Thailand will be lonely too !

[georgegeorgia]

If your lonely in your Farang Country then you will be lonely in Thailand too

 

there is a guy at my work here in Australia, 62yo, divorced lives by himself, kids grown up and hardly see him,  and works all the overtime he can get....because as he said to me, he’s lonely by himself .

 

He goes to Thailand twice a year , manly Ko Samui, Phuket etc 

 

the other night working with him he tells me he is thinking if retiring and going to live in Thailand, where he will have fun everyday and be “busy”

 

As he was telling me the story i flashbacked to a few years ago where i never forget the sight of a skinny Belgium guy in a small room in Pattaya who had done the same thing, moved away from his family and friends and left the job he loved to go to the dream or greener pastures of Pattaya only to find he was lonely after the novelty wore off, he was being treated for depression and being taken to hospital 

 

Now Steve my workmate thinks somehow as he is lonely now he will be somehow have a exciting life if he ups everything and moves to Thailand 

 

that holiday experience of going to bars everynight etc just doesn’t happen once you move there

 

If your lonely and bored in Farangland, guess what, your eventually going to be lonely & bored in Thailand too

 

i hope i talked him out of it 

Edited September 28, 2019 by georgegeorgia

[jastheace]

so correct. Thailand should not be considered as greener pastures, only as pastures new. hope he listened to ya

[ivor bigun]

Luckily i have never been lonly,but The bar scene soon fades,its boreing after a time,my life here is basically the same as it was back home,we shop,do the garden go visiting,just in a much better climate,if you are lonely back home,you cant change things by living here,its up to you to make friends.

Sent from my SM-A720F using Thailand Forum - Thaivisa mobile app

[daoyai]

If lonely there will be lonely here? Than so what, at least he will have made his own decision, hope you didn't talk him out of it. Will it be worse? maybe he can make new friends here, we really never know what the future holds.

[Kadilo]

The difference is in your analogy he has no friends or family to miss so what’s he got to lose? 

 

I hope he comes and finds out for himself. 

 

Maybe there is a tinge of jealousy as you’re still working back home. 

[brokenbone]

i kept going out on gogo for  a decade,

hope he gets a good pension

[CharlieH]

Big difference in visiting somewhere for a few weeks or a month, staying in nice hotels, pocket full of cash, easy access to pretty women etc, typical "holiday romance illusion" BUT it aint real !!!

It's an illusion designed to be a short term escape and anyone basing a relocation on that or any holiday destination needs to think again and think hard.

The reality, when it bites can be devastating for some, Thailand is no short term fix and relocating here is not easy and  it takes a particular mindset to succeed, and of course, adequate long term health & financial planning.

Without either of those, disaster will lurk and can wipe you out in an emotional and financial tsunami !

[Puchaiyank]

Your whole premise is so wrong...I was lonely in farangland because the available female were mostly morbidly obese...still wanted a man to treat them like a princess sharing their valuable time with you...being alone there was the best option.

 

Thailand has 10s of thousands of attractive, petite, available and approachable women ready to make your day...

 

If one is lonely in Thaìland...it is because they either choose to be alone...or do not have the initiative to seek out a fun partner...

[1FinickyOne]

There is a lot on offer here beyond the bars... learn the language, learn the culture - - for me Thai people are endlessly fun and interesting... they are engaging... and easy to meet and befriend... accept and embrace the differences - - and you won't be lonely. 

[WalkingOrders]

My guess is he cannot find suitable female companionship in Australia at age 62, and if he comes to Thailand he hopes to find a lovely thai wife 20 years younger to fill the void, and give him some love. It worked for me. Leave it up to him to know whats best for him. And another thing, this idea that coming to Thailand means you can never leave is bs. You can always leave, even if you are 80 years old and decide you want to try Colombia for awhile. There are adventurers in this world, who are men, and live their lives as the see fit.

[neeray]

1 hour ago, Puchaiyank said:

Your whole premise is so wrong...I was lonely in farangland because the available female were mostly morbidly obese...still wanted a man to treat them like a princess sharing their valuable time with you...being alone there was the best option.

 

Thailand has 10s of thousands of attractive, petite, available and approachable women ready to make your day...

 

If one is lonely in Thaìland...it is because they either choose to be alone...or do not have the initiative to seek out a fun partner...

Award for BEST POST of the thread. Couldn't have said it better myself.

 

Buddy should just but out (or is that butt out?) and let the co-worker live out his dream.

[georgegeorgia]

3 hours ago, Puchaiyank said:

Your whole premise is so wrong...I was lonely in farangland because the available female were mostly morbidly obese...still wanted a man to treat them like a princess sharing their valuable time with you...being alone there was the best option.

 

Thailand has 10s of thousands of attractive, petite, available and approachable women ready to make your day...

 

If one is lonely in Thaìland...it is because they either choose to be alone...or do not have the initiative to seek out a fun partner...

I dont agree...most are just after money or want paying for their time.

What if he goes to Pattaya?

real relationship there??

 

 

 

I suggested he try the Phillipines for real love

Edited September 29, 2019 by georgegeorgia

[ianezy0]

Hmmm...

I moved here from Australia

I am 62

I am divorced

I hardly see my lad (in the UK)

I was lonely in Australia

And now.....woohoooo..... I am living in Thailand. Best place for a coffee and people watching. Plenty to do. Plenty to laugh at.

 

so don’t  be to concerned about your mate. If you are a genuine mate, buy him a ticket and push him on the plane ????

[NCC1701A]

news flash everybody. try not drinking.

 

alcohol is a depressant and even one beer will drag your mood down. 

 

stay out of bars unless you are looking for a short term pleasure chemical fix.

 

and stop trying to find a woman who is going to fix you. it does not work that way. 

 

fantastic here in Thailand.

 

[Skallywag]

3 hours ago, CharlieH said:

Big difference in visiting somewhere for a few weeks or a month, staying in nice hotels, pocket full of cash, easy access to pretty women etc, typical "holiday romance illusion" BUT it aint real !!!

It's an illusion designed to be a short term escape and anyone basing a relocation on that or any holiday destination needs to think again and think hard.

The reality, when it bites can be devastating for some, Thailand is no short term fix and relocating here is not easy and  it takes a particular mindset to succeed, and of course, adequate long term health & financial planning.

Without either of those, disaster will lurk and can wipe you out in an emotional and financial tsunami !

First paragraph agree.

Not sure how you come up with "relocating here not easy" Most people I know from AZ USA have never relocated out of the city they were born in.  So for someone like that am sure it would be difficult.

I did not find relocating here all that difficult, yet had moved several times in my life.  Never been attached to any heirlooms or momentos, so just sold stuff and came here with 2 - 22 kilo suitcases.

 

Of course, you must realize, that anyone without "adequate long term health and financial planning" will certainly have a hard time living/retiring  anywhere in our world

[Skallywag]

23 minutes ago, NCC1701A said:

news flash everybody. try not drinking.

 

alcohol is a depressant and even one beer will drag your mood down. 

 

stay out of bars unless you are looking for a short term pleasure chemical fix.

 

and stop trying to find a woman who is going to fix you. it does not work that way. 

 

fantastic here in Thailand.

 

Agree to disagree here, am actually finding women who temporarily "fix me" ???? 

 

Also enjoy a beer or 2 frequently.  Luckily I also drink Coffee too much.  So cure the depressant with an antidepressant . got the Yin and the Yang going 

 

 

But thanks for the reality check, I do need to continue to grow and evolve in my lifestyle 

 

[BritManToo]

5 hours ago, georgegeorgia said:

If your lonely and bored in Farangland, guess what, your eventually going to be lonely & bored in Thailand too

I haven't found that,

 

Lonely

For the first month I had an assortment of women in my bed every night.

And a woman (LTR) living with me since then (not always the same woman).

 

Bored

I like to hike and cycle, in the UK it was often too wet or cold, so I was bored at home.

Here I can go out nearly every day, and with the kids (from first LTR), not a moment to myself.

[BritManToo]

4 hours ago, Puchaiyank said:

If one is lonely in Thaìland...it is because they either choose to be alone...or do not have the initiative to seek out a fun partner...

I've generally found they hunted me down, captured me, then moved in.

All I had to do was sit on a bar stool for a day or two.

Edited September 29, 2019 by BritManToo

[Skallywag]

53 minutes ago, georgegeorgia said:

I suggested he try the Phillipines for real love

Real love in PI ?   Am sure that is true for some foreigners - haha 

 

[NCC1701A]

more like "What's Money Got to do With It:

 

 

Edited September 29, 2019 by NCC1701A

[NCC1701A]

and Addicted to Pleasure Chemicals:

 

 

Edited September 29, 2019 by NCC1701A

[spidermike007]

I consider your entire premise to be faulty, and without much merit. Nearly every friend I have in the US is single. Why? Because for a man in the US, who is past the age of 50, unless he is willing to get with a woman at least his age, his prospects are dim for finding love, or companionship. Some guys like me, simply prefer younger women. Not kids, but women who are 5, 10, 15, even 20 or 25 years younger than us. For a dozen very valid reasons. I could break them down, but why bother? The PC crew will jump on this and say it is not right. You should not be able to have this kind of life, without jumping over ridiculous hurdles! Means nothing to me. I do not do PC. Why be with a woman our age, if we do not need to? Nothing wrong with it, if it works for you. But It is virtually impossible for a 60 year old man in the US, to hook up with a 36 year old woman, unless she is very fat or very ugly, or he is a centi millionaire, or is famous. Period. It just does not happen in this day and age.

 

Here it is possible. Granted he will likely get with a woman of lesser means, who needs a guy who can provide some financial stability. So what? Who cares? Most women want financial stability anywhere in the world, whether they admit it or not. The difference is here the women are more honest about their financial needs and desires. I know a lot of men who have engaged in relationships with lovely, kind, supportive, humorous, and sexy women here, who are no longer lonely. We have very good lives. Fulfilling lives. Lives we could never dream of having back in the US, Oz, NZ, UK, Canada, or Scandinavia. 

 

The trick is to take your time. Only by taking your time and really getting to know her, will you be able to develop a sense of her sincerity, who she is, where she comes from, what she is made of, whether or not she is emotionally developed enough to be engaging, and what kind of family she has. Most women here like to push the agenda, and move the timetable forward. For me, the trick is all about pushing back, and making it known, that I need time to get to know you. If that does not work for you, time to move on. If it does, let's pursue this, and see where it goes.

 

I found a woman here who is joyful, playful and light hearted. She is the same lovely woman from one day to the next. It is a level of emotional consistency I never found in the US. She has a smile on her face when she wakes up in the morning. Never experienced that in the states. Some Thais manifest that unbearable lightness of being, that is so delightful to be around. I cannot really get enough of that spirit, and feel so blessed to be around that, and to have found such a well adjusted and delightful creature. Granted, even though she is very smart, I do not get much intellectual stimulation from the relationship. But, I get so much else. And in all of the relationships I was ever in with really smart women, who I got intellectual stimulation from, there was also so much grief to contend with. Such combative women. So much competition and so many arguments. Yikes. We do not give each other a hard time. There is alot of mutual kindness. Thrilled to death to have left all of that nonsense, and conflict behind. 

 

When I was only in this relationship for a year or so, I had dinner with a very sharp American friend. I asked him about that. He laughed. He said, when you feel the need for intellectual stimulation, call me. We can hook up for a meal, and break down the origins of the cosmos, we can discuss physics, quantum theory, or whatever you feel like talking about. Do not fret. With a very smart woman, it is likely that the same brain that gives you that stimulation, also tends to give you so much grief, it is not worth it, on any level. Get over it. Enjoy all of the other qualities, that make your day so delightful and fulfilling. Great advice, that I have followed to this day. 

 

Some guys will say that it is hard to meet a Thai woman who is a real true and loyal companion. That she is not well educated, or some such nonsense. I would say that is a fairly typical view of a western man, who has suffered a lifetime of indoctrination, and will resort to inane comments about keeping your Thai woman in the kitchen. No, it is not about cooking and cleaning. We have a very good maid. So my wife does not have to clean much. My woman only has a high school education. But, she is one of the smartest women I have ever known. She has a near photographic memory, learned to read and write very good english in a year (I sent her to a very good school and she did her homework, quite seriously) and can think on her feet like nobody I have ever met. We have no children, and we are very fortunate in that regard, so no child rearing required. She is a gourmet cook, so whenever I want, she is thrilled to whip up an incredible meal. But, mostly it is about outstanding companionship, being with a kind, loving woman who always has my back, as I always have hers. It is the most satisfying relationship I have ever been in. We have fun, we talk, but we don't try to break down the origins of the universe, and the conversations are lovely, but not particularly deep. She speaks very good english, but is not fluent, so that is one aspect of it. But, the primary aspect is just a lack of interest on her part, in the deeper subjects, (such as astronomy, physics, science, botany, theatre, independent film, etc.), which I find to be the case with alot of Thai women, and I am fine with that. That is what my friends are for. 

 

I have met very few Thai women that I would describe as philosophical, or intellectual. Most Thais simply do not have inquiring minds. Most are not taught to be curious souls, as youngsters. This does not mean they are not smart. But, most of the intellectual kind of stuff I like to discuss with my friends, my wife considers bizarre, and uninteresting. We are very independent. I have my friends and she has hers. Most days she goes off on her own for many hours, and I do the same. If we have dinner with my friends, she will often find herself bored after a half hour. It is all good. We limit the number of those dinners, so she does not have to endure our inane topics, which stretch on and on. And I usually encourage her to leave after she is finished eating, so I can sit around with the guys, and shoot the bull. It is more fun getting together with the guys anyway. No limitations on what we speak of. Same with me. I do not want to sit around with her girlfriends, listening to them go on and on, in Thai for hours. No interest in that. And that is not even one iota of an issue for us.

 

I learned long ago that an intellectual woman, who can match me intellectually, also tends to be a combative woman, and the chance of harmony is low. I for one, love a harmonious house, where my woman is joyful and light hearted, with a great sense of humor, and an amazing attitude toward life, and us. Just my point of view. Whatever works for you, stick with it.

Edited September 29, 2019 by spidermike007

[kingofthemountain]

6 hours ago, georgegeorgia said:

If your lonely in your Farang Country then you will be lonely in Thailand too

...

Be (And stay) lonely in Thailand

is probably one of the most difficult thing to do

it's a non stop pastime here to refuse the proposals and it's not easy at all

so congrats to you and your friend

[Kinnock]

My work has taken me to several countries, and I've got to know some wonderful women (local girls and, generally, not bar girls) who would make any man happy - but each country has it's own challenges.

 

Australia - almost no attractive females except a few out-of-our scope and way too young teenagers.  They get BIG and scary into their 30's

 

Philippines - fun and lots of very cute ones, few really beautiful ones.  Christian values and family focus means after knowing them for anything over a week - they will wants LOTS of babies, and promptly get fat.

 

Vietnam - many nice looking girls, a few really beautiful hot looking ones.  Tough rather than warm hearted.  Young and beautiful girls will be looking for young and handsome local boys.  Average wage levels low, so yes you can get a nice rental, but an older white guy will be a job, not a lifelong partner.

 

India - the only girls in India who look like Bollywood stars, are the Bollywood stars.  The girls you meet at work are smart and sassy, but not the gorgeous creatures you see in the movies.  And they are protected by several brothers, uncles and scary aunties.  Working girls are worn out and exploited - and it's a terrible trade that none of us who've spent time in Thailand or Australia would tolerate.

 

Hong Kong - you need to be seriously rich to even speak to a beautiful local girl.

 

Thailand - many pretty ones, and the ones us Western guys think are really beautiful are often rejected by the Thai guys as being too curvy, too tall and too smart.

 

They really do respect age and just want a guy to look after them.  Thai guys are so unfaithful they will spoil any man who is honest and faithful.

 

Like buying a car - avoid ex rentals and high mileage/many owner models, and she'll make you happy.

 

So yes - if the guy in the OP has saved some money, has a pension, and 'good heart' he could be very happy here.

 

[BritManToo]

1 hour ago, spidermike007 said:

The trick is to take your time. Only by taking your time and really getting to know her, will you be able to develop a sense of her sincerity, who she is, where she comes from, what she is made of, whether or not she is emotionally developed enough to be engaging, and what kind of family she has.

I agree with most of your post, then disagree with this.

Happy to move in with them after a week if the sex is good, they're under 30 years old, and under 50Kg in weight.

Edited September 29, 2019 by BritManToo

[NCC1701A]

Your home country is a system Neo. That system is our enemy. But when you’re inside, you look around, what do you see? Businessmen, teacher, lawyers, carpenters. The very minds of the people we are trying to save. But until we do, these people are still a part of that system and that makes them our enemy. You have to understand, most of these are not ready to be unplugged. And many of them are so inured, so hopelessly dependent on the system, that they will fight to protect it.

[spidermike007]

17 minutes ago, NCC1701A said:

Your home country is a system Neo. That system is our enemy. But when you’re inside, you look around, what do you see? Businessmen, teacher, lawyers, carpenters. The very minds of the people we are trying to save. But until we do, these people are still a part of that system and that makes them our enemy. You have to understand, most of these are not ready to be unplugged. And many of them are so inured, so hopelessly dependent on the system, that they will fight to protect it.

Wise words. So true. Most I talk to back there have no perspective on this. They just cannot see it. Most are trustful of the government. Which I find amazing. Why on earth would anyone trust the government, much less the US government? What have they done to earn our trust, or even the notion of a possibility that they are working on our behalf? 

 

When we discuss it they look at me like I am from Mars. Thailand is not really a foreign country. It is in reality a distant planet. So, in reality I am from Mars.

 

Edited September 29, 2019 by spidermike007

[Puchaiyank]

3 hours ago, georgegeorgia said:

I dont agree...most are just after money or want paying for their time.

What if he goes to Pattaya?

real relationship there??

 

 

 

I suggested he try the Phillipines for real love

Love?  Who said anything about love?  You bang a bar girl...or your wife...you are paying either way.  Which woman is being the most honest? 

[Puchaiyank]

2 hours ago, BritManToo said:

I've generally found they hunted me down, captured me, then moved in.

All I had to do was sit on a bar stool for a day or two.

This is so true!  ????

[spidermike007]

19 minutes ago, Puchaiyank said:

Love?  Who said anything about love?  You bang a bar girl...or your wife...you are paying either way.  Which woman is being the most honest? 

With the bar girl you know how much you are in for, up front. When I used to date women back in the US, you never knew. One dinner, two, three? One gift, two gifts? Since I was in my 20's, it never really seemed to be about how much they liked you or not. Sure, in NYC it was easy. When I lived there the percentage of straight available women to men was 7 to 1. Fairly easy pickings. But, that was a long time ago. And I was alot younger. And the world has changed alot. These days?