Please don’t take my ideas on this the wrong way. They’re based on our personal family experience.

 

We had been married for 8 years. I had (have) two grown children from my first marriage and promptly had a vasectomy. In a moment of weakness second go-round, I agreed to in vitro fertilisation.

 

Chula Hospital managed to extract a few sperm who had been beating their little heads against the wall for 20 years. They extracted a few of my wife’s eggs & fertilised them with my sperm. Like gardening, really.

 

I managed to wriggle out of this situation, finally. And there sit our six ‘babies’ in a freezer 30 years later.

 

The discovery we made was that we could choose our own kid, one who needed us. We adopted, biked her to school every day. She got a violin scholarship to an int’l school, was on the Thai pre-Olympic high diving team, won medals in gymnastics, played tennis, groomed and rode horses. She’s got three passports and is just getting ready to graduate UBC on her own dime.

 

Do we miss our own babies? Hell, yes. Wouldn’t we have wanted to see what a fusion of the two of us would look like? Of course. But bearing children in kind of like going to Macau. They’re mostly losing hands. And the spouses they pick never meet their parents’ expectations.

 

I don’t think anyone should be having kids in their 40s. Even in our 30s, being children ourselves is just a distant memory. And of course, the risks for a damaged child & birth complications for the mother are exponentially increased with age. We’re meant to have our children young.

 

Abortion is not at all legal in Thailand. Even the morning-after pill is illegal. But for the right money, there are loopholes. Thailand has the second highest rate of teenage pregnancy in the world (after the US). Their kids need a stable, sufficient, caring, and loving home.

 

We really don’t all need clones of ourselves. This planet is hugely overpopulated. We’ve trashed the place and Coronavirus is only one way Mother Nature is shrugging us off.

 

If you insist on having kids, find a beauty to adopt and raise them with deep love and understanding. Make available to them a beautiful life. What they choose to do with it is up to them. First ask yourselves, are you up to the task?

35 minutes ago, unblocktheplanet said:

.....Abortion is not at all legal in Thailand. Even the morning-after pill is illegal. 

Not correct.

 

Abortion is legal if a Thai doctor determines continuing the pregnancy is detrimental to the mother:s physical or emotional health.  It is almost always done -- in fact offered -- if there are known congenital defects. However, it is no small thing to go through emotionally. Especially since the earliest test for Down:s syndrome can be done is 10 weeks gestation.

 

And morning after pill is not only legal, it is sold at all pharmacies and requires no prescription.

 

You are right about adoption though, and it is something OP should keep in mind rather than jumping through a  lot of hoops to get pregnant just because time is short conception-wise.