how do you (politely) avoid people?

[Monomial]

Agree to the initial exchange of information, and then tell them you've just become a Jehova's Witness, and ask them if they've accepted Jesus as their Lord and saviour? Direct every question they ask back to religion with as many socially inappropriate statements as you can work into the conversation.

 

Done correctly, nobody will want anything to do with you...

 

 

 

[UbonThani]

Tell them great. You just started working as a rep for a timeshare company and are looking to do 5 hour presentations in people's homes. You are also into network marketing and got a new whiz bang computer one to talk about.

[scubascuba3]

Best way is to do a gurn during the conversation every minute or so, that will do the trick, they will run for the hills

[steven100]

just say you've started selling insurance and do they have time for a chat .... 

[PatOngo]

3 hours ago, MASSMAN said:

Thais avoid people everyday if they have no need for them.  Just follow their examples by pretending not to see the person.

Yes, just give a vacant smile and keep walking!

[UbonThani]

11 minutes ago, scubascuba3 said:

Best way is to do a gurn during the conversation every minute or so, that will do the trick, they will run for the hills

Gurn?

[Don Mega]

Ask them how often do they shower and is any soap involved..... and step back a few paces.

[scubascuba3]

17 minutes ago, UbonThani said:

Gurn?

Like this, some people do it without trying

[bkk6060]

Always wear a black face mask, sunglasses and a hat.  No one will bother you.

PS:  A Trump hat will definitely do the trick.

Edited February 24, 2020 by bkk6060

[spiekerjozef]

Tell them politely to <deleted> off...

[KC 71]

50 minutes ago, scubascuba3 said:

Best way is to do a gurn during the conversation every minute or so, that will do the trick, they will run for the hills

Would probably have the opposite effect on me ! ????

[Gecko123]

Is the OP really so constantly bombarded with social overtures that he needs to seek help about how to field them all? Standoffish behavior from fellow foreigners has become so in vogue here its part of the social landscape. I honestly question how often the OP actually encounters such problems.

 

But let's get a couple of things straight, people. This standoffishness is almost always done out of pretension and fear of rejection, not because the person has an overflowing social calendar or is a true introvert. People's social skills often get degraded here over time for two major reasons: (1) inadequate language skills, and (2) cultural differences about the expected depth of commitment in relationships.

 

Even if you become proficient in Thai, there is still a very significant cultural hurdle about commitment in relationships which needs to be overcome. On the surface, foreigners probably make emotional commitments more quickly and easily than Thais, but often encounter disappointment and anger when they feel these commitments haven't been lived up to. Thais (wisely) are slower to make deep commitments in relationships, including marital relationships.

 

If you start looking at relationships simply as a series of interactions rather than as a mutually understood bond or agreement which requires a lot of trust and commitment to maintain, you'll probably be a lot happier here. This same noncommittal 'one-step-at-a-time' approach works well here when dealing with foreigners as well.

 

In today's world of blocked phone numbers, de-friended friends, and ignore lists, it's easy to pull the plug on unsatisfying relationships. Being rude and avoiding social interaction out of fear of social commitment is not only unnecessary, but probably unhealthy as well.

 

 

Edited February 24, 2020 by Gecko123

[UbonThani]

56 minutes ago, bkk6060 said:

Always wear a black face mask, sunglasses and a hat.  No one will bother you.

PS:  A Trump hat will definitely do the trick.

Lots of people like Trump.

[UbonThani]

37 minutes ago, Gecko123 said:

Is the OP really so constantly bombarded with social overtures that he needs to seek help about how to field them all? Standoffish behavior from fellow foreigners has become so in vogue here its part of the social landscape. I honestly question how often the OP actually encounters such problems.

 

But let's get a couple of things straight, people. This standoffishness is almost always done out of pretension and fear of rejection, not because the person has an overflowing social calendar or is a true introvert. People's social skills often get degraded here over time for two major reasons: (1) inadequate language skills, and (2) cultural differences about the expected depth of commitment in relationships.

 

Even if you become proficient in Thai, there is still a very significant cultural hurdle about commitment in relationships which needs to be overcome. On the surface, foreigners probably make emotional commitments more quickly and easily than Thais, but often encounter disappointment and anger when they feel these commitments haven't been lived up to. Thais (wisely) are slower to make deep commitments in relationships, including marital relationships.

 

If you start looking at relationships simply as a series of interactions rather than as a mutually understood bond or agreement which requires a lot of trust and commitment to maintain, you'll probably be a lot happier here. This same noncommittal 'one-step-at-a-time' approach works well here when dealing with foreigners as well.

 

In today's world of blocked phone numbers, de-friended friends, and ignore lists, it's easy to pull the plug on unsatisfying relationships. Being rude and avoiding social interaction out of fear of social commitment is not only unnecessary, but probably unhealthy as well.

 

 

Most humans aren't worth the effort though. Listening to people whine about Trump or their health problems 100 times isn't much fun.

 

[RichardColeman]

Pretend to be deaf ? 

[UbonThani]

Pretend to be Russian with no English

[HuskerDo]

4 hours ago, scubascuba3 said:

Like this, some people do it without trying

I don't recall giving you permission to post a photo of me.

[scubascuba3]

3 minutes ago, HuskerDo said:

I don't recall giving you permission to post a photo of me.

to be fair, most guys on soi buakhao look like that

[KC 71]

[HuskerDo]

1 minute ago, KC 71 said:

Mom? Is that you?

[BananaBandit]

12 hours ago, pookondee said:

You will find most are weirdos who actually have no intention of contacting you anyway.

That's somewhat comforting to hear. I have nothing against "weirdos." It's the prospect of repeated social commitments that bothers me. 

 

12 hours ago, pookondee said:

I have no time for their nonsense anyway, just agree but give them a fake number.

I don't have the nerve to give someone a fake number. I also don't want anyone to feel like I played them. But I do wish to avoid recurring interaction. 

[BananaBandit]

13 hours ago, CharlieH said:

And yet if you were, you wouldnt be in that situation would you. 

 

Seems your actions are contradictory, just saying ????

My "actions" ?

 

As in, I'm minding my own business when someone else starts talking to me.  In most instances, when someone says something to you, you are then expected to respond.  I fail to understand what I can do differently about avoiding the initial contact. 

[CharlieH]

6 minutes ago, BananaBandit said:

My "actions" ?

 

As in, I'm minding my own business when someone else starts talking to me.  In most instances, when someone says something to you, you are then expected to respond.  I fail to understand what I can do differently about avoiding the initial contact. 

yes , actions as in your OP you said you were hanging out with them and they wanted your contact details to do it again sometime.

Well if you were introvert etc you wouldnt be hanging out with them for any period of time for them to want to do it again !

You would have refused etc from the start not joined in and seemingly had a good time as they did to want to do it again.

[Nyezhov]

13 hours ago, BananaBandit said:

sometimes i encounter other farlangs who are friendly and express interest in hanging out again

Only the truly psychotic would want to hang with me more than once. If they get too friendly, I start drooling or talk about how I once had a chicken for a girlfriend. Never fails.

[BananaBandit]

3 hours ago, UbonThani said:

Pretend to be Russian with no English

I've actually given that strategy some thought. But there really ain't any Russians where I spend most of my time. 

[BananaBandit]

24 minutes ago, CharlieH said:

yes , actions as in your OP you said you were hanging out with them and they wanted your contact details to do it again sometime.

Well if you were introvert etc you wouldnt be hanging out with them for any period of time for them to want to do it again !

You would have refused etc from the start not joined in and seemingly had a good time as they did to want to do it again.

Okay. Perhaps I could have worded part my OP in a somewhat more precise fashion, though I think I made the general situation reasonably clear to most anyone.

 

Just to make it even more clear, I'm not at a bar chatting it up with anyone. I'm sitting at a 7-11 coffee table reading a book, working out at a park, or roaming through a Thai-style market. Very much minding my own business -- when I get ambushed by a friendly farlang. I don't see how I can control the initial point of contact.  I'm looking for constructive suggestions about how to politely avoid exchanging contact info, or what to say once I bump into the people again after ignoring them subsequent to the exchange of contact info. 

[sead]

But it's ok to vent your thoughts here ????

 

[BritManToo]

14 hours ago, BananaBandit said:

how does a street-smart introvert handle this type of situation?

Wear earphones more, give them a fake phone number if they ask.

Tell them you're broke and can't afford to eat/drink out.

If they suggest you meet as 'couples' tell them you don't allow your wife/gf to mix with prostitutes.

 

If all that fails, enjoy the free food and booze.

Edited February 25, 2020 by BritManToo

[BritManToo]

36 minutes ago, Nyezhov said:

I start drooling or talk about how I once had a chicken for a girlfriend. Never fails.

I do that when I'm on my own.

You don't appear to have mastered 'psychotic' yet.

[BritManToo]

5 hours ago, Gecko123 said:

But let's get a couple of things straight, people. This standoffishness is almost always done out of pretension and fear of rejection, not because the person has an overflowing social calendar or is a true introvert. People's social skills often get degraded here over time for two major reasons: (1) inadequate language skills, and (2) cultural differences about the expected depth of commitment in relationships.

I avoid other people because they're stupid, and I can't be bothered to pretend to listen to their tedious nonsense.

Online forums are far more interesting, when you get tired of one thread you can just move to another.

And for total idiots, who never mange to say anything interesting, there's the 'ignore' function.

Edited February 25, 2020 by BritManToo