Best in your life?

[bwpage3]

On 5/24/2020 at 11:18 AM, Yankeesvsredsox said:

I once had a house back in Aruba .We spent 3 months out of the year there until we divorced and split everything 50/50!

 The island off Venezuela is part of the Dutch Antilles,  6 miles wide and 20 miles long and all those beaches are drop dead beautiful and public!

 For three months out of the year, it was 5pm everyday! Happy hours,music, swimming ,dancing,eating,drinking,gambling and ...

 

I agree, the happiest place on earth.

 

It cost a lot to meet the financial requirements for retirement in Aruba, however, after living in Thailand for 10+ years I am back in corporate America.

 

Aruba would be my retirement destination.

[fredwiggy]

Exactly why the rate of divorce is so high. Some aren't taught at home and some want to be a good husband, which doesn't come naturally to some.

[Logosone]

38 minutes ago, fredwiggy said:

It's hard to understand love when you look at a woman as something to be used. I never have. That's why my wife loves me. She knows she's never had this kind of treatment in her 40 years until now with me. When you understand women, and it took me many books and listening to do so, you know when you have love and when you're just being used.

But you do use her.

 

Are you telling me you do not use your woman. Not for anything? Not for sex, for laundry, for cleaning, for doing all the menial task you don't want to do? 

 

What does she do all day?

[bwpage3]

On 5/25/2020 at 6:12 AM, Lacessit said:

Depends on what part of my life I think about. Financially, best time of my life was when I paid off the mortgage on my first house within 18 months. Professionally, solving a problem which had bedevilled the steel company I worked for, that had cost the company millions of dollars a year in customer complaints. Academically, being a keynote speaker at the world's most prestigious corrosion conference. In sport, being unbeaten for a full season of match play golf, at number one, including a semi-final and final.

Having a son who is now returning the support I gave him when he was in his teens.

As far as sex goes, the last ten years of my life in Thailand have been the best, no question.

Why throw sex in diminishing all your other worldly achievements?

 

Makes you sound like you were never able to get any when you were achieving.

 

If I had to equate having sex with Thai women as a great thing, I would say I was an under-achiever 

 

 

 

 

[fredwiggy]

Just now, Logosone said:

But you do use her.

 

Are you telling me you do not use your woman. Not for anything? Not for sex, for laundry, for cleaning, for doing all the menial task you don't want to do? 

 

What does she do all day?

Sharing household duties isn't using. Sex is always mutual. I've always done cooking, cleaning, laundry yard work and helping with the kids because I know a lot don't, and a woman appreciates those things. I saw my dad do most of the same.

[Logosone]

7 minutes ago, fredwiggy said:

Sharing household duties isn't using. Sex is always mutual. I've always done cooking, cleaning, laundry yard work and helping with the kids because I know a lot don't, and a woman appreciates those things. I saw my dad do most of the same.

So you do exactly 50% of all the kitchen cleaning and vaccuum cleaning and the laundry?

[PaulieAUS]

18 minutes ago, bwpage3 said:

 

If I had to equate having sex with Thai women as a great thing, I would say I was an under-achiever 

 

 

Haha !  Sex with Thai women (read: free) is certainly not an achievement. It's so bluddy easy to get laid there as I am sure many lads on here can affirm.

 

 

[fredwiggy]

1 minute ago, Logosone said:

So you do exactly 50% of all the kitchen cleaning and vaccuum cleaning and the laundry?

Sometimes more. We both cook every day. We both do the wash. I water the grass and plants ans she sweeps and mops the floors. We both do things with our daughter. If it rains, I mop the floors after she sweeps. Pretty equal but I don't count.

[Logosone]

4 minutes ago, fredwiggy said:

Sometimes more. We both cook every day. We both do the wash. I water the grass and plants ans she sweeps and mops the floors. We both do things with our daughter. If it rains, I mop the floors after she sweeps. Pretty equal but I don't count.

Well, I'm glad you found a way that works for you.

 

I hope when you wake up in ten years and turn right it's not a total nightmare.

 

 

[BritManToo]

36 minutes ago, fredwiggy said:

Sharing household duties isn't using. Sex is always mutual. I've always done cooking, cleaning, laundry yard work and helping with the kids because I know a lot don't, and a woman appreciates those things. I saw my dad do most of the same.

So you pay for everything then do half the chores as well?

Edited June 1, 2020 by BritManToo

[thaibeachlovers]

17 hours ago, fredwiggy said:

Love exists. She already shouts at me, and has . Attention comes and goes, along with the mood swings. I've accepted it and don't need that much attention anyway. She does her "thing" as a wife, cooking,cleaning,shopping,taking care of daughter, so that's okay. If it gets less, like all relationships do, I'm okay because of the former. Nice feelings never disappear if you continue to treat your wife well, and look at her not as an object but as a person with moods, feelings and bad days. Lastly, all women that aren't pigs or greedy want love.

I never wanted a housekeeper, child minder, cook etc. I can do all that myself. I wanted to get married so I'd have a companion through good and bad times, someone to have sex and cuddles with.

If we are going to lead separate lives, what was the point of getting married in the first place?

 

It's not the dark ages any more- we don't have to get married so we can work dawn to dusk and die at 40.

[thaibeachlovers]

10 hours ago, BritManToo said:

So you pay for everything then do half the chores as well?

What's that saying about one born every minute?

 

Sadly, I was one too, till I came to my senses and divorced her. Pity I can't get in a time machine and go back to the time I met her.

[fredwiggy]

10 hours ago, Logosone said:

Well, I'm glad you found a way that works for you.

 

I hope when you wake up in ten years and turn right it's not a total nightmare.

 

 

I'm already awake. No guarantees on the future for anyone. You can treat someone the best they've ever been treated and they can reject it based on how they were treated as a child. if you don't treat them right, and now, your wake up call will be soon. If you don't want the responsibility of a wife and family, and won't do your share, stay single. That way you won't hurt anyone. You can make your own nightmares.

[thaibeachlovers]

10 hours ago, fredwiggy said:

Sometimes more. We both cook every day. We both do the wash. I water the grass and plants ans she sweeps and mops the floors. We both do things with our daughter. If it rains, I mop the floors after she sweeps. Pretty equal but I don't count.

When I lived with a western woman in a western country we did everything equally. Housework, cooking, shopping etc, BUT she paid half of all bills.

In LOS farangs tend to pay for everything, so if they are paying for the wife, why should they also do half or more of all the housekeeping and cooking etc?

At least my Thai wife had to go to work for her own money, as I didn't give her an "allowance", though I did pay the bills as 9,000 baht a month doesn't go far.

[fredwiggy]

Just now, thaibeachlovers said:

I never wanted a housekeeper, child minder, cook etc. I can do all that myself. I wanted to get married so I'd have a companion through good and bad times, someone to have sex and cuddles with.

If we are going to lead separate lives, what was the point of getting married in the first place?

 

It's not the dark ages any more- we don't have to get married so we can work dawn to dusk and die at 40.

Neither have I. That's why I do more than my share of taking care of things. I've been alone, and can do anything I need to. I married to have a companion and family with. It didn't work for me before, buts it's working fine now. Everyone has to adjust to their partner because women and men aren't the same. They both come from different backgrounds and ideologies, and there is going to be conflict. It's how you work out that conflict that matters. No, we don't have to get married. It's a choice. Everyone works if they want money, but it's not dawn to dusk and you die when it's your time.

[fredwiggy]

Just now, thaibeachlovers said:

When I lived with a western woman in a western country we did everything equally. Housework, cooking, shopping etc, BUT she paid half of all bills.

In LOS farangs tend to pay for everything, so if they are paying for the wife, why should they also do half or more of all the housekeeping and cooking etc?

At least my Thai wife had to go to work for her own money, as I didn't give her an "allowance", though I did pay the bills as 9,000 baht a month doesn't go far.

I don't pay for my wife. I pay because I'm retired and I bring in the money. When she finds work around here, we both do it. I do half and more because I want to, not because I have to. It was the same back in America. We both worked, and we both shared the household duties. She put in what she made like I did. Didn't work out for other reasons, but it wasn't because of the former.

[PaulieAUS]

1 hour ago, fredwiggy said:

I don't pay for my wife. I pay because I'm retired and I bring in the money. When she finds work around here, we both do it. I do half and more because I want to, not because I have to. It was the same back in America. We both worked, and we both shared the household duties. She put in what she made like I did. Didn't work out for other reasons, but it wasn't because of the former.

If I was paying for my other half, I would not be doing anything around the house. That's such a beta male move.

 

My ex-wife who was Thai but we met and lived in Australia paid 50% for everything as we were both working and shared assets and bills together. She was an architect and on good money and didn't ask for a dime from me.

 

If I was to live in Thailand and find a local, it's highly likely that I'd be paying for everything (they are all poor and/or broke) so it doesn't make sense for me to lift a finger to help out around the house to appease the other half. Why sign up for such a raw deal? She won't be happy even if you pay the bills anyway and give her money. Thais are never happy, it's in their genes to always want more more more. Therefore what you should be doing is spend as little as possible on them, focus on your own happiness and manage a female rotation system. 

Edited June 2, 2020 by PaulieAUS

[BobBKK]

15 years ago when Thailand was still happy, girls cheap, condos cheap and everyone just wanted a good time. Since Prayut everything has gone down the toilet.

[fredwiggy]

Just now, PaulieAUS said:

If I was paying for my other half, I would not be doing anything around the house. That's such a beta male move.

 

My ex-wife who was Thai but we met and lived in Australia paid 50% for everything as we were both working and shared assets and bills together.

 

If I was to live in Thailand and find a local, it's highly likely that I'd be paying for everything so it doesn't make sense for me to lift a finger to help out around the house to appease the other half. Why sign up for such a raw deal? She won't be happy even if you pay the bills anyway and give her money. Thais are never happy, it's in their genes to always want more more more. Therefore what you should be doing is spend as little as possible on them, focus on your own happiness and manage a female rotation system. 

Beta male move?  lol  I guess you really don't understand what a woman's for. It's not a raw deal if you're man enough to help your other half. Women are not sex and household slaves. This isn't the Middle east (in some places) or caveman times. Being a man means you protect your wife and family from harm. That's the alpha part. Helping around the house to make her life easier isn't subordinate but right. What you and a few others do here, buying companionship, will leave you all alone someday, with nothing to look back on but paid "love". It's in everyone's genes to want more, but a mature person will be happy with what they have, as long as it isn't hurting or using them in some manner.

[Logosone]

1 hour ago, fredwiggy said:

I'm already awake. No guarantees on the future for anyone. You can treat someone the best they've ever been treated and they can reject it based on how they were treated as a child. if you don't treat them right, and now, your wake up call will be soon. If you don't want the responsibility of a wife and family, and won't do your share, stay single. That way you won't hurt anyone. You can make your own nightmares.

I know you're awake now. What I meant is that women deteriorate strongly in looks so if you wake up in ten years and look to your right I hope the sight you see will not put  you off completely.

 

My problem is that I need to have a very attractive woman, but attractive women will become unattractive from age 40 generally. I can't even imagine waking up next to a 50 year old woman, that would be a total nightmare.

 

Another thing is that have I have high sexual demands, and whilst initially, in young age, women will meet those demands, as they get older and focus on children they are less and less inclined to do so, to focus on you. I found that a serious problem.

 

I'm not concerned about rejection. I'm concerned I will want to reject her, because I have noticed, after 20 years with a woman that she changes dramatically and dramatically for the worse. 

 

Anyway, if none of those things bother you, that's fantastic for you and if you're happy to do 50% of the housework then you found your way. That's not my way, but I'm glad you found happiness at least.

 

You're absolutely right of course that you should never ever agree to children, no matter how much pressure the woman puts on you unless you yourself want children. They will change everything. And again, in terms of the wife-husband relationship it will get significantly worse.

Edited June 2, 2020 by Logosone

[fredwiggy]

Just now, Logosone said:

I know you're awake now. What I meant is that women deteriorate strongly in looks so if you wake up in ten years and look to your right I hope the sight you see will not put  you off completely.

 

My problem is that I need to have a very attractive woman, but attractive women will become unattractive from age 40 generally. I can't even imagine waking up next to a 50 year old woman, that would be a total nightmare.

 

Another thing is that have I have high sexual demands, and whilst initially, in young age, women will meet those demands, as they get older and focus on children they are less and less inclined to do so, to focus on you. I found that a serious problem.

 

I'm not concerned about rejection. I'm concerned I will want to reject her, because I have noticed, after 20 years with a woman that she changes dramatically and dramatically for the worse. 

 

Anyway, if none of those things bother you, that's fantastic for you and if you're happy to do 50% of the housework then you found your way. That's not my way, but I'm glad you found happiness at least.

 

You're absolutely right of course that you should never ever agree to children, no matter how much pressure the woman puts on you unless you yourself want children. They will change everything. And again, in terms of the wife-husband relationship it will get significantly worse.

Agree. My wife is very attractive and by the time she isn't, which I think will be quite awhile, I'll be past my hormonal urges. Then I'll just go fishing more.  I'm almost 64 and very sexual also, and we are very compatible that way. It's good you don't want to reject a woman if she loses her attraction. At least you have a conscience.

[thaibeachlovers]

10 minutes ago, BobBKK said:

15 years ago when Thailand was still happy, girls cheap, condos cheap and everyone just wanted a good time. Since Prayut everything has gone down the toilet.

Rubbish. LOS started going down when Thaksin became PM, IMO.

Other than the immigration things haven't changed much far as living in LOS is concerned ( I'm leaving the bar scene out of it as that has changed a lot, but too complicated to get into in this post ).

If there's a problem with the exchange rate, blame your own country for that, not LOS.

[fredwiggy]

11 hours ago, BritManToo said:

So you pay for everything then do half the chores as well?

Yes, and help her family at the farm too.

[thaibeachlovers]

8 minutes ago, Logosone said:

look to your right

No wonder I was confused by that statement. My partners always lay on my left.

 

10 minutes ago, Logosone said:

You're absolutely right of course that you should never ever agree to children, no matter how much pressure the woman puts on you unless you yourself want children. They will change everything. And again, in terms of the wife-husband relationship it will get significantly worse.

Far as I'm concerned romance is over when children arrive. Life becomes about them and not yourself, and quite rightly too. No child should be born without the parents wanting to care for them 100%.

I made a huge mistake and lived with a woman that had 2 kids from before. Never ever ever again.

[thaibeachlovers]

4 minutes ago, fredwiggy said:

Yes, and help her family at the farm too.

As long as they don't expect you to that's fine, IMO.

Do it as long as you want to, but don't let them come to rely on you doing so.

[thaibeachlovers]

28 minutes ago, fredwiggy said:

Beta male move?  lol  I guess you really don't understand what a woman's for. It's not a raw deal if you're man enough to help your other half. Women are not sex and household slaves. This isn't the Middle east (in some places) or caveman times. Being a man means you protect your wife and family from harm. That's the alpha part. Helping around the house to make her life easier isn't subordinate but right. What you and a few others do here, buying companionship, will leave you all alone someday, with nothing to look back on but paid "love". It's in everyone's genes to want more, but a mature person will be happy with what they have, as long as it isn't hurting or using them in some manner.

I'm guessing you don't understand what a man's for. It's not to make some woman's life better without her making the man's life better.

What does she do for you that makes your life better, and that you couldn't get from an employee? The way you put it it's all about you giving to her, but not much the other way.

Marriage isn't a ticket to happiness as the divorce rates tell.

I'd rather have never been married than end up in the same place but a lot poorer from supporting a wife and family ( Thai ) that didn't deserve it.

Edited June 2, 2020 by thaibeachlovers

[Logosone]

8 minutes ago, fredwiggy said:

Agree. My wife is very attractive and by the time she isn't, which I think will be quite awhile, I'll be past my hormonal urges. Then I'll just go fishing more.  I'm almost 64 and very sexual also, and we are very compatible that way. It's good you don't want to reject a woman if she loses her attraction. At least you have a conscience.

I can believe it, Asian women can stave of the effects of ageing much longer. Then it happens all at once.

 

You're of course right that the older a man gets the less important things like sex or looks become. I know someone who was a musician and because of work had endless opportunity to have sex. He could never remain faithful. It was well known that  he'd cheat on every woman. After about 73 he stayed with a woman and didn't stray anymore.  Many very old men will compromise on looks and sex, because they just won't matter anymore to the same extent.

 

I suppose they figure that at 73 they couldn't start over with someone else anymore anyway. It's usually a sad spectacle as the much younger 50 year old woman will take control of finances, live her own life and treat that man more like an uncle than a husband.

 

Nobody wants to reject a woman. After all the time and money you put into any relationship inevitably, and the hurt it would cause her. However, if she refuses sexual demands and does not take care of you sexually, sadly I think it has to be done.

 

 

 

 

[thaibeachlovers]

30 minutes ago, fredwiggy said:

What you and a few others do here, buying companionship, will leave you all alone someday, with nothing to look back on but paid "love".

A lot of men get left alone to look back on a lack of love and no sex from the woman they married. At least when one pays for it one actually get sex. Husbands still pay and pay and pay, but only get sex when she wants it.

[Logosone]

10 minutes ago, thaibeachlovers said:

 

Far as I'm concerned romance is over when children arrive. Life becomes about them and not yourself, and quite rightly too. No child should be born without the parents wanting to care for them 100%.

I made a huge mistake and lived with a woman that had 2 kids from before. Never ever ever again.

I was for ten years with this woman, and inevitably she started banging on about children as she was turning 30. I delayed it as long as possible. I could feel in my bones I did not want children. However, she would not stop going on about it. And I thought we'd stay together, why not make her happy. And a man needs a legacy. So why not. When she wanted another I refused. She just stopped taking the pill and tricked me into another. Anyway, those children are lovely, a joy at times, beautiful and I'm glad they're there. However, of course the woman became an exhausted wreck looking after two kids, the house resembled a permanent war zone of filth, she was too exhausted to fulfill her duty in the bedroom and lost all interest. What's more as she had to become assertive with children, it seemed to awake the self-centred boss-bitch.

 

From a relationship perspective having children was the worst decision possible.

[thaibeachlovers]

1 minute ago, Logosone said:

I was for ten years with this woman, and inevitably she started banging on about children as she was turning 30. I delayed it as long as possible. I could feel in my bones I did not want children. However, she would not stop going on about it. And I thought we'd stay together, why not make her happy. And a man needs a legacy. So why not. When she wanted another I refused. She just stopped taking the pill and tricked me into another. Anyway, those children are lovely, a joy at times, beautiful and I'm glad they're there. However, of course the woman became an exhausted wreck looking after two kids, the house resembled a permanent war zone of filth, she was too exhausted to fulfill her duty in the bedroom and lost all interest. What's more as she had to become assertive with children, it seemed to awake the self-centred boss-bitch.

 

From a relationship perspective having children was the worst decision possible.

Having a child changes a women in a fundamental way that men can't understand.

The only safe way is to have a vasectomy. The pill isn't fail safe. If the guy doesn't want a vasectomy she needs to have an IUD inserted.

 

BTW, women are quite capable of taking care of 2 kids. If she couldn't you should have stepped in and created some rules for them to live by, then made sure they lived by them. Kids need limits or they grow up ratbags like my Thai nephews.