Opinions

[Jingjock]

3 hours ago, 30la said:

learned that we are idiots, we know nothing and if we want to be "accepted" we must always keep the wallet open ...

Thats buying friendship, No thanks, not lowering myself to that level

[Jingjock]

8 minutes ago, TGIR said:

Sometimes it is difficult to understand why a lot of you live here.   If you hate the place so much why don't you go somewhere else?  

What do you mean, everwhere has its likes and dislikes, why I live here is my business, and I am allowed to voice my opinion

[crazykopite]

Treat them as the Village Idiots ????

[JaiLai]

Treat them as the Village Idiots ????

Yip, coz that’s exactly all they are.


Sent from my iPhone using Thailand Forum - Thaivisa mobile app

[rocketdave]

The old "lets go to my home" trips of yesteryear!

I was married to a Thai girl back in mid 80's and did a few home visits, even got married there. Then after a couple of years I noticed the odour of a large rodent!

Got up before dawn and said "lets go your home?" I could see this had caused mild consternation but off we went. Remember those halcyon days prior to mobile phones well this was they. I made sure that she never got to a pay phone saying that would spoil the surprise. We got off the taxi at the farmhouse, by now consternation had risen to panic! her two teenage kids ( one boy, one girl) were still in bed ( now after 1 o'clock in the afternoon.) It's a no school day I get told so I wander down to the Uncle's shop to have a beer, go straight past the shop and into the school where I talk to the English teacher, they haven't been to school in over two years he tells me, would I like to see the records, No thanks, I thank him profusely for his help and return to the farm via the Uncle's where I had a few beers and a few Mekongs.

Get back and tell the assembled family what I thought of them, I had paid for school fees, text books, uniform, sports gear, pens, paper and all.

I got a taxi to Hua Hin (the nearest town) stayed in a hotel overnight and came back to Paattaya the next day, packed the wife's junk up and left it at reception telling them she no longer lived there. One screaming match later she leaves, divorce took place a week later.

 

[Caldera]

OP, maybe you should have gone there sooner, you might just have reconsidered marrying someone who enjoys to score points at your expense. Or maybe you are being too serious about it, I honestly cannot tell.

 

I think visiting a Thai village is a great way to learn more about your Thai friends and love interests. So, unlike many others on here, I recommend going there. The earlier into a relationship, the better.

[bkkgriz]

On 6/4/2019 at 10:19 PM, BritManToo said:

Don't go there, there's nothing to do, it's too hot and uncomfortable and they're all primitive know nothing country bumpkins.

I went once, that was enough, never again.

Did we share a girlfriend? 

[connda]

On 6/4/2019 at 7:53 PM, Twigtom said:

Has anyone experienced about when you travel to the wife’s village that you are suddenly the village idiot? Even about items concerning your business or great knowledge, that you are laughed about and the wife is scoring points?

I have absolutely no internal "need" for Status or even Respect from the villagers. 

I know exactly who I  am.  If the villagers think I'm an idiot - hey, they are welcome to their opinion.
And in some ways that they can identify with, I am an idiot.  I can't plant or harvest rice all day, but my back is straight, I don't have construction skills, I can't fix my own car or motorcycle.  It was never work I did.  I feel no shame in that.
I have other skills.  I was paid to be a systems analyst until I retired.  
So I find it pretty humorous when someone with an IQ of 80 is comparing themselves with someone with an IQ over 120.  <laughs>

I'm not Thai and I do play that card.  It's the Farang Card - high wai children, low wai village puuyai - you're seen as an idiot.  Why not?  Caveat: I do have friends in the village and within those friendships there is respect both ways.  Yep, Respect is a two way street.

So, don't take it too personally. Shrug it off.  Thais make themselves feel 'special' by demeaning others. By being "Above" others.  By having more Status than others. It's baked into the culture. 

Stop playing their game.  You'll be happier. 

[connda]

2 minutes ago, connda said:

I have absolutely no internal "need" for Status or even Respect from the villagers. 

I know exactly who I  am.  If the villagers think I'm an idiot - hey, they are welcome to their opinion.
And in some ways that they can identify with, I am an idiot.  I can't plant or harvest rice all day, but my back is straight, I don't have construction skills, I can't fix my own car or motorcycle.  It was never work I did.  I feel no shame in that.
I have other skills.  I was paid to be a systems analyst until I retired.  
So I find it pretty humorous when someone with an IQ of 80 is comparing themselves with someone with an IQ over 120.  <laughs>

I'm not Thai and I do play that card.  It's the Farang Card - high wai children, low wai village puuyai - you're seen as an idiot.  Why not?  Caveat: I do have friends in the village and within those friendships there is respect both ways.  Yep, Respect is a two way street.

So, don't take it too personally. Shrug it off.  Thais make themselves feel 'special' by demeaning others. By being "Above" others.  By having more Status than others. It's baked into the culture. 

Stop playing their game.  You'll be happier. 

Actually, deliberately 'play' the Farang Idiot role.  Over-play the role.  It can be really amusing.  And it will help you get over yourself and those negative feelings.  Its a game - don't take it seriously at all. 

[lagavulin1]

On 6/5/2019 at 6:21 AM, Puchaiyank said:

Many village folk are ignorant and superstitious...they laugh at things they do not understand...

 

Show YOUR contempt...laugh back at them...????

Or better still wink at them. They won't have a clue. 

[connda]

6 minutes ago, lagavulin1 said:

Or better still wink at them. They won't have a clue. 

Shaking hands is fun.  

[connda]

On 6/5/2019 at 6:21 AM, Puchaiyank said:

Many village folk are ignorant and superstitious...they laugh at things they do not understand...

 

Tell them you see ghosts. Tell them you can see the ghosts of recently departed villagers and, even better, that you can channels those spirits.  It has an interesting effect.  ????  Use your imagination.  

[connda]

4 hours ago, kenk24 said:

building a compound with the family

You built an enclave in the village.  Hummm ????

[BritManToo]

28 minutes ago, connda said:

comparing themselves with someone with an IQ over 120.  <laughs>

That low?

[Rimmer]

A troll post has been removed

[Jimbo1964]

Can't say I have. My Thai family and their friends have always been very welcoming and tried to communicate with me. (Even if only hand gestures, like food, drink, sleep, follow me etc in the early days) Over time I have got get better at speaking Thai and they now complain that they can't gossip about me anymore..... 

Are you sure they are talking about you? If they are taking the piss, then it's time to stop going and perhaps re-evaluate your relationship if your wife is doing it too.

 

Remember face is very important here and if she isn't giving you face, especially in front of her family and friends, then time to move on. After all there are plenty more out there.

[connda]

1 hour ago, TGIR said:

Sometimes it is difficult to understand why a lot of you live here.   If you hate the place so much why don't you go somewhere else?  

That's Plan B.  You should have a "Plan B" too.  After about 2000 or 3000 posts on TV, you may start echoing the rest of us.  You've got a ways to go.  

[Caine]

3 hours ago, jingjai9 said:

I think visiting the wife's village is a good way to assess her character. If you are sure she is a facilitator in making you the target of jokes and ridicule, what does that mean??????? You are perhaps reminded of the choice you made to marry her.

 

If you cannot speak fluent Thai, then there is a degree of speculation on your part. I know from experience the education of your partner can be a large factor in these kinds of situations. I had both an uneducated country bumpkin as a wife and an educated lady as well. The experiences were like night and day.

 

I think most guys who marry the village ladies are not surprised when they have to wade through the ignorance. However, when you marry for sex or beauty, this is another way you pay for the sex.

 

I know I speak in generalities but I gauge my story against the many stories I've heard from friends and acquaintances. The guys who married the older, every day looking ladies seem to fare much better than the old fart with the young tart.

You also married an educated Thai lady, rubbish no such animal exists on the planet.

[connda]

17 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

That low?

Maybe lower.  "shhhh"  Alzheimer's! Don't tell Immigration!!!

[Humpy]

I don't know what villages you guys have been visiting but I've been living in a village in the Mahasarakham area for nearly twenty years and the village folk are the kindest and friendliest you would wish to meet. I thought that the house I had built with it's  large lawns and a pool would perhaps upset a few folk but no on the contrary.  Maybe a lot of guys can't get used to the lack of beer bars and long for the traffic noise as they slurp beer at 11 o/c each morning, in singlet vests, and stubbing their fags out every five minutes  !!

[Ctkong]

4 hours ago, MikeN said:

What sort of timeline are we talking about ? Perhaps when you first went there you were treated with respect as a guest (or they did not want to scare the ATM away).

 Now they see you as truly part of the family and as much of a fair target  for jokes and criticisms as the rest of them are ( or they think the wife has got the ATM secured).

 Just laugh along with them, and when the opportunity arises turn the tables by making fun of one of them or your wife. If they laugh along with you then it is because you are now truly part of the family ( and if they don’t perhaps they think the ATM is getting angry and about to close down)

Maybe the relatives are laughing at the remarks made by your wife about you . I find the wife normally make fun of any situation that put her family in a less favorable light so as not to embarrass her relatives. So the person she can make fun of is unfortunately you and those laughs from the relatives are just deprecating laughs not mean at all. Thais laugh when they are embarrassed, wrong, put in a spot or any unfavorable situation that they are caught in . They just try to laugh their problem away. 

[Ctkong]

3 hours ago, Speedhump said:

And sleep with one eye open afterwards. 

With the back towards the wall and face facing the door. 

[beautifulthailand99]

On 6/4/2019 at 2:19 PM, BritManToo said:

Don't go there, there's nothing to do, it's too hot and uncomfortable and they're all primitive know nothing country bumpkins.

I went once, that was enough, never again.

They heard you punting Brexit and even in the backwaters of uneducated Thailand they couldn't resist having a larf at the staggering ignorance.....they're not that stupid.????????

[pi2005ni]

I have visited many families in their rural village and never had anything other than good experience from very nice people. There maybe  is a reason why the op is looked upon as the local fool . 

[Monkeyrobot]

How do we know you were not an Idiot before you left for your trip to “The Village” No Pun intended ????

[Lacessit]

I keep myself to myself when I am in my GF's village. My GF's immediate family are the only people I see on a regular basis there.

I see no reason to try to ingratiate myself with villagers. Why should I concern myself with the good opinion of someone who has never been outside Thailand, and who lets off fireworks to frighten away evil spirits when someone dies? Whose life experience consists of planting and harvesting rice twice a year?

[thaiguzzi]

On 6/5/2019 at 6:27 AM, steven100 said:

I know what you mean .... some has to do with miscommunication or not understanding english or farang not understanding thai ....

Laugh back and think to yourself about how ignorant and uneducated they are.

Right.

Gotchya now.

You are the guy that loves Prayut and the Junta.

Thinks they are wonderful.

Explains everything now, thanks.

On 6/5/2019 at 6:27 AM, steven100 said:

Laugh back and think to yourself about how ignorant and uneducated they are.

 

[DJ54]

I live in a village it’s probably they don’t understand and laugh

to relieve themselves. Sometimes when your visiting the village 

the term “Don’t think to much” should apply and try to enjoy the

visit. ....

[Captain 776]

3 hours ago, connda said:

Shaking hands is fun.  

Like gripping a limp dish rag

[Lacessit]

6 minutes ago, Captain 776 said:

Like gripping a limp dish rag

I've found some of the firmest handshakes come from people trying to separate me from my money.