1) Heard at the F.C. friday.

Customer: "Australian G.P. qualifying tomorrow".

Yorky: " Is it? I knew today is Friday, but I didn't realise tomorrows Saturday"

2) On the phone

" Hello. It's Martin"

" When are you coming back?"

" 6 oclock this evening"

" I thought you were coming back this afternoon"

" OK; 6 oclock this afternoon"

" Good......that's better"

On the phone:

F*t G*t - do you remember I asked you to get me some wholewheat flour?

Yorkie - no.

F*t G*t - well, forget about it.

Yorkie - why are you ringing me to tell me to forget something I've already forgotten.

1) Heard at the F.C. friday.

Customer: "Australian G.P. qualifying tomorrow".

Yorky: " Is it? I knew today is Friday, but I didn't realise tomorrows Saturday"

an update on the conversation

[16:43] <yorky> the transcript he posted was not quite correct

[16:43] <blonco> close enough to me

[16:44] <yorky> "i know the qualifying is on saturday but i didn't realise that today was friday"

[16:44] <yorky> is the correct quote

[16:44] <blonco> are you sure?

[16:44] <yorky> yes

[16:44] <blonco> what day did you think it was then?

[16:44] <blonco> Monday

[16:45] <yorky> i've not been able to remember fridays since we stopped going ont'piss on thirstdays

[16:45] <yorky> no idea

[16:45] <yorky> i rarely do know what day it is

[16:45] <yorky> mainly cause i couldn't give a sh!t

[16:45] <blonco> monday was yesterday so how could the F1 qualifying be tomorrow?

[16:46] <yorky> i said 'saturday' not tomorra

[16:46] <blonco> tomorra is wednesday

[16:46] <yorky> i've figured that out now

[16:46] <yorky> but i'll forget tomorra

[16:46] <blonco> the F1 is over anyway

2) On the phone

" Hello. It's Martin"

" When are you coming back?"

" 6 oclock this evening"

" I thought you were coming back this afternoon"

" OK; 6 oclock this afternoon"

" Good......that's better"

At the F.C., last Saturday night...

Yorky : "But seriously, most Thai women find me attractive!"

:D

Not exactly in a bar but with reference to such a place.

Overheard in the office of an international engineering and construction company.

"I find that the girls in the gogo bars pay you much closer attention if you are wearing a neck tie, they think you are someone important.

The retort in a gruff east end London accent "I find waving a five hundred in the air works much better".