How many genuine Thai friends do you have?

[JAFO]

The 2 pics on this last page are really sub standard IMO. Wouldn't give any of them a 5 or better. They all look worn out, terrible teeth etc.

 

Good luck 

[WineOh]

6 minutes ago, JAFO said:

Man. Not one of them looks appealing or would even get a glance from me. Of course each of us has different standards.

 

 

 

10 hours ago, mike787 said:

MANY to choose from and ALL make me smile.

Like a pack of wild dogs ????

[JAFO]

3 minutes ago, smutcakes said:

None of them look great, but would still be up them like a rat up a drain pipe.

I agree, none look great difference, I would pass. WAY WAY too many beauties around. No need to settle 

[JAFO]

2 minutes ago, Liverpoolfan said:

Like a pack of wild dogs ????

I few look like they could eat corn on the cob through a picket fence....????

[mike787]

52 minutes ago, Liverpoolfan said:

 

Like a pack of wild dogs ????

YEAH...and so wild!  Don't ya just love it...Thailand is the BEST place for a man.  Worth every baht and more.

[daphnia88]

you need to understand their culture. There's a hierarchy in their circle of relations with people. 

The "inner circle" consist of people they've known since forever: family and school friends who they grew up with. These are the only people who get to see the real them. 

The middle circle or the "polite circle" consist of friends they've met recently. E.g. coworkers, adult friends (this includes you, the farang. Eventhough you're her husband etc, you will never be able to enter the inner circle, simply because you didn't know her since Adam.) They are very polite and friendly with people in this circle but as you said, you'll never get them to open up. 

Then there's the outer circle, which are strangers. They don't give a rat's ass about strangers. If you've seen how ignorant thais can be when driving or even walking, and don't move away even if they're about to bump into you, it's because of this. 

 

Source: a cultural expert who lived in thailand for about 30 years and married to one for 20 (not me). When he explained this to me, it all made sense. 

[canuckamuck]

11

[richard_smith237]

13 minutes ago, daphnia88 said:

you need to understand their culture. There's a hierarchy in their circle of relations with people. 

The "inner circle" consist of people they've known since forever: family and school friends who they grew up with. These are the only people who get to see the real them. 

The middle circle or the "polite circle" consist of friends they've met recently. E.g. coworkers, adult friends (this includes you, the farang. Eventhough you're her husband etc, you will never be able to enter the inner circle, simply because you didn't know her since Adam.) They are very polite and friendly with people in this circle but as you said, you'll never get them to open up. 

Then there's the outer circle, which are strangers. They don't give a rat's ass about strangers. If you've seen how ignorant thais can be when driving or even walking, and don't move away even if they're about to bump into you, it's because of this. 

 

Source: a cultural expert who lived in thailand for about 30 years and married to one for 20 (not me). When he explained this to me, it all made sense. 

I kind of get the hierarchy circles....  but don’t quite see the same ‘distribution’ in my life or that of some of my friends. 

 

1) The Inner Circle - One of my closest friends is a Thai guy I’ve known for over 20 years, we know a lot about each other. A couple of my Western friends here also have Thai male friends they are extremely close with. Our friendships overlap and while we are each individually in this inner circle, it doesn’t quite extend to the ‘friend of a friend’.

I also see that friends of mine are truly loved and cared for by their Thai In-Laws in an incredible manner. While there is a good and healthy mutual respect I don’t think I quite have this with my in-laws, but I see that a couple of friends of mine who are married do.

The older we become the harder it is for people to fall into this category, trust takes time.

This primary circle is primarily one of absolute trust.

 

2) The Second Circle - (I definitely agree with this) I have a lot of friends I would place in this second circle, a lot of them are Thai, met through friends, sports or hobbies, some are closer than others. Extended family are also in this ’second circle’ as a friends of my Wife who know me etc... It's easy for friends to ’stay’ in this circle for years. 

 

 

3) The Third Circle - Those who Thai’s treat with indifference - its why Thai’s can seem so rude sometimes. It's not deliberate, its just they really don’t care. 

 

 

[daphnia88]

15 minutes ago, richard_smith237 said:

I kind of get the hierarchy circles....  but don’t quite see the same ‘distribution’ in my life or that of some of my friends. 

 

1) The Inner Circle - One of my closest friends is a Thai guy I’ve known for over 20 years, we know a lot about each other. A couple of my Western friends here also have Thai male friends they are extremely close with. Our friendships overlap and while we are each individually in this inner circle, it doesn’t quite extend to the ‘friend of a friend’.

I also see that friends of mine are truly loved and cared for by their Thai In-Laws in an incredible manner. While there is a good and healthy mutual respect I don’t think I quite have this with my in-laws, but I see that a couple of friends of mine who are married do.

The older we become the harder it is for people to fall into this category, trust takes time.

This primary circle is primarily one of absolute trust.

 

2) The Second Circle - (I definitely agree with this) I have a lot of friends I would place in this second circle, a lot of them are Thai, met through friends, sports or hobbies, some are closer than others. Extended family are also in this ’second circle’ as a friends of my Wife who know me etc... It's easy for friends to ’stay’ in this circle for years. 

 

 

3) The Third Circle - Those who Thai’s treat with indifference - its why Thai’s can seem so rude sometimes. It's not deliberate, its just they really don’t care. 

 

 

Just keep in mind that we don't know everything that happens in other people's lives. If your friend tells you ABC, it doesn't always mean ABC. There might be something he is not telling you, namely DEF. Maybe he is only saying ABC to make him look good. While it's not impossible, I'm quite skeptical when someone says they are so accepted, loved, and everythign is 100% peachy with their thai families. Could be a blatant lie, could also be denial. Could also be just a rose-tinted pair of glasses many men here have when it comes to thai ladies.

[Vigilante]

Zero here...and I tried.

This being said, I don't think thais have ANY thai friends either.

At least what we mean by 'friends' in the West

I have noticed also that they are not big on relatives either.

 

[jak2002003]

In life it's rare to have real friends, who will help you out in times of trouble and be loyal to you. 

 

I have 4 Thai friends I call true friends. Sure they are far from perfect, but I know I can trust them, know we understand each other and know they would stick by me in difficult times. 

 

As for fellow farang I would say I have a lot of friends, but I would not rely on them as much as my Thai ones ( exception being some of my close family members). 

[Kurtf]

Anyone who says they have more than 5 doesn't have a clue what a true friend is. If you have 5 in a lifetime you are above average in luck.

[thaibeachlovers]

On 7/1/2020 at 2:22 PM, Liverpoolfan said:

How many genuine Thai friends do you have?

(and by genuine I mean no other ulterior motive involved, be that personal or financial). 

 How many genuine friends of any nationality does any of us have? I have 2 that I can think of. I used to think I had lots, but realised that most were not genuine at all.

The only Thai "friend" I thought I had was my wife, but she wasn't either. Never wanted to make friends with Thai males and the women I met had gone by the next time I visited LOS.

[thaibeachlovers]

On 7/4/2020 at 10:17 AM, richard_smith237 said:

One of my closest friends is a Thai guy I’ve known for over 20 years, we know a lot about each other.

I had 2 friends of over 30 years. One stole a lot of money from me and the other went a bit mental ( smoked too much you know what ) and hates me now.

[Donutz]

I have a handful friends, both Thai and Dutch (and some other nationalities), and a whole bunch of acquaintances. As I only go to Thailand for the holidays I don't exactly see my Thai friends often. When I am around though,  I do get numerous  invitations to meet up to go sight seeing, eat, drink, socialise etc. Those that invite me for dinner most  insist in paying the bill, (to which I object), as they are happy to see me again after so many months. On a recent meet up and an other of my objections the reply was ' stop worrying, you don't need to be kreng jai, we are friends'. Hanging out with any of them is fun, I don't see them any differently than any other friends and acquaintances I have back home and around the globe. How I met them? Maybe half via my late wife, the rest by bumping into them while traveling around the country or online,  or meeting them via current friends and acquaintances. Most of then are fairly well educated, they speak decent or good English (much better than my Thai) and conversations go about pretty much anything. As for gender, the majority is female.  I guess that's the only difference with back home.  

 

I find myself a bit of an introvert and if I can have a bunch of Thai friends and acquaintances, surely so can most people. Just don't look at Thais as different or some collective group. The usual 'Thai people are blablabla' always makes me laugh, I can't see them any more or less different than other humans on this planet. Have a chat, hang out with those people you feel comfortable and sanook with. Be kind and respectful and it will be returned. The few crooks and freeloaders become quite apparent swiftly so cutting those out shouldn't be too hard at all. Once you know some people it shouldn't be too difficult to come into contact with more people. 

[n00dle]

On 7/2/2020 at 7:39 AM, JRG23 said:

Been living/working in Thailand for about 20 years. 

I have no Thai friends. None.

Sorry, but I could never ever trust a Thai as a friend.

Ill bet you were real tight with folks back home too.

[GinBoy2]

On 7/3/2020 at 3:50 PM, daphnia88 said:

you need to understand their culture. There's a hierarchy in their circle of relations with people. 

The "inner circle" consist of people they've known since forever: family and school friends who they grew up with. These are the only people who get to see the real them. 

The middle circle or the "polite circle" consist of friends they've met recently. E.g. coworkers, adult friends (this includes you, the farang. Eventhough you're her husband etc, you will never be able to enter the inner circle, simply because you didn't know her since Adam.) They are very polite and friendly with people in this circle but as you said, you'll never get them to open up. 

Then there's the outer circle, which are strangers. They don't give a rat's ass about strangers. If you've seen how ignorant thais can be when driving or even walking, and don't move away even if they're about to bump into you, it's because of this. 

 

Source: a cultural expert who lived in thailand for about 30 years and married to one for 20 (not me). When he explained this to me, it all made sense. 

This kinda chimes with my experiences.

 

Now obviously a lot of variables, main one being language. I speak fluent Thai & Lao, but even then I have acquaintances, not friends.

 

But I'm not sure how different that is to life in the West. Throughout my life I've have people I've called friends, but they have come and gone.

 

Yet I have a couple of friends from my early childhood, and even though we now live thousands of miles apart I still chat, and I know if I ever needed something they would be there for me