"Melancholy is the happiness of being sad". (Victor Hugo)

I am surprised to see this post on unhappiness in the Forum.

And surprised at all the Posts here that agree with the idea that so much of life is melancholy.

I have felt that way most of my long life. And most of my life I have been criticized for being so negative - like if only I were more of a man I would stop whining and make the most of my circumstances ... be

positive and find the opportunities in every tragedy that happens.

And as for songs: what about Don McClean's "American pie"? 

I never liked the song until yesterday when I saw a Youtube presentation that explained to me what it all

meant. It reminded me that there once was a feeling that the U.S.A. was a success story and the place on

earth where people had a chance to  make a life worth living - and that those feelings of optimism were

really just a lost opportunity and all hope is really gone.

Now I feel like I have a right to think like some of the tough guys I have known: "Life is hell and then you die." And "You can't win." (So we make the best of the bad situation." And "The masses of men live lives of quiet desparation." 

I am reminded of "Dust in the wind." If those successful rock stars can write about such sadness - and all they do crumbles to the ground - then I have a right to feel my pessimism too. I just want to take advantage of every moment of happiness and light that may be left to me in this lifetime.

Thanks to Thaibeachlovers for bringing this up. 

32 minutes ago, MadMuhammad said:

Yep. It’s called ecstasy ????

I was thinking more like Xanax... 

7 minutes ago, CHiangMaiMuu said:

I am surprised to see this post on unhappiness in the Forum.

And surprised at all the Posts here that agree with the idea that so much of life is melancholy.

I have felt that way most of my long life. And most of my life I have been criticized for being so negative - like if only I were more of a man I would stop whining and make the most of my circumstances ... be

positive and find the opportunities in every tragedy that happens.

And as for songs: what about Don McClean's "American pie"? 

I never liked the song until yesterday when I saw a Youtube presentation that explained to me what it all

meant. It reminded me that there once was a feeling that the U.S.A. was a success story and the place on

earth where people had a chance to  make a life worth living - and that those feelings of optimism were

really just a lost opportunity and all hope is really gone.

Now I feel like I have a right to think like some of the tough guys I have known: "Life is hell and then you die." And "You can't win." (So we make the best of the bad situation." And "The masses of men live lives of quiet desparation." 

I am reminded of "Dust in the wind." If those successful rock stars can write about such sadness - and all they do crumbles to the ground - then I have a right to feel my pessimism too. I just want to take advantage of every moment of happiness and light that may be left to me in this lifetime.

Thanks to Thaibeachlovers for bringing this up. 

Dude that was wonderful. If I wasnt eating lunch, Id strangle myself with my camera strap in solidiarity.

2 minutes ago, kenk24 said:

I was thinking more like Xanax... 

What, you mean replacing one problem with another?

8 minutes ago, CHiangMaiMuu said:

I just want to take advantage of every moment of happiness and light that may be left to me in this lifetime.

which is probably best accomplished by not being so negative.... ?? 

 

9 minutes ago, CHiangMaiMuu said:

And most of my life I have been criticized for being so negative

don't mean to be piling on or anything... 

4 minutes ago, kenk24 said:

which is probably best accomplished by not being so negative.... ?? 

 

don't mean to be piling on or anything... 

It really is a question of perception .....

22 hours ago, thaibeachlovers said:

That's a very good observation. I don't think I've ever been "happy" in the same way as I've been unhappy or melancholy.

I've definitely enjoyed some parts of my life, but like you say, more absence of negativity, rather than "happiness" per se.

I've been happy in some things, some relationships, but only while they were happening. When they were not happening I wasn't still enjoying them, or happy- just absence of unhappiness. Being away from the person that made me happy when I was with them made me sad as I missed them.

 

Melancholia, on the other hand, lasts even if the thing that caused melancholia is no longer present.

 

Back to the music- if I listen to a happy song I'm happy only as long as the song plays, but if I listen to a sad song I feel sad even after the song ends.

I'll have to ponder on that for a while.

Sad songs do sometimes bring a tear to my eye, ie, Ebony Eyes by the Everly Brothers.

Moody Blues

4 hours ago, geronimo said:

Have you ever thought of running for POTY?

I don't think Mods can be POTY.

9 minutes ago, possum1931 said:

I don't think Mods can be POTY.

You are, of course, correct good Sir! They are an elite group who tolerate us mere mortals .....

2 hours ago, MadMuhammad said:

Yep. It’s called ecstasy ????

not cyanide ?

2 minutes ago, soalbundy said:

not cyanide ?

That's a painful and permanent solution to a temporary problem.

17 minutes ago, soalbundy said:

not cyanide ?

Permanent solution to a temporary problem lol

 

commented before reading above, d’oh!

5 hours ago, MadMuhammad said:

Until one suffers true sadness and plumbs the depth of life changing loss I feel many, not all obvious you, chase sadness as a justification for mediocrity or not dealing with life’s many issues. 
6 years ago I was on top of the world. At 34 I was the fittest I had ever been. I had a high paying job in construction, had just built a million $ home, owned nearly everything (car, bikes etc) and travelled the world. I had a catastrophic traffic accident and just like that life pulled the rug out form under me. 
The next 4 years of rehab were tough. 5 surgeries to repair my broken body, the loss of use of one arm, broken neck and back, coma for 2 weeks and on a Brian injury ward for 4 months, I lost so much. My health, my physique, memories, independence. The toughest loss was my identity. I was always the big, fit, out going guy. 
 

I scraped the bottom of the barrel for a while, shut myself off from the world. Painkillers, in and out of hospital and multiple surgeries. I lost the job that I loved dearly and ended up losing my fiancée, nearly lost my home and my sanity. But I pulled through. 
 

Now I can’t find it in me to be sad about anything whatsoever. Even songs that used to be tear jerkers or triggered sad memories have little to know effect on me. I have suffered more than the average person and I made a promise to myself I will suffer no more. 
Life is a gift along with everything in it. I don’t have time for sadness or pain anymore ????????

Inspirational. Good on yer, mate.

3 hours ago, geronimo said:

It really is a question of perception .....

Or brainwashing

I wasn't melancholy until I read this thread.

But I do like The Moody Blues song Melancholy Man.

2 minutes ago, emptypockets said:

Or brainwashing

If people watch the news all day long, it is hardly surprising that they get into the habit of neg thinking.

Just now, geronimo said:

If people watch the news all day long, it is hardly surprising that they get into the habit of neg thinking.

Or post on here.

Just now, emptypockets said:

Or post on here.

well, that could have a bearing on a person's outlook yes.

3 minutes ago, geronimo said:

If people watch the news all day long, it is hardly surprising that they get into the habit of neg thinking.

Agree 100%.

 

It's another reason that bad/sad news sells and that there are no "happy" newspapers. No one wants to read them.

Leonard cohen is king !

As usual, the immortal Bard had it sussed. "Alas, our frailty is the cause, not we. For such as we are made then such we be". 

 

Nobody's born melancholy. We end up what life has made us, whether it's sunny side up or down.

 

 

57 minutes ago, Liverpudlian said:

Leonard cohen is king !

I used to have the urge to slit my wrists when listening to Lenny.

8 hours ago, PatOngo said:

Life's a bitch, then you die! ????

This is the bottom line of both Buddhism and Hindhuism so they would add: 'over and over again'. Their goal is to escape life and being reincarnated/reborn over and over again to suffer it.

 

I disagree that life is all suffering and prefer the Chinese Taoist yin and yang philosophy where u cant have one thing without its opposite. I believe that the more u seek happiness the more u inevitably eventually create it's opposite in some way, i.e., unhappiness & discontentedness. And the higher the high u seek, the lower the low u must 'pay back' in some way to equalise it. I prefer to try and cultivate contentedness rather than seek happiness thus remaining somewhere more central between the peaks and troughs and experiencing, I think, a lesser oscillation of highs and lows.

 

Strange that I have always prefered ballads which are sad and which stir deep emotions in me. I think music itself is a mystery; what exactly is it? How can u define it and its mysterious and powerful effects on us? From a very young age certain instumental pieces had the power to sometimes move me to tears. How does that work without any lyrics to associate it to anything sad? I find this deeply mysterious.

Happiness is being content with what you have.

 

Thais are generally a happy people because they live in the moment and are content with their lot in life. They don't worry about the past (depression) or future (anxiety).

 

By definition, just being able to live in the moment is 'happiness'.

On 11/19/2019 at 1:46 PM, nikmar said:

"Dont worry, be happy"

 

“Cheer up”, they said. “Things could be worse”.So I did, and they were.

On 11/20/2019 at 5:10 AM, swissie said:

About time we realise that what we call "feelings" is produced by hormones docking on to certain aereas of our brain.
Example: Oxytocin is the "love hormone". Resulting in a mild form of Schizophrenia but also keeping "melancholy" at bay.

I've been thinking about it, and it's clear that "being in love" is a result of chemicals that are released in response to pheromones given off by the object of one's desire. This is a genetic program to ensure the survival of the species.

What people don't realise is that once the objective has been achieved, the pheromones will not be released, and the chemicals that produce the feeling of "being in love" will stop. Ergo, if one does not have a "friend" relationship to carry on with, divorce follows.

I went to great pains to ask my beloved if she liked me as a friend before we married, but I guess she either did not understand, or was just lying, as usual.

17 hours ago, Stevemercer said:

Happiness is being content with what you have.

Thais are generally a happy people because they live in the moment

But we still worry about that VISA we may not have next year.

I wonder how happy the Thais would be if they had to be worried about being removed from their country next year, and every other year?