Why Thai Isaan women marry Western men

[GreasyFingers]

The comments below are not my thoughts but from a Thai lady staying in a small resort next to us. My wife was working in a our extended garden and the woman came over for a chat. She could not understand why she was working as she said the women in Isaan married to a farang "never worked, just played cards, watched tv, got drunk and never cooked but went out to restaurants for meals."

That is the reason this woman believed Isaan girls married farangs.

[marcusarelus]

28 minutes ago, Gecko123 said:

But why, oh, why, must it always take them having a passel of pickaninnies before they figure this out?

 

- from 'A Farang's Lamen

"A passel of pickaninnies?"  You must have been quite a teacher.  No racism there is there ????????

[473geo]

2 hours ago, transam said:

Perhaps freedom from poverty....?

Freedom from serfdom probably just as, if not more important

[Gecko123]

10 minutes ago, Tagged said:

They are good at sweet talking, very good, and girls falls for it. Remember, they like the bad guys to have sex with, and a good caretaker to take care of their kids. 

 

Poor girls often do not have much choices, and they have needs to. Why do you think so many western fall for simple sweet talk as well? It is a game you need to understand, and only one way by learning. 

I think my post may have been misinterpreted, understandably because it was probably too oblique. What I meant to say is that the clichéd comments you always hear about all Thai men being worthless layabouts, rather than being true, are more often than not just sob stories designed to flatter a foreign guy's self-image as a knight in shinning armour come to rescue his village damsel in distress.

 

If Thai men were as haplessly inadequate as husbands and providers as some have been led to believe, why would Thai women not shun them and just find themselves a good farang man in the first place?  The truth is that the vast majority of Thai women prefer being married to Thai men, the majority of Thai men are reasonably good husbands, and just as many first marriages with Thai men end because of problems the wife has brought to the table. 

[Gecko123]

15 minutes ago, marcusarelus said:

"A passel of pickaninnies?"  You must have been quite a teacher.  No racism there is there ????????

The word 'pickaninnies' was used with full awareness of its offensiveness. What you failed to appreciate, and might have picked up on if you had more carefully read my post, is that I attributed the comment to 'A Farang's Lament,'  in an effort to mock the neo-colonial superiority and racism of posters who have bought into the myth that they are here to rescue the local women from the local men.

[Scouse123]

3 hours ago, richard_smith237 said:

Thats what she told you just before she told you she loves you, right?

 

Absolutely not,

 

25 years of observation told me.

[allanos]

I am not sure why the OP designed his question around Isaan (Issan) women; the thrust would appear to relate to the whole of Thai femininity.

 

Fact is, Issan is the largest province in the country with the biggest population, therefore the odds are strong that the majority of the Thai ladies that a foreigner (farang) meets will have come from there, and thus his experience becomes rooted in Issan females, as opposed to those from other provinces.

 

Issan girls are really no different from all the rest. Therefore, the foundational topic for the dissertation referred to was faulty in its concept, and claptrap.

[Lacessit]

2 hours ago, bluesofa said:

But, but, I'm thin and ugly. What is my attraction?

I'm tossing up between a large wallet and a large todger.

[rumak]

9 minutes ago, Gecko123 said:

in an effort to mock the neo-colonial superiority and racism of posters who have bought into the myth

gecko.....gecko !  this is thaivisa forum !   If you want to be understood by the masses please limit the comments to one line attempts at sarcasm .  (such as this example)

[Scouse123]

46 minutes ago, GreasyFingers said:

The comments below are not my thoughts but from a Thai lady staying in a small resort next to us. My wife was working in a our extended garden and the woman came over for a chat. She could not understand why she was working as she said the women in Isaan married to a farang "never worked, just played cards, watched tv, got drunk and never cooked but went out to restaurants for meals."

That is the reason this woman believed Isaan girls married farangs.

 

 

It is an accurate statement of the belief of many in the villages. They have even asked me why we don't have a maid and a gardener.

 

Fortunately, my other half takes little notice, is very well traveled, not taken in by the old chestnut in the village of ' Listen to me, I am older ' crap and washes, cleans, irons and cooks. I do the money side of things, the supermarkets, and help around the house with anything I am asked to do. We work together as normal couples do. Teamwork.

 

When her acquaintances arrive, ( these are not friends )  usually on the scrounge, she invites them to help around the garden or house, at which point they suddenly remember they have something urgent to do. Her strategy has taken a long while, but it is working as they appear less and less.

 

She has found in the past that whenever outside labor has been used, the job is not up to her satisfaction or they try it on constantly for additional monies.

 

A weird concept in Isaarn, or where I live, is that if they have mowed the lawns and cleaned the gardens and been decently paid up for the job,that somehow that entitles them to constantly come back and try to borrow afterwards.

Edited July 7, 2019 by Scouse123

[marcusarelus]

18 minutes ago, Gecko123 said:

The word 'pickaninnies' was used with full awareness of its offensiveness. What you failed to appreciate, and might have picked up on if you had more carefully read my post, is that I attributed the comment to 'A Farang's Lament,'  in an effort to mock the neo-colonial superiority and racism of posters who have bought into the myth that they are here to rescue the local women from the local men.

We all know what you meant and the terms used to convey a general distaste for Thai people and folks from Issan in particular.  Perhaps you don't realize the subconscious choice you made and what it means but some of us are quite psychologically sophisticated.  

[allanos]

The word piccanin, or piccanniny, has come to have a racially derogatory meaning in North America, and possibly Australia, but is not so in other parts of the world. 

 

It's meaning is "small", and is still commonly used in Southern Africa, and is also used in the sense when calling a toilet a "PK", meaning Pickanin Khaya (small house).

 

 

[bkk6060]

58 minutes ago, GreasyFingers said:

The comments below are not my thoughts but from a Thai lady staying in a small resort next to us. My wife was working in a our extended garden and the woman came over for a chat. She could not understand why she was working as she said the women in Isaan married to a farang "never worked, just played cards, watched tv, got drunk and never cooked but went out to restaurants for meals."

That is the reason this woman believed Isaan girls married farangs.

I know a few Falang married to TG who do this.

But, you forgot to add they are also having sex with Thai guys while the hubby is away, or in town, or whatever.

[geoffbezoz]

Just now, bkk6060 said:

I know a few Falang married to TG who do this.

But, you forgot to add they are also having sex with Thai guys while the hubby is away, or in town, or whatever.

Do you have photos to prove your point please ????????

[NoshowJones]

5 hours ago, Isaan sailor said:

Back in our home countries—we’re invisible to beautiful women.  In Thailand—we’re rock stars...

In my case a country music star. ????

[rickudon]

Some old fallacies here. In the past, the only way a girl from Isaan got to meet a farang was by working in the tourist hot spots, and obviously where they got the most contact was when working in a bar. How many of you have chatted up the maid cleaning the rooms, the hotel receptionist or a shop assistant?

And, of course, most of them are working at these places because they need money - for themselves, their children or their parents. They are not there because they like the place. A farang man offers them a nice steady income and the opportunity to live at home, or the opportunity to work in a richer country.

 

BUT this is not the only way now. My sister-in-law has many friends with farang partners. They get them from the internet, no need to go to Pattaya anymore .... except for a holiday! The only girls still doing the Pattaya bargirl route are those in desperate need of quick money or with no computer/foreign language skills.

 

And this is now a major cottage industry up here. First of all the girls hope for true love with their Thai boyfriends, but after being used, abused and dumped (especially after having a baby) a few times they see a bleak future on the horizon. Not many well paid jobs up here, for them or a possible Thai husband. Some make it, but a lot will not. Marrying a farang is a career choice with a good paycheck.

I think i am one of only 2 or 3 farang living in the village. But while i have been here there have been about a dozen weddings, with the girls going back to the mans home country. Some may have built a house somewhere else instead.

 

The bargirl route may have started it, but the idea of the farang husband is not an unusual choice anymore.

[bkk6060]

1 minute ago, rickudon said:

The only girls still doing the Pattaya bargirl route are those in desperate need of quick money or with no computer/foreign language skills.

You must never have been to Pattaya as your

comment is completely false.

[marcusarelus]

1 hour ago, GreasyFingers said:

The comments below are not my thoughts but from a Thai lady staying in a small resort next to us. My wife was working in a our extended garden and the woman came over for a chat. She could not understand why she was working as she said the women in Isaan married to a farang "never worked, just played cards, watched tv, got drunk and never cooked but went out to restaurants for meals."

That is the reason this woman believed Isaan girls married farangs.

I'm married to an Issan lady and her two closest associates are also from Issan.  They are engineers and work for Samsung at Maptaphut.  I stay home and play cards, watch TV and never work.  

[bluesofa]

56 minutes ago, Lacessit said:

3 hours ago, bluesofa said:

But, but, I'm thin and ugly. What is my attraction?

I'm tossing up between a large wallet and a large todger

I hadn't realised I'd got you so excited to start tossing.

It's definitely not a large wallet, as I have no money at all. I'm a kept man.

[473geo]

55 minutes ago, Gecko123 said:

I think my post may have been misinterpreted, understandably because it was probably too oblique. What I meant to say is that the clichéd comments you always hear about all Thai men being worthless layabouts, rather than being true, are more often than not just sob stories designed to flatter a foreign guy's self-image as a knight in shinning armour come to rescue his village damsel in distress.

 

If Thai men were as haplessly inadequate as husbands and providers as some have been led to believe, why would Thai women not shun them and just find themselves a good farang man in the first place?  The truth is that the vast majority of Thai women prefer being married to Thai men, the majority of Thai men are reasonably good husbands, and just as many first marriages with Thai men end because of problems the wife has brought to the table. 

There are many teenage pregnancies in Thailand, same as anywhere kids experimenting, just in Thailand prevention does not appear to be widely publicised, more a case as with prostitution sex isn't happening.

The majority of these pregnancies end up with a village wedding for 'face' a payment to the girl and family.

 

Now there are two ways the 'marriage' goes, the good Thai guy sticks around, provides for his wife and child, or the 2nd path he just quietly moves on.......

 

The ladies who are looking to 'impress a farang' would not come from the first group of happily married being taken care of Thai girls.....

 

Leaving the deserted ladies in many cases who are meeting farangs, therefore speaking from experience, so, while recounting their 'sob stories' may well 'flatter the farang' and launch his 'knight in shining armour' routine makes the stories no less true

 

Though i agree too many cliches sucked up by farangs especially regarding Thai ladies

 

[Lacessit]

6 minutes ago, bluesofa said:

I hadn't realised I'd got you so excited to start tossing.

It's definitely not a large wallet, as I have no money at all. I'm a kept man.

Congratulations. I'm green with envy, being average size.

Tossing is not something I have had to do in Thailand. It would be like an alcoholic swearing off in a brewery.

 

[bkk6060]

26 minutes ago, marcusarelus said:

I'm married to an Issan lady and her two closest associates are also from Issan.  They are engineers and work for Samsung at Maptaphut.  I stay home and play cards, watch TV and never work.  

As it should be.

Good job!

[Tagged]

1 hour ago, Gecko123 said:

 

If Thai men were as haplessly inadequate as husbands and providers as some have been led to believe, why would Thai women not shun them and just find themselves a good farang man in the first place?  The truth is that the vast majority of Thai women prefer being married to Thai men, the majority of Thai men are reasonably good husbands, and just as many first marriages with Thai men end because of problems the wife has brought to the table. 

For a "used marked" village woman, their is not many choices left for them, thats what I ment, and as I earlier stated, the good educated men, already left the village, and it is the boys, the parents often is villing to spend their lottery ticket on for the future as well, and the girls is left behind to take care of the family. 

 

My gf brother, have his own family to care for, and it was he who got the lottery ticket. In general, the men left behind, have no hope for the future, but some try. I also se some good thai husbands in the village fooled by their wifes, so I guess, rural poor people do what they are best at. 

[bluesofa]

1 hour ago, allanos said:

I am not sure why the OP designed his question around Isaan (Issan) women; the thrust would appear to relate to the whole of Thai femininity.

 

Fact is, Issan is the largest province in the country with the biggest population, therefore the odds are strong that the majority of the Thai ladies that a foreigner (farang) meets will have come from there, and thus his experience becomes rooted in Issan females, as opposed to those from other provinces.

 

Issan girls are really no different from all the rest. Therefore, the foundational topic for the dissertation referred to was faulty in its concept, and claptrap.

Except of course, the fact is that Issan is not a province. IIRC it's twenty provinces.

 

Edited July 7, 2019 by bluesofa
addendum

[Mavideol]

maybe for the same reason Thai Isaan men marry Western women and any other race vice versa, some call it love and they also say love is blind.... as long as they are happy who are we to challenge or criticize

[BadBouy]

This must be the"cosmopolitan couple" they mentioned in the article.

On 7/4/2019 at 5:02 PM, NCC1701A said:

from the story:

 

 

[bkk6060]

15 minutes ago, Mavideol said:

maybe for the same reason Thai Isaan men marry Western women 

Boy, I most certainly would like to see the stats on that...

[Lacessit]

1 hour ago, allanos said:

 

Issan girls are really no different from all the rest. Therefore, the foundational topic for the dissertation referred to was faulty in its concept, and claptrap.

Depends on how one looks at it. Physically, I've observed Issan women are quite different to most north-western Thai women ( Chiang Mai, Chiang Rai ) in terms of skin colour and build - usually darker and heftier. I'm not going to argue the mindset is any different.

[Mavideol]

6 minutes ago, bkk6060 said:

Boy, I most certainly would like to see the stats on that...

next to me, 2 couples, 1 USA lady and 1 Ukrainian lady all together 5 kids, older one 19 years old

[bkk6060]

1 minute ago, Mavideol said:

next to me, 2 couples, 1 USA lady and 1 Ukrainian lady all together 5 kids, older one 19 years old

Ok thanks that is two.

Like I said, I would like to see the stats on it.

Maybe you are right I just have not seen it in my Isaan travels.