Blending in.

[Lacessit]

Blending in for a six foot 90 kg person in a nation that has a high proportion of slim 40-50 kg men and women is a big ask. I don't even try. I speak enough Thai to get by, and crack a joke occasionally. I have no ambition to make friends with Thais.

I blend in from the point of view of not making waves when I get poor service. I walk away, and never go back. Immigration is an exception, obviously. However, I've found if I have everything organized, their rituals usually go smoothly. A missing document or copy is the kiss of death.

I have a couple of farang friends here I have met through golf or the condo. I tend to avoid many farangs because in my experience they are loudmouth boasters and whingers who would bore me out of my skull in 5 minutes flat.

 

[racinkc1]

1 minute ago, Lacessit said:

I tend to avoid many farangs because in my experience they are loudmouth boasters and whingers who would bore me out of my skull in 5 minutes flat.

 

I agree man. Not one Thai has infuriated me the way some foreigners have. And I consider most Thais to be pretty racist. But what can you expect? Some of us exploit their culture and way of life and make a bad rep for the rest. I think its best we lay low and not take the place over.

[finnsk]

3 minutes ago, racinkc1 said:

 

I think, we all here think thai woman is beautyfull to look at and to have fun with.

But as every where, also here there is good and bad thinking woman. You can find the most fantastic woman or you can find a very very beautyfull good fuc.ing babe that will use all your money in a short time and then kick you out of her life again when the money is gone. Watch your steps.

 

[Captain Monday]

15 hours ago, baansgr said:

Get yourself a few Amulets, a Buriram footie shirt and a sak Yant...you'll blend in anywhere in Thailand.

Not unless Muangthong United fan is encountered. I don't know anything about "Soccer" but I determined sports jerseys should be worn with caution. I bought a Chelsea away cause I liked the color. Reactions included a drunk Thai lad suddenly hugging me to some farang trying to start a fight.

 

I'm locked out of Thailand but I don't think things have been getting more hostile, amazing what you can get sone in Thailand with patience and a smile. Nobody really "likes" anyone and only reason Foreigners are tolerated is economic, just gotta get used to that. With large numbers of foreigners gone now maybe people we are not the cause of all problems.

Edited May 9, 2020 by Captain Monday

[Neeranam]

It makes a huge difference if you learn the language and join in community events, have a family and interact with other parents at school. 

I joined sports clubs, rotary, etc. 

I have friends where I run every evening.

I have good friends through AA. 

 

The biggest thing is the language -  I've heard so many expats say they've no Thai friends but can't speak the language! 

 

[NoshowJones]

43 minutes ago, Lacessit said:

Given the general level of pulchritude of UK women at that age, I don't find that statement at all surprising.

In my line of work, and my good looks. I had a few to choose from.

[racinkc1]

48 minutes ago, Lacessit said:

The death stares will be from Western women, they realise the competition has them beaten all ends up. Thais don't care, they just see a girl with her ATM.

I just give the stare back, with a smile on my face, just to p##s them off even more.

That last time I saw a western woman when I was with my Thai GF, I thought she (the western girl) might spontaneously combust..... Not happy to see me with options....

[racinkc1]

27 minutes ago, finnsk said:

I think, we all here think thai woman is beautyfull to look at and to have fun with.

But as every where, also here there is good and bad thinking woman. You can find the most fantastic woman or you can find a very very beautyfull good fuc.ing babe that will use all your money in a short time and then kick you out of her life again when the money is gone. Watch your steps.

 

The girl I have been seeing is pretty needy. But she has so many that need her and rely on her. It makes her needy to me. Shes a good person and not using me. 

[Lacessit]

27 minutes ago, racinkc1 said:

I agree man. Not one Thai has infuriated me the way some foreigners have. And I consider most Thais to be pretty racist. But what can you expect? Some of us exploit their culture and way of life and make a bad rep for the rest. I think its best we lay low and not take the place over.

I have fairly limited experience of racism from Thais, perhaps my physical appearance and demeanour discourages it. When it has happened, it's been from someone who considers themselves to be hi-so, whom I regard as parasites anyway. It kills me when they regard themselves as well-educated, because the Thai education system is totally geared towards obedience to authority. That's why male doctors here can get quite annoyed when a farang starts asking questions, Thai patients don't do that.

I've found rural Thais to be humble, very warm and not racist at all. Socialize a little with them on my terms, I leave them alone, they leave me alone.

[Lacessit]

13 minutes ago, racinkc1 said:

The girl I have been seeing is pretty needy. But she has so many that need her and rely on her. It makes her needy to me. Shes a good person and not using me. 

Without being cynical, you do need to understand you are an ATM. You'll be fine if the ATM has a daily withdrawal limit you can handle. Go over that limit for any length of time, and you become one of the barstool experts bleating about how an illiterate Issan girl mulcted them of their life savings.

She's a good person if she understands there are limits to your giving. She's not if she keeps making demands.

[Lacessit]

31 minutes ago, possum1931 said:

In my line of work, and my good looks. I had a few to choose from.

I'm not sure if my post went through to the wicketkeeper, or you ducked under the bouncer.

[racinkc1]

25 minutes ago, Lacessit said:

you become one of the barstool experts bleating about how an illiterate Issan girl mulcted them of their life savings.

 

Haha. I hope I don't become that guy. She's not like that at all. When I stay with her she washes my clothes and cooks for me. Dream come true. Also educated. If we go out Ill pay, but what a 1 usd Pad Thai for the girl of my dreams? 

[LawrenceN]

20 hours ago, BritManToo said:

Ignore the locals apart from simple commerce, don't tip.

It's worked for me.

I agree. Don't tip.

[Pilotman]

2 hours ago, CharlieH said:

 

As with many things here it largely depends on what happens to you in your area as there is rarely any consistency in process and certainly not in attitude.

The way I have been treated is disgusting, I wouldnt treat a dog the way the local immigration act.

The closest I can come to an example would be the racial discrimination and feeling towards Black people in the 50's south in USA !!

The bullying and intimidation is vile and propagates the ongoing tensions and hatred for Immigration and its systems/approach.

I think we are particularity fortunate with the Jomtien Immigration Office. 

[jak2002003]

1 hour ago, Neeranam said:

It makes a huge difference if you learn the language and join in community events, have a family and interact with other parents at school. 

I joined sports clubs, rotary, etc. 

I have friends where I run every evening.

I have good friends through AA. 

 

The biggest thing is the language -  I've heard so many expats say they've no Thai friends but can't speak the language! 

 

I agree with you about the language..... even just knowing a few words and making an effort is all that is needed.... no one needs be put off thinking they need to be fluent in the language.  

 

My experience is that I have far more Thai friends than Farang now.  The best friend I ever had is Thai.. we are like soul mates.  Known her and her family since moving here 13 years ago.  

 

I have found that in general Thai people are friendly and it was much easier to make friends and fit in here than back in the UK.  

 

Maybe its because we are a farang couple and I don't have a Thai wife to rely on when it comes to socialising with other Thai people (and whatever agenda she may have).  

 

Anyway, I am very happy with how it turned out, and have lots of Thai friends who we go out on the big bike with as a group, or go to people houses to eat food and have a drink (before the virus thing).  Neighbours mostly friendly, and help us out,  never want money for helping or fixing things, and give me a lift somewhere if I am suck (as I can't drive), again free.  

 

I enjoy walking around the local markets or cycling about and meeting a lot of Thai people that know me and stop to have a chat.  Gong to peoples homes for normal Thai meals or sticky rice and home cooked food (which they have shown me how to cook and prepare, and I help to cook with them and wash up).  

 

Maybe it depends of your social circle.  Most of the Thai people we know are Thai families or Tai Yai.  They are not marred to farangs, and I don't mix in ex pat circles.  We just live in an average Thai village and go to the local Thai eating places and bars mostly, and enjoy the Thai festivals and customs.  I don't know any 'hi so' families or anything like that.  

 

OP, if you are constantly having trouble making friends, perhaps take a look at yourself and change your attitude or behaviour a bit.

 

[talahtnut]

17 hours ago, faraday said:

Try Whan king in China.

Thats the Wong Foo King county in north China

[BritManToo]

5 hours ago, Keyser Soze666 said:

Didn't you say you are in your 60's and still have 20 yrs left on your mortgage?

Paid off one in the UK at age 43 for the former Brit wife ...... paying off a second in Thailand now for my former Thai wife.

Looking for a nice Viet or Khmer girl now so I can start working on buying a third house.

[BritManToo]

5 hours ago, kenk24 said:

Age appropriate women don't feel that way... I am not attracted to 20 yr old girls and they are surely not attracted to me... 

Newsflash: you're too old for any women to be attracted to you.

They want 20 years olds, same as we do.

[natway09]

I know what you mean & we will never be Thai.

But in my 3 decades of socializing with them have never found a problem in having a laugh 

or joking anywhere with them from the smallest village to the big smoke.

Just relax, be yourself but be polite in your requests & always pay your way or above.

 

[1FinickyOne]

26 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

Newsflash: you're too old for any women to be attracted to you.

They want 20 years olds, same as we do.

Guess what? Not everyone lives in the same world as you do... some of us grow up as we grow older... 

 

Physicality is also related to an emotional attachment... [just because you have never felt something like that does not mean it doesn't exist]

 

From about the time I was 50, the 20 year old beauties were adorable to look at, but not physically attractive for me... I had no connection with them at all and did not desire them in that way... as surely they did not desire me in that way nor did I expect them to, nor did I want to be with anyone who had no attraction... paying someone to pretend for 20 minutes just didn't do it for me... 

[Keyser Soze666]

40 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

Paid off one in the UK at age 43 for the former Brit wife ...... paying off a second in Thailand now for my former Thai wife.

Looking for a nice Viet or Khmer girl now so I can start working on buying a third house.

Might as well keep going. I thought you was living with a bird now, or are you thinking of trading her in?

[sead]

You're tipping.? Stop that lol. Just be yourself and stop seeking reason that you are doing something wrong 

[Venom]

22 hours ago, mr mr said:

i wonder if there is a different sentiment regarding the foreigners age ? 

 

say a healthy young 43 year old such as myself vs an aging dinosaur who looks like he shared a room with death in college. this may have something to do with it.

No actually in Thai culture they tend to respect the elderly unlike where you may be from. I believe you carry your culture and attitude with you regardless of where you live. 

[PaulieAUS]

9 hours ago, BritManToo said:

Over 40 is old.

By 40 you should have finished breeding, paid off most of your mortgage.

Over 40, employers don't want to hire you, women don't want to have sex with you, not even your wife.

No chip on my shoulder, just facing reality.

What the faaaaaaaaark?

 

I am about to hit my 40s and very much looking forward to new adventures. Then again I do live in Australia and we have it great here especially with the mess going on around the world, but I am planning to set something up in Thailand for the long term if you know what I mean. 

 

I don't think I could live in Thailand while I am making $$ in Australia so it'll just be hit and run missions for the next decade.

 

What % of Thai women (read: not uneducated Issan farm girl) would want to head abroad? I don't suspect it is as high as perhaps 20 years ago. 

 

 

 

[PaulieAUS]

6 hours ago, possum1931 said:

I was pulling plenty of UK women when I was near fifty and they were in their thirties.

My brother lives in London and is almost 50 after two failed marriages. All his girlfriends are in their thirties. I believe this as I've seen it.

 

He isn't rich by any means. Just well presented and spoken.

 

[BritManToo]

4 minutes ago, PaulieAUS said:

What % of Thai women (read: not uneducated Issan farm girl) would want to head abroad? I don't suspect it is as high as perhaps 20 years ago. 

Maybe you should try the Philippines, they all can't wait to get out.

[BritManToo]

15 minutes ago, Keyser Soze666 said:

Might as well keep going. I thought you was living with a bird now, or are you thinking of trading her in?

She's got a bit frumpy.

No point paying for a 9 or a 10, when they've eaten their way down to a 5.

I did offer her a 10k bonus if she could slim down to less than 50gk and stay below for a week, but my money appears to be safe.

Edited May 9, 2020 by BritManToo

[BritManToo]

20 minutes ago, kenk24 said:

Physicality is also related to an emotional attachment... [just because you have never felt something like that does not mean it doesn't exist]

Ha-ha at the guy that still thinks women over age 25 (generous limit) have anything but fake emotions for the guy they live with.

[malibukid]

22 hours ago, BritManToo said:

Never heard a 43 year old describe themselves as 'young'.

Back in your home country no woman would look at you (with anything apart from disgust).

 

Thailand, land of delusion.

who cares what woman think?  anything that can be bought is not worth much anyway

[talahtnut]

10 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

Ha-ha at the guy that still thinks women over age 25 (generous limit) have anything but fake emotions for the guy they live with.

Aint that the truth, women do not love men,

but only what they can do for 'em.

Have you seen Bernie Ecclestone's bird,

damn! Proof age is no problem, cash is king.