthanize these elderly street people and that will be covered by Medicare.  coming attractions.

[Thingamabob]

Sorry to hear of your mum's problems however there are ways to get round them. I will not go into details here, but you could maybe try to be a bit more creative in order to find a solution.

[marcusarelus]

13 minutes ago, RJRS1301 said:

That was NOT even indicated in my post, one has to worry about your comprehension or poor attempt at humour

 

You replied to a post quoting German doctor in your previous post who said, "pathologist in Germany, deaths of old people are rarely if ever examined carefully if they have died at home, he wrote that if a candle was lit on the grave of every old person killed by their relatives the graveyard would be as bright as day."  Maybe you should try reading the posts you reply to as it may help your comprehension. 

 

I took care of my mother at a cost that broke me financially.  Dad didn't get her any long term health insurance,  Maybe they wanted to make sure I didn't have a decent retirement.  But I'd never kill my mother. 

Edited May 27, 2019 by marcusarelus

[NoshowJones]

20 hours ago, BritTim said:

This is a horrible situation, and it is really sad that you could not find a sympathetic senior immigration official who would work with you to find a solution. Frankly, this is one of those situations where skirting the law using agents seems to me a moral action. For around 20,000 baht a year, you can make all the immigration issues go away. There is a risk, but a small one if you choose the right agent.

Just what is the risk you mention? Nothing wrong with using an agent if the top brass in the Immigration are involved. 

[DogNo1]

Medicare in the US does not provide long-term care.  States provide some assistance but, in my sister's case, it is inadequate.  Family members must make frequent visits to check on her care and fill in the gaps.  I wanted to buy long-term care insurance for myself 20 years ago but couldn't because I live overseas.  If I have a stroke or develop Alzheimers, I only have my savings to rely on.

I suspect that the OP is an American and America has few decent options for people who are not wealthy.  Perhaps she could have found a solution for her mother if she had appealed for advice on TV earlier.  I hope that her mother will get on well in the PI.  It does seem that if she had selected the income method for her mother, she could have routed 65,000 worth of her mother's care from an overseas bank for transfer into her mother's bank account, or better yet, have gotten an extension of stay for her mother as a dependent.  This is all coulda, woulda, shoulda at this point. I hope that things go well for her from now on.

[marcusarelus]

7 minutes ago, DogNo1 said:

Medicare in the US does not provide long-term care.  States provide some assistance but, in my sister's case, it is inadequate.  Family members must make frequent visits to check on her care and fill in the gaps.  I wanted to buy long-term care insurance for myself 20 years ago but couldn't because I live overseas.  If I have a stroke or develop Alzheimers, I only have my savings to rely on.

I suspect that the OP is an American and America has few decent options for people who are not wealthy.  Perhaps she could have found a solution for her mother if she had appealed for advice on TV earlier.  I hope that her mother will get on well in the PI.  It does seem that if she had selected the income method for her mother, she could have routed 65,000 worth of her mother's care from an overseas bank for transfer into her mother's bank account, or better yet, have gotten an extension of stay for her mother as a dependent.  This is all coulda, woulda, shoulda at this point. I hope that things go well for her from now on.

The USA does provide long term care under Medicaid .  Check your facts.  Good or bad up to the due diligence of relatives in choosing a good nursing home. 

Edited May 27, 2019 by marcusarelus

[Sal Boto]

As long as you are without assets doesnt the USA govt pay for Nursing homes?

[marcusarelus]

3 minutes ago, Sal Boto said:

As long as you are without assets doesnt the USA govt pay for Nursing homes?

You can keep, primary residence

Personal property and household belongings

One motor vehicle

Life insurance with a face value under $1,500

Up to $1,500 in funds set aside for burial

Certain burial arrangements such as pre-need burial agreements

Assets held in specific kinds of trusts. See “Trusts” for more information about how a trust can affect your eligibility for Medicaid.

Edited May 27, 2019 by marcusarelus

[Tropposurfer]

Sorry to hear of the family ordeal.

sadly governments are heartless for the most part. Australia is a great example. I hope your Philippines move will prove a haven for your dear old mum.

[Letseng]

It may sound harsh, but could I get a visa to live in the US if I can't meet requirements?

Do you really think it is a good idea to shunt your mother from one foreign country to the next?  It won't help her mental state. Why not take her home to a familiar surrounding?  

[Benmart]

A sad story for sure.

 

I purchased long term care insurance, (good worldwide including Thailand where I retired), years ago and am still paying premiums at 67. Glad I did as my status could change in an instant. Other readers, If you don't have it and can get it, consider it.

[NoshowJones]

4 hours ago, Proboscis said:

The trouble with using agents in this way means breaking the law. And there is a risk that this will catch up with you. Different if you are a person with no dependents and in full possession of all your faculties. But I can understand the poster who would not want to have her mother with fast disimproving Alzheimers being arrested by Immigration and spending months alone in prison awaiting deportation because she "broke" some rule or other.

"The trouble with using agents in this way means breaking the law."

How do you make that out? The immigration top brass have got to sanction it and they are policemen.

If you can find any reports of anyone who has been convicted of breaking this law, whatever it is, I'm sure it would make interesting reading.

Edited May 27, 2019 by possum1931

[soalbundy]

Just now, Donaldo said:

Pathetic situation. Where are the comments from the Thai apologists who always try to absolve the Thai government from any wrong doing. I sincerely hope that everybody will eventually stay away. By then it will be to late to woo them back though.

I think the OP has gone down the wrong path, as someone else has suggested there is a visa for medical treatment and I'm sure that with some good will this could have been achieved, whatever.

[ubonjoe]

A off topic post and several posts that resulted from it have been removed. Time to get back on topic.

[darrendsd]

13 minutes ago, soalbundy said:

I think the OP has gone down the wrong path, as someone else has suggested there is a visa for medical treatment and I'm sure that with some good will this could have been achieved, whatever.

As far as I know these visas are only issued for a maximum of 90 days

 

I am happy to be corrected if i'm wrong

[ubonjoe]

2 minutes ago, darrendsd said:

As far as I know these visas are only issued for a maximum of 90 days

The can be issued up to 90 days back to back. There is not limit on the total extensions that can be issued.

[EricTh]

21 hours ago, BadSpottedDog said:

Thank you! We would do that, but now immigration is saying that 400k has to stay in the bank account for the whole year! Moving my Mom in a year will be even more difficult with her condition, so all the plans are in motion to move her Tuesday. No one really knows how much more severe the changes will be. Better safe than sorry. ????

There is another person with similar situation as you highlighted in this forum.

 

I suggest you put your mum as your dependent so she won't need a separate retirement visa.

 

Provided you are in Thailand with a retirement visa.

[darrendsd]

25 minutes ago, ubonjoe said:

The can be issued up to 90 days back to back. There is not limit on the total extensions that can be issued.

Thanks Joe but could they be used in a situation like this?

[ubonjoe]

1 minute ago, darrendsd said:

Thanks Joe but could they be used in a situation like this?

Yes but the primary requirement is for a doctor to state she is unable to travel.

[poka513]

Both of my parents died from dementia. Mom took care of dad at home by herself. Then later when the situation required it, me and mom moved in together so I could care for her. It was much harder than just taking care of an elderly person who is mentally OK. Dementia is a horrible disease, a slow downward slide into nothingness. Just as you find a solution for one problem, the situation changes and another problem emerges. Although I would probably not have been brave enough to move my mom overseas, I do think keeping them active doing new things for as long as possible helps to prolong life. In my mom's case, she broke a rib getting out of bed when I did not hear her. The doctor said to let her rest in bed and after 6 weeks she will be up and OK... mom died 6 weeks after seeing that doctor. That may have been good advice for a younger person, but it was the wrong thing to do for an elderly person with dementia. If practical, get them back on their feet and active again as soon as possible. If they stop wanting to eat or drink, you are in trouble. In the USA, anyone can call hospice for an evaluation. It does not have to come from a doctor. Best wishes.

[DogNo1]

I'm aware that states do provide long-term care under Medicaid but you must lose most of your assets.  My sister receives long-term care under Medicaid but it is inadequate.  A lot of her care must be done by family members.  I would not like to be in her situation.  I have had friends who have wasted away 6-7 years after having strokes.  It's a boring way to go.  My fear is having to live on for many years when it is not comfortable to live.

In the case of the OP, her mother is not reported to be uncomfortable even though she is bedridden with a broken leg which, I suppose, is good.  I hope that the OP will report on her mother's situation once she is settled in the PI.   I wonder how she will monitor her mother's care once she returns to Thailand.

[chainarong]

I wish you well , unfortunately you have no recourse when a country you call home changes the rules, there are many ways to kill the Golden Goose, Thailand has just found another, good luck.